A Letter

A long piece of fabric dropped to the ground, relaxed compared to the frantic movements executed by Shinsou's hand a moment ago. The purple-haired male unwound as his body fell to the floor, staring up at the roof as he gained enough air to return to normal breathing. As tired as his eyes were, they flared with steady streams of determination, giving him enough motivation to keep getting back up.

This time though, he remained on the ground, his mouth opening with a mumble, but Estelle had still managed to pick up his words. "It would be much easier if I had the chance to control you."

Rolling her eyes, Estelle opened her mouth to answer but was stopped as Shinsou lunged back onto his feet, his hands wrapped around his bindings as he tried to capture her. Impressed that he had attempted to use distraction, Estelle moved around the white fabric, her voice steady compared to her rapid movements. "That's the point; Mr Aizawa has been working with you and your new toy. Plus, I doubt I would react well to mind control."

Shinsou froze at her words, his brows furrowing in perplexity as he immediately jerked into question. "What do you mean? You scared I'll make you do something you don't want to?"

Too late to stop herself mid-punch from his surprise stop, Estelle disregarded the male's wince when it connected to his chest. Leaning back, her eyes scrutinised him, her stomach twisting oddly by the strange look dancing across his face. Tilting her head and pursing her lips, Estelle suddenly realised how the words may have sounded.

The tight grit of his teeth made his chin poke out oddly, especially when he turned his head away to avoid her from seeing his eyes. It was too late; Estelle had already realised how much her words seemed to have wounded him, which had never been her intention.

She felt her eyes soften, understanding dawning on her as the memories of their time together flickered through her mind. Shinsou had frequently said that people used to view his quirk as villain-like, unable to differentiate the power from the man. The admission bothered her more than she even recognised; looking back at it, it made sense. Estelle never enjoyed how this world viewed power, correlating it to success in a way that made her feel nauseous.

The way Katsuki was regaled for having a hero's power, the way Izuku was discriminated against for having none, and the way Shinsou was treated for having an ability that had so much potential yet had been written off by everyone around him. Estelle had to wonder if there would ever be any chance of transformation in this world and if they would ever stop having a hierarchy based on power and instead somewhat that of merit.

'It's just wishful thinking.'

Her world was the same, spirits fighting one another, hating or fearing humans. Yet this world fought with each other in the name of good and evil, hating and fearing the other side that it only continued to bleed more violence.

The rules seemed the same no matter what world she was in.

Her eyes stayed on Shinsou's, noticing that he was bracing himself for her words. Her heart plummeted, knowing she was taking too long to answer. His mind was probably spiralling right now. "No, of course not. Hound-Dog says that bad experiences can cause my brain to react poorly. It's not you that I am afraid of."

Her words didn't seem to satisfy him since the purple-haired male only seemed to get more frustrated. Seizing his hair in his hands briefly, the teen sucked in a deep breath, trying to compose himself before he spoke. It didn't work, his voice coming out in a snap as his fists constricted around the capture tape. "What the hell do you mean bad experiences?!"

Biting her lip, Estelle wasn't sure if discussing it was the right thing to do. She mumbled, hoping he would drop the conversation, "It's not a big deal."

Growling to himself, Shinsou gaped at her like she was a complete moron. Shaking his head, the male took multiple steps forward to stare directly into her eyes with all the seriousness he could muster. His scowl remained on his face, seemingly aggravated that she was minimising herself in that way. "Yes, of course, it is!"

Estelle observed him with wide eyes as he took another lungful of air, his voice loud, verging on trembling as he forcefully spits out the words. His body shook lightly as he towered over her, his purple eyes peering into her soul to the point it ached. "Do you realise how many people have been afraid of me? Terrified that I would be a villain and make them act against their will? And now you're telling me that the first person who gave me a chance to prove them wrong is someone who has experienced that very thing? How does that make any sense?!"

Sensing his frantic desperation to understand, Estelle gave a slow nod, her heart cracking from the evident conflict he was experiencing. She spoke gently, returning his stare in a way that relaxed his shoulders. "The act of one's actions is not the downfall of another. I would never hold what happened to me against an innocent person. You deserved a chance, and now look at you, a hero in the making," Estelle finished. A tiny smile lingered on her lips, reflecting all her proudness for him. It was plain to her; she had no doubt he would reach his goal, his determination never wavering despite the cards he had been dealt.

Taking a step back, Shinsou stared at the female with wide eyes, a layer of pink crawling up his neck from her reasoning. He couldn't believe it. Wouldn't any sane person want to stay clear of his type of ability if they didn't trust it? Especially someone likely traumatised by it, Estelle disregarded that and saw him for who he was despite it all.

Rubbing the back of his neck to alleviate the tension, the male was flustered at her outward praise. Though he couldn't deny his heart soared at that, he didn't want to give her a chance to change the topic. So, pulling his hand back down, he questioned, "What happened?"

Sighing, Estelle shrugged. "The war from my world. Aite had the power of persuasion, which isn't completely like mind control, but it was so powerful that it's virtually impossible to stop yourself. I was in a dark place and lost a dear friend, a fellow Cambion named Keres. He took that moment of weakness, and I fell under his trap for a few moons."

"His power eventually wavered, and I retook control over my mind, not before I did some pretty terrible things. I had returned to the dragons hoping they would help me shield my mind from him, and they helped. But, the memories of what I did under his control haunt me today."

Horror dawned on Shinsou's face, his eyes pained as they drifted towards the ground. His mind whirled at the revelation, wondering how she could even stand him with that type of history. The more the thought lingered, the more frustrated he got with the people he had met throughout his life. Why was it so hard for others to see him that way if she could? It should have been the other way around. Estelle had the right to fear him, yet at one point, he felt like she was the only one who didn't.

"Estelle. I am so sorry," He whispered back, finally looking up at her once he gained the courage. Surprisingly, the soft smile never left her face, yet he could feel her knowing eyes watching him, and he could tell that she immediately understood where he was coming from.

Shrugging, Estelle's tone remained delicate as she responded, "It's okay; I made peace with it. But I would rather not experience something like that again, and I don't know how I'd react. But rest assured that it's not because of you; I trust you."

Strangely, her words were more truthful than she had thought because the moment those words left her lips, Estelle felt as if she had come to serenity with that aspect of her life. She wasn't sure if it was because she had just told him about it, and that's where the healing had come from. But either way, she felt lighter than before.

"Thanks, Estelle."

Flushing at the sudden silence, Estelle quickly felt her mind scrambling to change the topic. Unintentionally coming out cheerier than she intended, she drawled, "Anyways, let us get back to training."

"Alright. Hey, Estelle?"

"Hm?" Estelle asked, turning around to face him again. She stilled as a small but excited smile drifted across his face, pushing back the urge to reciprocate.

"Mr Aizawa told me earlier that I would be joining Class 1A and 1B for training in a few weeks. I assume that if I perform well, I'll get to join the hero course."

'Wait! What?!'

Opening and closing her mouth like a fish, Estelle was flabbergasted by the news, temporarily shutting down her thoughts before they finally sunk in. A loud laugh quickly slipped past her lips, a beaming grin shining on her face as she joined his excitement. "No way! That's amazing!"

Satisfied with her reaction, the little smile dancing across his face bloomed into a broad grin. He began to jitter under the feeling as if he was going to burst. His work finally started to show results. He didn't want to get too ahead of himself, but he couldn't help it. He finally had a chance to show what he was capable of.

"Yeah, I'm a little nervous. But, I won't fail."

Unable to contain herself, Estelle forgave her actions as she pulled him into a hug. The male was struck still under the embrace, denying that Estelle had initiated the hug rather than him. His beam remained on his face, his arms finally coming up to return the embrace for a moment. Her voice came close to his ear. "I know you won't. You have put everything you've had into this. Mr Aizawa can see that too. Seriously, the progress you've made is exceptional. I do not doubt it."

Holding her tightly in appreciation, Shinsou murmured a soft "Thanks, Estelle" before leaning back slightly to get a good view of her. Biting his lips, the male fidgeted lightly before awkwardly asking, "Will you come?"

Surprised, Estelle mirrored his awkwardness as she examined him, "You want me to be there?"

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I? I said I wanted you to see me join the hero course. Though you seeing me actually become a hero would have taken the cake. I guess you being there when I get accepted will have to do," He responded, his eyes turning to hers in begrudging acceptance.

The pang that had hit her soul nearly swept Estelle off her feat. She hadn't realised how much he had wanted her to see him become a hero. Of course, he had mentioned it, but the look on his face made it clear that it was something he strived for, the feeling of accomplishment as he became a hero and looked at one of the people who helped him get there.

The thought made her smile; honestly, it was one that Estelle didn't mind partaking in. It would have been nice to see him graduate and join heroship, and she could already imagine the pride she would feel. But joining the hero course would have to do. It was already a significant step towards his dream.

Nodding, Estelle's voice was filled with promise as she answered, "Of course, I will. I won't miss it for anything."

Giving a tender smile of his own, Shinsou gruffed, "Good; it'll make me even more determined."

"Dark spirits were spotted around Kyushu; I watched them for an hour. They were acting strange, so I recorded a clip, and I'm sending it over now."

"Thank you for the help; I'll look at it."

Hanging up and watching the video, Estelle scowled as she observed two beasts scurry around the empty area as if they were looking for something. Keeping her eyes on the darklings, her mind raced as long strands of black exited their bodies and entered the nooks and crannies of the pavement.

It looked like the gas had evaporated in the sun, but Estelle knew better. Glaring, her fingers tightened around the device as they spread their disease across the ground.

They were laying traps.

Hissing through her teeth, Estelle was entirely familiar with the process. It could lay beneath the ground undetected. When an unsuspecting Cambion or Spirit crossed it, it alerted them as it released poisonous strands of black, incapacitating whoever was standing above it.

Knowing she would have to send spirits there to deactivate the traps so no unsuspecting civilian got caught in the crossfire, Estelle internally wondered if they had remembered the protocol for spirit traps.

It was odd, but Estelle still ordered her squads to train all the new arrivals. Whenever she questioned her comrades on what caused them to act like they hadn't fought in years, she was never given a concrete answer.

It just wasn't possible for them to forget.

But they had.

And the knowledge bugged her.

She pushed the thought away as she headed into her bedroom to grab some gear. As soon as her body passed the doorway, Estelle was suspended when her foot kicked something, the thudding noise catching her attention instantly. Raising a brow at the box, which had now slid to the middle of the room, Estelle took a few steps to peer at it more closely.

Picking up the box, Estelle immediately noticed how it had been intricately wrapped with great care. Placing it onto the bed, Estelle scanned the ribbons, the colour reminding her of Katsuki as she cautiously opened it. Would it be possible for Nyx to give her something at the dorms? No, Estelle had prepared for that; the sirens should have blared if there had been any intruders. Maybe she missed something?

Deciding there was no point debating on it, Estelle released the ribbon from the confines of its knot. Slowly lifting the lid with curious eyes, Estelle tensed as she instinctively prepared for something to happen. Sighing in relief that nothing did, she peered into the abyss, her eyes closing in comfort that it had nothing to do with her worries. Cheered that it wasn't a hidden warning, Estelle immediately pulled out the box's contents.

And then the gravity of what she was seeing slammed into her stomach.

Staring incredulity, Estelle wondered if she had suddenly been hurtled towards an alternate dimension as she scanned the first item. Her eyes could not part from it, glued to the white petals shining in the light, looking too pretty to be in her hand.

"A white rose?" She mumbled, softly stroking the petals as her mind simmered in perplexity. Though she was glad it wasn't a red one, the colour resembling blood too much to enjoy the beauty of it. Estelle had disregarded it when Shoto had given her one, mainly because the act touched her so profoundly that she ignored it for a while. Eventually, she had to bin it, the colour grating on her to the point she couldn't sleep. This was clean and innocent, and Estelle found that she quite liked it.

Her eyes trailed back to the box, immediately catching the envelope within. It begged her to open it, yet she hesitated before lifting it out of the package. She unfurled it, glad nobody was watching how slowly she was doing such an action; she shouldn't be scared of a damn letter. But, she was unsure if she should even be opening it, worrying that the move would be one she would regret later. But she couldn't help it, her curiosity getting the best of her.

Releasing the paper from the envelope, Estelle instantly noticed how beautifully the words had been written. The handwritten letters were so neat that she cringed at the difference when she mentally compared them to her own. Estelle's writing was much like a child's since she had never really needed to write much. The only reason the otherworldly female was literate was that Nyx wanted her to be able to create and read battle plans. She was glad for it; otherwise, she would have arrived here, and things would have been different.

My Lioness,

I told you I would give you a flower daily if that's what you wanted. But I know you're the type to ignore your needs and wants. But that's what I'm here for, right? So here's a shitty flower; it doesn't compare to you, but it'll have to do for now.

I don't want to hear a word about how I shouldn't be doing this because I don't care. Nothing you could say would stop me from getting what I want. So, don't be a brat.

Yours, Ruby.

Her knees touched the floor, her wide eyes staring at the pretty writing as if it were alien. Her heart lurching, backflipping and doing some crazy acrobatics to the point she couldn't breathe. Gasping as her hand lifted to her chest, Estelle tried to calm herself so that she could form coherent thoughts once again.

After counting her breathing with her eyes closed, Estelle furrowed her brows, staring at the paper as if it were about to disappear in her grasp. Katsuki had given her a letter, alongside a gift that conveyed he would provide for her and give her what she wanted if she asked.

He had stated his intentions.

It was like...Katsuki was courting her!

Slamming her head against her bed, Estelle let out a wild groan as she realised what he was doing. Estelle had assumed his words held no truth; she didn't want to believe it. Katsuki holding enough interest to actually want to court her? It still didn't make sense even after he explained it!

She should have known he would do more than tell her he wanted to court her. It was her own denial that stopped her from recognising it. It seemed so ridiculous! Didn't he know she wasn't sticking around?! Why would he still try?!

It shook her to her core. Estelle's mind raced as she tried to piece everything together. Katsuki Bakugo had confessed to liking her romantically and vocalised that he was fully aware she had felt the same, regardless of if she didn't know it herself.

Her heart stopped from her thoughts, a wild crash of terror beginning to rise that her toes curled from the pressure. Yet, the pit of warmth in her stomach was evident, and the conflicting feelings felt like they were playing tug-of-war in her mind. How could she have emotions so far apart for the same thing?! It didn't make any sense, which only piqued her panic further as the truth of his words finally began to sink in.

Estelle became more aware of how close they had gotten to each other as the days passed. The numerous nights spent together, how Katsuki would console her on her worse nights, and how Estelle would do the same for him. The outings they had experienced together, spending time for no other reason besides just wanting to.

It was purely unnecessary. Every 'relationship' Estelle had provided logical reasoning, like Shinou's training, her times with Wolf, and her other comrades. There was never one where she simply was like with Katsuki.

"You kissed me back."

"You like me too, don't you?"

Estelle was glad nobody was in her room to witness her blooming red cheeks, the memory playing like a catchy song. Forcing herself to take calming breaths to decompress her heartbeat, Estelle realised that she had never experienced emotions of this magnitude before. She had never bothered to explore any romantic connections, though she doubted she would have even if there were any.

Spirits had asked her to mate, but because of the dynamic of spirit relationships, Estelle always declined. She had never been a fan of the unbalanced aspect of owning another being, collaring them up and making them submit to you. The female had always wondered why they had never done it mutually, balancing everything and committing to each other. So, she just declined, and word eventually got out that Estelle would not take a mate. It had actually bolstered their opinion of her, so she didn't mind.

Then there was the other Cambion, who had offered to spend the rest of their days together. Estelle had known at the time that it wasn't out of love but loneliness. Being the last two Cambions in their world meant they would be isolated, and he had offered to spend it together. Estelle never gave him an answer, mainly because she had been thrown into another world, but she knew she would have refused.

There was too much history there due to the war. Estelle wasn't sure if she would be able to spend the rest of her life with him without guilt swallowing her whole. After all, she had killed his brothers.

Were her current emotions correlated? Was Katsuki right? Did she reciprocate his affection but is just unable to see it? Was it enough to even think about entering a courtship? Did she have a crush?

Grunting, Estelle read over the letter again before releasing a deep sigh. Ever since Katsuki's confession, Estelle tried her hardest not to think about it, mainly so she could keep denying it for as long as possible. But, now he had given her his first gift, her mind refused to listen to her, prodding away until she figured out her thoughts.

'What does it matter?!'

Gritting her teeth, Estelle allowed the paper to drift to the floor as she lifted her hands to her head, gripping her hair with the frustration she had budding inside her. Nothing could change even if Estelle somehow garnered affectionate emotions for him. Even if she liked him back, Estelle would leave in a few months with no plans to return. She would be alone in her world, back to isolation like her life had planned. What did thinking about it benefit?! Wouldn't it be better to leave it so nobody could get hurt?

She could already hear Ruby's voice in her mind, telling her to stop being so damn selfless. But, it wasn't selfless because Estelle was entirely selfish in that decision. She didn't want to know the answer to her emotions - not really, because acknowledging it made the truth worse and made the outcome a hundred times more painful than it had to be.

Demoralised by the fall in her stomach, Estelle dug her fingernails into her skull as she tried stabilising her thinking. If she genuinely liked him back, then she wasn't doing him any favours by entertaining it. Wouldnt the right thing to do be to prevent it? So he also wouldn't get hurt?

Snarling, the grip on her hair tightened as she began to pull. The otherworldly female knew it was too late; he had said it himself. Katsuki would be hurt regardless of her subsequent actions; there was nothing she could do about that. But, the thought of harming the blonde threw her into another turmoil she hadn't expected. It was the last thing Estelle wanted to do; Katsuki shouldered a lot for her, allowed her to fall on him in her darkest moments, and she couldn't return that with pain. Hell, Estelle didn't even deserve him! He was too good for her; Estelle could admit that any day.

The man had slid her way into her heart, it seemed. Here she was, trying to find a way that wouldn't inflict pain on him. She wouldn't be doing that if she didn't care, so clearly, she does. But how much?!

Gosh, this was going to drive her insane.

Taking a lungful of air and forcing her hands to depart from her hair, Estelle narrowed her eyes at the ground. Even if Estelle took the chance to entertain it, who's to say these emotions would last? They were teenagers, for god's sake! He would move on or get bored and find someone else, and where would Estelle be? Fighting for lands that weren't her home.

They were young. Katsuki couldn't possibly want to stick around their whole lives. She could already see him getting fed up with her, regretting his decisions, yet unable to leave. Yes, someone could probably put up with her for a few years, but after? If, for some random reason, Estelle remained here with him, would he be forced to stay out of guilt? Wouldnt Estelle just become an obligation rather than a want?

'Why am I even thinking about that stuff?!'

Even imagining all the different scenarios, Estelle felt the pain of the possibilities. The fact that she was even pondering about them wasn't lost on her. Still, Estelle didn't want to think about why. She couldn't know. It wouldn't do the two of them any good.

Estelle was fully aware of her previous thoughts of cherishing the time she had left with the others but to the point of allowing him to court her? That was on a whole other level! Yet, at the same time, she wanted to enjoy the rest of her time left with Katsuki, too. But how was she supposed to do that when her whole body flurries around him? Especially now that he had revealed the truth.

She could navigate it carefully. Enjoy their time, but keep Katsuki at friendship length. She didn't want to push him away, especially when the time was beginning to run out. But she couldn't pretend she wasn't leaving him, leaving them all.

It was going to be tricky. But Estelle could do it. Of course, she could.

It just wasn't worth the heartache. Katsuki didn't deserve for her to pull him along like this, regardless of what she felt. Katsuki deserved the world, but Estelle wasn't a part of it, so she couldn't give him what he wanted, no matter how much it ached. He was entitled to have better than her.

'God dammit, Katsuki. Why do you have to do this to me?'