.Fourteen.
The moment Obi-Wan had been both anticipating and dreading at the same time had arrived. Queen Amidala was safe. He had trained her to protect her mind from another possession as best as he could. She had accepted his guidance, listened, and learned. He considered her a remarkable young woman that he'd had the pleasure of getting to know - in more ways than one.
Once Obi-Wan had delivered word to the Royal Council that she was well, they insisted the Queen return to her duties. At that point, their time together was quite limited. Obi-Wan became a mere observer in her everyday activities. There was no point in him being here, he decided, much to his dismay.
The Jedi Knight had chosen to announce his impending departure during a council debriefing in the Queen's study. Obi-Wan could tell by the surprised and slightly hurt look on Padmé's face that he had disappointed her, but it was for the best.
If he had shared his decision with her while they were alone, he had no doubt she would insist upon spending his last few hours on Naboo sharing one last intimate moment. He wasn't sure he could manage to do that and then turn around and leave, not knowing if their paths would ever cross again.
Even as young as she was, Padmé was able to disguise her disappointment in front of her staff and smiled at him knowingly.
"It was my pleasure to get to know you, Knight Kenobi," she announced in the regal and deep tones of her position. "I wish you well on your journey."
"Thank you," Obi-Wan replied, perhaps a bit too coolly, seeing what all they had been through together.
Following a quick bow, he spun on his heel and returned to his assigned apartment – one he rarely made use of these days. Most of his time had been spent in the gardens, in the queen's own quarters, or in the hallway just outside of her suite. He had overheard the handmaidens tease about the Jedi Outside the Door once. As a joke, they had even fashioned a small bed for him to use while he was there. Late at night when he couldn't sleep, he would find some peace of mind kneeling on the mat they had provided to meditate on the presence inside. If he attuned his senses just so, he could hear her breathing and detect the steady rhythm of her heart. It was enough to still his thoughts, give him peace, and send him to sleep as well, all while sitting cross-legged on his makeshift bed in the hallway.
In fact, it was just last night following a flurry of activity in the palace while everyone prepared to welcome a visiting dignitary from Agamar who was interested in their plasma mining practices, that Obi-Wan realized it was time (probably past time) for him to leave.
Two days ago, he had felt something disturbing. It wasn't necessarily a tremor; more like a displacement. Like something important in the universe was now missing. His first thoughts went to his Master, although he hadn't heard from the man in nearly three months. Without their training bond, it was difficult to know what the older Jedi had been up to, (other than harassing the Jedi Council, of course). Obi-Wan was curious and determined to check in on him now that he was free of his responsibilities on Naboo.
This particular concern is what spurred him to leave, only later to come to the conclusion that he was nothing but a coward. He couldn't face Padmé alone to tell her about his departure. He had chosen to do it in front of an audience.
What little possessions he had with him were tossed into his duffel, along with a few trinkets he had picked up in Theed Market during their evening strolls. One, in particular – a moon crystal, was dear to him. Queen Amidala had purchased it for him herself and explained that it contained the Light of Shiraya and would protect him against evil.
There were many strange things in this universe, traces of magic and witchcraft, both of the Light and the Dark he had yet to discover. He wasn't one to question the validity of the object, and held it tightly in his palm just in case, as he grabbed his bag and headed toward the hangar.
A ship was waiting for him there, with a minimal crew and the queen's own private pilot. In two days' time, he would be back home and was already troubled with the thoughts of what he was leaving behind. Never before had Obi-Wan allowed himself to become so attached to a certain place and a particular someone. It was a troubling situation that he needed to overcome if he were to remain a Jedi and be free to help those who needed it, regardless of how far he had to travel and the time he had to spend away from her.
She had told him that all that didn't matter. But as naïve as he was in the ways of romance, Obi-Wan believed that such words were commonly spoken during the heat of passion. Promises were often made that could not be kept, and feelings shared that weren't necessarily true.
At one point, Obi-Wan had worried she was going to ask him to stay; to give up his life as a Jedi and become a permanent fixture in her lovely city. He was glad she hadn't since she most likely wouldn't have appreciated his answer.
As time passed, however, and their interactions became less routine, Obi-Wan was relieved to discover she had become more focused on her responsibilities and less on him. She seemed to take the news of his exit rather well, he thought. Not one tear had been shed. In fact, the only change he had noticed was a slight lift of a single brow and a slight tremor of her hand.
He was free to depart, free of any dramatic interludes, any embarrassing scenes of farewell. It was a relief.
Or was it?
If he was so relieved, then why were feet suddenly so heavy? Why was there a weight in the pit of his stomach? Why did he keep having the urge to look over his shoulder with the hopes of seeing her running toward him? In his mind, Obi-Wan fought against the fantasy of a tearful and emotional goodbye, during which they could exchange words they may regret later. Instead, the hangar was filled with nothing but pilots, crew members, mechanics, and N-1 fighters, with his own transport sitting impatiently before him.
One last time, he told himself. He would turn to glance behind him one last time before he boarded. The action only ended up confirming his earlier suspicions that perhaps she had spoken purely from emotion and they were just close friends. They would see each other again someday and maybe embrace for sentimental reasons, but that was all.
The realization was saddening, to say the least, and forced Obi-Wan to bolster his courage and ascend the ramp. He sat heavily down on the bench in the cockpit and nodded his head to Captain Olie, the pilot who would fly him back to Coruscant.
"Ready?" the man asked, his fingers hovering over the controls.
"Absolutely," Obi-Wan told him with false confidence, although the sound of the thrusters firing only seemed to burn a hole through his chest.
"Wait," Ric said after a moment. "What? Hold on. We have a situation here," he continued speaking, mostly to himself before he punched the communications button. "Tower, we need a moment."
The man's request to Theed Flight Control raised Obi-Wan's curiosity. Was there something wrong with the engines? Something perhaps he could help with?
Obi-Wan was quickly on his feet and approached the pilot's seat, only to notice a lone handmaiden standing in the hangar, directly in their path. No. Not a mere handmaiden, although the young woman had the appearance of one.
He could tell her apart from any of them. He knew her that well. It was the Queen herself standing there blocking their exit, and his heart sped up just a little.
"I'll deal with this," Obi-Wan told the man, who seemed more annoyed than curious.
As soon as his boots hit the shiny hangar floor, Obi-Wan's arms and senses were filled with Padmé, and the pain in his heart doubled. He didn't notice nor did he care that all of the hangar attendants were staring at them. She had gone to the trouble of removing her royal attire and washing her face – as if she actually believed no one would recognize her.
They were going to gossip about this and he shouldn't allow it to happen, and yet, he couldn't resist the feel of her skin beneath his hands or the warmth of her breath against his neck.
"I can't believe you were going to just leave like that! Without even saying goodbye!"
When she withdrew, Obi-Wan could see the pain in her gaze; the hurt he had caused, and he felt extremely guilty. "I thought it would be easiest," he told her, his excuse now sounding quite inadequate and childish.
"This is just temporary," she told him, pressing her forehead against his in an intimate way that ripped an entirely new hole in his heart. "We'll be together again someday. I just know it."
He had gifts, he had the Light and yet he couldn't be so sure. How could she?
"And besides, how lucky are we to have found someone that makes saying goodbye so difficult?"
Obi-Wan couldn't help but chuckle at her optimistic way of looking at things. He wished he could be the same. Leaving her was one of the most difficult things he had never done.
"When we do meet again, perhaps it will be under different circumstances where our time together isn't so limited. In the meantime, will you promise me something?"
Obi-Wan realized he should be wary. There was very little he could offer her; certainly not his time. His time didn't even belong to him! And yet, he found he couldn't deny her anything she wanted and he nodded his silent approval.
"Promise you'll send me a message once in a while, a hologram – anything to let me know you're alive and okay. Can you do that for me?"
It was the least he could do! He had warned her about this moment, the pain their eventual separation would cause, and yet Padmé seemed to be handing it much better than he was!
"Of course," he told her emphatically, drawing her even closer. Her eyes were misting, her lips moist and compelling and he could no longer resist their pull. She opened to him willingly like the desert receiving rain and drank of him greedily, her small arms wrapped tightly about his neck.
Their kiss deepened before ending with several shorter ones. Obi-Wan was only vaguely aware the ship's engines were still firing and Ric was most likely getting impatient. It was Padmé, his brave Padmé who made the first move, stepping back, putting an annoying distance between them.
"I'll be waiting to hear from you," she reminded him. Her voice was strong and a grin had spread her lips even though a tear had fallen from her eye.
He couldn't make any promises since he didn't know what the future held. Whether their destiny would intertwine again at some point, he couldn't say.
"I'll do my best," he told her instead. It was all he could think of to say.
Quickly, he ascended the ramp and returned to the cockpit, keeping his focus on the grated floor beneath his boots. Seeing her standing there watching him leave was too difficult to bear. He didn't wish to look, only to change his mind once Ric began to taxi toward the exit. Apparently, he was a glutton for punishment, because just before they pulled away, Obi-Wan lifted his head, only to discover Padmé was nowhere to be seen.