Neither the story nor the characters belong to me.

Chapter Sixtheen

TEMARI

"Hey, babe, how are things at home?"

Shika's voice came through the phone, and I sagged against the wall in relief. He'd been gone for almost a week and a half, called away to another fire—this one in Utah—as soon as the first one was over. In the scheme of things, nine days was nothing, but for some reason the seconds had slowed down to tiny bites of infinity as I waited for him.

"It's so good to hear your voice," I told him. "We're good here. Boys are asleep. They miss you."

"I miss them too. I miss you most of all." His voice softened. "I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to do anything but text. The service is shit out in the middle of nowhere."

"I know, don't worry. Are you coming home soon?"

Please say yes.

He sighed, and my heart dropped.

"I wish. This one is wrapping up, but they're talking about sending us up north next. I'll let you know as soon as I do." He sounded just as weary as I felt.

"I understand," and I did. At least my brain did. My heart was stomping her foot like a pissed-off preschooler. "I didn't want to talk about this over the phone, but..."

"Everything okay?" he interrupted, his voice sharpening.

"We're okay. Shizune called yesterday, and there's still no sign of Nolan. We've had the boys for two and a half months, and she's worried about concurrent planning. That means they want us to declare if we're pre-adoptive. If we're not interested in adopting them, they'll have to start thinking about moving them to a family who is, so that the boys are settled for every possible outcome, just in case they never find Nolan." My throat constricted and a riot of emotions assaulted me, just like they had when Shizune had brought up the topic.

I loved the boys. I loved Shika. I loved our life exactly how it was right now... well, fine, maybe not now, but the way it was when he was home. Could I see that lasting forever? Absolutely. But would Shika? Logically, none of it made sense, but my heart screamed at me to grab this family we'd somehow built and hold it together.

Seconds ticked by. The sound of his breathing was the only reason I knew he was still on the line.

"Shika?"

"What do you want to do?" he asked slowly.

"Nope. I'm not going first. You'll just change your answer to match what you think I want. Let's just sit on it and talk when you get back? We have time."

It was a huge decision. It meant permanently tying ourselves to a deal that had been struck with only temporary in mind. It was life, and love, and parenting, and implied things about our marriage that we hadn't talked about. Hell, we'd been married for over two months and still hadn't slept together.

How was that for ridiculous?

"Okay. Let's think about it, then both write down our thoughts and read each other's at the same time so no one goes first," Shika suggested.

"I like that." Then we'd both know the truth of how the other felt.

"Good" The sound of the crew calling out to Shika came across the phone. "Shit. Baby, I have to go. Take care of our boys."

"Take care of you. Shika?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful. I love you." I said it just because I could, because it felt so good to finally give myself permission. Because I knew he wasn't ready to love me, but he desperately needed me to love him. Because saying it made me feel stronger, invincible. Then I hung up before he felt pressured to say anything back.

Because I didn't need him to love me back. Not yet, at least. Not yet.

A week later, I signed the last payroll check for the period and glanced at the clock. Megan had taken my Tuesday class we shared so I could get admin work done, but I'd already finished and it was only 9:30 a.m.

I'd also sent an email to my building manager asking about subletting my apartment. We weren't a hot tourist destination, but the ski towns around us were, so maybe my space would be a good moneymaker on Airbnb or something.

"What do I do now?" I muttered to myself, opening my planner to see what else was on my to-do list.

"Take the day off," Clara answered, leaning far enough back from her receptionist desk to look into my office.

"Your hearing is frightening."

"I'm serious. Take the day off. Go home and relax. Enjoy some kid-free time. Do all the things moms are dying to do but can't get done with little ones underfoot."

"You mean laundry? Cleaning?"

Man, the thought of a perfectly mopped kitchen floor sounded fantastic. There was so much I couldn't get done lately, or the minute it did get done, I had all of five minutes to enjoy it before the boys wrecked something and we were onto the next mess. Cleaning while they were home felt like brushing my teeth while eating Oreos—completely pointless.

"Whatever you want. Just get some sanity. I'll lock up this afternoon." She gave me the stare that had no-doubt intimidated her sons, who were both older than I was.

"Okay," I agreed. "But if anything changes, call me."

"Off you go."

I grabbed my cell phone off the charger, shoving it into my purse as Clara shooed me out the door.

By the time I pulled into our driveway, I'd made a mental list of everything I could get done today if I worked quickly. Laundry, sweeping, mopping…the house was going to be clean just in case Shika made it home, instead of the current toddler-bomb mess our living room had become. Heck, maybe there was even time to get some grocery shopping done all on my own. I hit the garage door opener...

Shika.

His truck was parked on his side of the garage. I blinked. He was home?

I pulled my car in and killed the ignition, rifling through my purse to find my phone. I had a text alert.

Shit, my phone is on silent.

Shika: Just getting home. I didn't want to tell you in case plans changed, but we're here. I'll get cleaned up and bring you lunch. I've missed you.

He was home. My heart flew as I jumped out of my car, barely remembering to shut the door before I ran into the house, reading the second text message he'd sent a few minutes after the first.

Shika: And don't believe anything Naruto says. I was perfectly safe and it's just a scratch.

Wait... What?

"Shika!" I called his name in the mudroom, the kitchen, and the living room. No answer.

Was he hurt? Panic surged through my veins. I needed to see him now. The urge clawed at me, raking giant furrows through the calm facade I'd maintained the last ten days. I needed to feel his heartbeat, to know he'd made it through unharmed, needed to see this scratch. After the nightmares I'd had every night he'd been gone, my very soul demanded it.

I kicked off my heels and ran up the stairs, calling his name again. His bedroom door was open, and I knocked on the doorframe as I pushed it open a little farther.

"Shika?"

No answer. I stuck my head just inside his room.

"It's just me. I got your..."

Oh. God. Yes.

My jaw slackened as I caught sight of him through the open bathroom door, standing in the shower. The glass enclosure gave me the best possible view of his muscled back as he leaned forward against the stone wall, bracing himself with his hands as water ran down his head, neck, back, and sculpted ass from the rain-style showerhead above him.

He was so beautiful, so perfectly carved.

Heat overtook the panic, warming every inch of my skin.

I meant to walk out, to give him some time alone to finish his shower, but instead of backing away, my feet carried me forward.

My toes crossed the threshold of his huge bathroom by the time he turned around, running his hands over his hair.

"Hey, I'm home" I managed in a strangled voice, immediately jerking my eyes to the ceiling "I called your name, but you didn't answer, and I just wanted to see you. You know. Make sure you weren't dead or anything."

I counted to five, and when he still didn't respond, I glanced quickly at his face, only his face, and found him staring at me. My breath caught at the longing in his eyes, the need and heat that echoed my own. It felt like years since I'd seen him, instead of sixteen days. For charged seconds, we stood there, simply breathing the same steamed air, the tension building until I knew something was going to break if it released. I just prayed it wasn't my heart. And if it was, then so be it. I was already in too deep to get out unscathed. "Temari." He said my name like I was deliverance from whatever hell he'd been in, elevating my pulse to the quickened thrum of a hummingbird's wings.

His eyes darkened as I walked toward him, never once leaving mine as I opened the shower door and stepped inside, closing the glass door behind me.

"You're okay?"

I ran my hands over his beard-stubbled cheeks, uncaring that the steady stream of warm water quickly soaked my favorite blue shirt dress.

He sighed, leaning into my touch.

"I am now."

"I missed you." My confession came as a whisper I barely heard above the sound of rushing water.

A primal, almost predatory gleam came into his eyes as he looked down at my lips. Then my back was against the stone wall and Shika's mouth was on mine. He tasted like his spearmint toothpaste, the cool flavor contrasting with the sinful heat of his tongue as it rubbed against mine. My hands made their way up his arms, skimming the ridges of his muscles until I reached his shoulders. Water warmed my hands as they laced behind his neck.

He tilted his head slightly to kiss me deeper, and I surrendered my every thought to Shika, his mouth, his hands, the hard planes of his stomach where our bodies met.

I let my fingers roam down the sides of his ribs, and he hissed.

Jerking my mouth from his, I looked down to see the stripe of an angry, raw wound that stretched from just beneath his armpit to a few inches above his waist. Purple and blue bruises smudged the edges of the injury, and most of his skin had been scraped away—but not burned.

"Shika, what..." My fingers hovered over the abused ribs.

"It's nothing," he interrupted, brushing his lips over mine.

"It's not nothing!"

"I'm fine, Temari. It's a scratch." The corners of his mouth lifted into a smile.

"Does it hurt?"

What a stupid question. Of course it hurt.

"Only when you stop touching me." He took my hands and put them back on his body, just below the wound.

"Shika," I whispered. "You're hurt."

"It's nothing to worry about." He kissed me, and I melted. His fingers covered mine, tracing the thick layers of muscle that framed his abs. He was hard everywhere, cut in roped lines from his hours at the gym, his skin slick and soft to the touch. "See? I'm perfectly fine."

He was home.

He was mine.

My hands abandoned his as I stroked the unmarred skin of his hips, the contours of his lower back as he kissed me senseless.

"I missed you every single day." Shika tugged my lower lip with his teeth.

I palmed his ass. He sucked in a breath, grasping both my hands in his and pinning them above my head.

"Behave," he begged against my jaw. "I'm hanging by a thread here, Temari."

"So let go."

He attacked my neck with open-mouthed kisses, sucking lightly on the areas he knew would get me squirming. One of his hands ran down my arm to my ribs, skirting the edges of my breast to lightly squeeze my waist.

"Shika." I moaned when that hand slid under the drenched fabric of my dress to run up my thigh.

His mouth found mine again as he freed my wrists, then tugged at the belt tied at my waist. His kiss had an edge to it I'd never felt before, not just hungry but ravenous.

For me.

I pushed my belly forward, feeling him hard and heavy where he rose against me. Then I kissed him harder, tangling my fingers in his hair as that familiar tension sparked in my core. His fingers were amazingly quick with the water-slicked buttons of my dress, freeing them one by one until the fabric fell open, revealing the matching white lace bra and panty set I'd thankfully chosen this morning. The starved look in his eyes as he gazed down the length of my body was worth every single penny I'd spent on the lingerie. His breathing accelerated, and I shrugged my shoulders, letting the heavy fabric of my dress fall down my arms. It dropped to the stone floor with every single one of my inhibitions.

He retreated a step, rolling his head back so the shower drenched his hair as his chest shuddered with an indrawn breath. Then he opened his eyes, and I saw that cool, incredibly sexy determination he applied to almost every facet of his life replace the battle that usually raged when he looked at me. His muscled arms wrapped around me, and his hands cradled my ass as he lifted me to eye level.

"Say yes," he growled, his gaze clashing with mine.

It was a question phrased as an order, and I knew if I said no, he'd put me down and walk away without a single complaint. I also knew there was no way I was ever going to say no. I'd been saying yes since I was eighteen... he'd just been too stubborn to hear it.

Secure in his hold, I reached behind me and opened the clasp on my bra, then took it off as his eyes seemed to smolder, his jaw flexing.

"Temari," he warned as I leaned closer, whimpering in relief as my hardened nipples met the slick skin of his chest.

I kissed my way up his neck, grazing my lips across the sensitive spot just behind his flexing jaw muscle before I ran my tongue along the shell of his ear.

"Yes, Shikamaru. I'm saying yes."

He adjusted his grip on my ass, and I locked my ankles around his waist, careful not to touch his injury and all too aware of his erection nudging the lace between my thighs. God, I couldn't wait to actually look at him, to stroke him with my hands, my mouth, feel him inside me. My inner muscles clenched in agreement.

He slammed down the shower's handle, stopping the flow of water, then clasped the back of my neck and kissed me. It wasn't just the wild caress we'd shared before but pure, slow, blatant seduction. Water dripped from my hair and down my back in cool streams as he carried me out of the bathroom, drugging me with expert kisses at every step.

He lowered us to his bed, and I gasped as the silk of his sheets rubbed against my skin with sensuous friction.

"You might ruin your sheets," I warned him as he rose above me. "Cold water, remember?"

"Don't care as long as I get to ruin you," he answered, dragging my lace panties down my legs until he tossed them over his shoulder.

I knew he would ruin me, I'd always known. After he kissed me that night, I'd compared every kiss to his. Every mouth. Every tongue. Every smile.

"Fuck. Temari," he groaned as he looked his fill.

I left my hands at my sides, ignoring the instinct to cover my imperfections in front of this physically exquisite man.

This was Shika, and I didn't need to hide.

His fingers trailed from my throat, down the space between my breasts, across the hollow just under my rib cage, and stretched to nearly span my waist. I'd never been a tall girl, always the shortest in the room, and Shika made me feel not just petite but delicate under his hands.

"If you only knew how many times I fantasized about this," he admitted as he caressed my thighs. "Even when I shouldn't have. God, you were just sixteen the first time I wanted to kiss you. And after I finally did, I'd lay in bed and imagine you like this, all smooth skin and curves."

"And does the reality measure up?"

His eyebrow rose at the question, and a slow smile spread across his beautiful face.

"Surpasses every dream. You are fucking gorgeous, Temari."

My heart skipped, and I shifted my thighs wider when he nudged them apart so he could kneel between them. My skin felt so hot that I wondered how long it would take for those droplets of water to sizzle and steam right off me.

A drop trickled down Shika's chest, and I followed it with my eyes, losing my breath when I took in the full sight of him kneeling naked before me. The muscles of his abs flexed and rippled as he moved, and the hard, full length of him rising toward those abs sent my muscles clenching again.

"How does the reality measure up?" he asked with a smirk, catching me ogling him.

"You're perfect." I sat up and teased the lines of his stomach.

"Only in your eyes." I brushed the head of his erection, and he hissed.

"Later," he promised, gripping my ass and tipping me back to the bed. "I've been imagining your taste for seven fucking years."

He slid down the bed and lifted my hips simultaneously. I moaned when he licked a long line up my center. My hands fisted in his hair when he flicked at my clit, the tension in my belly coiling tighter. And as he learned every curve and fold of me with his tongue, I lost all sense of reason. It felt so damn good, the pleasure swamping me, filling my limbs, building higher and higher.

"Sweet," he mumbled against my core, sending vibrations right to that spot that was ready to unravel.

He thrust his tongue inside me, and my back arched as I cried out. He pinned my hips with his hands, holding me still while he took his time devouring me, teasing me one second and pushing me to the edge in the next.

"God, Shika!" I begged as he mercilessly drove me insane.

"What do you need, love?"

The endearment nearly sent me into full-on orgasm.

"More."

"Like this?" He slipped one finger inside me, rubbing along my walls until he found the spot that sent me into a full arch.

"Yes!"

He added another finger and licked my clit, dragging his tongue roughly along the sensitive nerves. I felt like a piece of glass cracking at the edges, ready to shatter.

Then he sucked with his lips and stroked with his fingers, and I broke apart, screaming his name as I came. Wave after wave took me under, and Shika stroked me through the aftershocks, pushing me higher with a press of his tongue that skyrocketed me into another orgasm that suspended me in that sharp, sweet pleasure even longer.

My thighs quivered as he finally retreated, licking his lower lip in a way that almost sent me into a third.

"Holy. Shit," I said through gasping breaths. "Your tongue is magical."

He grinned, sliding up my body to kiss me deep. I tasted myself and moaned at the eroticism of it, raising my knees so his erection brushed my entrance.

Then he was the one moaning as his tip sank into me a fraction of an inch.

"You sure?" he asked, bracing himself on his elbows above me. His eyes searched mine for any sign that I didn't want him, but there was none to find.

"I'm sure," I promised.

He pushed another inch and slammed his eyes shut.

"You feel so. Fucking. Good." Then his eyes popped open. "Condom."

I nodded in agreement, and he pulled out, leaning to the side to open the bedside table drawer. Not that I'd object to taking him bare, it would be a first for me, but I wasn't going to saddle him with the potential of a pregnancy when our future wasn't exactly decided. He ripped open the condom and rolled it over his erection, then settled back between my thighs. Then he cupped the back of my head and kissed me, his tongue swirling around mine as he slowly pushed into me, stretching my orgasm-sensitive walls with every inch he claimed.

"Temari." He sighed once he was completely inside me.

He rested his forehead on mine for a moment, until I shifted my hips beneath him, letting him know I was fine.

"Fuck. Hold still. Just a second."

I swirled my hips and he groaned, the sound long and low. Knowing I could push him to the edge of his control was intoxicating, and I was more than drunk on him.

"Damn it. I'm serious. I've wanted this for too long for it to be over in twenty seconds, which, if you continue that, is about what you're going to get."

He squeezed my hip, his fingers digging into my skin for a second before he released me, as if he was scared of hurting me.

"Okay," I agreed, running my hands through his hair before I rocked under him, forcing him out an inch only to bring him back in.

"I want more." The muscles on his face strained as he fought for control. "More later," I promised, realizing what was holding him back. "This isn't the only time for us, Shika. You can have me any way you want, as many times as you want later. But God, please start now."

The muscles in his shoulders relaxed, and so did the tension in his jaw.

"Any way I want," he repeated.

I kissed him in response, and he finally started moving inside me. His slow, sure thrusts sent pleasure through my entire body like waves on the beach, receding only to come back again and again. It wasn't long before I had my ankles wrapped around his hips, meeting his powerful thrusts. Our breaths mingled between kisses and groans as he quickened the pace, his hips swinging into mine with such delicious pressure I could almost taste my approaching orgasm.

As if he'd sensed the shift, the tensing of my thighs, he slid one hand down my belly to rub his thumb over my clit in light circles.

"Right there," he whispered against my mouth. "I want to feel you come around me."

One press of that thumb and a crazy-deep thrust, and I did. My body locked, squeezing down on him as the edges of my vision blurred, the pleasure blinding me as I came again.

"I love you," I whispered as I crested.

He watched me with wide eyes and held me tighter. Then he let go of his carefully held restraint, thrusting faster and harder until he shouted my name into my neck. I held him close, stroking my hands down his spine as he pulsed within me, his breathing ragged.

After a few seconds, he rolled us to the side, holding me with one hand spanning my back and the other at the base of my head. Then he looked at me with such tender eyes that my heart ached.

"I was wrong," he said softly.

"What about?"

It took supreme concentration not to tense in his arms, not to question what we had done, or how I stacked up against the other women he'd taken to bed.

He cupped my cheek, brushing his thumb across my skin.

"You're the one who's ruined me."