A/N: Did a random prompt generator, and whoops, got a little inspired!

I hope you enjoy :) As with most of my one-shots, I will say I'm interested in extending this one out into a multichapter, however it might be a bit. I have a 67 page document of ideas and little snippets of stories for this compilation, so there's a bit for me to wade through before continuing something specific, unless it jumps out at me :)

This is my Day Two for NaNoWriMo. I'm attempting to do a cavity one-shot per day, to get to 50,000 words, so I'm hoping to stay on target of 1,666 words or more per day.

If you want to be buddies on the NaNoWriMo website, you can look up Ikuni Hattori (nanowrimo dot org ) and keep pace with me! You can watch me burn out in real time! :D

Anyway, enjoy this fic, and stay tuned for more.

Summary: Black Widow Toothiana has married her fourth husband in ten years. She's been attempting to kill him off in order to inherit his sizable fortune, but he just. Won't. DIE! (Cavity, Human!AU, AddamsFamily!AU if you squint)

Words: 2001

Prompts:

(trope) black widow (person - usually a woman - repeatedly killing off their spouses)

"Love Kills"

Grinning to herself as she carefully applied her makeup in the mirror, Toothiana Black nee Flight tuned in to the radio as a breaking news story interrupted the morning talk show program that she's listened to for the past decade. She was a woman of habits, after all. What better way to structure one's life than to have it be predictable?

"Another victim has been found of the Boogeyman, with his trademark of a rearing horse branded into his victim's flesh appearing on the forehead of his victim. Twenty three year old Vanessa Rogers was last seen last month leaving the bar alone, but she never made it home. Sometime between then and three am, disaster struck, and her body was pulled from the river the following morning. Once the coroner's finished their investigation, it was discovered that her body had been abused before being thrown into the river. The top suspects in this case have evaded all efforts of the police, however the Boogeyman seemed to take offense to their crime. He seemed to take matters into his own hands, for the body that appeared today is the second of the three suspects that the Boogeyman has found. Local authorities are urging the last suspect to turn himself in for protection before he finds himself following the same path as his cohorts. Local authorities are unsure as to what the Boogeyman's real motives are, and whether he picks his victims randomly or if he has a pattern. This is the nineteenth body with his branding found in the past three years. Nothing seems to be tying any of his past victims togeth-"

"You still listen to this drivel?" her husband teased as he appeared in the doorway of their walk-in, buttoning up his cuffs as he got ready for work.

"For the record, this isn't one of my murder podcasts that I have on nearly twenty four seven," Tooth replied with a grin. "I can't help it! I find everything about death and murder fascinating!" As was customary in their three months of marriage, Pitch Black stepped forward to kiss his wife on the mouth before leaving the room for work, leaving her to finish putting on her lipstick afterwards. It wouldn't do to smudge her efforts and give her a need to reapply it, after all..

"See you after work tonight, darling. Don't work too hard," he added with a wink, touching upon the inside joke between them that she had only married him for his money and to be a stay at home wife.. He licked his lips. "New lipgloss?" He asked, tasting the foreign flavor. "I liked your other one better."

"That's good to know. It was only a one use sample, so I'll take it off my list, darling," Tooth replied with a coy smile. He smiled affectionately back at her before turning to finish getting ready. All too soon, he was calling out to her from their bedroom door.

"See you soon, darling!" She called out after him. She continued to apply her makeup as the news devolved back into the morning talk show, waiting to see her husband's car peel out of the driveway to get to the office. Once his lamborghini finally left the property, Tooth carefully set down her makeup brush and peeled the wax covering from her lips that protected her from the new lip gloss she had used that morning. She wiped her mouth with a makeup remover wipe to remove the excess lipgloss and wrapped everything up to be burned later. She had to be careful to remove all traces of evidence. She wasn't on her fourth rich husband by being careless.

The poison that was in the lipgloss was a personal concoction of hers. There were high levels of lead in it, amongst a cocktail of other powders, so it was dangerous for her to apply this method, but the results were irrefutable. She may get sick with residual lead poisoning, but she was willing to spend the life insurance money to go to a seaside village to 'get better' in order to off her husband before he could trade her in.

And she almost regretted poisoning her current husband. They had only been married for three months already and what a whirlwind it has been!

Their entire engagement had been short, and Tooth had admittedly not even entertained the thought of Pitch Black, CEO of a psychosis drug firm, when she had been aiming for an oil baron at the ritzy party she had snagged an invite to. Upon meeting her fourth husband, her third had been in the ground for only 7 months, shorter than what she usually aimed for, but still longer than other gold diggers in the area. Pitch had approached her first, giving his condolences, and the rest was history. He proposed months later, and five months after that, they married.

So here she was a year and six months after burying her previous husband, trying to add to her body count. She never wanted to kill her first husband, but when he pushed her aside for a newer, younger model, she couldn't help herself and her jealousy. And she thought she had found happiness with her second husband, but his eyes began to wander more and more to his secretary and she couldn't take the chance he would stray like her first husband had. By her third husband, she had gotten addicted to the dating, the ensnaring, the killing, and the payout at the end. Her timeline was highly exaggerated at the moment, again they had only been married for three months, and he hadn't given any indication of wanting to cheat, but she couldn't take that chance. Normally a marriage would last three or four years before she got the urge to kill.

"He isn't even that bad," she muttered to herself as she brushed out her chestnut hair. The brush snagged on a particularly tough knot and as she tugged, she felt a pain in her scalp where she jabbed the brush in. Confused, she pulled the brush back and inspected it, finding a long thin needle amongst the bristles. "What the–" she murmured before plucking the needle out. There was a bit of blood on the end of the tip, where she had jabbed herself, and she scowled at the implication.

Tooth added the needle to the pile of scraps that needed to be burned, and she no longer felt bad for attempting to kill her current husband. He was the only one with access to this brush besides her. Was he trying to set her up?

The poisoning should take effect soon. Standing up, Tooth dressed for the day, gathered up the items needing to be burned, and headed outside to the fire pit. The staff knew not to disturb the mistress of the manor when she was on the patio unless it was an emergency, and so she was able to dispose of the evidence without interruption or an audience.

The remainder of the day also passed without interruption, which she found odd, but perhaps the poison was taking longer on his system than she had anticipated. She had expected a call from his office about how her husband suddenly had a seizure that he couldn't be revived from. But perhaps this mixture hadn't been the best for him. After all, this mixture had been made for her first husband, who was stick thin. Pitch was broader of shoulders, and taller too, than her first husband. Perhaps his metabolism was too good for it to affect him right awa–

Her blood chilled as she heard the garage door open and a car pull in.

What was he doing home?! He was supposed to be dead!

Plastering a smile on her face, Tooth greeted her husband with a kiss, like every day.

"How was work?" she asked automatically, and they fell into the same after work routine like they'd been in since they came back from their honeymoon in the Bahamas.

"Oh, absolutely dreadful, my dear. Had a bout of food poisoning, but it cleared up by lunchtime, thankfully!" he replied, leaving his suit jacket on the hook in the foyer, leaving it for the housekeeper to iron and hang back up into his closet later that night. Pitch approached his wife and greeted her with a kiss. "How was your day today, darling? Listen to any new murder podcasts?" he asked curiously.

"No new ones, just the usual," Tooth replied cheerfully before they both settled in to eat dinner.

Later that night, after Pitch had ensconced himself in his study with some work he brought home, Tooth hid herself away in the garage, frantically going through the workbench for something more harmful than her poison concoction. It had been almost six years since she had first made it. Perhaps it lost its efficiency and she needed something more potent.

Her hand brushed something cold, and Tooth pulled it out from underneath the jumble of tools and other items left spread amongst the workbench that her husband never used. She pulled out a long metal pole with a wide, flat end and stared at it incredulously.

It was a branding iron, with a horse rearing up on its hind legs.

Her mind immediately flashed back to the news report from this morning, and with horror she wondered if she knew her current husband at all. Tossing the iron back onto the workbench as if it had bit her, she backed away from it, a hand clasped tightly to her mouth to stop herself from screaming.

Arms suddenly wrapped around her from behind and she jumped, a small shriek falling from her lips. Pitch's face appeared next to hers as he rested his chin on her shoulder, his hug a little too tight.

"My dear, you should get stronger poisons, you know," he commented lightly, pressing his cheek against hers. "I grew up around these sorts of things, especially at family reunions when we gathered the whole clan for the Mamushka to celebrate someone. You'll never kill me at this rate. But it was an admirable attempt. Now, if you promise to improve your skills, I won't have to kill you. After all, it would look unseemly for the Black Widow of New Burgess to have to be a victim of the Boogeyman. It wouldn't fit his usual pattern, after all," he threatened, his voice low in her ear. "No, wouldn't it make it much better if we combined our efforts? I feel like we need to sit down and have a nice long chat about who we really are. After all, our courting stage was rather short. In light of your actions today, I feel like I really don't know you at all. I would like to remedy that," he added. "But I am proud of you for the attempt. I knew there was more to you than your pretty face." He released her but she didn't step away from him.

"What do you want from me?" Tooth asked, her voice firm as she masked how shaken she was.

"I want a wife who won't stray and who may help me stash or stage a body or two every now and then," Pitch replied simply. "And you? What do you want from me?"

"The money. And to stop you from trading me in," she replied, turning to face him. He stood, facing her, with his arms clasped behind his back. Tooth turned her eyes up to lock onto his.

"Well, I have a steady income. And I doubt I'll ever trade you in, not now that I know your skillset," Pitch said. "Before you were just a pretty face. And now? Now you're invaluable," he purred. And as he closed the distance between them for a kiss she reciprocated wholeheartedly, Tooth felt like she just made a deal with the devil.

Fitting, since she had already married him.