Back For Good Chapter 14, a secret show fanfic

Professor Professor and Doctor Doctor were at the U.Z.Z. base, preparing for a daunting undercover mission that involved infiltrating North Korea, where the T.H.E.M. base was currently grounded. They still hadn't exactly processed the decision to do this, Doctor Doctor especially. No one was quite sure how this mission would pan out when she was going against the terrorist organization that she'd once ruled with glee. For all they really knew, she could end up dead and leave Professor Professor utterly heartbroken. Still, the world was at stake, so it was a risk worth taking.

Right now, at this very moment, Cardigan Backyardigan, Special Agent Ray, and Professor Professor were taping a wire (microphone and all) against Doctor Doctor's skin. Doctor Doctor couldn't help but wince a bit as the tape they used pulled her skin back just a little bit.

"Alright, that should be good," Ray announced once he and the other two stopped messing with the wire. "Are we all set?"

"Ja," Professor Professor replied. "We're set. I know this mission is quite risky. We can't even be sure she'll even still be alive by the end of it, but it's either this or let the world go into a nuclear winter and kill off all life as we know it."

Doctor Doctor just gulped, but then forced herself to calm rather quickly. "We certainly can't have a nuclear winter now, can we?"

"Nein. It would be worse than any of the Impostors' attempts to start a new ice age. Also, the wire that's taped to you is totally untested und highly dangerous."

"Fantastic." Doctor Doctor sighed. "In case I don't come back still alive, I want you to know that I... I've always loved you."

Professor Professor reached out and squeezed her hand. "I've always loved you, too."

Within a few hours, U.Z.Z. had managed to drop Doctor Doctor off in the North Korean capital of Pyongyang. The cyan-hued ex-baddie looked around for a bit, noting how it hadn't changed all that much since it was established almost 140 years ago in 1948. The Ryugyong Hotel, for example, still wasn't finished despite having been under construction since 1987. Its pyramid shape and extraordinary length of 330 metres made it stand out amongst the skyline. The style of the architecture reminded her of home, though there were also edifices of traditional Korean design.

"If I was Maxime, where would I go?" she asked herself.

She looked around some more, hoping to find any hint of the man formerly known as Expendable Chartreuse Yellow Twenty-Four. It didn't take long before Doctor Doctor noticed a woman with blonde hair and a small pointed nose who was off on an almost two-hour walk to the Arch of Reunification.

"You!" Doctor Doctor called out to her. "I need your help!"

The blonde woman turned around to look at the strange blue-skinned woman who called out to her and then pointed to herself. "Et moi?"

Fortunately for this situation, Doctor Doctor both understood and spoke French herself. "Je cherche quelqu'un qui s'appelle Maxime Peyron. L'as-tu vu?"

In a moment of clarity, the blonde woman nodded. "Je vois que tu sais qui est mon père."

Doctor Doctor was also nodding for a second before she suddenly stopped and took a moment to process what the blonde woman just told her. "Wait a minute, Maxime... is your father?"

The blonde woman nodded again. "Yes. Yes, he is. It's a blessing and a curse. I mainly exist because he's a horny bastard."

"I see..." Doctor Doctor then noticed that the blonde woman was wearing the same kind of outfit that Cardigan Backyardigan usually wore, only her suit and matching sweater were mauve instead of red. "That outfit... it looks familiar. You wouldn't happen to be the chief of a branch of U.Z.Z., would you?"

"Oui, I'm the chief of the French branch, thank you for asking. Just like my British counterpart, my name is also Changed Daily. Today, you will refer to me as..." Her cellphone beeped. "Sainte Geneviève."

"Nice, just like the patroness saint of Paris. It's certainly better than your counterpart's name today, Cardigan Backyardigan."

Sainte Geneviève had to stifle a laugh. "Wow, that's a really ridiculous name."

"Very ridiculous. Oh, right, I asked you if you had seen your father. Where is he?"

Sainte Geneviève pointed towards the Arch of Reunification where she'd already been heading. "I believe he went through the Arch of Reunification so he and the rest of T.H.E.M. could meet up with allies in Kaesong."

Doctor Doctor nodded to indicate she understood. "Ah, I see. And Kaesong's in the middle of Korea, too, so I can't doubt that Kim Bom-bit and her cronies will also be there."

"Of course they will. Well, we better get there, and get there fast."

Within the span of a few hours, Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève had arrived at the North Korean city of Kaesong. Once there, they proceeded to make their way inside a military building, where Sainte Geneviève's father and the rest of T.H.E.M. had met up with the country's ruler Kim Bom-bit and her staff to discuss using nuclear weapons against U.Z.Z. and the rest of the world.

"Alright, we're inside," Sainte Geneviève said. "Now we just have to find the conference room where my father is and let ourselves in."

"That's all well and good, but how do we get past the guards?" Doctor Doctor asked.

"I'll just give you my spare laser gun and we can use them like clubs on the guards and then use their uniforms as disguises."

"That seems a little foolhardy, doesn't it? Let's do it."

So Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève went through with that plan and then proceeded to make their way through a few hallways without anyone noticing. Soon enough, they managed to reach the double doors to the conference room.

"So far, so good," Doctor Doctor said. "Now what?"

"Just act natural," Sainte Geneviève replied. "You're a former baddie, no? You've got this."

Doctor Doctor nodded, and she and Sainte Geneviève headed inside the conference room where they quietly just slid into the back of the room while Kim Bom-bit was giving a slideshow presentation to Maxime and some of the Expendables on how they would execute their plan. Kim Bom-bit was a somewhat overweight woman with black hair styled into an asymmetrical bob, dark eyes, and pale white skin. She wore an olive-colored skirt suit complete with a matching tie and a white dress shirt underneath.

"...so then once we've had the last of the nuclear bombs assembled, we'll have to find a way to smuggle the first one onto an Ilyushin Il-76TD from one of Air Koryo's fleet," Bom-bit was explaining to her audience. "Once we've smuggled the first bomb onto the plane, we'll then set off for our first destination in London and drop the bomb right on top of the U.Z.Z. base. We will consider this a warning to the rest of the world."

Doctor Doctor gasped softly enough that not many people could hear it.

Expendable Black Eight raised his hand. "Excuse me, how many megatons are there in that first bomb?"

"Mmm..." Bom-bit pursed her lips and scrunched her face in thought. "About 10 kilotons."

"Oh, okay. I was just wondering."

"Thank you. Any more questions?" Bom-bit saw a few more Expendables raise their hands. "That don't have to do with how powerful the first bomb is?" She watched as the same group of hands went down. "Alright, then... on with the other targets..."

While Bom-bit continued on with her slideshow presentation, Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève started talking in hushed voices amongst themselves.

"Are you absolutely sure that wire of yours is recording everything?" Sainte Geneviève asked her companion.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" Doctor Doctor asked back. "Though it may be totally untested and highly dangerous, it's doing its absolute best to record everything Professor Professor and his coworkers want to hear."

Bom-bit squinted at the two women in the back. She couldn't really hear what they were saying, but she didn't really need to. That was what lip-reading was for. She read the lip movements that Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève were making closely before then quickly faking a cough.

"Are you alright, Respected Comrade Kim Bom-bit?" Sainte Geneviève asked.

"Fine, just a bug in my throat," Bom-bit replied while waving Sainte Geneviève's presumable concern. "Thank you. By the way, I couldn't help but notice that you were talking about something. Care to tell me what it was?"

Sainte Geneviève just barely managed to meet Bom-bit's gaze. "We were just talking about what to do for her wedding. She's getting married in August."

"Congratulations. Mind if I come over and contribute? I love weddings."

"No, no, not at all."

So Bom-bit just walked off from her slideshow presentation and made her way over to the back of the conference room. She then took a seat next to where Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève were sitting.

"Okay, so I've actually got lots of ideas for what you and your friend can do at her wedding," Bom-bit said. "These are mostly things I never got to do at my own wedding, so I figured I wouldn't want them to go to waste. Now, there's this tradition we Koreans have for weddings called pyebaek. It's when the bride's family prepares food to give to the groom's parents. For example, the bride's family may offer chestnuts and jujubes to the groom's father and pyeonpo, yukpo, and braised chicken to the groom's mother. In turn, the groom's father will-"

Before Bom-bit could finish explaining the tradition of pyebaek, however, someone started singing over the transmitter taped to Doctor Doctor's body. It sounded like Professor Professor singing some silly little ditty.

When you meet a business man, you must shake him by the hand.
When you meet a family man, you must shake him by the hand.
When you meet the choo-choo man, you must shake him by the hand.
When you meet the friendly fellow, you must shake him by the hand.
When you meet the plug-in man, you must shake him by the hand.

"What the hell?" Bom-bit asked, baffled by what she was hearing. "Do you have a radio taped to you?"

Doctor Doctor started sweating. "N-no, you must be hearing things."

Without much prompting, Bom-bit ripped open the front of Doctor Doctor's guard uniform to reveal the wire for everyone else to see.

"I knew it!" Bom-bit practically yelled. "You two are spies!"

"Chert voz'mi!" Doctor Doctor exclaimed.

Bom-bit then pulled out an FN Hi-Power gun and aimed it at the cyan-hued woman and her companion. "You have thirty seconds to surrender yourself before I execute you in front of everyone in this goddamn room! Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven, twenty six- hey! Where are you going?!"

Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève had decided to bolt out of there while Bom-bit was counting down. Bom-bit decided to pursue after them, hot on their tails, while they climbed up a long flight of stairs that led to the roof of the building.

"You can run, but you can't hide, you filthy spies!" Bom-bit yelled out at the two women.

Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève just kept silent as they headed up the stairs to the roof of the building. They couldn't let her kill them, not here, not like this. Dying was very much the last thing Doctor Doctor wanted to do. It couldn't end like this. It just couldn't. Eventually, all three women made it onto the roof of the building, with Bom-bit still holding the FN Hi-Power gun in her hand.

"This is your last chance, spies," Bom-bit ominously warned her captive audience. "Jugeullae? Surrender now or I'll execute you right here."

"Like you'd really do it," Sainte Geneviève taunted. "You don't have the balls for it."

"Don't believe me, huh? Why don't I prove it by pumping you full of lead right now?" Bom-bit cocked the FN Hi-Power gun and aimed it right at Sainte Geneviève's face. "Still fancy your chances?"

"Still fancy yours?" Sainte Geneviève just smacked the gun right out of Bom-bit's hand and off the roof. "Not so intimidating without your security blanket now, are you?"

Angered by what Sainte Geneviève just did, Bom-bit started charging towards her, but Sainte Geneviève just stepped to the side. This sent Bom-bit over the edge of the roof, but she managed to grab onto the edge at the last second and hold on for dear life (though she could only hold on for so long before she lost her grip and fell to her death).

"Respected Comrade Kim Bom-bit!" Doctor Doctor exclaimed. "Hold on, let me help you!"

"Ggeo-jyeo, mi-chin nyeon!" Bom-bit screeched at the cyan-hued former baddie. "I don't need help from filthy spies like you!"

"Oh really?" Sainte Geneviève asked with a raised eyebrow. "Well, then, I guess I'll help speed this along."

Sainte Geneviève then stomped on Bom-bit's fingers, causing the North Korean leader to yell out in pain and let go. Bom-bit then proceeded to fall 115 feet to her death, all while giving Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève two middle fingers. Blood started pooling underneath Bom-bit when she finally hit the ground.

Doctor Doctor whirled around to face Sainte Geneviève, gravel on the roof crunching beneath her feet while she did so. "What was that for? She could've given U.Z.Z. valuable information."

Sainte Geneviève slapped Doctor Doctor across the face. "There could've been no use trying to reason with the leader of North Korea, understood? It was for the best she had to die anyway. We still have to take care of the nukes, too. Doctor Doctor, is there any way from here we can get to Pyongyang International Airport? That's where Air Koryo is based."

"Leave it to me." In an instant, Doctor Doctor had a propeller shoot up from out of her hair. "Alright, let's go."

It took a while, but Doctor Doctor had eventually managed to fly herself and Sainte Geneviève over to Pyongyang International Airport. They landed right near the entrance of Terminal 2 and just walked in. Around them, people were just going about their daily lives, talking and walking and sitting down and even ordering some snacks to eat before their flight.

"Alright, we're here," Sainte Geneviève said. "But where can we go to find the nukes?"

Just after she asked that, Sainte Geneviève noticed a guard heading out towards the terminal gate without even having someone check his tickets.

"Maybe he knows where they are..." Sainte Geneviève mused. "Quick, let's follow him! He must know where the nukes are!"

Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève then followed the guard through the terminal gate and the jet bridge before eventually making it onto an Ilyushin Il-76TD, which may have been the same one the first nuke was supposed to have been smuggled into. Sainte Geneviève then pulled out her laser gun and pointed it at the guard.

"You!" Sainte Geneviève shouted at him. "Where are the nukes being held?"

"W-What?" the guard asked with a stutter. "What nukes? What are you talking about?"

"Ne fais pas l'idiote avec moi. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Now... I'm going to ask again: where are the nukes being held?"

Not wanting to invoke the woman's wrath, the guard caved in and gave Sainte Geneviève and Doctor Doctor the exact location on where the nukes were being held.

"D'accord, merci beaucoup," Sainte Geneviève said. "Come on, Doctor Doctor, let's go."

Sainte Geneviève led Doctor Doctor to the maintenance facility, which included aircraft hangars and apartment buildings for high-ranking officials and Air Koryo employees. The blonde woman then led her cyan-hued companion over towards Hangar #33.

"Here it is," Sainte Geneviève announced. "Hangar #33. Assuming what the guard told me is true, this must be where the nukes are being held. D'accord, time to go inside and see how we can disarm these things."

Doctor Doctor nodded and followed Sainte Geneviève inside the hangar. Unsurprisingly, it turned out that the guard was telling the truth. There must have been sixteen nukes in here, and they were all plutonium-based devices capable of delivering at least 5 kilotons per blast. It was incredible that they were even left out in plain sight for people to look at.

"Okay, Doctor Doctor," Sainte Geneviève murmured to her. "We really need to think on this one. If we were North Korean guards in charge of making sure the nukes went off as scheduled, where would we put the controls?"

"Uh, maybe over there?" Doctor Doctor pointed to a control panel tucked away in a corner of the room, with a label clearly reading "For managing nuclear bombs."

Sainte Geneviève turned to look at where Doctor Doctor was pointing. "Huh, what are the odds? Merci, Doctor Doctor."

"Pozhaluysta."

"Quite. The question now is... how do we sabotage the controls?"

"Nothing a little Janet Jackson can't do."

Sainte Geneviève raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding what her companion had meant. "What?"

"Janet Jackson. She's the artist who created that song called 'Rhythm Nation.'"

"I still don't quite understand."

"'Rhythm Nation?' It's the song that crashed certain 5400RPM hard drives because the harmonics in the music matched the resonance of the spinning drive. It was considered a big enough issue to be declared a cybersecurity risk, though it wasn't discovered until sometime in 2022."

"Ah, I see. So you're saying we should play 'Rhythm Nation' to crash the controls and hopefully disarm the nukes?"

"Da."

"Alright, then play the song. Do you have it stored on your phone?"

"Of course." Doctor Doctor dug out her phone from beneath her guard uniform and pulled up the song in question to play. "Alright, Janet Jackson. Do your thing."

Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah!
Bass, bass, bass, bass.

The song had only started playing, but the spinning drive within the control panel was already starting to audibly whir loudly.

With music by our side
To break the color lines,
Let's work together
To improve our way of life.
Join voices in protest
To social injustice.
A generation full of courage,
Come forth with me.

The song proceeded to wreak havoc on the control panel, causing it to malfunction and crash.

"Mon Dieu, I can't believe that actually worked," Sainte Geneviève muttered increduously.

People of the world today,
Are we looking for a better way of life?
We are a part of the rhythm nation.
People of the world, unite.
Strength in numbers, we can get it right.
One time.
We are a part of the rhythm nation.

Soon, electrical sparks went flying everywhere and a fire broke out within the area where the spinning drive happened to be located. A few seconds later, an alarm started going off above the two women.

This is the test;
No struggle, no progress (lend).
Lend a hand to help your brother do its best.
Things are getting worse.
We have to make them better.
It's time to give a damn.
Let's work together; come on, yeah!

"Time to go!" Sainte Geneviève announced. "The guards could come charging in any minute. Quick, do that hair propeller thing of yours again!"

"Say no more." In an instant, Doctor Doctor had a propeller shoot up from out of her hair. "Hold on tight! I have a feeling it's going to be a hectic ride."

People of the world today,
Are we looking for a better way of life (say)?
We are a part of the rhythm nation (people).
People of the world, unite.
Strength in numbers, we can get it right.
One time.
We are a part of the rhythm nation (everybody).

Sainte Geneviève held onto Doctor Doctor for dear life while the cyan-hued former baddie flew them out of Hangar #33 before the guards could come in. However, some guards still managed to spot the two women on the way out and start shooting at them with their Type 88 AK-74 assault rifles.

"Merde!" Sainte Geneviève yelled out in frustration. "These guards... they're determined."

"No problem," Doctor Doctor assured her. "I can handle this."

With that, Doctor Doctor pulled out a laser gun from one of the pockets in her guard uniform and started shooting way down where the real guards were, even managing to shoot the Type 88 out of one guard's hands at one point.

"Whoa, that's impressive," Sainte Geneviève could only say.

All of a sudden, Doctor Doctor's cellphone started ringing and she picked up.

"Doctor Doctor, are you still alive?" Professor Professor asked.

"Of course, I'm still alive, but I don't know how much longer it'll be before these guards at the Pyongyang International Airport shoot me and Sainte Geneviève down."

"Sainte Geneviève? Who's that?"

"She's the chief of the French branch of U.Z.Z. 'Sainte Geneviève' is just her name of the day."

"Ah, I see."

Bass, bass, bass, bass.
Bass, bass, bass, bass, bass, bass, bass.
Bass, bass.
Bass, bass.
Bass, bass, bass.
Bass, bass.

"Can you please send back-up as soon as possible?" Doctor Doctor asked, trying not to sound too desparate while she and Sainte Geneviève were fleeing for their lives.

"Jawohl, right away," Professor Professor replied.

"Alright, thank you."

"You're welcome."

And just like that, Professor Professor hung up without saying goodbye. Now all Doctor Doctor and Sainte Geneviève could do was bide their time until back-up could arrive and get them out of North Korea as soon as possible.

Say it, people.
Say it, children.
Say it if you want a better way of life.
Say it, people.
Say it, children.
Say it if you want a better way of life.

Bass, bass, bass, bass, bass, bass.
Bass, bass, bass, bass, bass, bass.
Bass, bass, bass, bass, bass, bass.
Bass, bass, bass, bass, bass, bass.

"You've been a wonderful companion," Sainte Geneviève said.

"You too, Sainte Geneviève," Doctor Doctor replied. "I'm actually glad you came along. I don't think I could've taken on the guards without you."

"Always glad to help. Plus, we get the added bonus of killing our enemies off in the most painful way possible that's not being set on fire."

"Um, yes, sure. There's that, too."

Everybody say it!
People of the world today,
Are we looking for a better way of life?
We are a part of the rhythm nation.
People of the world, unite.
Strength in numbers, we can get it right.
One time.
We are a part of the rhythm nation (rhythm).
People of the world today,
Are we looking for a better way of life?
We are a part of the rhythm nation (woah).
People of the world, unite.
Strength in numbers, we can get it right.
One time.
We are a part of the rhythm nation.
Rhythm nation (yeah)!
Rhythm nation!
Rhythm nation!
Rhythm nation!
Rhythm nation!
Rhythm nation!
Rhythm nation!