Disclaimer: I do not own the Mercedes in the parking lot, I swear. I mean, truthfully, does it look like I could afford a Mercedes? Plus it wouldn't be red…
Author's Note: I know all of you are ready to kill me due to my lack of updating…but please don't…I wouldn't enjoy death in the least…and I'm posting now see? I'm out of school for the summer, so posting will be semi-regular now…
Best Laid Plans
Alone in the Dark
It was dark…it was silent…and it was cold. The cold part was probably his fault, but it didn't make him any happier as he stared at the ceiling, or the dark patch he assumed was the ceiling, of the Cerebro room and contemplated horrible, freezing doom for everyone. And by everyone, he meant everyone…even Ororo's little plant friends…
He started to chuckle to himself…and the eerie sound bounced off the walls and returned in interesting echoes. He grinned, laughing louder…until he sounded like some mad scientist alone, in a dark room…who couldn't move…
"But that will change…" he crooned "Soon…soon all shall beware! For I am Bobby Drake! Bwahahahahahahaha!"
He blinked, scaring himself with the echoes…"Ummm, yeah, I'm stable now…" he tried to convince himself "I wish Rogue had left the lights on…"
* * * * *
Rogue grinned…a wild, free grin and chuckled as some Orleanian cousin tossed her in the air. An impromptu dance session had begun in the recreation room when all the thieves' guild had realized that there were several unattached women in the mansion at the moment…and all of them also wanted to wish Rogue luck with their cousin, Remy.
She was twirled and passed among the charming men like a dream…tossed, dipped, even flirted with…she hadn't had this much fun since…since…she couldn't remember. She kept an eye on Storm though…the wind goddess was enjoying herself almost as much as Rogue…and she was single…which screamed to every male in the room…
The dark skinned beauty was the center if an admiring circle that had at least twenty people in it…about fifteen of them were charming thieves with roguish smiles while the rest were charming heroes with chiseled features…she was glad she had been raised in Africa…according to the laws of her tribe, she could have as many husbands as she wanted…and there were several candidates…
* * * * *
Remy dragged his eyes from Rogue once more as his father not-so-gently slapped him on the back of the head. Jean Luc's eyes smoldered as he spoke "Best be listetnin boy, there be great responsibility in a marriage…"
Remy grimaced and looked at his father "Remy know. Remy got dis same lecture when he married de first time…"
"I just be tryin to help you uphold the honor of the Lebeu name…"
"Remy know, Remy not be leavin Rogue…Remy not be cheatin on Rogue…Remy be bringing her breakfast in bed at least once a week…Remy give de girl foot rubs…"
Jean Luc nodded at each statement "And?"
He sighed "And Remy feed Rogue first, Remy escort her te all de balls, Remy declare her Queen of de t'ieves guild, Remy cater to her every whim on de honey moon…Remy ask about kids…" He shot to his feet, clenching his fists "Remy gonna kill his cousins if they don't stop that…"
Jean Luc calmly pulled his son back onto the couch "Remy can kill dem after he finish recitin…"
Remy sat back down, eyes smoldering as he saw another cousin casually pinch Rogue in a delicate area…then continued in a very tight voice "Remy bring Rogue flowers once a week at least…Merde!" he watched, round eyed Rogue casually threw the pinching cousin threw the window.
She sauntered over casually and sat down next to Remy, an annoyed expression on her face. Remy gulped and continued, amusing Jean Luc no end "Remy not annoy Rogue, ever. Remy cook, Remy clean, Remy kiss Rogue…a lot…" he started to trail off and cuddle Rogue…Jean Luc sighed and gave up, walking off.
* * * * *
"INFINITY MINUS TEN BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! INFINITY MINUS TEN BOTTLES OF BEER!" Bobby screamed out, the walls echoing back…it was odd, he was starting to annoy himself…he sighed and scratched his nose…scratched his nose?
He held up his hand and wiggled his fingers, smiling like a demented cherub. "I'm freeeeeeee!" he stood up and decided to look for a light switch and start his evil planning…
He slid his hand along the smooth metal wall, mumbling to himself "First…first is Rogue and Remy…they shall pay! Then…then Jubes, the traitor…then Xavier…those Cajun guys…Hank, for eating the last twinkie…Martha Steward because I can…LIGHT SWITCH!" he flicked the lights on and grinned…until he fell on the floor and shielded his eyes "Owwwwwwwwwwwwch, note to self…kill light bulbs factory next…"
* * * * *
Dinner was being served, once again courtesy of the New Orleans gang…which meant a mouth watering shrimp gumbo served along with black beans, rice and stuffed rolls. For once, in the entire day, silence reigned supreme as everyone ate heartily. Bobby peered in at the large group of people happily eating and smiled…he started to concentrate on people's feet…
He nearly jumped out of his skin as a large hand descended on his shoulder from behind. As it was, he did jump about three feet and turn around in mid air to see…Logan. And Logan was smiling. Bobby twitched nervously "Oh…hehe, hi Logan…"
Logan blinked, wondering briefly, if Bobby had been dropped on his head recently…but shrugged it off "Hey ice cube, I just wanted to thank ya for snappin Jubilee outa it. I got you a thank you gift…it ain't much, but I hope it'll due…" he held out a box and left.
Bobby blinked he wanted to thank me? He glanced down at the box and his eyes lit up…twinkies! He was in his room, stroking the box before he could even take another breathe, delighted glee on his face as he beheld the golden, glowing sweetness held within…"Mine…." he whispered "All mine…" but first…he had revenge to take..
He reverently placed the box on his bed, positioning it just perfectly…the evening sunset striking it and reflecting off the clear, cellophane wrappers in a glorious display of dazzling light…he sighed, bidding it farewell as he closed the door.
* * * * *
Downstairs…it was quiet, too quiet. Rogue paced down the halls towards the Cerebro room with an air of foreboding. Her skin shivered and she crept up silently to the door, listening for anything…there was no sound. No talking, no singing…no breathing…
She tossed open the door and rushed in, worried…and found no Bobby. The room dripped with icicles, the Cerebro unit was a solid chunk of ice…a breathtaking sculpture grew from the frost coating the floor…a dizzyingly complex model of the Xavier Mansion…right down to the people in the windows…
She peered into one of the crystalline windows, curious…and saw herself…frozen to the ceiling…she blinked, then hit her comm unit "Bobby's loose ya'll, an he ain't happy…"
* * * * *
Bobby prowled the corridors…no one was about…and that was odd. It was almost as if everyone was hiding…he shrugged and returned to his room, he would continue the search after one perfect, golden twinkie to bolster his energy…
He stepped into his room and froze. The twinkies were gone. The. Twinkies. Were. Gone. He blinked "I locked the door…how?" A single tear rolled down his face as he inspected the rest of his room. Nothing was out of place, nothing else was touched…but the twinkies were gone!
He sat on his bed, fighting the desire to curl into the fetal position and thought… "Hank…it had to be Hank…he has my twinkies!"
He jumped up from his bed and raced down to Hank's lab, nearly knocking the door off it's hinges as he entered. "WHERE ARE THEY?????" he roared.
Hank glanced up from his microscope and looked slightly puzzled in a polite manner "Where are what my friend?"
Bobby stalked towards the blue, furry mutant with a manic glint in his eye, frost starting to rime the walls in his wake. "Where are my beautiful, dazzling, wholesome, golden, sugary twinkies?" he asked dangerously when he was a mere three inches from Hank McCoy's face.
Hank adjusted his glasses "I have been in my lab since early this morning Bobby, I have not left. Had I known you had twinkies though…"
Bobby sat on a stool, deflated "Then who would steal my poor, defenseless cakes?"
Hank rubbed his chin "Hmmm…I do not know, but in the name of twinkies, I shall help you find the culprit…"
Bobby started to smile "That will work…"
* * * * *
Logan happily sat out in a tree, Jubilee snuggled safely in his arms "Just a week Darlin, and we can be married…you sure about opening a new school?"
Jubilee sighed happily "Yeah, you know I always wanted to be a teacher, and Xavier's getting too many traces with Cerebro, he can't take them all…"
Logan growled low in his throat "It'll be odd not coming home to the institute…"
She giggled "I know, but it'll be a place our own kids can grow up without accidentally getting dragged along on a mission…"
"Yeah, you got a point Darlin…"
"I've already bought land in Wisconsin on the Canada border…Xavier and I started building last week…"
He held her a little away from him to see her face "What?"
She grinned "I reached my majority Wolvy" she teased "I finally got ahold of my inheritance that's been collecting interest for several years now…"
Logan laughed "I love ya"
"I know…"
* * * * *
Bobby grinned at Hank across the list of suspects. "This will work right? There's no telling what they've done to the poor things…"
Hank bared his teeth in a smile "It will work."
* * * * *
That does in for chapter nine! If you have ideas for the plan the dynamic duo leave it in your reviews…I promise to use the best idea in the next chapter…and I'm giving out a prize fro who guesses the culprit…