So sorry! My laptop broke and it took all this time to fix it!
Neither the story nor the characters belong to me.
Chapter Fiftheen
SHIKA
June eighth. Three weeks past the official start of fire season, and we were still waiting on our initial classification. Not that fires listened to any calendar or checked to see if their appearance would be convenient. Fires came when they damn well wanted to and devoured everything in their path until they either ran out of fuel or into us.
And we were nowhere near ready.
We'd gotten the rookies qualified in most of the courses and made sure the experienced firefighters were up on theirs too. The mobilization checklist had been done, and even the preparedness review had been completed by another Colorado crew. Talk about a whirlwind of training and paperwork.
"Sasuke, get out of my seat," Sakura ordered as she walked into the conference room armed with a cup of coffee, an armful of files, and a look that said she was serious.
"I was hoping you'd sit on my lap," he said with a grin.
She raised an eyebrow, and he moved from the end of the table. She might let him get away with murder at home, but as the manager of our crew, she didn't take his shit at the office.
Well, unless Sasuke's office door was closed, in which case you didn't knock unless the building was on fire.
Kakashi sat at the head of our table, with Naruto, me, and Sasuke on one side, and Yamato McCoy and Neji Hyuga on the other.
"Do you want to start, Kakashi?" Sakura handed us all files and set the remainder of the pile at her now-empty seat.
"Absolutely," he answered, opening his file. We all did the same.
"Okay." She walked over to the white board in a skirt and heels.
Sasuke could never stomach putting her in danger, the same way both Naruto and I had told Temari there was no way she was volunteering. Fuck, just the thought of her being in the way of a wildfire was enough to nauseate me.
"Classification came back this morning, and they have us as Type Two after last week's review."
A series of unhappy grunts rose from the table.
"Boys, you can be pissy all you want, but until you can cut two thousand feet of line an hour, you're not going to even touch Type One" Sakura answered with a shrug "We knew we weren't going to qualify as Type One until the end of season anyway. It's not like we have any incident stats to give them, because we haven't been in a fire yet. That was just preliminary. Chill."
A slight snort escaped me. Man, I adored her. She was no-nonsense, smart as hell, and had stuck by Sasuke's side, no matter what.
"Thoughts?" Kakashi asked, leaning back in his seat and giving us a once-over.
This was a test, and we all knew it.
"We're not split into efficient squads." I looked at the list of names on the white board. "Problem is, we're still feeling each other out, and we've got two real rookies. Three, if you count that Sabaku is coming from structure. He's never cut line before."
This time the grunts came in affirmation.
"Agreed," Neji said, his tone low as always. The guy didn't speak much, but he was the second most-experienced firefighter we had after Kakashi, and he knew his shit. "We have to split into three squads. Two would have been preferable as a first year, but we need to get one rookie on each squad, not just to cover for their segments but to train them up. I know Gaara wants to hover over his sister, but that's not doing him, her, or us any good."
"He's going to fight like hell" Naruto mused "If Temari was on our crew, especially as a first year, there's no way I would want her on another squad. I'd want her right next to me where I could watch after her." His glance met mine before he quickly looked away.
"Which means you wouldn't be cutting line as efficiently," Neji countered.
Everyone nodded. Kakashi sighed and rubbed his hands over his close-cut beard.
"Okay, I agree with Neji. Three is going to be the way to go, at least until we get the rookies trained up. Shika, how are we on physical requirements?"
I opened my notebook and put it on top of Sakura's file.
"All the legacies are up to standard..."
"Was there any doubt?" Sasuke interrupted with a grin. "And so are the transfers."
"Damn straight" Yamato said with a nod. As the senior firefighter in that group, he'd taken over a role we all appreciated as we worked to integrate everyone.
"So, our issue is stemming from the rookies. Konohamaru Chandler is quick on the run..."
"All-state track" Naruto supplied.
"But his push-ups are way beneath minimum"
"What about Karin?" Kakashi asked, and the table fell silent as I thumbed to her name in my book.
"She's coming along. Her mile run is at twelve minutes, which she couldn't do last month, and she's jogging the trail with the crew and not falling out."
"How are we going to handle that?" Kakashi asked me.
"I've got her working out with TenTen, and she's come a long way. She's about halfway there with her sit-ups, and her push-ups are actually approaching a good range, better than Konohamaru's."
A rumble of laughter sounded from the table.
"We've got until September eighth" Sakura said, thumbing through her planner "That's when the IHC certification team arrives. I'm shocked they agreed to come out, considering we won't even have a full season under our belts."
"We're Konoha" Kakashi answered, his voice gruff "No one is going to deny Konoha the chance to rise. Your dads paid for that chance, but that doesn't mean we can't blow it. Don't blow it."
No pressure or anything.
"Okay." I drummed my fingers over Karin's page in my readiness binder "Then we'll get her up to standard by then. We don't have a choice. If we lose Karin, we fall beneath the sixty percent minimum, and the town council will revoke our charter. Doesn't mean we can't still certify as something else, but if we want our dads' patches, then getting her ready is a team effort. I hear anyone say shit to her, or behind her back, and I'll kick them off the mountain myself."
"Agreed." Kakashi leaned forward, going through the file of reports. "Everything looks good so far, plans, vehicles, facilities... Sasuke, you, Naruto, and Shika put together a hell of a facility."
All three of us nodded at each other and then Kakashi, a small smile quirking up my lips. Sasuke flat-out grinned. Putting Konoha, KLC together had been a labor of love, and a hell of a lot of sweat. It had been over eighteen months of design, construction, and purchases before we even approached the town to ask for the Konoha name.
"Okay, bring in Karin and Gaara" Kakashi said to Neji.
Neji rose, the fucking giant that he was, and stalked out. A few minutes later, Karin and Gaara Sabaku walked in and stood at the end of the table, both sweating.
"Sorry it took so long. I was on the treadmill" Karin apologized, her eyes on the table.
"Karin" Kakashi's voice demanded her attention, and she gave it "Don't apologize for working your ass off on behalf of this crew. Ever. I wish half these guys had your work ethic."
She nodded quickly but looked back at the table. We were going to have to find a way to get that girl out of her shell.
"What can we do for you guys?" Gaara asked.
"We're going to split the crew into three squads" Kakashi announced "We need to work better in smaller groups and increase our line-cutting time. We're just not getting enough chains cut in an hour."
"Okay" Gaara said "How many more feet do we need?"
"Chains, Structure" Sasuke said with a smile "Learn the lingo. Sixty-six feet to a chain, thirty chains an hour in grass, six chains an hour in brush."
Gaara rolled his eyes.
"Fucking wildland."
"Welcome to real firefighting, son!" Yamato laughed, bringing the rest of the table with him.
"Point is, we're splitting you and Karin into different squads" Kakashi informed them, cool as a cucumber.
"What? No. Absolutely-fucking-not." Gaara paled.
"Really?" Karin answered at the same time, her eyes brighter than I'd seen them.
Gaara snapped his head toward his little sister.
"You want to be separated? You made me come back here, and now you want to be on a different squad? No. Mom would roll over in her..."
"Grave?" Karin snapped, crossing her arms.
Well, this just got interesting.
"Karin," Gaara warned.
"Guess what, Gaara? Mom was a hotshot. Not dad. She did it on her own, without a husband or a brother hovering over her during every training, every qualification test, every time she needed to run. What did I have for breakfast?"
"A banana protein shake" he answered. "I know because I made it for you."
"Exactly. You're hovering. You are an experienced firefighter, Gaara. Maybe not in wildland, but you know what you're doing. They need you to go do it, not hover over me to see if the grip on my Pulaski is right."
He backed up a step.
"You really want to be on different squads? Because I, what…smother you?" His eyes widened.
"You don't smother me, you just make it really hard to be anything but your chubby little sister."
Holy shit, a pin could have dropped in the conference room and we would have heard it. I glanced at Kakashi, wondering if we should let the siblings have some privacy, but he sent me a subtle headshake. Guess he wanted to see how they'd interact under fire. Literally.
"You're not…chubby," Gaara countered.
Agreed.
"Then stop treating me like I am! Like I can't possibly make it up the hill without you pacing me. Like I can't cut a line without you asking if I need a break. Without watching to make sure that I'm under my shelter before you deploy yours when we're in a drill. You have to let me do this on my own, Gaara, or I'm not going to know that I can."
His jaw flexed.
Naruto leaned forward.
"You're my little sister. I couldn't survive if something happened to you, and I didn't do everything I could to save you. To help you."
Naruto nodded.
"And I get that. I feel the same way about you. But you have to let me make some mistakes and grow, or I'll never be able to do this on my own. Is that what you want? For me to be utterly dependent on you?"
Naruto frowned.
Interesting.
"No, I don't…" He looked around the table and then shook his head. "One day, you're going to get married and have kids, your own family. You're not going to have time to supervise my breakfast, and you know what? You're going to be thankful that I'm not helpless. That I can succeed, so that you can too. But you have to let me, Gaara."
He swallowed and studied his sister's face for a very long minute. It was an eleven on the awkward scale for those of us watching.
Finally, Gaara nodded.
"Okay. Same crew. Different squads. I can live with that." He turned to Kakashi "Do it."
Then he walked out of the conference room, the door shutting softly behind him.
"I'm so sorry you had to see that," Karin said quietly. Her eyes glanced over all of us before she met Kakashi's "Thank you."
"We're proud to have you, Karin."
She nodded with a forced half smile and left the conference room. Naruto sagged in his seat, and we shared a look. It had been a month since he'd told me he was thinking about my relationship with Temari. One. Fucking. Month. I was trying—God, I was trying—but my patience was short, my dick constantly hard, and my life otherwise perfect. Living with Temari was everything I'd never known I was missing. She made my house warm in a way that made me anxious to get home at night. The boys were thriving, and for the first time in my life, I saw a future I wanted. A future I would fight for. But that future also had to include Naruto, not only as my best friend but as Temari's brother, and he was basically just waiting for me to fuck everything up. Not that I hadn't in the past. He'd had a front-row seat to every girl I'd walked out on, every relationship I'd quit the minute some chick went all doe-eyed. What he didn't understand was that none of those women were Temari.
Temari was impossible to walk away from.
"Now that's settled" Kakashi said, "everyone but Neji out. I'm going to hack us up into three squads."
A grin spread across my face as we shuffled out. Neji would be an amazing assistant superintendent.
We headed for the kitchen.
"Kakashi would be an idiot not to choose Neji," Sasuke said as he dug into the refrigerator.
"Agreed. He's the best of us. Most levelheaded too." Naruto motioned toward me across the island. "You going to share?"
"You going to let me date Temari?" I held out the second coffee cake muffin Temari had sent me in with this morning.
"Nope."
I scoffed and took a giant bite out of the second muffin, then set it next to the already chewed-on first. He snorted as I swallowed.
"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm already married to her, huh?"
He shook his head, but there was a hint of a smile that he might be finally coming around. Good thing too, because I was on the verge of telling him to fuck off and letting him deal with the fallout. If I had any family outside Sasuke and Naruto, I might have already done it.
Kakashi called us all to the great room after about an hour, and we gathered on the large, leather couches.
"Listen up. We're going to run three squads. To tell you the breakdown, I'd like to introduce you to your new assistant superintendent: Neji Hyuga. This guy has a decade of wildland firefighting under his belt, eight of those being a hotshot. He's also a scary motherfucker, so I figure maybe you'd listen to him."
A raucous round of applause went up, and Neji just nodded and made a motion for us to settle down.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm honored. I won't let you down. All that." Then he launched into the breakdown. Yamato McCoy and Ward Hammond—both transfers from California—would be our senior firefighters, and good guys from what time I'd spent with both. Applause all around. Then Neji announced the three squad leaders. "Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, and Shika Nara."
A distant hum filled my head. I'd been a firefighter ever since I graduated college five years ago. I knew fire. I knew how and when to set the smaller ones to put the larger ones out. But I'd never been a leader. As they broke down the names on each squad, the buzzing only grew louder. I would be responsible for five other people's lives. Eight if I counted Temari, Denki, and Hoki—the little family we'd glued together through paperwork and good intentions.
Hell, I'd been a dad for two months and both the kids were still alive.
I could do this.
I would do this.
"Nara."
Five days later, I answered the phone with a groggy voice and a clouded head.
"It's Kakashi. We've got a fire near Pagosa. You've got an hour... it's go time."
I listened carefully for the details.
"Yeah, I'll be there," I said when he finished.
Usually this was when the adrenaline hit, the rush to get out there and get going. Instead, a deeper, heavier feeling settled in my stomach. I hung up, clicked on the light, and swung my feet over the side of my bed as the clock blinked 4:25 a.m. at me. Then I rolled my neck and scrolled through my contacts, calling each of my squad members to report.
Six minutes after I started, they were all notified. At least they'd all answered, so I wouldn't have to track them down. I showered quickly, brushed my teeth, and got dressed within fifteen minutes. Then I knocked softly on Temari's door, knowing she was dead asleep, and opened the door. The light fell across where she slept, curled on her side. I hated that she slept in here, that I couldn't wrap my arms around her while we drifted off, couldn't wake up with her skin all warm under my hands—which was exactly why we didn't sleep in the same room.
My self-control was great, but I wasn't a saint.
"Temari?" I asked softly, walking over to the bed. I crouched down so we were eye level and stroked my fingers across her soft cheek. Her hair was pulled off her face in a loose bun, exposing the line of her neck. My chest clenched. God, she was beautiful. "Temari, baby. Wake up."
"Hmmmm?" The skin between her eyebrows puckered, and then her eyelashes fluttered open, as she blinked herself awake. "Shika?" She leaned into my touch.
"Hey, we have a fire down south in Pagosa. We're getting called in."
She shot up, letting the covers fall to her waist. Thank you, merciful Lord, she slept in a tank top.
"Right now?"
"I have to be in within the hour. I'm just going to check my gear over and then take off. You sleep." I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll let you know when I'm headed back."
"Oh, the hell with that," she said, throwing the covers off completely. "Go get your gear together, I'll get coffee going. I'm not going back to sleep, you idiot. Not if you're leaving for a fire."
I smiled like a besotted fool. Because I was one. Especially if I was thinking the word besotted.
"Stop smiling and get your gear." She swatted my stomach. "Go."
I headed downstairs into the storage room I'd had built for this reason alone. Then I ripped apart my pack, assuring I had everything I needed. If I lived alone, I would have trusted it was still loaded from when I'd stocked it, but living with kids taught me they got into things you never thought about.
Like your line pack.
I repacked, threw in an extra cell phone battery, and locked the room on my way out. Temari shouldn't have to worry about the boys getting into that stuff while I was gone.
A gnawing ache sawed its way through my chest as I walked toward the kitchen. I was going to miss them—not just Temari, but the boys too. The smell of coffee greeted me as I put my line pack on the counter. Temari was up on the counter in her tank top and boxer shorts, reaching for one of the travel mugs I'd put on the top shelf.
"Be careful." I moved to stand behind her just in case.
"Give me one second" she drew out the words as she reached up on her tiptoes "Got it!" She lifted the black mug like a trophy and turned neatly on the smooth counter.
My gaze traveled up the smooth, toned length of her legs, but my hands skipped right to her hips and gripped the curves, flexing slightly. She smiled down at me, and I tried to memorize everything about the moment as I brought her down from the counter.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked as her toes touched the hardwood.
"This is the moment I'm going to think about while I'm on the line."
I let my hands rise to her waist, tracing the slope lightly.
"Not when you kissed me in the truck?" Her smile widened.
"That too" I admitted "But this is better. You're still all flushed from bed, pj's and everything, and there's a little line right here"—I ran my finger down the mark that ran across her cheekbone—"from your pillow."
"So basically, I'm a mess?"
"Never a mess, and only someone who lives with you gets to see you like this."
She smiled, stepped out of my arms, and headed for the Keurig. A second later, the familiar hiss filled the kitchen.
"Give that just a second," she said, then sipped her own coffee as she walked over to the island. "Okay, I know you like to carry the hydration pouch, so I grabbed you the travel packs of Gatorade for your line pack. There's a few extra blueberry protein bars, energy bites, and that gel stuff you and Naruto swear by."
She handed me a Ziploc bag, and I stared at the contents, trying to find words.
"What's wrong? You like the blueberry ones, right? They didn't have lemon, and I know you like those too, but I had to order them. I was hoping they'd get here before you guys got called out, but... Shika? What's wrong?"
"You packed for me," I said to the bag.
"Well, just a few things I found while I was out shopping. I saw that you didn't have anything in your prep room. We should really set something up so it's easy to grab and go on mornings like this."
She said we.
"Hey." Her hands covered mine, and I finally looked at her. Those wide, turquoise eyes stared up at me with amusement and a touch of concern. "You okay?"
"You packed for me," I repeated. "No one has ever packed for me."
"Benefits of having a wife." She shrugged. "It's no big deal."
But it was.
No one had taken care of me in that way since Mom walked out. Grams had been busy teaching me to be self-sufficient, and Dad had just been plain busy. And yet, here was Temari, up at four thirty in the morning, making coffee and handing me snacks.
Damn, that feeling was back in my chest, light and heavy all at the same time, sweet and sharp like a cliché.
"Is this the same pack you give Naruto?"
"Nope." Her forehead puckered. "I've actually never seen him off for a fire. I haven't seen anyone off since…since Dad."
"Well, it's a really big deal. Thank you." My voice sounded like I'd been smoking for the last fourteen years straight.
"You're welcome. How big is it?" She crossed her arms around her ribs. "It's up at five thousand acres. Pushed through a chunk last night."
She flinched and I cursed inwardly. This moment right here was exactly why Naruto didn't want me with her.
"Look, Temari, I've never done this before... left someone at home. I don't know how much you want to know, or what info you'd rather me leave out so you can sleep while I'm gone. I don't know the rules, but I'll play by any you want to make."
"No rules" she answered, her chin rising "I want it all. It might be tough, but I'd rather know. Don't ever keep me in the dark."
"I can do that. We're only Type Two, so you know we'll be mostly doing mop-up and that kind of stuff. Don't worry too much."
Any position near a fire was dangerous, and she knew that, but hopefully downplaying it would make her feel better anyway.
"Of course I'll worry," she whispered.
I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close, and rested my chin on the top of her head.
"I know. I'll keep my phone on as much as possible, so you can text. And make sure the boys know I just went to work for a few days. I don't want them thinking I ghosted them."
"They'd never think that." Her fingers scrunched in the thick material of my fleece at my back. "You're so good to them, and they adore you. I'll make sure they know you'll be back."
I held her a few seconds longer and then let go, knowing it was time.
"Walk me out?" I slung my line pack over my shoulder and grabbed my duffel bag.
"Of course."
She slipped my travel mug into the side pocket of my pack, took my free hand, and walked with me through the mudroom to the garage.
"You have everything you need?" I asked, wondering if the boys had left anything they deemed vital in my truck. "I'm supposed to ask you that," she teased.
I took one look at her and smiled.
"Yeah, I think I do." Then I kissed her, soft and lingering, wishing I could bottle the feeling she gave me for the days ahead. "See you later, Mrs. Nara."
Her smile faded, but she nodded.
"See you later, Mr. Nara."
I tore myself away and walked down the few steps to the garage, pausing to hit the opener before throwing my bags in the back of the cab.
It was just a fire, right? Just like every other time I'd packed my bags and taken off with a crew. Had Dad felt differently on those two fires? The one he was on when Mom left? Did he smile at her in their kitchen and kiss her goodbye? Had he known when he left that she wouldn't be there when he got back? That she'd leave me with Grams at the diner and never come home? Had he felt differently the day he died?
The cool pre-dawn air flooded the room through the open garage door, and I saw Temari shiver on the steps.
"Get back in there and get warm," I suggested, but I knew she wouldn't budge. She was the girl who stayed through send-off, the one with open arms when you came home. She wouldn't leave like my mom. "Try not to worry, really."
Her mouth tensed, and before I knew it, she was across the garage floor and in my arms. I lifted her easily, my hands curving under her perfectly shaped ass, and her ankles locked around my back. Then her mouth was on mine in a hard, closed-lip kiss, which I eagerly returned.
"I'm always going to worry," she said with another kiss before grasping my face in her hands and looking me in the eyes. "I've been in love with you since I was eight years old, Shikamaru, and worried about you just as long. That's not going to change."
The world stopped turning. My breath—my very heartbeat—stilled as I felt some piece I hadn't realized I was missing click into place.
"Which part?" I managed to ask. "The worrying?"
"Neither," she promised. "I love you."
When my words failed, I kissed her, turning so her back was against the truck, careful to make sure I didn't jab a door handle into her spine. Then I let go of all reason and gave everything to Temari. My tongue sank into her mouth, and I groaned. I'd never take this for granted—her taste in my mouth, her curves in my hands. Her hands cradled the back of my head as the kiss went on, neither of us willing to pull away and say our goodbyes.
I poured all of my messy, unlabeled emotions into the caress of my lips, the stroke of my tongue, hoping she understood what I didn't know how to say. Praying she knew what she meant to me when I couldn't put words to it.
Finally, we pulled apart with a softer, shorter kiss, and I rested my forehead against hers. It was past time to get going.
"Just tell me you'll come home. Don't promise me, I know you can't. Just tell me, and I'll believe you," she pleaded.
A streak of panic went through her eyes, and my stomach sank with the knowledge that the last person she'd sent away to a fire hadn't come back.
"I promise"—I emphasized the word—"that I will do everything in my power to come home to you, Temari. Believe that." As the words escaped, I felt their truth. There was nothing I wouldn't do to feel her in my arms again, even if that was defy death. "I promise, do you understand?"
"You never promise." Her brow furrowed.
She was right. I didn't. Not since our dads died and I realized it didn't matter what your best intentions were, fate was a bitch who did whatever she wanted.
"I've never had a reason to, never had you waiting."
Please wait. Please don't let me come home to an empty house.
"I'll be waiting," she promised, as if she'd known how badly I needed the words.
I kissed her once more and carried her back to the steps so her bare feet wouldn't freeze on the concrete.
"Take care of our boys."
"Take care of yourself."
I somehow managed to drive away.
She loved me.
Temari Evelyn Uzumaki—Nara—loved me.
I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't like I'd done anything to deserve it. Hell, I'd kissed her, then all but ignored her for almost seven years. She was everything I wasn't but always wanted to be—open, emotionally honest, brave, and so damn trusting. And she'd just trusted me with her heart. I knew it was because I was leaving for a fire, that she had the now-or-never mentality due to our past, but I was keeping it all the same. She couldn't take it back now.
That feeling in my chest hadn't just returned, it overwhelmed my senses, screaming at me with a ferocious need to be acknowledged—declared.
Oh shit.
For the first time, I wondered if I was in love with Temari.