Percy and I took turns steering, because I couldn't hog the entire ship to myself all the time, though if I could then I wanted to keep it for myself when we got back. I'd love to take mom sailing on it, I think it would make for a pretty good holiday, plus monsters shouldn't be able to attack us out in the ocean because that was Poseidon's domain, they wouldn't dare. Anyway, after getting changed out of the dress from Circe's island and stuffing it into my backpack I went rummaging around the ship and practically screamed with excitement when I figured I'd found treasure, bringing Annabeth with me so that she could tell me exactly what I'd found. Gold. Lots and lots of gold. And jewels too, apparently. It was a true pirate ship, after all, and I even played around with a few cutlasses after stuffing some of the fattest gems into my backpack to take back to mom. I'm pretty sure our financial issues were over. I am definitely keeping the ship.
I calmed down after a few hours exploring, getting to know the ship better but once the tiredness settled in, I remembered Tyson and felt a crushing sense of guilt and mournfulness. We should have protected him better. I even wondered if dad would be upset, angry with us even, but then I brushed it aside. I doubt he even noticed. Having been leaning against the side of the ship, I felt particularly venomous, so I spit over the side into the water. I couldn't tell if it was day or night but I took a rest in the captain's cabin which was luxuriously furbished, Captain Blackbeard had clearly liked his comforts, and the bed was large with bedding which smelled as fresh as newly laundered sheets. I fell asleep quickly and only woke up several hours later when Percy asked me to take over. I went up to the wheel and taught Annabeth how to sail for a bit, information surfacing in my head as we continued to glide through the water at roughly ten knots. Knowing we were running out of time, I fidgeted anxiously, leaning against the wheel until we came upon an island which caused Annabeth to gasp softly. "What is it?" Since it was an island, I could only tell that it was there since the water parted around it, I didn't know what it was.
"I'd better go get Percy. We're coming up on the island of the Sirens." Ah, not good. Annabeth went and got Percy as we approached the land mass which I could sense in the water, a foreboding feeling in my gut. At first I wanted to steer as far away around it as possible, but Annabeth wanted something completely unexpected. She wanted to hear them, like Odysseus of old. At first I thought she was crazy, but when she talked about them and their song, how the sirens would tell things about yourself that you didn't already know, as well as some things that you needed to hear, good and bad, I started to feel curious. When Percy agreed to help Annabeth hear them, I said I wanted to hear them too. "Really? You want to hear them Lily?"
"Like you said, when else am I going to get a chance? I'm not really interested in becoming wiser like you, but there are some things about myself that I would like to know…some things that maybe only the sirens can tell me." My thoughts dwelled on the prophecy that Annabeth had told me about, but I didn't tell the others that. "Unless you want my help with the ship Percy?" He thought for a few seconds but then assured me he could manage, so once we were about to come in range he had too separate ropes tie both myself and Annabeth to the mast of the ship, where I took several deep breaths before closing my eyes in order to listen to the sounds of the waves and tide. For a while I heard nothing, thinking that perhaps the Sirens might be asleep, but then the gradual swell of sound began to rise and for a few moments, I thought I was hearing whale song. It was beautiful, but that word wasn't enough to fully describe it. It brought so many pleasant thoughts and feelings to me that I couldn't help but relax into it, thinking that this wasn't as bad as the stories said. But then the words started to come. They were just as melodic and sonorous, echoing like the tones of an angelic host cascading in silken ripples, growing louder and louder. The voice and song were glorious, but the words were terrible. They wrenched through my heart and pulled forth every sorrowful emotion I had, because they were harsh but true. They told me that I was useless and weak, that I was a cursed being who made life impossible for my mother and brother, that they had sacrificed so much just for me because I was a burden. Their voices rang with power, and soon enough I was sobbing and begging Percy to make it stop, but he couldn't hear me. They told me I was arrogant and prideful, spiteful and vindictive with a poisonous hatred and loathing towards my father and the gods that would inevitably tear me apart and harm those closest to me. They told me that I was powerless in the face of true peril, that when I would face something greater than myself I would flee in cowardice. I didn't want it to be true, but deep down I knew that it was. I would rather live than die heroically. I might even let the world fall if it meant my survival.
I was not the Chosen One, as I had secretly hoped. It was not my destiny to decide the fate of Olympus, because I was not born to be a leader like other heroes. I would be nothing more than a side character that would soon be forgotten in history. I sobbed and wept, wanting this torture to end. But then the sirens began to tempt me, promising that if I would go to them, they could make everything better. They showed me a vision as I started to tug at my ropes, feeling the ones around me holding Annabeth suddenly grow loose as she then vanished, but I didn't care or rather, it didn't register that she was swimming to danger. Instead, I could see clearly what the Sirens wanted me to see, showing me my deepest desire. My sight, and the respect and love of everyone as they knelt beneath me. But then it all vanished and instead, I saw everyone's backs turned on me, catching glimpses of their faces full of disgust and disappointment, and although I had never seen many of their faces before, I somehow knew who they were. Some were easy, my mom and brother, Annabeth, Grover and Chiron, but they all sneered and looked away, walking away where no matter how much I cried and begged, they didn't come back, and I couldn't move. My legs were stuck as if thigh deep in dried cement, and no amount of tugging and wriggling would let me free. I saw faces of campers in their orange camp shirts, faces of people I had never met, but they all looked at me with disappointment, and whispered a single word: failure. I feared failing them, deep down, of not being strong enough to make a difference when it was only me who could make it, whilst also fearing that I would never be given that chance. I was so afraid, petrified even, but this wasn't even my fatal flaw. No. My fatal flaw became clear in the final scene that the sirens showed me, whereupon I saw the back of a man standing in gleaming Greek armour patterned like fish scales, a glowing trident in his right hand, jet black hair shimmering as it drifted in the water. No. No this can't be true. No don't turn, don't look at me! The Sirens were now screaming at me, revealing my fatal flaw as I tried to drown out their words even as the figure began to turn even though I didn't see their face as I finally managed to close my eyes at the last moment.
My fatal flaw was rejecting of my true self. Refusing to acknowledge who I truly was. My fatal flaw was denial.
The truth came to me clear as day, and as the figure turned around, I caught a brief flash of a glowing smile, bright and warm and loving until all too quickly it vanished as I squeezed my eyes shut and I sucked in a deep gulp of salty air, where the songs of the Sirens had fallen into distant whispers. I was still on the ship, but I could tell something was wrong. Annabeth wasn't next to me, though I could kind of sense her nearby and the ship was responding to Percy, so they weren't hurt or eaten. I croaked weakly, my screaming having turning my voice hoarse, asking to be let down. Annabeth cut me loose, since she knew that the Sirens were gone now and the moment I was free I collapsed to my knees. That was exhausting, and rather…eye opening. Hurtful. Soul crushing, I think is the word I was looking for. Annabeth put her arms around me and I was dimly aware that she was soaking wet, but I accepted her hug and embraced her back, because now only the two of us could truly understand what the other had gone through. I regretted it, but at the same time, I was glad I'd gone through with it because I understood myself better than I had done before, and it had even answered some questions that I'd needed answering. Still. I think we should avoid this island altogether on our return.