Chapter 2: The most dastardly of evil plans
*Wiener Schnitzel is driving with Relena on his motorcycle*
Relena: Are we there yet?
Wiener Schnitzel: For the last time, NO! Now shut up!
Relena: Ok...........Are we there yet?
*Wiener Schnitzel raises his right fist to punch Relena, but he doesn't
punch her, instead he lowers it again immediately*
Wiener Schnitzel: Well, we are, actually.
*He stops the motorcycle, and both he and Relena get off it, they are
at an airfield*
Wiener Schnitzel: Please follow me to that plane over there, my birthday
party is taking place in Germany.
*Two big-boned persons approach the two, then they start punching and
kicking Relena until she is unconcious, which didn't take too long. When
she is, they punch and kick her some more, then they drag her into the
the back of the plane, the two guys and Wiener Schnitzel enter the plane
through the entrance of the cockpit. A few seconds pass, until they finally
take off.
*Back at Heero and Duo's, the G-boys are in the living room, Heero
is watching news on TV, while Quatre sings a prayer to Allah. Wufei has
just cleaned up the last few glass shards and hands some one-hundred-dollar-notes
to Duo, Trowa is just sitting around, bored*
Quatre: ALLLAAAAAH! Please let Relena die, so the Earth will be saved!
Heero: Shut up! I've just heard in the news that Relena has been missing
for the last 3 hours, also I remembered, that Schnitzel-guy's birthday
was already last week...
*the others listen with great interest*
Heero: So, I think he abducted Relena.*everyone except Heero gasped
in horror* ...which wouldn't be so bad under normal circumstances.
*There's a knock on the door, Duo opens it to find Noin standing in
front of the door*
Duo: Hi, Noin.
Noin: Hello, I've heard about Relena, and that she must be killed within
24 hours.
Duo: Sorry, but she's been abducted by that stupid German guy called
Wiener Schnitzel, and we have no idea where she is.
Noin: Zechs does, he has got information from Germany about a secret
plan this Wiener Schnitzel guy has developed to conquer the world, he will
tell you where to go. Follow me please, Zechs is at a bar right now.
*The boys take their Gundams and Noin her white Taurus, and arrive
at the bar in a couple of seconds, they enter and spot Zechs immediately,
he's wearing his eagle-like helmet right now*
Noin: Zechs, the boys need information from you!
Zechs: Another whiskey please mr.bartender...oh, hiya Noin, how's it
hangin' *Zechs looks as if he had more than only one whiskey before*
Noin: Not good, because if you don't tell the boys where Relena is,
the Earth will be doomed in 20 hours! You see, Relena carries a virus from
Pluto, it will grow in her body...
*inside Zechs's mind thoughts are being activated which don't have
much to do with the subject Noin is talking about*
Zechs's thoughts: Damn, I'm so pissed, and Noin is talking about such
boring things...I can't stay awake for another second...damnit Zechs, pull
yourself together, you're a man of honor!...Oh shit, it's no use, I'm drifting
away, well, at least they won't notice it when I'm asleep since I'm wearing
my helmet... *zzzzzzz...*
Noin: So that's why we need your help, please Zechs, I BEG YOU!
*Zechs doesn't react*
Noin: ...er...Zechs?
*Zechs gives off a really loud snore*
Duo: Oh damnit, wait, let me think...*shouts* ZECHS! SOMEONE'S TRYING
TO STEAL EPYON!
Zechs: *suddenly wakes up* PLEASE TREIZE, NOT IN THE FACE!... Oh, it
was just a dream. *Zechs blushes*
Heero: Zechs, tell us already where Wiener Schnitzel took Relena!
Zechs: Oh yeah, well, they are on a plane to some laboratory in Berlin,
I think it was...under the porn theatre next to the American embassy.
Quatre: Are you sure? You just had some shots of whisky.
Zechs: 100 per cent sure.
*they leave the bar, Zechs is alone again now*
Zechs: Another whisky plea... *throws up on the counter* urghh...sorry
'bout that.
*The Gundam pilots fly as fast as possible to Germany, while Wiener
Schnitzel and a tied up Relena are already together in a room of the laboratory*
Wiener Schnitzel: So, Relena, with your help, Germany will be the only
country of the world!
Relena: Do you expect me to talk?
Wiener Schnitzel: For god's sake, NO, don't you dare annoy me with
your horrible voice, we just want to take some DNA from you.
*A bullish-looking guy and someone in a doctor's outfit come, the strong
guy knocks her unconscious with a hammer and the doctor uses a syringe
to take some blood. When the syringe is filled, he empties it over a vial,
when 10 vials are full, the doctor and Wiener Schnitzel start talking in
German*
The following German is translated for you by Christopher Rausch. Yes,
that is a German name, so please, all you German readers, don't try too
hard looking for grammar errors in the German parts, you won't find any,
thank you. The German will be translated through subtitles.
Doctor: Ich denke ein Liter wird reichen.
*Subtitles pop up in fornt of the doctor*
Subtitles: I guess one litre will be enough.
Doctor: Was ist das? *points at the subtitles*
Subtitles: What is that?
Wiener Schnitzel: Ich glaube das übersetzt, was wir auf deutsch
sagen.
Subtitles: I think it translates what we say in German.
Wiener Schnitzel: Nun, ich muss nach oben gehen, eine Rede an die Soldaten
halten, fangt währenddessen an die DNS zu klonen.
Subtitles: Well, I've got to go upstairs, to hold a speech in front
of the soldiers, you will start cloning the DNA in the meantime
*he goes upstairs and starts his speech for a few hundred soldiers*
Wiener Schnitzel: Deutsche Soldaten!...
Subtitles: Soldiers of Germany!...
Wiener Schnitzel: Wir werden bald unsere Geheimwaffe besitzen, dann
werden wir in der Lage sein, die Welt zu erobern!...
Subtitles: Soon we will have our secret weapon, then we will capable
of conquering the world!...
Wiener Schnitzel: Keiner kann eine Klonarmee bestehend aus dem nervigsten
Menschen auf der Welt besiegen!...
Subtitles: No one can defeat a clone-army consisting of the most annoying
Human on the planet!...
Wiener Schnitzel: Und vergesst nicht, dass auch ihr stark seid!...
Subtitles: And don't forget that you're also strong!...
Wiener Schnitzel: Denn ihr seid hart wie Kruppstahl, zäh wie Juchtelleder
und schnell wie ein Windhund!
Subtitles: I love all of you hunks!
*the crowd cheers*
Wiener Schnitzel: Wait a second, I didn't say that last thing those
fricking subtitles showed!
Subtitles: Yes, you did.
Wiener Schnitzel: Ok, that does it, from now on I'll stop talking German!
*the doctor comes upstairs*
Doctor: Mein Führer, ich bin mit der Arbeit fertig!
Subtitles: I want to bear your child!
Wiener Schnitzel: Shush! Stop talking German, some weirdo is in charge
of the subtitles.
Doctor: Okay.
Wiener Schnitzel: So, the cloning is already complete? How come it
was done so fast?
Doctor: It's not a problem for our technology to produce hordes of
clones in a few minutes, we have 1468514 Relenas waiting to be deployed
in a hostile country.
Wiener Schnitzel: Excellent, MUAHAHAHAHA
End of chapter 2