Shinji opened his eyes and looked up. This time there was no unfamiliar ceiling above him. In fact, there was no ceiling at all. Just the blue sky and the daylight reflected off the figure of the red giant that was partially destroyed on the battlefield. Alongside it, several cranes and other equipment trying to bring the Evangelion Unit 02 back to the Geofront.
He slowly recovered his memory of what had happened. He had decided to leave Nerv and his position as pilot of Unit 1, but the Angel's attack drove him into a shelter. From afar he watched as Asuka and Ayanami tried to fight off the enemy and heard the words of Kaji, who was quietly watering a watermelon field while the battle was going on.
Yes, he now remembered everything. He had decided to go back on his decision and ask to pilot the Eva again to save everyone. Obviously, he had failed, and he is lucky to still be alive. Sure enough, he had been knocked out by one of the explosions resulting from the battle and Unit 1 with the Dummy System had finished off the enemy. He was right. He really was useless and no one needed him anymore.
And to further increase his humiliation, as he reached into his pockets, Shinji realized that he no longer had his phone, wallet, and documents with him. He would have to ask Misato for help once again. Sighing deeply, he slowly began to walk towards the apartment where he had spent the best days of his life. Days that were now in the past.
The walk to the apartment was longer than he imagined, but Shinji didn't mind. Nor did he feel hungry or tired. On the way, he just stared at people's faces. None of them, however, looked at him, ignoring his presence. As was always the case. He only had value for piloting the Eva. Nobody really cared about Shinji Ikari, after all.
When he arrived at the apartment, it was already late at night. He stopped beside the entrance door and hesitated. How could he face Misato and Asuka after all that had occurred? Although he knew he had no choice, it was not easy to make the decision to knock on the doorbell and announce his arrival. "I'm home" was a phrase that no longer made sense given the circumstances.
However, to his surprise, as he leaned his hand on the door, Shinji got off balance and fell face-first onto the floor inside the apartment. 'Was the door open? What happened here?'- Shinji stood up and tried to pull himself together, when he finally felt himself being observed by someone
"Hi Pen-pen." He said, sketching a smile. The penguin kept looking at his face, with a strange and slightly disturbing look. Until the uncomfortable situation was interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing.
Before Shinji could do anything about it, he saw Asuka quickly come out of her room and answer the phone, in a hurry.
'Asuka...' - a mixture of feelings of happiness and sadness ran like a tractor through Shinji's thoughts, but was quickly interrupted by the nervous voice of the girl speaking on the phone.
"I know that she is fine! Misato, don't phone me for such a trivial thing!"
Asuka threw the phone on the floor, and immediately locked herself in her room.
Shinji could hear some grunting and crying as the girl screamed angrily.
"I couldn't... I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it... And I was outdone by that stupid Shinji... I hate this!"
'Outdone?' - Shinji thought for a while as he realized that the fact that Asuka didn't even notice his presence was perhaps for the best. He decided to run away, after all. He failed. He had disappointed her. She didn't even want to go with Misato to say goodbye to him.
So, Shinji decided to retreat to his old room. Tomorrow Misato would arrive and he would ask her to send him away from their lives for good.
He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes. Minutes and hours passed. But he couldn't sleep. It was about four o'clock in the morning when he noticed the living room light on and, a few moments later, the sound of glasses and plates breaking.
He got up and opened the door to his room slightly.
Asuka was sitting at the table, her head and arms resting on the table. The crying was loud and noticeable, causing Shinji to wonder if this scene was in fact real. The great Asuka Langley Sohryu crying? The only time he had ever seen a similar scene was that night before the battle against the angel after they completed their synchronization training. But what happened in the aftermath shocked him even more.
"Shinji, you idiot! You're not coming back? I hate you! I hate you! I was so stupid… how could I start to to like someone as pathetic as you? "
Shinji's eyes widened and, perhaps driven by adrenaline, he began to walk slowly toward the girl who was crying copiously.
He knew it was worthless and would probably make things worse, but he couldn't keep seeing Asuka like that without doing anything. So taking all the courage he had Shinji put his hand on Asuka's shoulder.
Asuka felt a chill run through her body and began to cry even harder as Shinji's hand went across her shoulder and across the wooden table.
Shinji, in turn, looked at his hand, slightly transparent, and screamed a cry of horror. Which was not heard by Asuka. After all, dead people can't speak.
Days passed without Shinji knowing what to do. He just watched helplessly as Asuka destroyed herself in her frustration and depression, while Misato worked day and night without rest at the Geofront.
And what hurt him the most was the fact that he saw how strong Asuka's feelings towards him were. For better or for worse, he was really very important to her. And to see her in this state, so vulnerable and helpless, made him immensely sad.
He accompanied her everywhere, but whenever he tried to get close to her, he noticed that the girl shivered and was overcome by a wave of sadness and anger.
Shinji sat down in his chair in the classroom. The chair that seemed empty to all the occupants. He always felt invisible in the middle of the classroom, until he arrived in Tokyo-3 where he started hanging out with Toji and Kensuke. And then also with Ayanami and Asuka, in their own way. And suddenly, without him even noticing, he began to enjoy going to school. But those days were over, forever.
The bell rang, marking the end of another school day. Asuka quickly gathered her things and quickly ran towards Misato's apartment. Shinji, this time, did not get up from his chair and just watched Asuka and the other classmates leave. It was time to accept fate.
'After all, what's the point of going after her? I am already dead. No one can hear me.'
"The fact that your soul is outside your body does not mean that you are dead."
Shinji was amazed to see Rei Ayanami preparing to perform the chores of cleaning the empty classroom.
'A-ayanami, can you hear me?'
"Yes."
'W-what happened to me? Because I...'
"Your physical body was absorbed by Eva in the last battle, but your soul was not."
'I... I don't understand. So does that mean I've died?'
"Not yet. But the essence of the human soul needs a receptacle. Of a body capable of generating an AT-Field to hold its essence. Without it, slowly your soul will break down and your existence will disappear. Major Katsuragi and Dr Akagi are trying to find a way to reunite your soul back to your body, but so far they have been unsuccessful."
'I see... So... how much time do I still have?'
Rei for the first time looked away and did not answer the question.
'Ayanami... I... may I ask you a favor?'
Asuka opened the apartment door angrily, getting even more angry when she realized who was ringing the doorbell.
"What are YOU doing here Wondergirl?"
Shinji looked at the two girls and whispered to Rei.
'A-ayanami… I'm sorry. You don't need to do this. Asuka won't believe in you, so…'
"Pilot Sohryu. In the previous days you felt some strange presence near you and have thoughts related to Pilot Ikari."
Asuka stepped back as Rei entered the apartment without hesitation, with Shinji following.
"What kind of nonsense you are talking about, First?"
"That you felt Pilot Ikari presence calling you."
A period of awkward silence.
"So let me understand. Are you trying to say that Shinji… is here?
'I'm sitting beside you Asuka!'
Rei just pointed. "Right here."
Asuka tentatively extended her hand. She flinched for a second, feeling that same odd chilling sensation that she felt that other night - but didn't pull back.
'I… I'm sorry Asuka.'
"What is he saying?"
"He is saying that he is sorry."
Asuka got up, and laughed a mean laughter. "Oh really? Couldn't you have thought of something more elaborate? That's so lame, even from you Wondergirl! That idiot is dead! I know that you are delusional and acting like a desperate widow because your beloved is gone, but that is not my business. I don't care at all! So get out of here! NOW! Leave me alone!"
'Ayanami. Tell her she's wearing the same blouse that she was wearing at that night that Mr. Kaji went to sleep here'.
"Shinji is saying that you're wearing the same blouse that you wore at that night that Mr. Kaji slept here."
The laughter on Asuka's face gave way to a look of astonishment and concern, prompting her to react the way she always did when things get out of her control. Shout loudly in anger.
"What kind of clowning around is this? I'm tired of wasting my time with you, Wondergirl. Get out of here now! GO AWAY! I don't want to hear any more of this nonsense!"
'Asuka...' - Shinji said, with sadness" - "It's no use, Ayanami. It's impossible. She'll never want to listen to me.'
"Ikari. You can use my body if you want."
Shinji and Asuka looked at her, in shock.
Rei, sensing his hesitation, continued talking: "It's no different than synchronizing with the Eva."
He suddenly understood what she meant.
"W-what kind of bullshit things are you saying Wondergirl? Are you stupid?"
Shinji hesitated for a moment and then cautiously, awkwardly pushed his ghostly body into her solid form.
Rei closed her eyes. She walked over the house sound system, and, after a few moments, she selected a track and pressed the "play" button. A familiar song started to play.
Rei's body turned slowly toward Asuka.
Rei's hand reached out and barely touched Asuka's hand, speaking with a different kind of voice some well-known words. "R-remember… Full power, maximum performance from the beginning!"
Asuka swallowed hard. And she closed her eyes.
"I… I know that. We'll finish in 62 seconds."
With awkward tenderness, she put her arms around him and before
he could understand what was happening, they were dancing. A strange, touching image, reminiscent of their last night before that battle.
They danced until the music stopped. Asuka, still with her eyes closed, felt Shinji's ticklish breath. And also his scent, his shyness and his stupid smile that she learned to like so much.
"Your breath tickles."
"Oh… sorry. Do… do you want to pinch my nose?"
"That depends. Do you want to hold me this time?"
Shinji reached out, slowly bringing his fingers down over her face, caressing her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, until they softly kissed as he held her tight.
Asuka stood motionless. Her face shined. At that moment, she knew beyond all doubt that it was him.
And soon after that, fear and despair immediately came into her conscious mind.
Asuka screamed, pushing him away. Shinji's spirit fell on the floor, as Rei's body kept her balance. Only to be hit by a loud slap from Asuka.
"Why are you doing this to me? Get away from me, Wondergirl! I know all about you. You're a fake. You're just a freak. A liar! Leave me alone!"
'No, Asuka! You don't understand! Rei, please, tell her' – Shinji tried to speak, in vain, as Rei simply turned back and started walking away from the apartment.
Shinji tried to go after her and ask her to stop. But the lonely single tear at the blue haired girl face told him the news that he feared the most.
Rei wasn't hearing him anymore.
The sound of a door opening was noticed by Rei Ayanami, but she did not turn around to see who it was.
The answer was obvious.
"So... this is when they will try to rescue the idiot isn't it?"
Rei simply nodded.
After a silence of a few minutes, Asuka asked in a low voice, almost as if she were speaking to herself. "He's here, isn't he?"
Rei simply shook her head, negatively.
The two remaining pilots looked out the window as the Nerv technicians made final preparations. In a few moments, the operation to rescue Shinji Ikari would take place.
"The Eva rejected the signal!"
"His ego formation in LCL is breaking up."
"In the plug, the pressure is getting high."
Misato looked at the monstruous face of Eva Unit 01 and the pool of LCL flooding the isolated area, with no sight of Shinji.
The operation had failed.
In the observation room, Asuka felt on her knees as she stared at the despair from Nerv technicians, while Rei observed the scene, with a faint sad smile.
"No! No! No! This is impossible!" – Asuka whispered.
"Goodbye, Asuka."
Asuka's head lifted up, as she looked around.
"Stupid Shinji? Is that you?"
"A-Asuka?"
"I… I can hear you, idiot! Where are you? WHERE ARE YOU?"
She shouted with a mix of anger and sadness.
The dust in the air near Asuka began to shimmer with a subtle glow. To her astonishment Shinji luminous form appeared before Asuka, overwhelming her. The two of them gazed at one another without moving. A silent exchange, charged with emotion.
"I can't stay anymore, Asuka."
Tears roll down her cheek.
The brilliant light intensified, beautiful, like a sunrise, saturating the room with a warm, comforting glow. Asuka and Rei stared in awe for a while.
"I will miss you, Ikari."
"I will miss you, too.. Rei. Thank you, for everything."
Rei smiled warmly.
Shinji turned to Asuka, who was gazing at the last remaining
moments of him, her eyes brim over with tears and love.
"Thanks for saying that you liked me. I… liked you too Asuka. I love you, Asuka. I'm sorry I disappointed you."
Asuka swallowed hard as she wiped her eyes.
"Baka!"
The light inside Shinji intensified. A sweet smile emerged on
his lips.
"It's so amazing, Asuka. The love inside..."
Suddenly, Asuka ran toward him and touched on his cheek. A real touch this time, that both of them could feel despite of the AT-Field. Two souls, connecting deeply, in a moment of true understanding. She started sobbing.
"Stupid Shinji! Don't run away, i-idiot! Come back! Like you always do, invincible Shinji. And if you don't, I will reach you no matter what! And then I will kick your sorry ass, do you understand?. I… I…"
He whispers, almost crying. "I… wish to see you again."
Those were his last words before his spirit slowly dissolved within its ghostly moorings and begins to evaporate.
Asuka sat quietly on the floor with a look of awe and wonder in her eyes. After a moment, Rei reached down to help her up. Asuka looked at her and sighed. Then awkwardly took her hand. Arm in arm, supporting one another, as they stared again at the window, showing the unreadable face of Evangelion Unit 01.
"What's the point of science if it can't save one person?!" – Misato screamed in despair. "Just one! Give Shinji back! Give him back to me!"
Ritsuko tried hard to keep her stoic pose as she gave the order.
"Stop all operations. Cut the power supply."
"Wait. The plug is exited."
"Shinji!"
Author notes: Once again, sorry for the extended absence and thanks so much for the continued support. Things got mad here in my country and my daugther decided to arrive to this world earlier than expected. Now that things are a little less complicated and all is right with the world, I will catch up with read and reviews and try to write something for Asuka's birthday, here in this series or as a one-shot.
Oh, and this one was supposed to be a Halloween chapter, but as subversion of the horror movies tropes, turning it into a romantic story. Can you guess the old movie that did the same trick?
Until the next time.