Chapter 5
Loki had spent a frustratingly restless night in his chambers.
Surprisingly, one of the attendants had relayed a summon to breakfast with the complete royal family to him. The trickster did not see the value of actually following the summon. He could agree at least to himself that he may have enjoyed a few more moments with Freiya and his adoptive mother, but he did not feel as if he should really be part of it.
Strictly speaking, he was not an actual part of the royal family. He also had very little desire to be forced to observe what he could only assume to be a happy family reunion. Odin would for sure prefer if he remained in his quarters unseen. Of course, Frigga and even Thor would most likely be disappointed at his refusal to come, but they had Freiya back now.
His mood soured further as his mind unbiddenly started to wonder just how long it would take Thor and Frigga to forget him fully that their real family was finally complete.
He sent the attendant away with an angry snarl, pushing him out with his Seiðr and warding the door against further unwanted intrusion. He was not hungry and he did not wish to see anyone for the day. Solitude served him just right.
Once he was alone again, Loki spent some time looking through another of his bookshelves to try and find an explanation why his Seiðr had connected with Freiya's instantly upon physical touch. He had been unsuccessful to find anything the previous evening and the question was still plaguing his mind. He hated not knowing something with a burning passion.
It irked him that Frigga may know something about this weird connection, but his own pride kept him from asking one of the attendants he heard passing by his room to deliver a message to their queen. He knew logically that Frigga would actually be pleased to be asked to see him, but his features pulled into a deep scowl with the mere idea of asking his adoptive mother for help.
A small part of him knew that he was acting childish and stubborn. He forgot his internal musings though when he felt the strong almost explosion of Seiðr in the palace.
Acting on instinct alone, Loki abandoned his research and stood from the table, crossing the room to the door. The second it took him to dismantle his own ward on the door, was enough to make him pause. So, instead of storming out to investigate, he waited and simply listened.
He had always been good at that. Listening and observing what others did.
Whatever might have transpired could not be a real threat. There were no panicked shouts or the loud clatter of boots running through the hall to summon assistance.
He let his hand sink from the handle of the door and shook his head at his own foolishness.
He returned to the table and his research with a huff. Loki hoped that Freiya had not had such an outburst because of something Thor may have thought. The spell he had cast over her during the previous day, had broken once he had fallen asleep and he would need to be faced with her to reapply it.
Most likely Frigga would be able to teach such a spell to Freiya. She had taught him how to channel his own Seiðr and she had taught him at least the basics of the enchantments he was using. With time and the libraries of the different realms at his disposal, Loki knew that his own mastery of Seiðr had far surpassed Frigga's. Of course, the queen was a formidable sorceress, but he was certain his own knowledge was far broader these days.
Sometime later – Loki had been absorbed in one of his books – he did hear the unmistakable sounds of someone running by his room. He placed the book down with a frown when he heard what must have been two people colliding with each other rather forcefully. Something clattered to the stone floor of the hall rather loudly and the sound of whoever had been running resumed in the other direction towards one of the exits to the vast gardens.
Loki frowned when he concentrated on whoever had run past and recognized Freiya's golden Seiðr leaving a trail passing by his rooms. He wondered just what had happened to make the princess flee. He would have assumed for Freiya to be happy to be reunited with his family.
His frown deepened when he shortly entertained the thought of how he would feel if his real parents would have appeared at a random time and brought him "home". Of course, he would consider Asgard far preferable to Jotunheim, but he was not certain it would make a big difference to Freiya who only knew Midgard well so far.
Should he search for her?
He shook his head again. Odin had been rather clear that Loki was to stay within the palace and not venture out of the walls without an explicit order to do just that.
No matter how much he detested being on house arrest, he knew that being back in one of the cells would be considerably worse still.
It did not take too long though before there was a knock on his door. Loki was surprised to find Frigga standing behind it.
The queen did not even seem to try and hide her displeasure at what had transpired earlier during breakfast.
"What can I do for you on this sunny day?" Loki all but drawled, putting down the book in orchestrated boredom "Perhaps look for the lost princess once again?"
"Loki, please" Frigga's tone was the weird mixture of mild chastisement and kindness only she seemed to be able to master fully "Now is not the time for one of your jokes".
"And for what is the time now then?" Loki prodded. He had turned fully to face the queen now though and his tone lacked any possible mockery.
For a moment it seemed that Frigga wanted to tell him something and the way in which her eyes shimmered conveyed clearly that it was important, but the queen shook her head slightly and her expression changed.
Loki hated when the queen did this, just as much as he detested being left out of something and information being withheld from him.
"You are correct though, fledgling," Frigga said in a much milder tone "Freiya ran from the palace and it seems her Seiðr is somehow naturally cloaking her from Heimdall's all-seeing gaze".
Loki raised a brow in honest surprise. He knew how to shield himself from Heimdall's gaze if he wished to. But it was a complex spell and he had not mastered it so long ago actually. It would explain though why Heimdall had not been able to find the princess on Midgard during all this time. If Freiya somehow subconsciously protected herself from other Seiðr with her own, it was reasonable to assume that only moments of great emotional distress or physical shocks could have let her protection waver for a short time.
He did not think that this necessarily would require him to search for the princess. There were more than enough guards to look for her and, in a world, she knew nothing about….
Loki pressed his lips into a thin line, as if he had stopped his thought process forcefully. Exactly because the princess knew nothing about Asgard, just running off without protection could be dangerous for her.
"So, I am allowed out of the palace walls after all only to do something for Odin" his words were delivered in an icy tone, and his green eyes flashed angrily.
Frigga looked entirely too pained just in reaction to this in comparison to a rather harmless comment and Loki paused with a confused frown.
"I will speak to your father again" the queen promised and there was determination within her blue eyes.
Loki inclined his head in acknowledgment, still frowning though. He knew that Frigga and Thor were far more forgiving in their nature, but still, neither of them had spoken about lifting the house arrest or speaking in front of Odin again for him at all during the last two years.
Thor and he had been on house arrest before of course during their youth if they had gotten into extreme trouble. The longest time period they had been confined to their rooms had been no more than three months though.
"What are you not telling me?" Loki prodded again, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Frigga sighed visibly and shook her head "The breakfast did not go over well, but I want to speak with you about it later. I worry about what Freiya may encounter. Her Seiðr is indeed extremely powerful and she does not seem to have any control over it. I fear I will need to ask more of you, my sweetling".
Loki frowned still, but he nodded. He had the same assessment of Freiya's Seiðr. It was a wonder really that she had survived on Midgard alone with anyone to guide her. He wanted to ask just what had happened and what exactly she was planning to ask him, but the sadness and worry were palpable within her eyes.
Guards were swarming around the palace as if they were bees having been scared away from their hive, undoubtedly, trying in vain to locate the once again missing princess.
Loki paid little attention to the almost nervous movements all around him and once he stepped out into the garden, instead concentrated on the Seiðr trail Freiya must have left behind. It was extremely weak and he highly doubted that anyone who had not tried to find her previously would be able to spot it at all.
Possibly their assessment of Freiya's Seiðr was only partially correct. Subconsciously the princess obviously was controlling her Seiðr and had perfected it in a way that hid her away now.
Loki followed the weak trail through the gardens and into the streets around the palace. He could not judge how fast Freiya may have moved, but it had taken a while for Frigga to show up at his room and ask for help and they had spoken with each other for a little while as well before he began his search. It was impossible to predict how far the princess may have come.
He was slightly confused why Thor or even Frigga herself were not accompanying him. It seemed odd to him that they obviously wanted him to find the princess alone. Something truly upsetting must have transpired during breakfast and Loki kind of regretted his earlier refusal to join the royal family. The only explanation that he could think of was that the princess's outburst of raw power which he had felt all the distance to his rooms had left a lasting impression on Frigga and Thor to make them assume he was better equipped to locate the princess and actually bring her back to the palace.
The trail the princess had left led Loki through the streets and right into the first larger wood surrounding the center of the kingdom. He had not truly expected Freiya to stop somewhere in the streets. The princess knew no one in Asgard and would most likely only be further upset about being stared at. Word would have already spread of her return to Asgard and the population was not so large that at least in the very center of Asgard a new face would not be missed easily.
He quickened his steps once he was on the edge of the forest as he began to worry in earnest about what creatures the princess may come across. There were a number of predators at home in their forests. Thor and he had not been allowed in the woods alone for many many years during their youth for their own safety.
It took him a frustratingly long time to finally spot the princess and when he did, he was more than a little surprised by her company. Of all the things living in the woods which she may have met, she managed to encounter a unicorn and its foal.
Freiya stood with her back to where Loki was slowly approaching the unicorn. He watched the princess extend her hand carefully to the large creature and after a rather loud huff of breath, she indeed managed to touch the elegant neck, letting her fingers glide slowly over the smooth shiny coat.
The young foal was trotting around joyfully and Loki was even more surprised when the young one came over to him. He had only seen unicorns in passing so far and he knew that the creatures were timid and very careful to get too close to any of the inhabitants of Asgard.
The trickster carefully extended one hand in an offering to sniff at it towards the foal. The young creature seemed unsure of him and its ears flicked back and forth for a moment before it butted against his hand.
Loki felt the touch as if a current had traveled through his hand upwards and the foal returned to its mother quickly.
Freiya turned over to him and gave him a slight smile. Another moment later and the unicorn and its foal retreated away from them.
It was a little disconcerting to watch Freiya's smile disappear with the sacred creatures. Her Seiðr thankfully remained calm though.
"I am sorry" she all but blurted out before Loki had the chance to say anything.
Loki blinked at the princess in confusion "You hardly need to apologize for storming out of the palace to me. I have done just that often enough myself". The last part had been an admission without any conscious thought and Loki bit his tongue.
Freiya stepped closer to him and he noticed now that she must have been crying. Her eyes were still glittering with moisture and he had the sudden urge to pull the princess into his arms and give her a hug to soothe her obviously upset state.
She shook her head and waved a hand as if to wave away his words. Anger flashed hotly through her eyes for a moment and Loki saw her Seiðr flare up as well, while the sky above them suddenly hung with angry dark clouds.
Loki looked up unamused. He had grown up with one God of Thunder already and it appeared as if Freiya's mood was having a direct influence on the weather as well.
Just what they needed.
He concentrated on Freiya again though when she spoke up, voice noticeably shaking "You do not understand. It is all because of me!"
Loki furrowed his brow, truly lost with what the princess had just said.
"You were abducted because of me!" Freiya continued only a second later as the first signs of thunder growled faintly above them.
Assuming the princess was speaking about what had happened the previous day, he tried to appease her "I assure you The Other had reasons to take me as well".
It was Freiya who looked confused for a moment now and she shook her head again as frustration edged onto her features. "You think…" she stopped abruptly and something flashed over her face too quick to pinpoint before she continued "Odin…" she stopped again and the thunder grew louder around them.
In a flash, the thunder was gone and there was a heavy downpour around them in its stead.
Loki glanced at the sky minutely in distaste. He hated rain with a passion and he was confused by what Freiya was insinuating, he failed to make a connection just yet and her strong emotional reaction was unsettling to him. "What are you implying?" he asked in a sharper tone than necessary.
Freiya looked down at the ground for a moment and the rain stopped the very moment she took a deep visible inhale, before she looked up again at him, her eyes almost piercing him with their intensity as she reached out and took hold of one of his hands.
"You were taken from your home by Odin in retribution for my abduction" she finally explained in a coherent sentence and tone much calmer again.
Loki blinked at the princess for entirely too long moments while he processed what he had just heard. When he had found out that Odin and Frigga were not his parents by birth, he had been met by Odin himself and he had all but screamed at the king, demanding to know just why he had been taken to Asgard. He had not received a satisfactory answer from his not-father at this time and once they had fought again much later after Odin had awoken from his Odinsleep, the king had hurled at him that his birthright had not been a throne but to die as a runt.
His mind reeled with this new information and a part of him wanted to rip his hand away from the princess and confront the king again. Had Frigga and Thor known this?
Another and significantly quieter part of him noted their continued connection and something within him ached at the thought of severing their connection.
"How do you know this?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper as he tried to reign in his own turmoil of emotion.
Freiya sighed and she gave his hand a perhaps absentminded squeeze "I have seen the memory of how he took you" her tone was heavy and there was no question in her mind about her feeling somehow guilty for Odin's decision.
When the words fully registered in his mind a moment later, he indeed did rip his hand away and his features pulled into a cold mask of indifference "So, you know of the monster I am" he drawled with the decisive intent to scare the princess of him, while his own heart ached. He had known it was only a matter of time before the princess would recognize what kind of monster he was, but a selfish part of him had hoped it would take longer.
Freiya appeared more hurt by the fact that Loki had pulled away than by his words and this confused him greatly.
"I do not know what you mean" she finally said after looking at him sadly.
Loki sneered slightly "If your claim is true to have seen the memory" he idly wondered how she had gotten into Odin's mind "then you will have seen where I come from".
Freiya tilted her head slightly and she seemed to have taken his words for an invitation to explain what exactly she had seen "I have seen Odin and his forces invading what may have been a temple, slaying whoever guarded you and taking you" she paused for a moment as if she thought something over "If you mean with "monster" that those around you had blue skin and red eyes, I would not know what that means".
Loki was all but deflated at that. He had not even considered that the princess of course could not know what a Frost Giant was. She had grown up on Midgard and would not have heard any of the nasty tales told to children on Asgard to make them behave.
"I am sorry that you were torn from the life you were supposed to have because of me" Freiya repeated her earlier attempt to apologize.
Loki was not used to anyone reacting to one of his taunts or his cold glares as unfazed as Freiya just had and he was uncertain about how to proceed. The princess seemed intent to ignore his earlier words. Her apology was ridiculous to him though.
"You had no hand in what Odin did" Loki decided to focus on the absurdity of the apology "You were nothing more than an infant yourself after all."
Freiya nodded in acknowledgment, but it was obvious she was not done with the subject just yet. "Still" she continued proving Loki's observation "I know what it is like to be forced to grow up in a different world…" her voice was incredibly sad when it trailed off.
Despite himself, Loki reached out and connected their hands again. He may not have always enjoyed all aspects of life on Asgard, but he would never know if life on Jotunheim would have been in any way kinder to him and somehow he highly doubted that.
"What happened during breakfast that made your Seiðr flare up as it did?" he asked, trying to change the subject. There was no possibility to change the past and he saw little sense in mulling over what may have been either.
Freiya looked sheepish all of a sudden "Thor was giving me a headache again" she started to explain and a slight blush dusted over her cheeks.
Loki absentmindedly noted how lovely a sight this actually was. He snorted slightly, "Hardly a reason to lose control like that" he commented rather drily.
Freiya actually rolled her eyes like that "It was not the reason" she defended herself "I told Frigga that you had cast a spell for me yesterday which shielded me from Thor's thoughts. She tried to do the same to me…" she let the words trail off again.
Loki frowned at the implication of the princess's words. The spell he had used was hardly too complex or difficult for the queen to replicate with ease.
"My magic reacted volatile to her attempt," Freiya explained with a sigh.
Loki looked at their connected hands for a second. It was highly unexpected for the princess's Seiðr to react like this to Frigga. The queen was her mother after all. He would have understood if he had ignited the same reaction.
"Peculiar" he commented with a frown. Freiya understood nothing of Seiðr just yet, so her reaction must have been subconscious. It confirmed his suspicion that her Seiðr had somehow evolved to protect her from possible threats. Why the princess obviously did not recognize him as a threat remained to be seen.
If Freiya did not notice his reaction or simply chose to ignore it, Loki could not say. He was somewhat startled by her next question though.
"Can you teach me how to do that spell?" Freiya asked and her tone and expression were both extremely hopeful.
Loki frowned. In theory, it should not be much trouble to teach the spell to Freiya. The problem was though that he somehow doubted she would be able to cast any kind of spell with how lacking the control over her Seiðr really was. On top of that, the spell would require a form of intimacy he was not comfortable sharing with anyone. Their minds would be required to touch for Freiya to fully grasp the concept and he could not imagine allowing just that. He did wish to help her though and he had the gnawing suspicion that Frigga would ask him to teach the princess how to control her Seiðr anyway.
Freiya seemed to see his internal conflict without Loki actually saying anything and the hope vanished from her features, being replaced by open disappointment. She put on a brave face only a few seconds later "Never mind. I will get used to it again".
Loki narrowed his eyes at the princess "You will need to be able to control your Seiðr before I could even attempt to teach you that special spell. It is by far not suited for a novice either."
Freiya visibly contemplated his words for a moment before she inclined her head, expression still thoughtful "And can you teach me how to control my .. Seiðr".
The foreign word sounded weird in her mouth and it was obvious she had trouble forming it, to begin with.
"Someone will have to anyway" Loki retorted without much thought.
Freiya's eyes flashed slightly and she appeared affronted "There probably are others who can". Her affront put the words, not as a question but more as a certain assumption.
Loki rolled his eyes "I did not say that I will not teach you".
"You will?" the princess immediately retorted and her eyes sparkled, all former disappointment was apparently forgotten for the moment.
"We shall see" he offered vaguely. Learning control of your own Seiðr and later how to channel it into spells in Loki's experience required a certain level of trust between instructor and student. He was uncertain he would be suited to teach anyone. When her expression visibly fell again at his answer, he quickly explained his thoughts and doubts about it going to work out.
Without as much as a beat of pause Freiya said "I do trust you".
The words were so full of conviction that Loki was completely taken off guard by them. He blinked at her a little dumbly "You do not even know me at all yet" he retorted in exasperation.
Freiya shrugged "So?" she challenged with a slightly mischievous twinkle in her eyes, which turned more serious a second later "You have not shown me anything to distrust so far."
Loki felt as if the world had suddenly been turned upside down. Still, he felt compelled to warn the princess "You will see that I am not called God of Mischief for nothing".
"I have already heard enough thoughts others harbor about you to know that," she said in a rather calm tone "But guess what?"
Loki only looked at her mutely, waiting for her to elaborate. He would not play guessing games with her now. He could guess easily enough just what the princess may have already heard about him. He had never been very popular, but since his return from Midgard whatever popularity he may have once had turned into suspicion.
"I do not care" she retorted once again voice filled with conviction and something within her eyes was daring him to object.
"That seems like an utterly dumb attitude" Loki deadpanned, voice a little icy again. He did not know what the princess thought to be doing playing games with him.
"You will see," the princess said, not taking the bait and ignoring Loki's obviously switched mood for now.
He shook his head with a sigh and motioned back in the direction he had come from. Undoubtedly, the search for Freiya would still be ongoing in full force. He was half-pressed to simply show her how evil he could be immediately, while another part of him wondered just how long it would take for the princess to look at him with the same suspicion and displeasure most others only had for him these days.
He finally let go of her hand and with one quick wave of his hand both of them were perfectly dried again. He did not enjoy walking around soaked to the bone.
Freiya appeared impressed though and her eyes had gotten a little wide "Thank you" she expressed her gratitude earnestly.
"We have to go back now?" she checked with barely veiled trepidation in her tone.
Loki frowned "Surely the palace and getting to know your family is more enjoyable than standing in a forest with me" he muttered.
Freiya narrowed her eyes slightly and shook her head "I would take the quiet forest with you any day".
Loki's lips tilted up in amusement. If anyone else had said this, he would have called out their joke, but it was clear Freiya indeed meant what she had just said. In the privacy of his own mind, he could admit that the words touched him a little. He could not remember anyone ever preferring his company when there was another option.
"May I ask how you actually know The Other?" Freiya switched the subject again and there was definite curiosity within her expression now.
Loki tensed at the question as memories rushed through his mind of the year he had spent with Thanos. He needed a moment to force them back again and his voice was indeed cold when he finally pressed out an answer "You may not".
Freiya seemed taken aback by his reaction, but she seemed to take the hint not to press for information. He was thankful for that.
They had walked a little while through the forest in what may have been defined as companionable silence.
Freiya knew that she had obviously affronted Loki with her question about The Other. She was still curious though.
Although Loki was walking slightly ahead of her, it was obvious the prince was watching out for her from the corner of his eyes. She did not plan to force him back into a conversation. The tenseness that her question had evoked was still visible in his tale frame. Her thoughts also still strayed to what she had seen in Odin's thoughts. She did not understand why Loki was calling himself a monster. She would have liked to ask him after it, but she doubted he would tell her anything in his current mood.
If she had thought Loki was tense and closed off after her question, his behavior intensified extremely once they encountered Thor and the Warrior Three.
Freiya winced visibly at Thor's loud internal relief at seeing her unharmed and obviously calmer. His thoughts towards Loki were circling around the fact that Loki had been abducted rather than rescued by their father.
The Warrior Three were introduced to her as Thor's and Loki's closest friends. From Loki's reaction and added to that the thoughts of the peculiar warriors, there had never been a real friendship between them and the second prince of Asgard.
Freiya had the sudden urge to punch Fandral who introduced himself as "The Dashing" square in the face when he stepped closer and dared to place an arm around her.
Loki's green eyes were narrowed at Fandral's arm around her and if she had not felt invaded by the uninvited touch, the guy's thoughts made everything null he may have said.
Oh, such a pretty thing. If she lets herself bedded as easily…
Freiya heard his thoughts just as she saw a memory from him unfurl. It showed a younger Fandral and Loki together in bed. The little scene only needed a few seconds to show that Fandral somehow had succeeded in seducing the young prince who seemed very happy at the unexpected attention. She recognized the younger Loki closing off the same way his expression had closed off earlier during their conversation at the realization that Fandral wanted nothing from him at all.
Her magic reacted to the memory as well as his offending thoughts and it crackled around her as lightning in seconds.
Fandral all but sprang away from her with a horrified expression.
"Loki?" she made a show of stepping closer to him and speaking in an extremely sweet tone "Could you please cast the spell again? The thoughts have gotten … offending".
If Loki was surprised by her question or caught on to the show she was putting up, he showed no visible reaction, instead the prince only inclined his head and weaved the spell quickly.
Freiya immediately sighed once she was alone in her mind again. No matter what reservations Loki may have about teaching her, she needed his help.
She did not know for sure, but the thoughts on earth had never been so loud, and neither had she been forced to see memories being attached to certain thoughts. Was it possible that the minds of humans on earth and the beings of Asgard just worked differently?
Thor was explaining to his friends that Freiya unwillingly had to listen to their thoughts.
Freiya did not hide the amused grin at Fandral's, especially horrified expression. She did not know the rules for royalty here, but she highly doubted his thoughts would have been appreciated.
Loki still appeared way tenser. The signs were subtle and she may have missed them if she had not seen him act differently before. But she felt sorry for him, especially after he had been the one to find her.
She decided to take it out on Fandral "Yeah, I would appreciate it if you could refrain from imagining having your wicked ways with me".
Fandral turned bright red in the face, while Thor actually glared at his friend.
Freiya bit back a chuckle at that. She may not know Thor yet, but she could immediately imagine him to be a very protective brother. Sadly, they had been robbed of the childhood they may have had together.
Loki's green eyes flicked to her and she was not entirely certain if he was grateful for her comment.
The way back towards the palace went by mostly in silence. Freiya knew already that silence seemed nothing uncomfortable to Loki, Thor on the other hand seemed to have difficulties with it and had tried to force a conversation. His friends obviously were too alienated by the possibility that Freiya may still hear their thoughts and were subdued by it.
Once back in the palace, Thor excused himself to the training grounds with his friends. Freiya was thankful for the moment she had with Loki now as she wanted to tell him what she had heard from Thor's thoughts.
"Your brother did not know by the way," she said once they were alone in the hall.
Loki raised a brow in reaction and when she wanted to elaborate assuming he had not understood, he shook his head "I understood what you meant" his voice was different to place "There is no need for you to antagonize Thor's friends for me".
So, he had caught on to what she had been doing earlier. Freiya nodded. She had not done it because she thought Loki incapable of holding himself, but rather because she wanted to. She may not have heard much yet, but everything which she had seen so far pointed to the fact that Loki had been picked on a lot in the past, standing alone without anyone besides maybe Thor.
On instinct, she reached out and connected their hands again, waiting for a second for their Seiðr to visibly connect as well "You may not need my help with such trivial things. But would it not be nice to have an ally for once?" she asked and added in a little quitter voice "or even a real friend?"
She did not give him a chance to respond though and stepped away and into her rooms as they had conveniently stopped right in front of them.