Entry 67: Phony
July 29th: Morning
Standing in front of the Nakano household, a wave of nostalgia washed over me. I don't think I've visited them since they fully moved in, meaning the last time I was in the Pentagon was about a month ago. Sucking in a breath, I took out my spare key and opened the door. "Morning." lazily, I walked into the apartment, dragging luggage and camping supplies behind me. As soon as I walked in however, the nostalgia turned into trauma. The living room was a complete mess. Clothes and half filled suitcases were scattered around the room. Sitting on the couch, with her legs up and eating a bag of cookies, was Nino. "What the fuck?"
"Ah! Hi honey!" Waving at me with a smile, it was almost as if everything was fine. And not that the living room was a pigsty. Standing up, she rushed over to me and wrapped me in a hug. "Ouuu, I missed you!"
"S-Same here. Um, Nino... what happened here? We're supposed to leave soon aren't we?"
Stepping back, she was about to answer me until her eyes went wide. She grabbed my face and inspected my neck. "What happened? Why're you wrapped in bandages? Did you-"
"Maki and I got into a fight last night, and she sicked Rosmontis on me."
"Of course that bitch turned one of the cutest cats in the world into a violence machine! I'll destroy her..." Ah, my made up excuse ended up making this feud worse. Ugh. Her anger quickly dissipated as she turned around to look at the messed up room. "Anyway, it's not really my fault. It's hard picking out cute outfits for camping, you know? One one hand, they need to be practical. On the other, it'd be a shame to not show how cute I am."
"Nino, you're you. You'd look cute in anything. Honestly, if you were wearing a trash bag, Id still have to hold back the urge to hug you for hours."
"..." Standing still for a while, she turned back and kicked me in the shin. "Damn playboy."
"What? I meant it!"
"That makes it worse!" With a huff, she turned back and went to a random pile of clothes. "Sheesh, fine. I'll hurry up... make sure everyone else is ready, shitty guard."
"Ah, it's been a while since you called me that. It's so nostalgic, I think I'll cry. Or is that my hurt feelings? Can't tell right now."
"Boo hoo. You've been dealing with that for years. Don't be gross." Giving me a fake grimace, Nino went on to start looking at her clothes. Nodding to her, I went upstairs to check on the sisters. As soon as I reached the top step, a door to my left swung open.
"Ah! Fresh air! Finally! Coming out of her room with a satisfied smile and wiping away sweat, Yotsu brought a large suitcase behind her and pulled it into the hallway. Playing it right next to her door. Ah, it's been a while since we've seen each other. And last time was a bit... ugh. I hope it's just not akw- "Kurororororororororororo! Hey, hey! Help me bring this down stairs please? It's super heavy! And, as a delicate flower, it would be bad for me to do so much work, right?" Yup, good ol Yotsuba.
"First you turn my name into an onomatopoeia, then you boss me around? How cruel can you be, young mistress?"
"Shishishi! As cruel as I need to be! Tis my job as a princess!" Trying to match her assumed role, she attempted to make a stereotypical rich girl laugh. "HOHOHO-augh! Ahhhh! I think I swallowed a bug."
Shaking my head, I effortlessly grabbed the luggage. "Yes, yes. Anything for you, My lady."
"So nice!" Just before I walked downstairs however, she suddenly shouted. "Ah! W-Wait a sec." Turning back, I saw she was nervously playing with her hands. Pushing her fingers together. "Um... I wanted to say sorry. You know... For the other day."
Ah. That. Nodding, I let out a sigh before looking away from her. "Honestly, it was my fault for prying. Sorry."
"No. I'm the one that's sorry!"
"Listen brat, just accept my apology already!"
"Who're you calling a brat, you brat?! Hurghurh! You can be really stubborn sometimes, Kurororo!" ME?!
"Oh yeah, well-"
"Shut~Up~" Coming out of her room, Ichika sang her command, dragging her luggage behind her as well. However, just as she was coming out of her room, I caught a glance of the inside. Instantly, my eyes laid onto a pile of both garbage and clothes lying at the center of her room. Of course, that pile was surrounded by scattered clothes as well. Oh my god, I think I'm going to have a panic attack just thinking about it.
"Ichika, when we get back. You and I are going to clean your room."
"Awwww, just do it yourself. You owe me after all." With the suitability of a grenade going off, she pointed to her neck. Oh come on! Luckily for me, it seemed to go over Yotsu's head. "Oh and stop fighting Yotsuba. My lil sis has enough to deal with Tartar coming over all the time and flirting with her."
"H-He's not doing that at all! Stop saying that!" Immediately, the green loving sister began to blush and hide her face behind her bunny-like ribbon. But, Ichika's slight strain as she said that didn't go unnoticed by me. Dammit, it's tough trying to support them both while knowing it's already mostly over. I'm sorry Ichika, but as much as I want to protect you from rejection, it's not my place to tell you. "Kuro, tell her to stop teasing me!"
"Sorry, got luggage to move."
"Traitor!" Grabbing the eldest sister's luggage as well, I quickly brought them downstairs and made my escape to the bathroom. By the time I got out, the two sisters were talking with Nino, seemingly consoling her about what to pack. I snuck my way around them to get back upstairs and find Miku and Itsuki.
With absolutely no bias or desire to see my girlfriend at all, I knocked on Miku's bedroom door. "Hey, it's me. DO you need any help?"
"K-Kuro?!" Her muffled, surprised voice echoed from behind the door. "I'm g-good! I don't need your- Oue!" Her sudden interruption and the sound of something falling over overrode the order she gave me. Opening the door, that last thing I expected to see was her on the floor, in some sort of strange cosplay. What the...? Her ears were far more pointed than usual, her nails were painted black and she was wearing a long black cape with an elongated collar that reached up to her ears. At the moment, I couldn't really see what else she was wearing, considering she was lying face down on the floor. Shit, what am I doing! Help her, you idiot!
"You alright?" Walking to her, I knelt next to her and grabbed her shoulder. Upon feeling the contact, she shot straight up and backed up away from me until her back touched a wall. With her standing, I could now see what else she had on. Under a red vest, she wore a white long sleeve shirt combined with black professional pants. "Oh, you're a vampire."
"N-No, I'm not!" Opening her mouth to speak, I could see she even put on fake long canines. Ah, I wouldn't mind getting my blood sucked by her! "It's K-Kana's fault! I don't know why I let her convince me to buy this..."
"Well, clearly I'll have to thank her." Laying one hand over my chest, I walked over to the vampires and knelt before her. "I'll gladly become your thrall if you ask it of me."
Her face turned the same shade as the blood she would have to drink. "Pervert."
"Haha. Maybe so." But who's fault do you think that is? I used to be a straight-edged bodyguard. Now look at me, having fantasies of being taken by a version of Miku that could kill me so easily. Standing up, I chuckled in an attempt to keep the fantasies away. It didn't work. "Anyway, why try it on now? Halloween's a few months away."
"I just wanted to, okay! I forgot that we were supposed to leave today too." Gently, she took the cape off and threw it onto her bed. "I'm gonna change. Umm..."
"Oh, I'll come back later."
"Well... you don't have to go." Her suggestion hung in the air for a few seconds. And while the devil on my shoulder was telling me to give in, rationality won.
"I-I-I-I-I-I-" Okay, maybe my brain just broke. Don't judge me!
Giving me a sweet and understanding smile, my angel of a girlfriend gave me a hug before turning me around and effortlessly pushing me into the hallway. "Later then." Blowing me a kiss, she closed the door and went on to change. DAMMIT! I should have stayed! No! Everyone's here and we have to leave soon! But still!
"Ugh, shut up, horny brain!" Punching myself in the face, I was able to retain my sanity. Though the regret at the back of my mind was still whispering to me. Ignoring it, I walked over to Itsuki and knocked. I didn't even have to announce myself before she opened the door with an exasperated look. Her eyes were wide, and she was even sweating. Suddenly, she grabbed my hand and pulled me in. "Woah!" Stumbling in, I didn't see anything strange. The room was as tidy as can be, it seemed she had finished packing and she even had a bento box ready on her desk. "What's wrong?"
"Kuro... I need you to tell me something." The red haired girl was shaking as she stared into my eyes. Oh no. What's wrong? "Kuro... am I creepy?"
"...wat?"
"Well, I invited Suba to come camp with us last night but... he just said no. When I texted him if something was wrong or if something came up, he didn't reply. You don't think I was t-to familiar, was I?" Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes and her hurt puppy look was hurting my heart.
But... I couldn't tell her the truth. I couldn't tell her that Subaru had locked himself in his room because one of his- our good friends betrayed us. That he probably just didn't want to let her know about his problems and worry her. "He's fine. He's just a bit... tired is all. Maybe he was focused on playing a game last night too." I couldn't look at her as I bluntly lied.
And the fact she believed me made me want to crush my own heart. "Oh... okay. As long as he's alright. Guess I was worried about nothing." Giving me a weak smile, she moved over to her suitcase and handed it to me. "U-Um, please bring this down for me, okay? I have a few more things to get ready."
"Sure. See you downstairs." Walking out her room, I shut the door behind me before letting out a quiet sigh. Dammit, Subaru. You really wormed your way into her heart, eh? Debating with myself, I questioned whether or not what I was going to do would work. Ah well, might as well give it a try. Taking out my phone, I quickly navigated to Subaru's contact and began to text him.
Me: Hey, I need you to do me a favor.
Same Day: Afternoon
As soon as I parked the car, my arms felt like jelly. Ugh, I hate driving. "Come on, Kuku. You should just bite the bullet and take more classes. You'll probably be driving more when we graduate." Ignoring Ichika's comments and smug grin, I got out of the car and walked over to the trunk. Even with my arms hurting, taking out the girl's luggage was still as easy as baking a pie. Wait, I suck at baking too! One by one, the sisters took their luggage before walking deeper to the park area we had reserved for our little camping trip. Everyone except for Ichika, of course.
She stayed behind, leaning against the car as she watched her sisters walk. "Anything else I can help you with, Lady Ichika?"
"Aw come on. No need to be so passive aggressive."
"My face still hurts, you know." Cringing, my 'older' sister stood up straight and gave me a fake laugh.
"Yeah. Sorry about that. You know how I am." As far as I can remember, Itsuki and Nino were the only ones who've gotten physical. Shrugging her shoulders, she walked closer to me before placing a hand on my shoulder. "...Are you alright? I mean... we could still cancel. It was the other day that-"
"I'm fine." Scratching the bandages over my neck, I tried my best to ignore her pity. "Let's just go and have fun." Walking ahead of her, I made my way to the meeting spot. I heard her move along behind me, and I could even feel her eyes on the back of my head. But, what could I do? I'm I doubt that anything I could say would convince her. I mean sure, I felt a little... off. But otherwise, everythings fine. Why wouldn't they be?
Finally reaching the camping site, I was surprised to see one tent already set up. Well, until I saw who was currently doing it. "There we are! You see! I told you I'm the best! So please let me stay Nino!" At the center of the area, kneeling before my girlfriend was Subaru. He was wearing a weird boy scout outfit that I'm sure wasn't helping his case. "Please!"
"Honestly, you're a bad surprise already. Why the hell did you bring her." She pointed to the side where Maki was sitting on a cut down tree, casually eating a snack. "Why the hell are you even here, bitch?!"
"Someone had to drive that idiot." She can drive?! Standing up after dropping her wrapper on the floor, Maki walked over to Nino and stood face to face with her. "Plus, things have been a little hectic recently. I'll hang out here for a bit."
"WHAT?!" Ugh.
It took a good while to calm the two enemies down and begin setting up the tenets. While the sisters were busy, I dragged Subaru and Maki deeper into the woods. Once we were a good few paces away, I let out a sigh and leaned against a tree. "First off, Maki. Don't litter."
"Fuck Nature." I don't even know what to say to that. The violent girl snickered at me before nodding. "Fine, I'll throw out my trash like a good little girl."
"Hearing you call yourself that sounds weird."
"Huuuuuh? Want me to punch you in the face again?"
"N-No ma'am!" It was good to see that their dynamic still hasn't changed. It is a bit weird to see them act like this knowing how Maki feels but also because... "A-Anyway, thanks for letting me know, Brogata. I didn't think that Iki would worry so much about someone like me... OH I LOVE HER SO MUCH!" The look of utter disgust that Maki had on didn't go unnoticed by me, but knowing what she'd do if I ever brought it up, I locked that forbidden knowledge deep into my head. "Sure everything that's been happening recently has been... stressful. But I've got to get over it sometime, right?"
"Wow, I'm actually surprised that you were able to form that thought. Maybe you've finally become something similar to a human."
Maki's sarcastic comment seemed to get on the otaku's nerves, if his flaring blush and glare meant anything. "Hey, you know what?! You can be a real asshole Maki! I'm trying to put my feelings out there for my Brogata and you have to shit on me?! Screw you!"
"Relax, I was joking, mostly." I don't even think she means that. "Maybe if you weren't such a pussy, you'd relax and be able to know what's going on. I mean seriously, if you're going to be so sensitive, I'd expect you to realize how your actions can affect others. What kind of human would think that sending cryptic messages to a girl's invite would be a normal and okay thing to do?" Honesty, Maki had a point. Even I, the iconic idiot, could see that was a dumb decision to do.
"I... well... Fuck, you're right!" Dropping onto his knees, the raven haired young man looked like he was about to cry. "God I'm such an idiot... Thank you, Maki! Not only have you opened my eyes to this, but I wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for you." Somehow, his spirit and emotions flipped like a switch, He bounced back up and, with a blush that would be more appropriate on a maiden, Subaru scratched the back of his head. "Thanks."
"...whatever." And here I thought I'd finally see Maki blush for once. Weirdos, both of them. "I needed to get out of Luna anyway. That place has been depressing. Especially with Take and Saga leavin."
That's right. As of yesterday, because of the betrayal, my brother disbanded the Sentinels. It was more of a way to save face then to punish anyone. Everyone except for... you know, is still in Library. But having a sub-organization that had a traitor amongst its mix would never work out in the end. "I'm surprised those two moved already..." It's only been two days and they already left? Maybe we weren't as close as I thought.
Scoffing, the angry woman shook her head. "Well, Take's hated living there forever, especially since he's right next to a certain otaku."
"How's it my fault?!"
"Anyway, Saga's been working with the seniors for a while now anyway, makes sense she moved in with em." She what?! I didn't even know that! Maybe we really weren't as close as I thought! Shrugging her shoulders, Maki relaxed before staring right at me. "Then there's you."
"What'd I do?"
"Your entire existence is that of an idiot." Wild. "Just move back in with those girls already. Or what, are you scared of Maruo slicing your dick off in your sleep?" Don't put scary ass shit like that in my head! Snickering at me, she turned back around and started walking to camp. "Stop being so stuck up and let's relax for once. Shit stain Suba, you haven't finished fixing my tent."
"Yes ma'am..." Huh... guess she's already got him on a leash. Is that the power of childhood friends?
Same day: Evening
Where was it that I went wrong exactly? Did I do something to hurt him? To slight him? Or did one of the sisters? No, that wouldn't make much sense. He didn't join Library until after the girls and I were finally getting along. So even if they said something rude to him, it'd have to be a passing comment or a joke. Maki being in the same room with him for five minutes would have done worse. Oh, perhaps it was Maki then? No... she was barely even involved with any of the incidents. So what was it? What did I do? It's obviously my fault somehow. Seth's a good- or he was a good guy. Maybe it was just something small, and Ono's manipulations just kept him in the game. That must be it... right? Or maybe not. Ugh, not knowing either of their motivations isn't helping at all!
"...ro. Kuro!"
"Huh?" Looking up from my half eaten plate of food, Yotsu sat in front of me. She was frowning and wouldn't look away from my eyes. "Sorry. I was... thinking. What was it that you needed?"
"Well, at first I wanted your chicken... but are you okay? You didn't say a lot while we ate and you're still here. We finished eating a few minutes ago..." Looking up, I noticed that the circle we sat in was empty. Just myself and Yotsu. All eight of us had decided to sit around the campfire to eat dinner and eat. What we talked about... I don't know.
"Sorry. Guess I just have a lot on my mind. Doesn't help that I didn't really sleep well last night."
"That's weird. I'm sure Nino and Miku were at home last night."
"Oh ha ha." Yotsu going from worried to smirking in less than a second was honestly impressive. "And here I thought you were actually worried about me. "
"I am! It was just a joke! Sorry." Her wide smile made her apology kind of hard to believe. But it's Yotsuba. So I just sighed and nodded. "Seriously though... I know I might not be the best person to say this but... I'm here for you, okay?"
I thought about it. I thought about letting them know the specifics about everything. My neck injury, my idiomatic decision that led me to almost dying, this pain in my chest that I feel every time I think about Seth. It's the right thing to do. I know it is but... I can't I can't bring myself to make them worry about someone like me. I know we're important to each other, but even so. I'm still just Kuro Ogata. And there is nothing I hate more than necessary burdening people. Yet I still keep doing stupid shit that ends up causing trouble for every one. Ugh, I'm such an idiot.
"Well, the other day, we caught Ono and the guy who shot me. Guess I'm still processing it." Bringing her hand to her chin, Yotsu seemed to ponder what I said and nodded her head a few times.
"I see. I see. So that's how you got hurt." Fuck. "Come on Kurororororo. How long do you think I've known you? Even I could tell you were lying about that. A cat couldn't hurt you that bad!" You know, maybe that was a bad excuse. Sighing to myself, I looked down at my half eaten chicken curry and couldn't help but feel like an idiot. "...it's fine. But keeping this to yourself obviously isn't ."
"...sorry but, I just don't want to be a nuisance. Especially when we're supposed to be having fun. I'll be alright tomorrow. Alright?"
Staring deep into my eyes, the orange haired girl growled and crossed her arms. "You better!" Nodding to her, I stood up to go throw away my half eaten food. Only to be interrupted by her humming. "If you aren't though, I'll play a prank on you!"
"Woah now. No need to go too far. You and I both know your pranks can be a bit much." I mean, last time she played a 'Prank' on me, my room was painted pink. Including my bed and myself. It took hours to clean everything up. I even had to buy brand new covers and pajamas. "GO easy on me, okay. I'm having a bad week."
"Nothing like a caring sister to make your week worse!" Ugh.
…
"Coward." I know I am.
"Coward" I didn't want to do it. I'm weak. I don't have the stomach for it. There's a reason why I didn't want to live in this fucking world. I know that I would go insane if I continued to live there. I don't want to be that demon again. Okay? So can you shut the fuck up?!
"Why do you always have to be such a pussy?" Sitting in front of me, in a fancy chair and sipping some tea was Ono. With that trademarked smirk on her face, she seemed just as happy to be there as if she won the lottery. "Here I thought you could actually be something. Do something." Placing the tea cup down onto an equally fancy and ornate table, she rested her head on her hands.
"Shut up."
"Maybe that cowardice is the reason why you threw your sister away."
"I didn't-" I was interrupted by a loud SLAM! "Between myself and Ono, a bloody old man's body fell onto the table from the sky. His blood shot eyes staring directly into mine. His suit still dripping with blood from a bullet wound from his chest. "I-I... I..."
"That should have been me." Her voice disappeared into a strange amalgamation of my own and hers. The old man's face flickering and changing to hers for a few seconds. "Why didn't I do it?"
"..."
"Because I'm scared. I'm scared of proving them right."
"..."
"Kuro Ogata. The Red Oni. The Demon Brawler. Someone who could have been King of the Yakuza. Why not? It would have been fun. Wouldn't it?" The distorted voice eventually changed completely into a strange version of my own. I couldn't keep my eyes off of the corpse. It's eyes staring into my own for so long, I was beginning to confuse who's eyes were whose. "I'm sure, I could have made Shiro proud with it. Reform the world from the inside. Maybe even reunite with W. But..."
"But I hate that world!"
"Do I? Do I really?" Do I hate it? I mean, of course I do! If it wasn't for the damn yakuza, I'd be a normal kid."
"Normal? Hell no." The voice changed once again, causing me to look up at my companion. Who transformed into Seth. His black mask and eyes almost looked like a void. "Even without them, you still would have been an outcast. A weirdo like you whose emotions are broken? A crazy person whose only real talent is hurting others? No. If the Yakuza never existed, you simply would have created them." Would I? Am I really that-
Crawling over the dead body, Seth came face to face with me and grabbed my head. "You should have stayed. You fucking coward."
Suddenly, his hands began to melt into a strange red substance. Then his whole body. And the table, the chair, even the old man's corpse. All melting into a puddle of blood. And in the center of that puddle, lay a single pink building block. "..." Walking into the puddle, I picked it up and examined it. Not a drop of blood stuck into it. Pristine, nice, perfect. Just like them. I want to be like them. I want to be with them. If I am, then I can be normal. I can be anyone but Ogata. Right? Right? Right?
"Fix that damn stupid mindset of yours!"
July 30th: Early Morning
My eyes shot right open, and My body tried to shoot right up. However, the sleeping bag I was wrapped in stopped me from doing anything but moving around like a worm. As my brain slowly understood where I was, I heard Subaru's loud ass snoring and immediately wished I'd brought ear plugs. Wiggling my body enough to get to my zipper, I was able to get out the sleeping bag and get out of my tent. The cool early summer air made me shiver as I walked outside, trying to relax my body and understand the trippy ass dream I just had.
"You're up early." Standing next to a river, a bottle of water in her hand was none other than Maki. Even here in the woods she was still wearing her sweat pants and a red t-Shirt. "What, had a wet dream or something?"
"Shut up." Shaking my head at her allegation, I leaned against a nearby tree and stared out at the passing river. "I just... had a bad dream is all."
"Awww, do you need Mama Maki to give you a hug?" Maybe she isn't the best person to confide in. But despite her jabs. It's still Maki. Sure she can be a real cun- I mean harsh person. Nino's rubbing off on me. But she's still one of my closest friends and confidants that I've ever had. "Alright, spit it out. What happened?"
"...do you think I'm making the right choice? Leaving Library?"
Without even a second of hesitation she answered. "Of course." Downing her drink, she was about to throw it into the river before looking at me. Sucking in her teeth, she held the plastic bottle in her hand. "Look, you and I both know you're not cut out for that world. Hell, you're not even the only one leaving. Subaru, Cecilia and I are heading out too. This world sucks. I would love nothing more than to never think about it ever again. Plus, if you want to be a normal fuck, that's your business."
I nodded at her explanation but, honestly, it didn't really go through. "Ugh, I hate it when you act like this. You really think way to fucking much about everything. I don't even know how you get dressed in the morning. How many times do I and other people have to tell you to just fucking chill! Fucking relax! God, your way of thinking is so fucked."
"Hey, I'm a kid. Leave me alone."
"No fucking way you use the Kid excuse for the first time in your life for this?! You know what? Fine. Fuck you." Throwing the plastic bottle at my head, Maki turned her back to me and began walking back to camp. "Grow up and start relying on others. And people who you can actually trust. Not fucking Ono and Seth. But the Princesses, Subaru and I. Hell, even your brother. Okay, fucking retard?"
Picking up the bottle, I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. I'll start today. Thanks."
"...ugh. Fuck you."
AN: Good Evening everyone. First off, I'm so so so so so sorry for everything. First for being silent for a week and secondly, for this change that I'm unfortunately going to have to make. As I announced last update, I recently started a new job and a lot has changed. I was going to try and finish at least this chapter last week, but I was to exhausted to do anything at all when I got home. Now, I'm a bit more used to things, unfortunately I think I'm gonna have to change the my updates. I don't know if it will be for the rest of the story, but as of now, I will be updating every Friday (Or Saturday) with only one chapter. I'm doing this because I don't want to rush or even cut down the chapters to meet my old standard. After a lot of thinking, I can to this conclusion. I'm sorry. I hope that you all can understand why I'm making this change. Other than that, thank you all so much for continuing to enjoy my story and I hope that you all continue to support me in future updates.
TheMist33: Kuro's inability to learn has been a sticky subject for me. Because I want to make him as realistic as I can. I wanted to show that even if a person is shown how wrong they are or figure out a problem that they have, it doesn't mean that they change immediately. I hope I've been able to show that here. Sure he's a complete dumbass, but I also wanted to show that he's learning. Slowly but surely. Sometimes, I fear that I'm making him to stubborn, but that's exactly what I'm going for. It's a weird dichotomy. Thanks for reviewing once again, Mist.
Guest: Thank you for your continued support and I hope this update was to your satisfaction. Once again, I apologize for the new change in the update. Thank you for reviewing and I hope you liked it.
PoppingMonke: Thank you so much for your complement! It's really reassuring that my comedy isn't falling flat. I hope to continue to meet your expectations and thank you for your kind review.