"All right, shrimp. Listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once."
"'Shrimp'? I'm like two feet taller than y- ah," Remilia poked me on the forehead, interrupting me.
"Don't think I'm going to let you laze around just because you're a feeble little human," Remilia lectured me. "You're going to perform the same amount of work as everyone else in the Chess Club, maybe even more, if I feel like it."
I shrugged Remilia's finger off me. "All right, all right. What do you want me to do?" I asked.
"Hm… for now, just go about your normal day, whatever that entails. We'll convene at lunch and acquaint you with the other members, maybe we can even get you started on your first assignment as well."
"Woah wait, already? Shouln- ah," Remilia poked me on the forehead again.
"I already told you I wasn't going to let you laze around! Pay attention! That's the first rule: always listen to the club president!" Remilia pointedly flapped her wings, which kicked up a considerable amount of dirt.
I shielded my eyes from the debris, when I looked back Remilia was already flying high in the air above me.
"I'll see you at lunch, human," she spoke with a strong sense of foreboding, before soaring off.
Finally, I was alone, well and truly alone. I let out a breath that I hadn't even realized I was holding. What had I gotten myself into? Me? Joining the Chess Club? What universe even wasthis?
Life would definitely be a whole lot different from now on, that was for sure. However, I put those thoughts to the side for now, I had a class to attend after all. Thankfully, Mrs. Yakumo had graciously decided I'd been through enough over the past 24 hours and postponed changing my schedule to tomorrow. Still, since Wakabayashi was gone, that meant someone else would have to take his place in my homeroom.
I wondered who it would be. Hopefully not someone weird, but deep down I knew that would be exactly the case.
My question wouldn't go unanswered for long, as soon enough I reached the door to my classroom. I entered, and immediately noticed that everyone was casually socializing, the substitute nowhere to be seen. A lot of the students stared at me as I came in, some groups began whispering among each other while occasionally shooting glances towards me.
Great, that won't be going away anytime soon. Still, where's the sub? Shouldn't they have gotten here by now?
"You're right, the teacher has yet to arrive for some reason," a voice to my side spoke.
I turned towards the source of the voice and caught sight of Satori Komeiji, who was sitting at her desk and gazing up at me with her usual, emotionless expression.
Was she talking to me?
"Yes, I was," Satori said.
Oh right, I forgot about that.
Satori Komeiji was easily one of the most controversial students at the school. Her ability to read minds and her enigmatic personality made it very difficult to make friends with her and caused her to be quite unpopular. Despite that, I heard that she was fairly polite, if a bit mysterious, and that she got along great with animals. She apparently had two "pets'' who attended this school as well, Rin Kaenbyou and Utsuho Reiuji. Fun fact, her ability meant that she had to go to a separate room during tests so that she didn't accidentally hear the answers from other students.
"Wow, that's a pretty accurate profile. Have you been stalking me?" she asked, far too casually.
"Um, n-no. Sorry, it's just a thing that I do," I replied, embarrassed. Now I could see why it was so difficult to make friends with her.
Satori looked down at her desk, a forlorn look on her face. "Yeah…"
"No wait, I didn't mean it like- you know what, I'm just gonna leave," I said, ashamedly.
If I stayed any longer I might have ended up thinking about something I regretted, like the fact that I had a magic bomb in my chest.
"What?" Satori asked, a shocked expression on her face.
"Aw, crap. Hang on, I can explain!" However, before I could, I felt a cool gust of air as the door opened behind me.
"All right, everyone. Please take your seats, I apologize for being late."
I jumped as I heard Komachi scream, "Noooooooooo!"
I whirled around to see who came in, and instantly understood Komachi's reaction.
"Please keep your voice down, Komachi," Ms. Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu, who was apparently our substitute teacher, reprimanded.
Ms. Shiki was one of the Yamas, if you couldn't tell by her title, who were basically beings that judged where you ended up when you died. Although, I guess she had enough free time to be a part-time teacher as well? (I dunno, just roll with it.) Anyway, Ms. Shiki was stern, but not necessarily unfriendly, and she had a genuine desire to see people succeed, which was more than what could be said about the teacher who came before her. Still, her penchant for constantly preaching to everyone hadn't exactly made her popular among the student body. From what I heard, her lectures were sometimes so long that there was barely any time for her to actually teach anything.
"Once again, please take your seats. That includes you, Adam Coates," Ms. Shiki said.
"Ah, right. Sorry," I gave Satori one last look, who continued to stare at me in disbelief, before heading back to my seat.
Please don't tell anybody. For once, I hoped Satori heard what I thought.
As I walked to my desk, I noticed that the seat beside me, where Patchouli sat, was completely empty today. I thought it was strange at first, before I remembered that Patchouli had technically damaged school property and stolen from another student when she broke into Aya's locker yesterday. Even though it was for a good cause, she probably still got detention for it.
"Now, I understand that all of you may have a few questions," Ms. Shiki began. "But before we get to that, allow me to introduce myself. For those of you who don't know me, I am Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu, and I will be your new homeroom and math teacher, in place of the late Wakabayashi. I know my name and title are a bit of a mouthful, all of you may shorten it however you wish when addressing me. So long as it is not harmful or offensive, I do not mind."
To illustrate her point, Ms. Shiki turned and wrote her name out on the chalkboard behind her, along with several potential shorthands such as "Ms. Eiki", "Ms. Yamada", "Ms. Shiki" and so on.
"Now that that's out of the way, let's get on to the main topic at hand. Yes, unfortunately, Mr. Wakabayashi has passed away and will not be returning," Ms. Shiki explained, as if it were somehow a tragedy that no one would ever see Mr. Waka again.
Ms. Shiki narrowed her eyes. "By the way, I have yet to judge Mr. Wakabayashi's soul, so don't ask me about that. Anyway, we will be having an assembly later today for the sake of mourning. If any of you need grief counseling, please speak to me and I will direct you to the school's therapist."
"Also, as I understand it, there have been many rumors floating around that Mr. Wakabayashi was murdered. That is simply untrue, and I will not tolerate such false claims being spread in my class. Mr. Wakabayashi died in an unfortunate accident while dealing with magical forces that he was unprepared and under equipped to handle, that is as far as it goes."
"In addition, I'm sure you've heard rumors about me as well, no doubt about how I like to lecture and scold anyone who crosses my way. Again, these rumors are untrue, my lectures serve as a way to guide the impressionable youth, and everything I say is blah blah blah blah…"
I sighed in annoyance, though I couldn't say I didn't expect this.
At last, mercifully, after what felt like eons, the bell rang. I had never seen Komachi sprint so fast in my life.
"Komachi! No running!" Ms. Shiki called out as Komachi sped past her.
The rest of the students sluggishly pulled themselves from their seats, no doubt exhausted after Ms. Shiki's extended lecture. I managed to will myself to get up faster than most, though, as I still had to talk to Satori about what happened. However, before I could even set a foot out the door…
"Excuse me, Adam Coates, could you wait a moment?" I flinched at the sound of Ms. Shiki's voice, which I would no doubt hear in my nightmares for the rest of my life.
"Y-yes, Ms. Shiki?" I asked.
I resisted the impulse to get the hell out of there as fast as I could and never look back. Knowing that, if I did, Ms. Shiki would probably reprimand me about it to no end the next time I saw her.
"I thought I should inform you that Mrs. Yakumo notified me of your… unique circumstances," Ms. Shiki said.
"Yeah, I figured she did," I said. "Look, I have something important I need to do, so can I please go soon?"
"Of course, I won't keep you for long." Somehow I doubted that, but I still decided to listen to Ms. Shiki. "Just… keep in mind that I and the rest of the staff will do our best to help. I do my best to remain impartial in all matters, but please don't hesitate to tell me if anything is bothering you." Ms. Shiki's face was strained as she talked, as if she was struggling to hold something back.
"Uh… right, I appreciate it. Was there anything else?" I asked, apprehensively
"Yes, your crippling paranoia and obsession with fitting in will no doubt result in a life full of misery, please consider getting therapy before these issues become further ingrained," she said abruptly, before sighing in relief. "Apologies, I needed to get that out of my system."
"I-it's okay… I guess."
Ms. Shiki smiled. "Well, other than that you're free to go. I must get back to my post, so I'll see you tomorrow," Ms. Shiki bid me farewell, then suddenly burst into flames. The fire quickly dispersed, and when they did she was nowhere to be seen.
"Huh… that was… yeah."
I turned around and ran down the hall. Thankfully, I managed to catch a glimpse of Satori turning the corner just as I exited the room.
"Satori, wait!" I called out as I rushed to meet her.
Satori stopped and turned around at the sound of my voice. "Oh, hello again."
"Hey, listen, about what I said… wait let me rephrase that. About what I thought…"
"It's okay, I won't tell anyone. I promise," Satori reassured me.
"Ah, okay. Thanks," I responded, awkwardly. "Truth be told, that was the only reason I wanted to talk to you."
Satori hummed. "I am curious as to how it happened, but I won't pry."
"Well, since you already know about the bad part I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you the whole story. Actually, would it be easier if I just thought about it?" I asked.
Satori shrugged. "Do as you wish."
"Okay, well… get ready, it's a pretty wild ride." I closed my eyes and thought, about being late yesterday, about Patchouli and me tricking Mr. Waka, about joining the Chess Club this morning, basically everything that had happened.
When I opened my eyes again, Satori had the exact same stoic expression on her face.
"Uh, did it work?" I asked.
"Yes, I understand everything now, at least from your perspective," Satori confirmed. "That was… fairly complicated, as you said. I'm sorry you went through all of that."
I shrugged. "It's fine… well, actually it's not fine at all, my life is a complete mess right now. But I appreciate the sentiment. Anyway, thanks for agreeing not to tell anyone."
"It's no issue. Besides, who would I tell? It's no secret that I don't have many friends," Satori said, dejectedly.
"Oh…" Right, I had thought about that earlier, hadn't I? I felt bad for putting Satori down.
"Maybe I could be your friend?" I said, without thinking.
Satori's eyes widened. "Really?"
Ah, crap.
Satori looked sad again.
I mean- god dammit…
"You don't have to force yourself, Adam," Satori said, her eyes downcast.
"No, really! Don't listen to my stupid thoughts! Look, I have to go, but maybe we can hang out sometime?" I asked.
Satori seemed to think about it for a moment, then she smiled slightly. "I'd like that. But again, don't force yourself."
"O-okay, great! Uh… yeah, I'll be in touch, see ya." I gave Satori a light wave, and walked away.
"So long, Adam."
I sighed in relief once I was far enough from Satori, finally able to think freely. What am I doing? What am I doing? What the hell am I doing?!
First I had gotten myself involved with the Chess Club, then I decided to be friends with one of the least liked students in the entire school. What was I thinking? Was I sick in the head? Had I been poisoned with stupid juice at some point? I mentally kicked myself for being such an idiot.
Still, there was no taking it back, especially now that Satori knew my secret. Sure, she said she wouldn't tell anybody, but would that promise hold up if I made her mad? I would have to be careful about what I thought around Satori from now on.
My life was truly falling apart.
At the very least, my severe mental anguish caused my next three periods to pass before I knew it. Now it was lunch, which meant it was time to meet with Remilia.
I walked through the halls, sulking all the while, as I slowly made my way to the infamous Chess Club room.
"You there, Coates! Over- huh? What on Earth happened to you?"
I looked up and saw Remilia standing in the hall beside Sakuya Izayoi, the secretary of the Chess Club. Both of them looked concerned.
"Hey, Remilia," I rasped. "Just a little out of it, is all…"
Remilia sighed. "Now do you understand? A total drama queen, I don't know what Yukari sees in him."
"Hm… perhaps he's the type of person who needs to be pushed into a corner in order for his admirable traits to shine through," Sakuya suggested.
"No thanks, I've already been pushed into way too many corners to count," I said, indifferently.
Remilia rolled her eyes. "You should probably at least meet your fellow club members before you keel over, Adam." She gestured over to Sakuya. "This is Sakuya, she's our club's secretary."
"It's uh… a pleasure to meet you," Sakuya introduced herself with a clearly forced smile.
"I already know who you are. But nice to meet you too, I guess," I said, half-heartedly.
"Oh? I didn't realize I was that popular," Sakuya said, somewhat surprised.
Are you kidding me? The amount of people at this school who have had unrequited crushes on you are so high you could make a standing army out of them.
"Apparently, he's got a whole database of students in his head or something," Remilia explained. "You should've heard how many things he knew about Komachi, you'd think they were best friends."
"Really?" Sakuya asked. "That might be useful."
"Useful in a useful person, maybe." Remilia turned around. "Come on, let's go meet the rest of the team. Sakuya, please make sure Adam doesn't collapse in the middle of the hallway or something, I'm getting nervous just looking at him."
"Of course, President." Sakuya looked at me and nodded. "Let's go."
"Sure."
"You should feel lucky, human," Remilia said as we walked through the mostly empty halls. "It's not often that someone can join the prestigious Gensokyo High Chess Club. In fact, we're the only club in the school that has a guard!" she boasted.
"When she's not attending classes, of course," Sakuya added.
"Hong Meiling, right? I heard she sleeps on the job," I deadpanned.
Sure enough, when we got to the club room Meiling was asleep in her chair, snoring loudly. We stared at her for a few moments, before a metal butter knife suddenly flew through the air and bonked Meiling right on the head. She woke up with a start, and slipped off her chair in the process.
"Ow!" Meiling complained, rubbing the sore spot on her head where the knife had hit her.
"What did I tell you about napping at your post?!" Sakuya yelled, angrily.
Meiling shrunk back. "I-I'm sorry! Please have mercy, Sakuya!" she begged, fearfully.
"Go easy on her, Sakuya, we all have a long week ahead of us," Remilia said while rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Meiling, this is Adam, our newest member."
Meiling cautiously stood up and eyed me for a moment.
"Hm… he doesn't look like much."
"I'm standing right here, thanks," I pointed out.
"Oh, right! Sorry, I'm Hong Meiling, but you can just call me Meiling," She extended her hand towards me as she introduced herself.
"He already knows who you are," Remilia said. "And he probably also knows what classes you take and where your house is and what your pet cat's name is too, if I had to guess."
Meiling retracted her hand. "H-he does?" she asked, nervously.
"I don't," I clarified. "Why does everyone think I'm a stalker? I just keep an ear out, isn't that what all of you should do too? Considering you're investigators and all?"
"Don't tell me what we should and shouldn't be doing, rookie! In fact, that's the second rule: Don't tell the club president what to do!" Remilia yelled, irately.
"How very democratic," I said, dryly.
"You, shut up. Meiling, come with us into the club room," Remilia ordered.
"Oh, okay. But why?" Meiling asked.
"Because I said so," Remilia responded, bluntly.
Finally, the door to the Chess Club opened, and the four of us entered. Inside, sitting around a large table that took up most of the room, was Reimu Hakurei, Marisa Kirisame and Alice Margatroid. They stared at me as we walked in; Reimu maintained a neutral expression as she observed me, Marisa grinned toothily, and Alice just smiled slightly.
I was a bit surprised to find that these three were the only ones here though, as I recalled the Chess Club having ten members in total. I suspected Patchouli was probably in detention, but where was everyone else?
"So this is the guy?" Reimu spoke first. "He looks weak."
"And severely depressed!" Marisa added. "Seriously, shouldn't he be in Kasen's office?"
"He's fine," Remilia leaned over to me and whispered, "You are fine, right?"
"I'm fine," I lied.
"See? He's fine!"
Marisa raised an eyebrow. "Whatever you say, Pres."
"Hello again, Adam," Alice greeted. "I'm somewhat surprised you decided to join us."
"Well, it was kind of under duress," I replied.
"Oh. Well, regardless, I hope you'll like it here," Alice said.
"Oh yeah, you'll love it here, ze!" Marisa exclaimed. "We have pizza once a week!"
Remilia shook her head. "Why did I make you the treasurer? Those funds are supposed to be for our investigations…"
Marisa laughed. "Don't pretend you don't like my pizza parties, ze! You always eat the most out of everyone!"
Remilia's face reddened. "I do not!"
Reimu rolled her eyes. "She's just trying to make you mad again, Remi," she said.
"That doesn't make it any less annoying!"
So much for the "prestigious Chess Club".