Okay, so stephenie meyer did a piece on this already. We know how Rosalie chooses to tell Edward that Bella has "died". I am left with the feeling that Edwards' emotion is not fleshed out enough in the little bit that we get. I want MORE. I wrote this with the emotion that we get from the books and the movies. Edward had always said that Bella's death would mean the end of his life. This is how that would go in my brain.

Spiders were solitary creatures whose existence didn't bother other creatures. I sat immobile as a spider spun its silvery web in the moonlight. Truly it was a beautiful sight, and so reflective in the moonlight that I could only watch it finish it in desolation. I wondered if that spider had wanted company, or if the fact that its very nature made it predestined to be alone in this world.

Like I was.

As soon as the thought was formed, my infallible mind interrupted with an image. It was almost a rebuttal. Carlisle and Esme holding hands and smiling. Alice and Jasper wrestling in the yard near the river of our previous home, smiling mischievously and laughing. Rosalie and Emmett, dancing gracefully at their 30th wedding. The love reflected in their eyes was foreign to me because I didn't know what I had been missing.

It was now a cruel joke to know that I had tasted the nectar of Aphrodite only to have it taken away by my cruel nature. My family aforementioned had traits that would allow them their happiness. Stone skin, brute strength and immortality.

I brought Bella's face up in my memory. That last memory. It burned my mind like I was being burned by flames but I forced myself to remember her.

Bella

My mind caressed her name like she was a deity. She may as well have been mine.

Her skin was warm, colored by blood that set it off superbly. A breakable body encased in velvet, with a skeleton made like glass. Chocolate eyes that would make them weak in the knees.

We were too different to be together. I was too much a predator and her blood was too sweet. I couldn't trust myself to resist the siren's call of her blood.

So I sit immobile, watching a spider build its web.

My misery was such that I condemned myself doomed to walk among my family. They shouldn't see this. Most of the time I lay still, allowing the pain of this separation wash over me with splintering agony and bristling silence. When Esme had asked me to stay, Alice had intervened, saying I would cause her more pain if I stayed.

She called every few months to make sure that I was alive, if you called it that, and made sure I was hunting properly. Most of these calls I would allow to go to voicemail, but I would answer if Alice rang. I promised Bella that I would not see her, that I would be as though I never existed, but the hope was there that there would be such a reason that I couldn't not respond

But those calls had not happened yet. And It was getting harder to stay away.

The pain was like withdrawal. I could feel the draw of her pulling me back to Forks, asking me to come back to her. The intoxicating presence of Bella's time had left me with a fix that I was desperate to satisfy. Nothing could heal the hole she had left behind.

I had to leave her human. I would not doom Bella to our life. Her skin should not frost, her eyes grow red with blood. She should get what we all had, a human—-

A buzzing sound in my pocket irritates me. I pulled out my phone, hoping for Alice. No, it's Rosalie. Mute.

The buzzing happens again. Immediate. Irritating. Demanding.

I sighed and pressed the allow button. Once Rosalie had a thought in her mind, she rarely let it go. It would be better to give in and get back to my peace.

"What" I said, deadpan. This was going to get old quickly.

"Why hello Edward." Her voice made my name a curse, though I could truly care less about how she felt, "long time no see, how's the weather where you are at?"

Rage brushed heat down my spine and I spoke through my teeth "five seconds Rosalie, Five. What is it you want?"

"Humph, so touchy brother. I thought you would want to know that Alice was in Forks. But maybe I was—"

"WHAT" I growled, rage coming back into full force. For a second, my mouth tasted hot and steely.

Alice had promised she would not look for Bella. She would not interfere, though she disagreed. Bella would only be caused more pain when she realized that she was not going to see everyone. It would fill her head with notions of immortality and hope that would be futile. Her pain….

Alice would suffer for this.

"She went to help Charlie, Edward, not Bella." Rosalie began but I was too angry to allow her to continue.

"Yes Rosalie, because Bella will stay away while Cullen is in her home." There was venom in my words, but I didn't care. "She doesn't want to know how we are, where we are and if she can come see us! Alice doesn't give a damn if we cause Bella more pain? She said, no, promised she would stay away from her!" I was shouting, animated with anger.

"Calm down Edward. She will not be seeing Alice."

"Did she move to Florida with Renee?" I spewed.

"No, Edward, she didn't". I was confused by Rosalie's tone. It was almost conciliatory. Comforting. Her words no longer meant to cut, but to soothe.

Why would she speak to me this way with our common animosity? I knew that Bella was still in high school. She was a Junior when I had left her. Renee and Phil were the only other people who she could have moved in with…

The horror of Rosalie's crisp words dawned on me.

If Alice was going to see Charlie, something was very wrong.

I stood abruptly, stirring up clouds of thick dust. The spider scuttled away hurriedly, startled by my instant movement.

"Where is Bella, Rosalie?"

She spoke, but I didn't hear the words. All of the sudden I was numb.

A thought occurred to me. I dialed a different number, a forbidden one. The conversation was on autopilot. Once the conversation was over, I deliberately crushed it into dust.

Rosalie's unbidden words came to mind once more:

"Bella killed herself. Jumped off a cliff. Alice went to see what she could do to help Charlie with the funeral arrangements—"

No.

NO

NO!

Bella could not be dead. Alice had not seen this! I remembered the vision of Bella's pain and moaned at her agony.

Edward, you know this will hurt her. Her feelings for you are strong and you are meant to be together. Don't do this.

Another memory. Her face on the path when I left her "Dont do this" she had whispered.

I was wrong. Bella had shown me over and over that her human love wasn't feeble and weak. Her love had been strong and withstand trial and tribulation. I had allowed my ideals to cloud my perception of what was best for us. Oh Bella.

I am so sorry.

Every breath I took in this world without her was too much. I felt claustrophobic, as though the air would kill me. Pain fissured through me, cracking my ribs, fracturing my tormented soul until I felt as though death would be a blessing.

Juliet had been right to die after Romeo. No existance was worth this torture. Bella was dead.

I would never see her again. Never smell the fragrance that came off of her pale, alabaster skin. Never hear her speak my name.

Through my thoughts, I heard a strange sound sucking the air and a thud. The sounds of more insects scuttling away from the noise. I heard the faint sounds of people laughing and dancing in the streets below.

My eyes were wide with shock and I forced them to blink, though they didn't need to. The sound was my lungs sucking in air, panicking as though a trauma had happened. The thud was my stone legs hitting the floor.

Another memory. Bella and I are watching Romeo and Juliet.

"You don't irritate the volturi. Not unless you want to die."

For a second. The briefest second. I tried to imagine living without her. To live eternity with this pain. A second was more than I could bear.
Would Rosalie be able to live if Emmett was killed? What about Carlisle? Alice?

Alice!

She would see this now. My pain and devastation. I was no longer upset about her being in Forks. She would be able to help with anything Charlie needed now.

My family was stronger than I. I could not live any more. I felt numb and raw. Two different exsistances at once.

How had Juliet felt when the dagger had punctured her skin? Relieved? Eager? Tormented? Desperate? In death they had been reunited.

Carlisle believed that there was an afterlife for our kind. I did not. It was too much to believe after murder and other countless attrocities that we would be allowed in any sort of heaven.

But….

What if Bella was waiting for me to come?

In the end there is only one choice…

I stood strong, now that my final days had purpose. I had to get to volterra.

To see the Volturi.