JENNIE
When I wake up, Lisa isn't in the bed. I assume she went for a coffee run or she's in the shower, so I check the time on my phone and force myself out of bed. Despite not having gone out last night, I'm feeling pretty tired, so I don't really make an effort with my appearance, just pulling on a WCU T-shirt and jeans. I'm tempted to wear yoga pants so I can tease Lisa when I see her, but I can't find them anywhere. Knowing her, she probably hid them or put them somewhere so no other guys can see me in them.
I look in my top drawer again, and when I close it, a piece of paper falls from the dresser.
Went out with my dad for breakfast, it says in Lisa's handwriting. I'm equally confused and happy about this. I really hope Lisa and Marco can continue to build their relationship.
Figuring that they're probably done, I try calling Lisa, but she doesn't answer. I shoot her a text message and head out to meet Jisoo at the coffee shop.
When I get there, Jisoo is sitting at a table, and gestures to the two drinks in front of her. "I already got yours," she says with a smile and lifts the paper cup to me.
"That was nice, thanks." The sweet yet bitter taste of the coffee wakes me up the rest of the way, but then I start getting anxious that I haven't heard back from Lisa.
"Look at us, looking like regular college students," Jisoo jokes, pointing at my shirt and then at her, which is identical to mine. I laugh and take another drink of the blessed coffee.
"Hey, where's Lisa today?" Jisoo grins. "She didn't walk you to class this morning."
I shrug. "I don't know. She left me a note that she left early to have breakfast with her dad."
Jisoo stops mid-drink and gives me a quizzical look. "Really?" Then after a moment, she nods and says, "Stranger things have happened, I guess."
Her response only makes my mind fill with doubt. Lisa did go to breakfast with her father. Didn't she?
As Jisoo and I walk to class, and Lisa still hasn't responded to my previous or recent texts, an ache in my chest grows.
When we take our seats, Jisoo looks at me and asks, "Are you okay?" and I'm about to respond when I look up to see Professor Song entering the room.
"Morning, everyone! Sorry I'm late, I had a late night last night." He smiles and shakes a leather jacket from his shoulders before throwing it across the back of his chair. "I hope everyone took the time to either purchase or steal a journal?"
Jisoo and I look at each other and pull out our journals. When I glance around, I see we're two of the only people to do so, and once again I'm amazed at just how unprepared college students are.
But Professor Song continues undeterred and absently straightens his tie. "If not, take out a blank piece of paper, because we're going to use the first half of class to work on the first journal assignment. I haven't decided how many there will be exactly, but like I said, the journal will make up the majority of your grade, so you need to put in at least a little effort." He grins and sits, putting his feet on the desk. "I want to know your ideas on faith. What does it mean to you? There is literally no wrong answer here, and your personal religion doesn't make a difference. You can take this in many different directions—do you yourself have faith in some higher power? Do you feel that faith can bring good things into people's lives? Maybe you think of faith in a completely different way altogether—does having faith in something or someone change the outcome of a situation? If you have faith that your unfaithful lover will stop being unfaithful, does that make a difference at all? Does having faith in God . . . or a number of gods, make you any better of a person than someone who doesn't? Take the topic of faith and do what you want with it . . . just do something," he says. My mind is whirling with ideas. I used to go to church growing up, but I have to admit my relationship with God hasn't always been the strongest. Every time I try to press my pen to the first page of my journal, Lisa comes to mind. Why haven't I heard from her? She always calls. She left a note, so I know she's safe—but where is she now? How long will it be before I hear from her?
As each text remains unanswered, the panic inside of me grows. She has changed so much, improved her behavior.
Faith. Have I had too much faith in Lisa? If I continue to have faith in her, will she change?
Before I realize where the time has gone, I'm on my third page. Most of what I've written has gone straight from somewhere inside of me to the paper, leaving my mind and heart out of it. Somehow a weight has been lifted by writing about my faith in Lisa. Professor Song calls the end of class, and I listen to Jisoo talk about her journal entry. She chose to write about faith in herself and her future. I wrote about Lisa without a thought. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.
The rest of the day drags on miserably, since I haven't heard from Lisa. By one o'clock, I've called her three more times and sent eight more texts, but nothing. I feel bad about it—especially after having just written about faith and my feelings about her—but my first thought is that I hope she isn't off doing something that will harm us.
My second thought is of Nancy's. It's funny how she always pops up in mind when there's trouble. Well, not funny, but persistent. She's like an apparition that appears in my head even though I know she wouldn't cheat on me.