55
The evening was lovely and both men felt good as they headed to the parking garage to drive home, Jack more than slightly walking on air. Ianto had partaken a few drinks to the single one Jack had, so Jack was also going to be designated driver.
Something Ianto secretly knew he liked doing, being protective and all that which is why Ianto did not mind having the three or four champagnes that now had a lovely buzz running through his body. Speaking of bodies….
Jack squeaked as he found himself slammed against the wall, lips on his feverishly demanding attention and Jack let Ianto pet him a little… ok… he revelled in it. Right? They spent a few minutes getting a little hot before Ianto remembered where he was and staggered back with that hooded look that always made Jack a little shivery deep down.
"Come on Tiger" Jack said hoarsely as he ushered him through the door to find a couple of people ahead of them in the line to get their vehicles. Ianto chose to stand and hum softly to himself while Jack looked at some of the vehicles on display. Decadence and wealth was everywhere and the Austin Martin stood out. Cutely though. Like a kitten in a room full of pit bulls.
"Cone on man!" came an angry growl ahead of them and he man leaned around the one on front to dangle him keys in an obnoxious manner "get a move on. I need to get home!"
"Steady on there old chum, I believe I am first in line for…gerghhhh" the poor man who was merely pointing to his spot as first in the queue suddenly found himself on the ground with a punch to the throat as the man leaned over him.
"I am not your Chum Doringly ya poofta!" the man snarled.
Suddenly both Ianto and Jack were wide awake and sober, staring at the bigot who had no idea the landmine he had just stepped on. The click VERY audible to Jack as Ianto took a sharp intake of breath.
Oooooooo. Jack took a physical step back, ready to watch his pretty boy shine. Tiger gonna bat a little mousie?
"Excuse me, there is no need for that sort of rubbish. We all had a lovely evening and really, should all be mindful that Herself…" Ianto ducked the swing and then popped up to respond with one if his own, rocking the fucker back on his heels and as the man staggered back with his hands to his throat and a look of shock Ianto continued "As I was saying. Herself would not approve. Come on, I barely touched you, I was pulling that for Africa."
"How dare you! Do you know who I am?"
"Should i?" Ianto raised an eyebrow and Jack took another step to one side to help the other man to his feet, then hold him so he didn't' try to intervene thinking there was danger to the pretty one.
"I am UNIT! General…"
"AAAAAAHHHHH" Ianto interrupted with a loud exclamation as he pointed at him and spluttered "Oh my gods… it is you. Oh wow. This is… wow. I am … wow. Ok. I get it. Sorry sir, I should have recognized you."
The man preened a little as Ianto gushed and then Ianto started to speak slowly, emphasizing each word with hand movements and wide eyes like he was trying to communicate with someone who did not speak the same language "I. Me. Want you. You, yeah? To stop. Stop. Being. A wanker!"
The hand motions as Ianto said the last word left nothing to the imagination and Jack found himself letting out a single small snort of amusement before he could stop it.
"How dare you!" the UNIT fucker roared, taking a proper swing at Ianto who, to Jack's surprise let it land.
Of course it merely bounced off Ianto's head which is rather hard and the man yelped as he felt his knuckles meet the skull of a madman, then as Ianto reeled to one side he swung up and back, catching the idiot UNIT fucker in the chin and they all heard the unmistakable crack of a bone breaking.
By the time the fucker was on the ground, out cold, Ianto was shooting his cuffs like he has stumbled, not just broken a man's jaw in a Kingsman Uppercut Punch.
Kaboom.
Ianto looked over at the two men watching him and shrugged "What? He was asking for it. Fucking bigot."
"The thing is, I am not even gay" the poor man said as he smiled weakly at Ianto "I have no idea why he insists on needling me like that."
"Well, he might think twice next time now he knows that a real poofta can hit like that" Ianto said calmly, smiling softly at the man like they were sharing a joke, then he turned around as a car rolled into view "Ah, lovely. This is your town car I take it?"
"Thank you" the man slid behind the wheel, looking back up at the two men now standing side by side "Lovely to meet you both."
After he had driven off and the bellhop had ring for another to come help drag off the unconscious man Ianto said softly to Jack "we met already. He's the one who was at the Chrimerissma space vessel crash scene remember? Insisted on the bodies being treated with respect."
"Ah yeah, thought I knew him. That other rooster though… didn't like him much" jack replied conversationally.
Jack drove them home, happy mood restored as Into let his hand get a little wanderish.
A nice evening really.
Ianto would send Herself a lovely handwritten Thank You note tomorrow.