Disclaimers: Most of the dialogue is from the episode. I don't own The Ghost Squad or Downton Abbey. I don't own the characters either. I hope you'll enjoy it.

The next morning, early on, Anna was at Jimmy's to help him tidy the files and close the case. She had sent a text to John asking if he was all right but she hadn't received an answer. She knew what the pictures of John would do to his career but she couldn't have asked Jimmy to destroy them. She couldn't ask him to risk his own career, he was only doing his job. Anna was angry at herself for not reacting before anything happened. If only she had disagreed to go towards the noise and told him to go home and sleep, none of this would have happened.

"Well done," Jimmy said, carrying a box full of files. "She'll be pleased."

"Yep," answered Anna absentmindedly. She wasn't in the mood to talk or be congratulated about her work when all she had accomplished was frame the only police officer who was genuinely trying to make a difference out there, facing hell every day.

"I'll tell you what's odd, though," he continued, oblivious to her desire to be left alone. "I was going through his posts yesterday, and there was a letter from his son."

At that, Anna stopped writing, and raised her head, looking at Jimmy intently.

"He lives in Australia, now. And he was really gushing about how much he missed him and all the rest of it, and he mentioned his mum. You know what? She never left him. She died. Cancer, six years ago. So all that stuff about him beating her up and all the rest of it, it was all just office gossip."

This felt like a punch in her guts. A new wave of guilt washed over her. How could she have thought for one second that this man could have been a wife-beater? Because he was a drunk? Well, now she knew why he had turned to the bottle, and it was because his wife had passed, leaving him all alone. She had judged him, like all the others without any proof. She felt ashamed.

As the last pieces of the puzzle took their parts, Anna saw John in a new light. Her heart beat faster at the thought of him, this big man who was just a soft teddy bear under all the harsh facades. He had built thick walls around his heart to protect himself from more heartache. She knew in this instant that, despite what she had seen him do to Nathalie the day prior, she couldn't deny the way she felt anymore. And now she had certainly blown up any chances of them being together one day, because of the way they had met. She was now the reason he was maybe going to be fired.

Someone knocked at the door and Jimmy went to open it. O'Brien appeared on the other side, a smile on her lips.

"Hello, Pete." He nodded. "Well done, Anna!" she continued. "We persuaded Nathalie to make a formal complaint, so it shall all be sorted pretty quickly. My bosses are delighted, gold stars all around."

Anna was almost sick hearing her rejoicing about ruining someone's career. Had the woman no heart at all? Of course, John was just another name on a piece of paper to her. He was just a case to be dealt with and a means to get herself higher up in the hierarchy.

"All right, I'll arrange your transfer out of there. As it's so quick, we might want to kill a fictitious auntie of yours."

Anna nodded. She knew she couldn't let her show how she really felt. But she needed to get away and she desperately needed to see John.

"I might need to get back to the station. My shift starts soon if that's ok?"

"Of course, of course, off you go," she answered.

Anna didn't wait for a second more to stand up, grab her coat and leave the apartment.

Once she was outside the building, she stopped, taking a big gulp of fresh air. And for a minute she let all the emotions she had suppressed flow away. A low sob escaped her lips and hot tears streamed down her cheeks. Then she wiped them off and went to her car.

Back at the station, Anna was waiting in the conference room for the daily meeting to start. Police officers were chatting, gathering up all around her. She stayed in a corner, trying to see if she could see John. More people came into the room, but still no trace of him. Anyway, he was certainly late, as usual.

Unfortunately, Thomas spotted her and rushed towards her.

"Anna," he called her out. She really wasn't in the mood to talk to this prick who was speculating about John's personal life when he knew nothing about the man he really was and the struggles he was facing. She couldn't really avoid him, so she stood still. He came behind her.

"So John finally flipped, eh? What a twat. Thank Christ, he's out of a job," he said.

"Thomas, fuck right off," she said, not able to contain her anger anymore.

She left him dumbfounded and moved forward to put some distance between them. DI Carson entered the room which suddenly fell silent. She silently thanked him for preventing Thomas to come after her.

"All right, all right. Let's get started," he paused, his face a bit darker than usual. "Before the rest, Sergeant Bates has been temporarily suspended after an alleged assault last night."

'Already?' Anna wondered. O'Brien was quicker than she thought. She had hoped to see John before any of the investigations had started.

"So," Carson continued, "two officers from the police complaint are on their way to talk to him today. Anna Smith, where are you?"

All eyes fell on her. She slowly rose her hand, signalling her presence. Carson gave her a sad smile.

"They want to see you too."

Anna silently nodded. This was her chance, she thought. Her chance to right some wrongs she had caused. She would tell those officers how John had been doing his job brilliantly and this was a mistake. She was prepared to lie for him, the hell with her career.

Later that day, Anna was waiting her turn to be interrogated in the cafeteria. She took a sip of her coffee in front of her, lost in her thoughts. She kept thinking about John and Nathalie. How was justice working in this country? Nathalie who had done countless attacks on people, hurting them badly hadn't been tried for anything while John who had slipped one time, drunk and exhausted, provoked by Nathalie, was facing losing his job. What would he do? She was concerned about him. He was already drowning before this, how will he ever get better if they took his job?

She didn't notice John entering the empty cafeteria. When she heard the door closing, she turned around in her chair and saw him standing there, wearing a dark blue suit and light blue shirt. She had always seen him in uniform and casual wear but this was the first time he was wearing a suit. It looked good on him. He walked over to her table.

"Hiya," he whispered, shyly.

"Hey," she answered softly.

They were both holding their breath, not knowing what the other was thinking. He looked at her tenderly, shame in his eyes and gave her a small smile.

"I hear you're gonna be a big hero. Deny it ever happened." He turned around and looked at her, a smile on his lips.

"And?" she asked, unsure of what he was thinking. He rocked on his feet, his hands in his pocket.

"Well," he then said, "just you're gonna look a bit of a tit, that's all." She looked at him, at a loss. "I just told them everything," he explained.

Tears formed in her eyes. He had just saved her, by sacrificing himself. He had heard of her intention and didn't want her to lose her position because of him. Her heart tightened.

"What?" she said.

"Oh, come on, Anna." He let a sigh escape his lips. "What else was I supposed to do?" He grabbed the chair next to hers and sat.

"I mean…" she began.

"Shut up, shut up," he softly said, his hand raised in front of her to stop her from talking more. It was obvious he was uncomfortable. He crossed his arms and disentangled them again, taking his head in his hand.

"We were both there," he continued. "We both know what I did." He looked her in the eyes, regret written all over his face. "I deserve to be kicked out."

Anna looked at her feet. She couldn't agree to that but she couldn't deny either that what he had done was serious.

He crossed his arms again and sighed loudly, not knowing what to say next.

"Why didn't you tell me about your wife?" she asked to his surprise. His face fell as he scanned her face. "Or anyone?" she continued.

He paused for a few seconds before answering.

"God, you really have been doing some digging about me, haven't you?"

Anna took her courage and her chances and decided to tell him the whole truth.

"Look, John, I need to tell you that I'm not a new DC. I was engaged to investigate your case after some complaints…"

He kept looking at her for a few seconds, his face emotionless.

"I know," he finally let out. "I've known for a few weeks now." She shot him a shocked look. "I'm not a fool Anna. You're too qualified to be a new recruit. And the things you've discovered about Dani… Well, there was only one explanation."

She blinked harshly, tears prickling in her eyes.

"But, aren't you angry at me?"

"No," he smiled. "Why would I?"

She laughed nervously.

"Maybe because we're in this situation because of me?" Her voice broke and tears ran down her cheeks.

"Shh, shh," he soothed her, his hand caressing her cheeks, wiping the tears away.

"None of this happened because of you. I did it to myself. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

She took his hand in hers and squeezed it a little.

"So?" she asked again.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell anyone about your wife?"

"I don't know," he said truthfully, shaking his head. "I didn't want their charity. Anyway, the image of the drunken old git, is close enough, ain't it?" he said, a sad smile on his lips.

Anna lowered her gaze, a new tear running down her cheek. She was hurting for him.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"What for?" he asked her, tenderly smiling at her. His hazel eyes were full of mixed compassion and sadness.

She couldn't find the right words. She sighed, shook her head and looked at him.

"I love you, you know?" she finally said. "I know it's not ladylike to say it, but I'm not a lady, and I don't pretend to be."

"You are a lady to me. I never knew a finer one," he answered, his eyes watering too. "But you should dream of a better man."

"I can't because there isn't one."

He looked at her intently, tilting his head forward but stopped before they could close the gap.

"Come on," he said, his voice raspy. "They're gonna want to talk to you next." He stood up and helped her to her feet. "And you make sure you tell them everything, yeah?"

She wiped her tears and nodded.

"Good girl," he said, putting his hand on the small of her back, guiding her towards the door. "Allow me," he said, opening the door for her. "Always a gentleman," he joked. She smiled and left the room.

In the hall, John stood in front of her. He put his left hand in his pocket. He slightly smiled, not knowing what to say next.

"Take care," he said and bent forward, gently kissing her cheek. His lips were so soft on her skin, like a caress. He turned away and did not look at her, hiding his face and tears from her.

This is a sad chapter, I know, but she's finally told him what she felt! But don't worry this is not over. And expect to see Mary and Robert in the next chapter!