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Butterfly and Moth
Chapter 34 - Undertow
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Senju Mito had once been the firstborn child of the Uzumaki head. For a few months, before she'd even been born, she was destined to become the next leader of her clan. The Whirlpool Isles, they belonged to her.
But on the day of her birth, her destiny changed, and instead of receiving love and power, she was cast out. Her twin sister was born only ten minutes after her. And those ten minutes changed everything. The fact that Mito was the first of the two to greet the world was enough proof for her parents and their clan that she was a demon. An impostor who tried to take the place of the rightful child, pushing it aside to enter the world first.
It was the destiny of the firstborn twin, a cursed being.
There had only been two options. Kill the impostor and evil spirit before it could possess the true heir, the secondborn. Or sent it far away, so that the child would be out of reach of its demonic grasp.
So Mito grew up on one of the smaller islands, so small that she and her caretaker were the only humans living there. It was a peaceful life. Peaceful and lonely.
As soon as she learned to walk, Mito explored every little part of the island, and she knew it all by heart. She knew it all, she saw it all each and every day. And by the age of 10, Mito had realised that there was no future for her on that island, no goal. It was all the same, and it never changed.
But when she climbed the highest cliff on her island, she just so managed to look across the sea, at another life far in the distance.
Longing to cross the ocean, Mito taught herself to walk on water. And then she left to explore that mysterious scarlet isle she saw at the horizon.
When she arrived there, she was only met with rejection. That girl who had her face was living a completely different life. And everyone was determined to keep Mito away from her.
The Uzumaki had to find a new plan. The ocean was no longer enough to keep the twins apart.
That was when they heard that Hashirama Senju was looking for a wife.
The Senju never believed in the curse of twins. They never cared about the old gods, and thus didn't see the corruption of Izanami and Izanagi as proof of a twin's evil deeds. To them, every child was a child of mother nature. So every child ought to be loved and treasured.
It was thus the perfect arrangement for everyone. The Uzumaki could get rid of that dark spot on their family tree. And the Senju could acquire their bloodline and sealing talents. It was a tradeoff Mito's family had been happy to make.
To them, it only seemed fitting that she would be married to the vessel of the ninth demon. A fated union, many would say. The demon daughter and the demon vessel, both tainted and cursed in the eyes of the Uzumaki.
And so it happened that Mito left the place that never wanted to be her home for good, never looked back. She became a Senju, the respected wife of Hashirama Senju.
That day, everyone had profited.
Tobirama was quietly listening to Inori and Hashirama chatting. His eyes never left the plate in front of him. A half-eaten ayu fish was staring back at him. Somehow, he couldn't help but feel more connected to his dinner than to the girl sitting next to him. The girl he was supposed to marry.
They were outside in the garden, which was lit up by a dozen lanterns. Tobirama and Inori were sitting at one side of the table, Hashirama and Mito at the other side.
His brother and Inori got along well and Mito too directed warm smiles at the Uchiha.
Tobirama didn't exactly feel like he was a part of it. And he certainly didn't know how to talk to her. So he simply listened. He listened and waited for the evening to be over. There was enough work waiting for him. Not only did he have to decide on an ambassador for Suna now that he was back in Konoha, but his brother also liked the idea of a mediator in other villages. And with the war over, Hashirama was looking at their foreign affairs and was set on improving them again.
Tobirama wasn't quite sure how that would ever happen. Only in the last year, Kumo had fought them over Suna's lost Jinchuuriki, Iwa had killed Kagami to steal his eyes and abducted Akari, and Kiri had been at war with them.
Relations were worse than ever. And before they started to fix their foreign affairs, they had to turn their looks inwards first, at the relationship between Senju and Uchiha. Hashirama liked to have his head in the cloud's of the future. But Tobirama wasn't sure if marrying Inori would truly improve much. At least not immediately. The Uchiha hated him too much for that.
His eyes caught movement, an insect that was fluttering around his head.
Tobirama caught it. He knew it was a moth, even though he hadn't properly looked at it. His hand tickled as the insect tried to get out again.
He slowly opened his hand, expecting it to fly away as soon as it could, likely right into the flames.
But it stayed, sat on his palm. Its wings were of a dull brown colour, and there was nothing fancy about it. And yet it managed to evoke all sorts of feelings and memories in Tobirama.
He thought back to the Luna moth. To Akari, and to the night it all started.
"It's gotten late," Inori next to him said. "I should get going."
It was like her voice startled the animal. It took off into the air, and then flew straight into the flame of a candle lighting the table.
Tobirama watched as its wings caught fire. It burned in mere seconds.
"You don't have to help clear the table," Mito said when Inori got up and grabbed the plates.
Inori insisted, and the two women vanished inside with the dishes, happily chatting on their way.
Tobirama took another big sip of water. He could feel his brother's eyes on him.
"I thought you wanted this," Hashirama said, voice low.
It wasn't that Tobirama Senju didn't want to marry Inori Uchiha. He saw the benefits of such a union. But Tobirama didn't need the whole family business and bonding that was supposed to come with it.
Inori was not his family. At least not yet.
"I do," he replied. "But you know I never liked family dinners."
Hashirama breathed in, sighed. Tobirama expected him to say more, but he remained quiet.
At least until Inori returned. Then he said with a smile, "I'm sure Tobi would love to accompany you home."
Tobirama met neither of their faces when he said, "I still have work to do."
One thing he did appreciate about his potential future fiancé was that she knew how to take hints.
So when Hashirama was about to insist that his brother take her, Inori said, "Uncle is waiting for me. It's probably better if I'm returning home alone."
Tobirama's thoughts wandered to Madara. He wondered whether the man would truly agree to this marriage. The cliff between the two was vast, and he really wasn't sure if it could ever be bridged. At least not by him marrying the daughter of the man he killed.
He couldn't decide which was worse, the fact that Inori was Izuna's daughter or the little detail that she was Akari's best friend. Both those thoughts made him want to trade places with the fish he'd stared at for most of the evening.
Inori left, alone.
Dinner was over, and Tobirama soon fled the table as well. Work had been an excuse, but that did not mean that he wasn't going to return to his office to look at some more documents.
Before Tobirama managed to leave the Senju compound, he noticed that Mito was following him down the hallway.
Once she caught up to him, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the nearest room where they could be alone.
The frown on her forehead was hard to miss.
"Don't mess this up," she told him.
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"The best marriages are those that have a purpose. And this arrangement between you and Inori is clearly one of those."
"I'm aware," Tobirama returned. "You don't have to tell me."
He tried walking past her, but Mito, despite being almost a whole head smaller, managed to block the door frame.
"I can tell that your mind is elsewhere. But preposterous admiration for a girl you cannot have will not lead to any good here."
"Don't," Tobirama quickly said. "I'm not admiring anyone."
"And yet you don't look at Inori the same way that you have looked at Akari. I have noticed, and so has your brother."
"Akari has nothing to do with any of this. So don't mention her name again. The way I look at Inori doesn't matter. What matters is whether or not we are getting married."
"Passion blinds the rational mind. Remember that."
He snorted, not quite believing the absurdity of the conversation. Mito had always enjoyed acting like his mother.
"My mind's rational enough. Besides, I already agreed to this wedding. So why are you even bothering me?"
"I just don't want you to make any mistakes here. This marriage is a good thing. Don't destroy it."
She stepped away from the door, and Tobirama didn't stay a second longer to continue the conversation.
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Tobirama's office had changed since he left for Sunagakure. Several small items had found their way on his desk and shelves. Pictures, a flowerpot, new pens in all sorts of colours.
They were almost indiscernible to anyone not utterly familiar with the office. But Tobirama spotted each change almost immediately, no matter how tiny.
A little box was sitting on the floor, half hiding under the desk. Tobirama had slid it down there after burying a picture of Inori's team in there, together with a decorative lamp he couldn't stand to look at.
It sparked the question where they would live once he and Inori were married. Was he expected to move to the Uchiha compound, live the rest of his life right in the middle of his former enemies?
A knock on the door disrupted his thoughts. It was Inori.
"How's work going?" she asked to start a conversation.
"Good," he answered shortly, hoping she'd come to discuss said work instead of private matters.
Inori approached, walked around the desk, and stopped right next to him to have a look at the papers in front of him. "Have you chosen an ambassador for Suna yet?"
"Not yet." He glanced at her. She was too close. So close that the scent of her hair reached his nose. Contrary to Akari, Inori almost always wore her hair down. "Anything I can help you with?"
She straightened again, and instead of looking at the papers, turned to Tobirama. "I was wondering whether you might want to take a little break. We could have some tea or coffee together."
"I don't need a break." Tobirama picked up some of the papers in front of him to sort through, giving off the impression that he was busy. He'd only had dinner with her the night prior. And as far as he was concerned, they had no reason to spend time together. Plenty of people married without even meeting their spouse before the ceremonies.
If Inori got the hint this time, then she chose to ignore it. "I was hoping we could get to know each other a bit better."
"Why?" he asked bluntly. It was like Mito had said, the purpose mattered, not their personal feelings.
His reaction seemed to irritate her. She shifted her weight from one leg to another before trying again, "Wouldn't it be nice to find out a bit more about one another? You know, considering we might get married."
"Listen," Tobirama started, putting the papers back down. "Either we get married or we don't. We are doing this for the sake of our clans and the village, not ourselves. Or are you not going to marry me after all if you find out that you and I don't get along well?"
"No, that's not it… I just wanted to get to know my future-husband a bit."
"You'll have plenty of time to get to know me once we are married." He glanced at her again, and the thought that those dark Uchiha eyes would accompany his life seemed too strange to imagine. And with a snarky snort, he added, "The rest of our lives, to be precise."
Tobirama quickly realised that there had been just a bit too much spite in his last comment.
Inori too noticed and left without saying another word.
He leaned back in his chair, rubbed his eyes. Upsetting her had not been his intention.
Tobirama expected not to see her again for the rest of the day, maybe even the next days as well, until she'd finally either meet him like nothing ever happened or with a good amount of passive aggressiveness.
But before he could go back to work, the door opened again, this time without a knock. Inori stepped back inside.
There was anger written all over her face.
"Listen," she now threw back at him. "Marriages need work and commitment. And even if this might be an arranged marriage and you really couldn't care about me any less, I'll still be your wife. And as your future-wife, I demand some respect."
Tobirama was too perplexed by her confrontational attitude to speak. So he simply listened as Inori continued with her lecture.
"I don't need you to love me. But I need you to at least try and like me. So you and I will spend some time together, because if you can't show me that you are willing to try and make this work before we are married, for Konoha, then I'm not sure I can do this."
Tobirama couldn't face her. Marrying Inori of all people was hard enough. But it seemed the girl was set on causing him even more trouble.
"Are you listening?" she asked.
"Yes," he mumbled, unimpressed. It wasn't enough yet that Inori was an Uchiha and the best friend of Akari, she had to be troublesome too.
Tobirama just wanted to be left alone.
And yet he ended up leaving his office to have tea with Inori.
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Akari was on her way to the market, a basket in one hand and a long shopping list in the other. Fuso was strolling down the road next to her with another basket in her hand, chatting happily about a meeting she had with friends the day prior.
"Akari!"
Akari immediately recognised the voice, and when she looked around, she found Inori sitting in front of their favourite tea shop, waving at her.
Tobirama was next to her.
Akari smiled, waved back, and increased her pace to walk off as quickly as possible.
She didn't expect Inori to jump up and run after her. But her friend did just that. And only a moment later, Akari found herself dragged to the tea shop.
"We were just having a cup of tea," Inori explained to Akari. "Why don't you join us for a bit?"
Akari couldn't think of anything worse at that moment. Avoiding Tobirama had been easy. But avoiding Inori was not.
She tried to sound casual yet decisive when she said, "I really don't have the time right now. Fuso and I have to run some errands."
"Oh, there is always time for one cup of tea!" Inori insisted, already signalling the waitress to come and take their order.
"No, really," Akari tried again. "We have to be back again soon. I have all these recipes that I need to test out today."
"It's still early in the day. There is plenty of time left."
Akari was going to resist more, but Fuso betrayed her by simply ordering herself a cup of fruit tea and a cookie. So Akari politely greeted Tobirama and sat down at their table.
An awkward silence ensued that was only broken when Inori started asking her questions about her dinner plans. Akari had decided to invite Inori and Riku for dinner and was ready to buy half the market to create her best, and first, three course menu ever.
But she didn't really feel like talking about her private life with Tobirama around. So she changed the topic. "Are you two taking a break from work?"
Tobirama looked away, Inori only nodded nicely.
More awkward silence ensued.
Akari allowed herself to look at Tobirama for a moment. She had decided not to tell him about the child, to not force him onto a path that he never wanted to take.
And yet she was anything but certain about her decision.
Because Tobirama would find out eventually. There was no way she could have this child without him knowing that it was his. And she couldn't leave Konoha and run, even if she had considered it. Konoha was her home.
Inori asked her a few more questions while Tobirama simply continued to drink his tea. Or rather, he emptied the cup in one big gulp.
"I have to go back to work." He left the money for the tea on the table, then walked off without looking at any of them.
Inori waved after him and in her sweetest voice called, "Alright, I'll see you later."
As soon as he was out of sight, Inori's forehead met the table in front of her and pained groans left her. She only got up again when she noticed people stare at her.
"We don't have anything at all to talk about," she told Akari.
Akari wasn't really surprised to hear that the two weren't getting along well. Inori was a chatterbox, and Tobirama the opposite.
They finished their tea while Inori continued to explain in great detail how her date with Tobirama had gone. Or more precisely, how it had gone wrong.
On any other day, Akari would have asked her friend to join her on her errands. But all Inori was talking about was Tobirama, and Akari was trying her hardest not to think about him at all.
And yet she invited Inori anyway.
"I swear, every time I try to make conversation, he gives me a one-word-answer. Literally one word," Inori complained while following Akari and Fuso to the market.
"I'm sure he'll warm up to you eventually," Akari said, and she did believe in her words. She wanted to believe in them.
"I hope so. You know that we wanted to announce our engagement on the day of Konoha's anniversary, right? And that day is awfully close. I was just hoping we'd get along by then, you know?"
Akari looked at her shopping list, relieved to have a good reason to only give Inori her partial attention.
"Have you two kissed yet?" Fuso asked, feeling much more excited to be talking about this topic than Akari. "Physical closeness is an important part of every good relationship."
Akari frowned at her cousin, but didn't bother scolding her. Instead she gave her attention to the cabbages in front of her, deciding which one looked the freshest.
"We haven't," Inori answered. "We've barely talked so far. Every time we meet, he just silently stares into nothingness."
"Maybe you should steal a kiss from him then!" Fuso suggested.
Akari rolled her eyes at her cousin's childish suggestion, until she realised that a kiss had been what started her relationship with Tobirama. That and the night they spent together after that.
She gave the vendor a few coins and packed the vegetables away, then turned to Inori. "Just take your time and get to know him a bit better. There is no reason to rush this engagement."
"But there is. We are doing this for Konoha. There is no better time for this than the anniversary celebrations. It's all about the message we are sending."
They continued down the market together, to buy some fresh fish. When they were halfway there, Inori suddenly stopped and grabbed Akari's arm.
"Can't we all go for a drink together? You know, you and Shouta, and Tobirama and I?"
Akari had to suppress a laugh. That had to be the worst suggestion she'd heard in a long time. And there was nothing on earth that could make her spend time with her fiancé, the man whose child she was carrying, and the fiancé of the latter who happened to be her best friend.
"He's your future-fiancé, not mine." Quickly she continued towards the fisherman's stall.
"Please, I am begging you." Inori followed right after her. "Just once or twice until things are less awkward between us. I just have to find out what to talk to him about."
"Can't you ask Hiruzen or Danzo? I'm sure they'll know how to talk to Tobirama."
"I don't want to ask them about relationship advice. Please? And, I mean, once we are married we'll all likely spend a lot more time together anyway."
Akari wasn't sure yet how she was going to avoid ever meeting her best friend's husband for the rest of her life. But that didn't mean she wouldn't try.
Luckily Tobirama was a workaholic and she could still hope that neither her nor Inori would get to see much of him.
"I'm not just asking," Inori added when Akari simply continued shopping and inspected the different fish the fisherman had to offer. "I'm literally begging you."
Akari couldn't. And as much as she tried to imagine how she would feel about going out with both Inori and Tobirama if she had not had a secret affair with the latter for several months, she couldn't do that either.
"Then maybe I can bring him to our dinner?"
Akari almost dropped the cabbage she just bought. "I'm not ready to cook for anyone who's not you or Riku."
"Oh, come on, Akari. I'm sure Tobirama isn't too demanding when it comes to food."
Akari thought back to the dinner at the Senju compound, and his comments on her onion chopping skills.
But her cooking skills weren't the problem. She didn't want Tobirama in her home. She didn't want to spend the whole evening with him, cook for him even.
"Do it for me. Please."
Akari didn't know what to say. She was still hoping to magically find a solution to all her problems. But at this rate, Inori and Tobirama would be engaged before her own wedding.
"I mean, if Tobirama wants to…" She finally gave in, knowing that Tobirama was no man to go to dinner parties, especially not if it involved his former secret affair. And she had high hopes that he was better at rejecting Inori's wishes.
Inori was delighted. She hugged Akari, her eyes sparkling with gratitude. Then she hurried off to convince Tobirama.
Akari was painfully aware that she was the worst.
She took a deep breath, telling herself that somehow, life would work itself out again. It always did. She turned back to the vendor, looking at him for the first time since she arrived at his stall.
The man had unkempt white hair, so long he wore it tied down. There was a smile on his broad face as he kindly asked her what she was looking for.
The man was selling pretty much anything fish-related. Products she'd never seen before too. Dried fish, fish sauce, marinade, different powders, salted fish, bones, skin. Even different kinds of bait and fishing rods. He had it all, except for fresh fish.
"I was looking for some fresh ayu," she told him. "I need two or three."
"Sorry, lady. The fresh one's all gone. Usually, you gotta order those a day in advance or come here real early. Can't stand here all day long in the summer's heat and sell the fish fresh. But I got both dried and salted ayu left. Can I give ya one of those?"
"Oh," Akari said, thinking about her options. The fish was the most crucial part of her dish, but she'd had no idea that fresh fish had to be pre-ordered.
When the man saw her hesitation, he said, "Tell you what, lady. I'll go back to my farm, catch you some real fresh ayu."
"I don't want to trouble you. I'll just have to come back tomorrow."
"I thought I'd get a nice dinner today," Fuso complained, and the man immediately insisted on going.
"I don't always get such a pretty lady as a customer," he explained. With a hearty laugh he added, "I gotta deliver, you know?"
Akari was still considering. She didn't really want to be treated in any special way, yet she'd really been looking forward to practising the dish. "Is your farm far away?"
"Oh no, just outside of Konoha. In the forest."
Akari knew of no farm outside of Konoha, at least none closeby. Still she gratefully accepted the offer, telling the fisherman that she'd accompany him.
He asked one of his merchant colleagues to watch his wares, then left together with the two girls. Akari wasn't too convinced that he would just leave it all behind.
"No worries, lady. We all know each other and do that all the time. It's no biggie. Say, you look well-dressed and all. Are you two shinobi?"
"We are from the Hyuuga clan," Fuso answered quite harshly, like she'd expected him to know. It earned her a dark glance from Akari.
"Hyuuga…" The man considered for a bit, not really minding the girl's tone. "That's one of the big ones, ain't it not?"
Akari, having been taught to be humble, answered, "Not really. At least not as big as the Senju or Uchiha.
"Ah, yes, yes. I've heard of those. The Hokage is one of those Senju, founded the whole village. What a crazy thing to imagine."
Akari was going to point out that the Uchiha and Senju had founded the village together, but the man was rather talkative and already moved on to the next topic.
"I wish I was shinobi too. I sometimes see your youth run up trees and walls. You know, just straight up. And then they'll jump down some roof and never break even a little toe."
They left Konoha together and followed a small path through the forest.
"You don't have to belong to a clan to become a shinobi," Akari said, mostly just to continue the small talk.
It was more than rare for a civilian to become a shinobi. The art of moulding chakra had long been secret and only shared among family members of the shinobi clans. Some civilians managed to figure out the basics, but Akari had never seen someone get as far as Riku had without proper instructions and training.
The man continued chatting, happy to ask Akari all sorts of questions. Until eventually, the rippling sound of Konoha's river became louder and louder, the soil damper and covered with bog flowers that were of especially vivid colours.
A little wooden hut stood by the river. All around it were ponds of all sizes.
Akari had never noticed the place before.
"I thought you had a farm," she said, looking around to find sheep or cows.
The man laughed again. "A fish farm. Over here we got the ayu. If you ever need some again, tell me in advance and I'll get you some wild ones from the river. They are fierce and you can taste it in the flesh. Makes it lean and firm. But I raised these with care, and they have an especially sweet flavour."
Akari didn't know much about fish. And she couldn't even tell if the fish the man netted were truly ayu or not. Fuso was equally clueless.
He butchered the three fish right then and there, then carefully packed them for Akari.
The door of the hut opened, and a woman with a baby in her arms stepped outside. She looked at the man, her husband, then her eyes stayed on Akari and Fuso. She looked at them from head to toe before questioning who they were.
Akari politely introduced herself and Fuso.
"My wife and son, Jiraiya." The man beamed with pride at the sight of the little baby. He laughed when he said, "We got plenty of toads around here with the river and ponds. So we named him after that one guy in that folktale. Who knows, maybe one day my son will actually ride on one of these toads here."
He then insisted on accompanying her back to Konoha again and carrying the fish for her. Akari thanked him, not once but thrice and ordered more fresh ayu fish for the actual dinner, wondering whether Tobirama would take part in it or not.
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Two days later, Akari had her dinner plans all sorted out, contrary to her own life. The fact that she was pregnant was easy to block out. Because her life still continued as usual, and if she would continue to keep the child a secret, she'd soon be married despite her pregnancy.
She'd be married, but she had no idea what would come afterwards. Because Shouta was no idiot. As long as this baby would not magically grow at a much smaller rate, he would realise that it wasn't his soon enough. And what then?
But before she could try and find an answer to that question, she had to make it to her own wedding first. Her aunt had been anything but happy when Akari never showed up at the hospital. And she was even less happy when her niece told her that she would keep the fatherless child.
Hitomi still wanted her to end the pregnancy. And she liked to remind her that it was the only way for Akari to stay the heiress of their clan, the next leader of the main family. Because the main family allowed no bastards.
Akari brushed all those thoughts aside for now. She had started tackling life day by day. And right now, the most important part was to survive the upcoming dinner with her teammates. Because somehow, Inori had managed to convince Tobirama, and he had agreed to join.
She spent the morning training with her teammates, and when they decided to take a break, she gave scratching Tobirama from her evening one last try.
"Inori is bringing Tobirama tonight," she told Riku. Because it was no secret how Riku felt about Tobirama and the idea of him marrying Inori.
And Riku immediately showed the disbelief that Akari had expected. "Are you serious? I thought tonight was supposed to be just the three of us. Why would you bring that guy?"
"Oh, stop it," Inori said. She was already annoyed at the conversation she knew would come up again. This was not the first time Riku voiced his doubts about the whole arrangement. "You two are my friends. And Tobirama is the man I'm going to marry. Is it so wrong that I want you to get to know each other?"
"I already know the guy!" Riku returned. "And I know him well enough to know that I don't want to spend the evening with him."
"Get over yourself. You want to spend the rest of your life hating my husband?"
Akari quietly listened to the fight she had evoked. She had failed, so had Tobirama, and part of her knew that Riku wasn't going to succeed either.
"Don't call him that. You two are not married yet. You aren't even engaged."
"But we are going to be. And you as my best friend should support me. At least give him a chance."
Riku shook his head, still in disbelief that Inori truly wanted to marry Tobirama Senju. In his world, political marriages did not exist.
"You shouldn't have to marry him for your clan and the village."
"Akari and I are not like you. We can't all marry for love. Tobirama is a Senju and of the main family. This is objectively a good match for me."
"Cut that crap about him being a good match," Riku sharply returned. "There are more important qualities than one's social background."
Akari took a sip from her water bottle. She'd listened to this argument before, and part of her felt bad for bringing this up again. But sitting at a table together with Inori, Riku and Tobirama would be even more painful.
Inori hoped that they would all get to know each other better, become friends. Akari knew that would never happen.
The argument between the two continued. With a good amount of annoyance, Inori said, "Akari doesn't want to marry Shouta either. She does it because it's her duty. It's the same thing and I don't see you complaining about that."
"Shouta didn't kill her damn father!"
"Stop it!" Inori now yelled, loud enough for the children playing not far away to turn around to them. "Stop using my father as an argument. Please."
"Why? He seems like a pretty good argument to me."
"You don't understand," Inori said with hurt in her voice. "You are not responsible for a whole clan."
Riku hesitated. For a moment, he wasn't sure what to say next, where to go with this conversation. When he'd decided, he said, "If he's coming tonight, then I'm not."
With those words, he left.
Inori watched him go, then turned back to Akari, shaking her head in disbelief. Akari knew she'd technically done nothing wrong here. Riku would have found out sooner or later that Tobirama had somehow received a dinner invitation. It was better he learned about it now than right at the dinner table.
And still she felt guilt creeping up on her when she looked at her friend's face.
"It's not like I expected Riku to agree," Inori said. "But I didn't think it'd be this bad."
"This whole arrangement with you and Tobirama has happened pretty fast. I think he just needs more time."
"He's not the one getting married. This should be about my feelings, not his."
"I'm sure this is about you, Inori. He's worried that you might make a mistake."
Inori was still annoyed, and hurt. She glanced in the direction Riku had left in, but their teammate was nowhere to be seen.
"Am I making a mistake?" she asked, voice filled with doubt.
Akari knew that if she told Inori to not get married, it would be for all the wrong reasons. And if she told her to get married, that it was not a mistake, then she had to lie, both to Inori and to herself.
So all she could do was to tell her friend that she couldn't answer this question for her and go after Riku, making sure that he would at least come to dinner.
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That evening, Akari opened her door to find both Inori and Tobirama in front of it. Her eyes met his almost immediately, and while Tobirama wore his usual unimpressed look on his face, Akari knew that this evening had to be torture for him as well.
Though not as much as it was for her. Because Tobirama didn't know just how complicated their situation really was.
She greeted him politely, remembering all the times he'd rolled his eyes or snorted at her manners. This time, he simply greeted her back before entering the Hyuuga mansion and following Inori down the hallway.
Akari closed the door after them. Her heart sank, feeling like a mountain of stones was attached to it.
Fuso was already sitting at the table, greeting their two guests with freshly brewed tea. Akari had not meant for her to attend. But that changed when Tobirama joined the picture, and Akari needed someone to lighten the atmosphere. She needed someone who was not part of this chaotic mess.
She'd invited Hashirama too, but he was busy with work.
"Is Riku…?" Inori hesitantly asked when she saw that their teammate hadn't arrived yet.
"You know he's always late," Akari reassured her. "I'm sure he'll come."
Inori nodded, then nudged Tobirama with her elbow, signalling at the little bag he was carrying.
"There," Tobirama said, holding it in Akari's direction. He avoided looking at her, even as she took it.
"That's not how you hand a gift to someone," Inori protested, but Tobirama hardly cared.
Inside the bag was a small bouquet of flowers, a gift for the dinner host. Akari knew that Inori had picked it.
"Thank you. That's too nice of you," she said politely and put the bouquet in the middle of the table, just like the host was supposed to.
She showed them to their seats and offered tea. A short moment of awkward silence followed, but Inori quickly decided to bridge it by inquiring about dinner.
Tobirama stayed out of the conversation. His eyes wandered around the neatly decorated dining room. The Hyuuga mansion was always tidy and clean, but Akari's father had it all cleaned again when he heard that his daughter invited guests over.
And even when Inori tried to involve him, Tobirama made sure her attempts were all in vain by giving one of his one-word answers.
Akari was quite certain that the evening would be nothing but a catastrophe by the time her aunt informed her that Riku had arrived.
She hurried to the door, both relieved that their teammate showed as well as concerned whether Riku would do anything foolish like challenging Tobirama to a duel. The latter wouldn't exactly come as a surprise.
"I brought some rice wine." Riku handed her the bottle, and in a dry tone added, "I figured we'd all need that tonight."
They returned to the dining room, and Akari found herself sitting at the head of the table, with Fuso and Riku at one side, and Inori and Tobirama at the other.
Riku decided to kick off the evening by opening the rice wine and pouring a cup for each of them. Akari stayed for the toast, then excused herself to get the entree and, despite relating to Riku's sentiment a lot, poured her wine down the sink.
Summer rolls were waiting for her in the kitchen. Shouta's mother had said that those were foolproof. Though the most important part was the sauce, which was not foolproof at all. It had taken her five attempts until she liked the result.
Fuso was telling the others about the fisherman they met and his many ponds when Akari returned with the food.
The atmosphere in the room was more enjoyable than she had anticipated, and maybe the second round of Riku's wine helped.
"Summer rolls have always been some of my favourites," Inori said. Both Akari and Riku were well aware of her preferences. She looked at Tobirama and asked, "Do you like them too?"
Akari observed how Tobirama took another roll and inspected it with a blank expression.
"They are alright" was his verdict, and Akari wondered whether he meant summer rolls in general or hers specifically.
"What's your favourite food then?" Inori continued.
"I don't really have one. I eat whatever ends up on my plate."
Inori nodded, but the short conversation ended there. Silence returned to the table until Riku raised the bottle once more for another round.
Akari excused herself. She still had to make the final preparations for her main dish. Being a good host, she directed a short smile at all of them. Tobirama never looked at her.
Riku was busy pouring everyone another drink when Inori asked him if they should go and offer Akari a hand.
When Riku didn't answer, it was Tobirama who said, "I'll go."
"Oh, you don't have to. I can go," Inori said out of politeness.
"It's fine," Tobirama calmly answered, looking at Riku and the half-empty bottle of rice wine. "I don't really drink anyway."
With those words, he left the dining room to follow Akari to the kitchen.
"Family dinners must be a blast," Riku commented once he was gone. "You really want to spend most of your evenings with that guy?"
"Maybe he's just shy," Fuso chimed in, adding a happy giggle. The wine had already brought a rosy colour to her cheeks
"He's not shy. He's old," Riku snarled.
"He's not that old," Inori commented while slapping her friend's arm in disapproval. "Besides, he's a Senju. Just you wait, Riku. I'll remind you of this day in twenty years when you'll have more wrinkles on your face than my husband."
Riku laughed. "You wish."
"I'm not wishing. I'm telling you. Have you looked at the Senju? Sensei hasn't gotten a single new wrinkle in the last ten years."
"Then why did I find grey hair on Kumi's head the other day?"
"You know what they say, couples look more and more alike the longer they are together. She's probably just adjusting to your hair colour."
"Guess you are destined for early grey hair too then," Riku teased back.
"Say, lady Inori," Fuso slowly started, her mannerism suddenly much more reserved than it had been. "Are you really going to marry a Senju?"
Inori's eyes met Riku's for just a second. "It seems like I am."
"And your clan is not against it?" The girl continued to ask with genuine interest. "I mean, after all, the Senju used to be your enemies for hundreds of years."
"Some of my clanspeople will be against it. But the world will never become a better place if we hold onto our old values and refuse change."
Fuso was staring at the Uchiha heiress with big eyes, almost like she was having an epiphany.
The Senju and Uchiha had always been those who initiated change. Unlike the Hyuuga.
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The fish had to be freshly fried, so Akari was in the kitchen, filling a pan with oil. One fish after another found its way in there to take a hot bath.
It didn't take long and Tobirama entered the room. He closed the door behind himself.
"Need a hand?" he offered.
"Thank you for asking," she replied, trying not to give him too much attention. "But I'm fine."
She didn't turn around to look at him, but could clearly feel his presence, even when he just stood there, not saying another word.
He watched her for a while, before finally saying, "You are frying all of them separately?"
"I am."
"The first one will be cold by the time you are all done."
She listened, but continued doing what she had started, unsure why this man was suddenly standing in her kitchen.
Tobirama stepped next to her. "You could have told Inori that you don't want me to come tonight," he calmly said, voice low so no one would hear them speak.
"You could have told her that you don't want to come tonight," Akari replied, focused on the fish and her pan.
"I tried. It seems she doesn't really take no for an answer."
"That's something you should probably get used to. Inori hardly does."
He turned his head towards her, almost whispered in her ear. "You realise how awkward this situation is, right?"
Akari couldn't hold back a snort. "Oh, you have no idea," she said, more to herself than to Tobirama.
He looked at the vegetables and kitchen supplies scattered on the working area. The place looked awful, almost like an explosion had taken place. The only part in the whole kitchen that was not full of chaos were the five wooden trays that Akari had prepared. Several small bowls and plates with soup, salad and other side dishes were carefully arranged on them, and the only dish missing was the fish.
"Maybe we should tell her."
For the first time, Akari stopped what she was doing and turned to face him.
"Tell her," she repeated, making sure her ears had not fooled her. "Tell her what, exactly?"
Tobirama looked around. They could both tell that there was no one closeby, still neither of them felt completely comfortable having this conversation in the Hyuuga's kitchen.
"About us."
"Inori would never marry you if she knew."
"Why's that? This thing between you and me is over and you are engaged yourself. What happened between us in the past is no reason to reject this marriage."
"I know Inori. And I'm telling you, if you want this union between Senju and Uchiha, you cannot tell her."
He listened, but he did not agree. Instead he continued, "I'm not going to any more dinner parties."
"Tell that to your wife, not to me."
He grumbled at her comment, but Akari was already back to the fish, putting one after the other on its respective spot on the tray. Once she finished the first one, she gave it to Tobirama and sent him back to the dining room.
Tobirama quietly obliged.
"Tobirama," she stopped him after all before he could leave the room. He looked at her, waited. And then Akari realised that she had no idea what she'd wanted to tell him. Part of her wanted to find out how he would react if she told him everything. If, instead of telling Inori the truth, she would tell him the truth.
"You know, Inori is pretty easy to get along with," she said instead. "And she invited you here today because you are not exactly easy to get along with."
"What are you trying to say?"
"Just be nice to her. Ask her a few questions about her life. Show her that you don't feel completely indifferent about her and the engagement."
Tobirama didn't seem too convinced.
"And if words are really too hard, then just buy her a cup of matcha tea and some cake."
He nodded, then turned away and left.
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Riku's bottle of rice wine was empty by the time the evening ended, so was another bottle that Akari had taken from her father's storage. Tobirama had barely touched it, and neither had Akari. But Inori, Riku and Fuso were all giggling happily, chatting about all sorts of topics. Fuso looked like she'd been friends with them for years, and Akari knew that this was the magic of alcohol.
Inori finally checked the time and decided it was time to go home. Dessert was long gone, and while she was enjoying herself, she didn't want to bore Tobirama any longer.
"Is Tobirama accompanying you home?" Akari asked her on the way to the door.
Once more, Inori was ready to announce that she was walking home alone. But this time, Tobirama told them he would walk with her.
Inori was surprised. Riku annoyed.
They all said their goodbyes. And Akari watched as her best friend left with the man that she shared this intimate bond with. A child.
And maybe seeing them together hurt less than she had expected. And Akari had always known that there was no future with her and Tobirama. At least none that wouldn't completely disarrange their lives. And Akari liked her life. She liked having a carefree dinner with her friends, even if Tobirama was part of it.
She wanted everything to stay exactly as it was.
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The night was dark, with no moon visible up in the sky. But despite the late hour, Konoha's main streets were still lit up.
Inori was walking next to Tobirama, far away so that they wouldn't touch, yet close enough for others to see that they formed a unit together. They weren't officially engaged yet, but news always spread fast in Konoha.
"I'm sorry for dragging you along tonight," Inori eventually said.
"It's fine," Tobirama shortly returned.
They were walking down a fairly quiet road, past a little park, when Tobirama stopped. No one was around, so he continued, "I understand that you want to get to know me. And I respect that. But I don't really go to dinner parties. And Akari and Riku, they are your friends. Not mine."
Inori looked more hurt than he had expected, and suddenly, Tobirama wasn't too sure if it had been the smartest idea to tell her after she had drank all that rice wine.
But she only nodded and apologised a second time.
"Don't be sorry," he decided to add, worried she might start crying. He'd seen alcohol have that effect on women. And on his brother too. "It was a nice evening. I'm just saying. I'm marrying you, not your friends."
"I'm marrying you?"
"I thought that was the plan."
"Right," Inori said, looking up ahead. "That's the plan."
Tobirama could tell that she was not completely convinced of the whole arrangement yet, which he found strange. After all, it had been her idea to start with.
He thought back to Akari, the conversation he'd had with her. And he wanted to get along with Inori. He had to get along with her. Because he needed this wedding and marriage to be as simple as possible.
"You had quite a lot of that dessert tonight," Tobirama noted. It was the first thing that came to his mind when trying to come up with a light topic to talk about as they continued their walk to the Uchiha compound.
Inori stared at him, irritated by the sudden observation he shared with her. Still she decided to appreciate the attempt and engaged in the conversation. "Akari made it for me. She knows it's one of my favourites."
"I know a good matcha cake recipe myself." Tobirama wasn't too sure what he was even doing. He wasn't the type of man who tried to impress women. But if him baking a cake was what it took to keep Inori from dragging him to meetings with Akari, then maybe it was worth it. "It's from my mother. Maybe I can make some for you. Someday."
"Really?" Inori looked at him before stepping a bit closer. Without asking, she tucked her arm into his. "I'd love that."
It irritated Tobirama, the way she was so straightforward, even in public. He liked to think it was because of the rice wine, but he knew her enough to be aware that it was a character trait of hers that he'd likely have to endure.
With Akari, every touch, no matter how small, had always had such weight to it. Every touch they shared had been all wrong, and yet felt so right.
This was different. This was supposed to be right. But it felt wrong.
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The Uchiha compound was quiet at this hour. In the distance, the soft tunes of a koto could be heard. They became louder the closer they came to Inori's home, danced through the night like leaves in the wind.
"That's my uncle," Inori whispered.
Tobirama had no desire to meet Madara, so he wished her a good night and left.
Inori found her uncle sitting out on the veranda with the koto in front of him. He didn't say a word as she approached, nor did he stop playing.
She sat down next to him.
Madara finished the song before looking at his niece for the first time. "He walked you home?"
Inori nodded.
"Didn't think that guy actually had some manners."
She was surprised to see her uncle calm and collected. Usually the tension in the air rose as soon as anyone mentioned Tobirama's name too close to Madara.
But tonight, he simply continued playing peaceful songs on his instrument.
She sat next to him for a while, enjoying the cool air of the night, listening to the same tunes she'd heard all her life. Her uncle was good with the koto. Hardly anyone knew, but Madara liked music. Inori did too.
"Uncle?" Inori started when Madara had finished another of his songs. She'd meant to ask him this for a long time, but couldn't really find the right words. Even now, she was struggling. "Do you think that my father…"
The thought of Izuna had Madara's body tense. Even after all those years.
"Do you think he would disagree with me marrying Tobirama?"
Madara slowly put the instrument aside. "Yes, he would."
The words felt like a slap. A slap at her whole life. How was she supposed to marry a man when her father and uncle were against it?
"But that doesn't mean that he'd be right," Madara suddenly added. "Izuna grew up in different times, and with different values. He never got to live in this village, never got to know peace."
Inori carefully listened. It almost sounded like her uncle might approve after all.
Madara turned to face her and gently brushed one of her dark strands of hair back. "I'd do anything to protect you, Inori. I'd even marry Tobirama myself if that's what I had to do."
She chuckled at the images that popped into her head. That would have to be the worst marriage arrangement ever.
He ran his thumb over her cheeks, his black eyes focused on hers. Inori loved those eyes. Not only because they were the only part of her father that remained for her, but because they were always full of love for her. Those eyes had watched over her for all her life. And she knew that she could trust those eyes.
"I respect that you are trying to improve clan relationships," Madara continued. "But as your uncle, who promised your father that I'd protect you with my life, I have to tell you that you don't have to do this. There might be tension between us and the Senju right now, but it will resolve itself eventually."
"Do you really believe that?" Inori asked. "Because it didn't sound that way the last time I heard you talking to Hashirama."
"I'll make sure it does."
And maybe that was the problem, Inori reflected. She knew her uncle would do anything to preserve the peace. The peace that had protected her life all these years. Even if that meant slitting the throats of their own clan members who threatened that peace.
Marrying Tobirama certainly looked like the lesser evil.
"I don't want to just sit around and wait, hoping that things will just get better eventually," she told him. "This is our village. We founded Konoha together with the Senju. And marrying Tobirama… I really don't think it's the worst." She gave her uncle a reassuring smile. "He's a good man. And I know that you know it too. He might have killed father. But he did it for the right reasons. He was protecting his own life, his family. You would have done the same, no?"
Their conversation was disrupted by a sudden knock on the door that quickly turned into urgent banging. Inori and Madara hurried to the door and opened it to a woman from their clan, a few years younger than Madara himself.
"Yui is missing," the woman said, eyes overflowing with fear. Madara and Inori both knew the little girl well. She had just started going to the Academy the year prior. "She hasn't come home for dinner. It's so late already. We searched everywhere."
She was speaking quickly and looked like she would break out into tears any second.
"Where's your husband?" Madara asked.
"Still searching. I've been to all her friends, to every single playground and park. No one knows where she is."
Inori put a hand on the woman's shoulder. "I'm sure she's fine. You know how children are. They've probably been playing in the forest and forgot the time."
"But her friends were all back home for dinner. And that was hours ago! They said that Yui went home too."
Inori and Madara shared a look. It really was late already. They had to act quickly. After all, the Uchiha were no strangers to child abductions.
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Akari was walking around the Hyuuga gardens, a few small lanterns lighting her path. Fuso was with her, still chatting and giggling about the evening. If she had got to decide, they would have a dinner party once a week.
"Can you go and check if Shouta is still awake?" Akari asked her. "I'd like to speak to him."
"At this hour?" Fuso questioned at first, but then did as she was told and left to find Akari's fiancé.
It didn't take long until she returned again with Shouta following her. There was a big grin on Fuso's face, though she didn't dare commenting on the two meeting in the gardens late at night when she saw the dark looks Akari directed her way.
Akari asked Fuso to leave, and shortly after, it was only her and Shouta.
She carefully looked around, searching for any sound, any chakra signature that would indicate someone was around to overhear their conversation. But there was no one there.
"It seems the closer our wedding gets, the less I see of you," Shouta said jokingly, though there was truth to it. Akari had started to avoid him.
"I'm pregnant."
The words lingered in the air around them.
She hadn't meant to be this blunt. But she had to force the words over her lips, better too blunt and too early than not at all.
"What?" Shouta returned, clearly still hoping he had misheard.
Akari couldn't get herself to repeat it. So instead she said, "I'm sorry."
"Pregnant?" he repeated. "How? Who?"
"I can't tell you that."
"What do you mean, you can't tell me? You have to know, after all, you…"
Akari shook her head. Maybe she should have given this more thought. But the truth had to come out eventually. And between her father, Tobirama and Shouta, the latter's reaction scared her the least.
But there was another reason for her sudden confession. A dark one that she was not proud of.
Akari knew that there was one solution to all her problems. A solution that would allow her child to live. She was holding onto it, even when her rational mind told her that it was utter nonsense, impossible.
Shouta was standing in front of her, staring at her with a face of utter disbelief and confusion.
"Is this some kind of joke?" he asked.
Akari wished it was.
"I'm sorry," she said again. But she knew that even a thousand apologies would not be enough. She had to give him more. She had to evoke sympathy. "I really am. I made a mistake, I know that. But it happened before you and I got engaged. You and I had barely talked and didn't really get along. And I didn't want that to be my future. So I…"
"I can't believe this," Shouta mumbled. "You have got to be kidding me."
Akari stayed quiet for a bit, giving him time to process.
"Who's the guy?" Shouta asked, like that was the most important part.
"I can't tell you."
"What do you mean you can't tell? Surely you know who it is or have you been with that many guys that you really can't tell?"
She decided to ignore the insult, acknowledging that maybe she deserved it. Instead she simply repeated a strong, "I can't tell you."
"Why?"
"It doesn't matter, does it? I'm pregnant. And you are my fiancé. Those are the only two facts that matter."
"Have you talked to your aunt Hitomi yet?"
He didn't directly say it, but Akari knew what he was suggesting.
"I have. But I'm not killing this child."
"Well, you should be," he returned, voice getting sharper. "What will our parents say? You might be from the main family, but that doesn't give you the right to -"
The next words had already been on the tip of his tongue, but Shouta stopped himself, swallowed them back down.
"You can't have this child," he said instead, sounding just slightly more collected.
"I'm having this child."
He shook his head in disbelief. "So why are you here? To break our engagement off?"
Akari stayed quiet. She couldn't say it. She couldn't suggest that one solution. Because she knew it was wrong. Unfair. And yet she wanted it.
So she gave him another truth. Words that she could actually speak with a good conscience. "I don't want to break off our engagement. I want to marry you. But as much as I want to, I can't undo this anymore. Not if that involves killing my own child."
Shouta looked back at her. Eyes pained, his forehead unusually wrinkled. "You want to marry me. And you want to have another man's child."
Again silence followed. Silence in which Shouta processed, as best as he could.
And then he decided to get to the heart of the conversation. To the reason why Akari spoke to him instead of her father.
"What are you asking of me? Tell me."
"My father would forgive me if this was your child," she finally admitted.
Shouta laughed. It was one of those desperate laughs of a man going slowly crazy. "You are asking me to raise another man's child as my own?"
Before Akari found the right words to continue this conversation, her senses alarmed her of someone approaching. Quickly she raised a finger to her lips, signalling Shouta to be quiet.
Not a single sound could be heard in the gardens. It was all the way in the front yard, fairly far away from the gardens they had met in. But Akari wasn't going to risk anything.
So they decided to continue the conversation some other time.
Maybe it was for the best. Maybe she too had been intoxicated by the evening with her friends, even if that was not due to the rice wine. But once her pregnancy became public knowledge, the fact that she was carrying a bastard, the life she treasured so much would inevitably change.
Akari went to the front yard, wondering who would come to their compound this late into the night. Shouta followed her, and she could only pray that he would keep her secret. At least for now.
"Has something happened?" Akari asked once she saw Hiruzen and Danzo standing in front of the main building, both dressed in shinobi attire. Several of her own clan members were getting dressed and then joined them. A quick glance at them told Akari that it was mostly scouts that were being called to work.
"A child's gone missing," Hiruzen told her. "We come with orders from the Hokage to deploy several search squads."
Akari didn't have to think twice about helping. And so she shared one last glance with Shouta. She couldn't read the look on his face. But at least for the rest of the night, she allowed herself to forget about this part of her life one last time.
They had to find the missing child.
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Some suspected that Yui Uchiha had been abducted. After all, the Uchiha's eyes were valuable, even if the girl hadn't awoken the Sharingan. But the search barely lasted an hour.
She was found on the riverbed just outside of Konoha, drowned. And all attempts to revive her proved futile.
The parents were devastated, friends and family grieving.
The Uchiha clan reacted with sympathy and support. A tragic accident, everyone agreed.
At least the public. Tobirama saw the dead body, and he was present during the autopsy. The medic found bruises on her shoulders, small bits of skin and blood under her nails. All signs of struggle.
The Hokage confided the information to Madara, but made sure that no one else would know. Not even the parents. At least not until they had collected more evidence.
But soon the first questions were asked. The child could swim. Then why would she drown? The current was too strong. But how did she end up in the river? Yui had always been well-behaved. Her parents were positive that she wouldn't just go and swim in the river alone. And how had no one noticed a drowning child in a village full of shinobi?
And then the tragic accident was no longer described as such. Instead it was compared more and more to the murder of the young Senju woman a few weeks prior.
One word started to resound in Konoha's streets. Revenge.
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A/N
I have a thing for twins. And somehow, because I have a thing for drama too, I wanted to add some forbidden-twin-bad-luck-demon shit to this AU. You know, culture and world building, yada yada. Izanami and Izanagi are sort of the "fallen gods" in this AU, so I was like: "Maybe twins are seen as reincarnations of them, so they are considered bad luck and parents actually kill them off."
And because I'm naive I was like: "God, I can't write that. Way too brutal! Who'd do that!"
Imagine my face when I googled and found out that this was apparently a thing in Japan.
Anyway, just a side note. It's not like Akari and Tobirama are expecting twins (... or are they?). Though I guess at this point, Tobirama is still not expecting any child at all, haha.
Also, as a bit of an update, I have probably the most important exams of my life at the beginning of next year. I was sort of hoping I'd still manage to write a chapter a month while preparing, but it kinda seems impossible at this point. So yeah, if I end up not updating for a while… Just know that this story is on my mind a lot even when I'm not writing. And once those exams are over (and hopefully passed :D) I'm totally coming back to this.