Author's Note: Again, I don't own Paradise Kiss or anything related
to it (except for the wonderful book series!), that's all Yazawa-sensei's.
This is another monologue in my collection, inspired by the books and
characters.
*****
"Goodnight, Arashi-chan," Miwako yawned next to me, rolling over. I looked at her mass of curls that decorated the pale pillowcase with swirling designs. Her long hair trailed down her back, tracing the smooth curves.
"Goodnight," I replied. But her breath had already grown slower, steadier. I smiled. She could fall asleep so easily, just like a child. Ah, Miwako. She was still so child-like in some ways, yet in others she was a full-grown woman. Where was the line, though? And did anyone but me see that there were two sides to her? They all treated her like someone who had to constantly be watched, I thought. Then again, I feel that way sometimes, too. She seems so pure, I almost feel guilty to touch her. The pent-up guilt of years past would wash over me on nights like this. Am I doing the wrong thing? I wondered. I felt as though I had corrupted her in some ways. Had I stolen her innocence? I had never forced her in any way, and of course I never would. I would always want her, but I would only be with her if she wanted me as well. She still acted so innocent most of the time, I thought. Then she would spend the night with me and she was so adult. Still, at times it felt as though I was making love to a child. Just a child. was she still just a child? Maybe she would have been better off with Hiro. Hiro, that bastard.
I loved her. God, I loved her so much. I would kill anyone that tried to take her from me, I would. Yet I couldn't help wondering if someone like him would be better for her. He was so clean-cut and. everything that I was not. Then again, so was Miwako. She was my other half, right? Blimey. I should have realized that. Opposites attract, right? So of course she was meant to be with me instead of him. That was why she had chosen me instead of him. I reached out and touched her hair gently, watching the gentle rise and fall of her ribs. She looked so surreal on nights like this, like a little china doll, with her creamy naked skin set against smooth, clean sheets. Her dark lashes contrasted so perfectly with her delicate pale skin. Her full pink lips, as though painted on her cherub face. Did she know that she was my inspiration? God, she was everything to me, and more. She was perfect.
At that moment, I regretted ever getting angry at her for the whole mess with Hiro. I felt so bad about the whole thing all of a sudden. She loved me, I knew this. She was just a girl who let her emotions carry her into action, I knew this also. She always tried so hard to please everyone. Miwako, I thought, you don't have to try to hard with me. I'll love you anyway.
"Miwako," I whispered, wrapping my arms around her.
"No, Arashi, I'm too tired," she murmured sleepily. I smiled. That wasn't what I wanted anyway, I thought. I just wanted to hold her here, and know that she was mine. Always.
"Goodnight, Arashi-chan," Miwako yawned next to me, rolling over. I looked at her mass of curls that decorated the pale pillowcase with swirling designs. Her long hair trailed down her back, tracing the smooth curves.
"Goodnight," I replied. But her breath had already grown slower, steadier. I smiled. She could fall asleep so easily, just like a child. Ah, Miwako. She was still so child-like in some ways, yet in others she was a full-grown woman. Where was the line, though? And did anyone but me see that there were two sides to her? They all treated her like someone who had to constantly be watched, I thought. Then again, I feel that way sometimes, too. She seems so pure, I almost feel guilty to touch her. The pent-up guilt of years past would wash over me on nights like this. Am I doing the wrong thing? I wondered. I felt as though I had corrupted her in some ways. Had I stolen her innocence? I had never forced her in any way, and of course I never would. I would always want her, but I would only be with her if she wanted me as well. She still acted so innocent most of the time, I thought. Then she would spend the night with me and she was so adult. Still, at times it felt as though I was making love to a child. Just a child. was she still just a child? Maybe she would have been better off with Hiro. Hiro, that bastard.
I loved her. God, I loved her so much. I would kill anyone that tried to take her from me, I would. Yet I couldn't help wondering if someone like him would be better for her. He was so clean-cut and. everything that I was not. Then again, so was Miwako. She was my other half, right? Blimey. I should have realized that. Opposites attract, right? So of course she was meant to be with me instead of him. That was why she had chosen me instead of him. I reached out and touched her hair gently, watching the gentle rise and fall of her ribs. She looked so surreal on nights like this, like a little china doll, with her creamy naked skin set against smooth, clean sheets. Her dark lashes contrasted so perfectly with her delicate pale skin. Her full pink lips, as though painted on her cherub face. Did she know that she was my inspiration? God, she was everything to me, and more. She was perfect.
At that moment, I regretted ever getting angry at her for the whole mess with Hiro. I felt so bad about the whole thing all of a sudden. She loved me, I knew this. She was just a girl who let her emotions carry her into action, I knew this also. She always tried so hard to please everyone. Miwako, I thought, you don't have to try to hard with me. I'll love you anyway.
"Miwako," I whispered, wrapping my arms around her.
"No, Arashi, I'm too tired," she murmured sleepily. I smiled. That wasn't what I wanted anyway, I thought. I just wanted to hold her here, and know that she was mine. Always.