JENNIE
I watch as Smith settles in on the couch, scooting slightly closer to Lisa. Lisa looks at him with caution but doesn't stop him or say anything about his proximity. It's ironic that Smith seems to like Lisa, when Lisa clearly despises children. Though since Smith feels in some ways more like a country gentleman from an Austen novel, he may or may not be included in that category.
Never, she said to Smith when asked about marrying me.
Never. She never plans on having a future with me. I knew this somewhere deep inside, but it still hurts me to hear her say it, especially the cold and confident way she said it, like it was a joke or something. She could have softened the blow, even just a little.
I don't want to be married right now, obviously, not for years. But it's the idea that it isn't even a possibility that hurts me, a lot. She says that she wants to be with me forever, yet she doesn't want to be married? Are we supposed to just be "girlfriend's" forever? Am I okay with never having children? Will she love me enough to make this all okay, despite the future I had always envisioned for myself?
I honestly don't know, and my head is pounding thinking about it. I don't want to obsess about the future right now; I'm only nineteen. We've been getting along so well, and I don't want to ruin that.
After the kitchen is clean and the dishwasher is loaded, I check on Lisa and Smith once more before going into the bedroom to get my things ready for tomorrow. My phone rings as I lay out a long black skirt for tomorrow. Kimberly.
"Hey, is everything okay?" I ask after answering.
"Yeah, everything is okay. They're giving him some antibiotics and we should be getting sent home soon. It may be late, I hope that's okay," she says.
"Of course it is. Do what you need to do." "How is Smith doing?"
"He's good—he's actually hanging out with Lisa," I tell her, still not believing it myself.
She laughs heartily. "Really? Lisa?"
"Yeah, tell me about it." I roll my eyes and make my way back into the living room.
"Well, that's unexpected, but it's good training for when you have little Lisas running around the house," she teases.
Her words tug at my heart, and I bite down on my lip. "Yeah . . . guess so." I want to change the subject before the lump in my throat grows any larger.
"Well, we'll be done soon, hopefully. Smith's bedtime is ten, but since it's already ten, just let him stay up until you want him to go to sleep. Thank you again," Kimberly says and hangs up.
I make a quick stop in the kitchen to pack a small lunch for tomorrow; I'll just bring leftovers from tonight.
"Why?" I hear Smith ask Lisa. "Because they're trapped on the island." "Why?"
"Their plane crashed."
"How come they're not dead?" "It's a show."
"A stupid show," Smith says, and Lisa laughs.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Lisa shakes her head in amusement, and Smith giggles. They look alike in some ways: the dimples, the shape of their eyes, and their smiles. I imagine that except for the blond hair and shade of eyes, Lisa looked much like Smith when she was younger.
"Is it okay if I go to bed, or do you want me to watch him?" I ask Lisa.
She looks at me, then at Smith. "Um . . . that's cool. We're just watching mindless television anyway," she says.
"Okay, good night, Smith. I'll see you in a bit when Kim is here to get you," I tell him. He looks over at Lisa, then back to me and smiles.
"Night," he whispers.
I turn to go back into the room, but I'm stopped by Lisa's fingers wrapping around my arm. "Hey, no good night to me?" She pouts.
"Oh . . . yeah. Sorry." I hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek. "Good night," I say, and she hugs me again.
"You sure you're okay?" she asks, pushing my shoulders back so she can look at me.
"Yeah, I'm just really tired, and he wants to hang out with you, anyway." I smile weakly.
"I love you," she tells me and kisses my forehead.
"I love you," I respond and hurry to the bedroom and close the door behind me.