"Golden Bands to Bind Them" - Chapter 2
(Season 4 fic. Back in Sunnydale, Buffy deals with the aftermath of
Willow's my will be done spell, immovable wedding bands that bind her and
Spike.)
Buffy pulled the huge car into the shade of the carport at Giles' apartment, then got out and had a bone-creaking stretch. God, she hated driving! She was stiff and exhausted and stupid Spike was crashed out like a baby in the back seat.
A little vindictive smile lifted the corners of her mouth and she swiftly pulled open the rear door of the car. Spike's upper half came tumbling out and he cracked his head a good one on the pavement. The vampire scrambled away from the line of sun that marked the edge of the carport's shadow.
"We're here," Buffy remarked dryly. Spike just fixed her with an accusing stare, then retrieved his blanket and wrapped himself again.
Just then Willow and Xander came spilling out of Giles' front door and ran to envelop Buffy in a group hug.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! So SORRY!," Willow said over and over. "Everything's my fault!"
"It is. It really is!" Xander chimed in, hugging just as fiercely. "Willow was a very naughty Wicca."
Spike, huddled in the deepest shadow of the carport, let out a bark of bitter laughter, "Hah!"
"Will, everyone makes mistakes," Buffy soothed. "It's okay. This was just....an exceptionally huge one." She broke away from the hug. "You want to tell me what the hell happened?"
"Oh, Buffy, I was hurting so much and I just wanted it to stop! I thought, 'How hard can it be to just use my will and control my feelings?' It was just a little spell, really. It was only supposed to affect me - not anyone else. But suddenly what I said about people came true. I -I told Giles he didn't 'SEE' anything, and....you get the picture."
"So you, what, wanted me to marry......" Buffy couldn't even say his name, but just gestured with her head toward Spike. Xander glanced at him and shuddered.
"Well, I wanted you to spend time with me, but you had to go look for doofy over there so I said to Xander...."
"If she needs Spike so much, why doesn't she just go....."Xander continued, and they all spoke in unison, "Marry him."
"Oh my god," Buffy murmured. She shook herself. "Well. What'd done is done. It was a mistake. It's over. Now let's find a way to fix this."
"Fix....." Xander asked. "What's to fix? You have wedding gifts to return or something?"
"Besides some paperwork, which can easily be taken care of, we have these." Buffy displayed her hand with the shining gold band to her friends.
"Ooh, pretty," Willow squealed reflexively. "Uh, I mean, Buffy, why don't you, you know, just take it off?"
"Demon-made. Immovable," Buffy explained succinctly. "Like, forever immovable." She jerked her head toward Spike again. "He's got one, too."
Willow grabbed her hand and examined the ring, trying to move it or even rotate it on Buffy's finger, but the band was melded to the girl's flesh.
"I am SO sorry," the young witch moaned.
"Bloody Christ!" Spike exploded. "Don't start that again. Can we take this inside? I'm parboiling out here."
"Remind me again why we just don't stake him or, easier yet, take his widdle blanky away and push him out in the sun," Xander complained.
"Xander!" Willow's eyes were wide. "We don't know anything about the spell that made these rings. The two of them may be joined in such a way that what happens to one happens to the other!"
The note in her voice of near-excitement at the possibilities, made Buffy feel the urge to take Spike's advice and pop her in the nose. Willow, locked and loaded in full research mode, led the group into Giles' apartment, babbling all the way.
*********
"Here it is," Giles exclaimed twenty minutes later, as he pulled yet another dusty book from the box he hadn't gotten around to unpacking. He flipped it open, muttering under his breath, as he flipped pages. "H'rassee....H'rassee.....ah! 'Pharsi dimension', 'peace-loving', 'mate for life'. Yes, Spike was quite right about their beliefs in fidelity. Ah! And here's the part about the rings.....only one paragraph, hm.... 'Two, pledging their lifelong troth to one another, shall become as one. The rings will bind them for all eternity. There shall be no separation, neither of flesh, nor breath, nor life....' That's it. Nothing about how to break the bond."
"What does that mean? Tell me it's not literal!" Buffy sounded slightly panicked. "Is it like Willow said? That what happens to one of us...."
"Not necessarily," the Watcher spoke with authority. "It could be...."
"I already don't have breath or life," Spike interrupted. "How does this apply to me?"
"We could stab Spike and see if Buffy feels it." Anya had arrived shortly after the honeymooners and was eager to make up for lost time on putting her two cents in. She added, thoughtfully, "You know, I've heard of these H'rassee, but they're not the vengeance type. Haven't had a call from one in...ever. Maybe they're on to something."
"Anya, you're not helping," Xander cut her off.
"As I was saying," Giles voice took on an edge. "It could be a figurative joining. I don't think we need to panic just yet."
"Easy for you to say!" Spike was up and pacing the room. "You're not the one with a hunk of metal welded to your skin! And psychically attached to a bird who lives to die!"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Buffy took a defensive stance with her arms folded across her chest.
"It means I don't intend to become dust because you have a fondness for throwing yourself at things bigger than you are."
"And even if the bond were more than figurative," Giles continued. "Perhaps, as Spike said, it isn't complete since you don't meet the criteria. In order to 'not be separated by flesh, breath, or life', you would first have to have possessed these things, correct? Spike, as we know, hasn't breath or life. And, the two of you...well....haven't 'shared' the pleasures of the flesh, so that......" A quick look up from his book at Buffy's face was all Giles needed. "Oh dear."
Willow, seeing Buffy and Spike's lightning-fast mutual glance, gasped. Anya let out a little snort of laughter.
"What? What?" Xander looked wildly around the room from one person to another. "Did I miss something? What?"
***********
"You don't understand. We were MARRIED!" Buffy explained for the twentieth time. "It was our wedding night!"
"Yeah, the spell. I get it. But, Buffy, Spike??!!" Xander was pale as a sheet and Anya hovered over him sponging his forehead.
"I think Spike is quite attractive," the ex-demon chimed in, helpfully. "It's only natural when human hormones come into play that these things happen. And you know vampires will jump anything that moves."
"Grow up, Harris," Spike growled from his perch on Giles counter. "Screw the screwing. What I'm concerned about is how to get this bloody thing OFF!" He turned to Giles, who was deep into his second Scotch of the day and had his head buried in his hands. "Look, Watcher, you know we vamps regenerate pretty quickly. I mean, look how fast I came back from having my spine mangled by your Slayer. What if I were to just," he made a snicking noise as he scissored his fingers, "cut it off. How long do y'spose it would take to grow back?"
Buffy grabbed her own finger protectively. "You are NOT going to cut our...your....my finger off!" She jumped up suddenly. "I can't deal with this anymore. We're getting nowhere. We still don't know if these rings are anything more than an...an inconvenience, and I have other plans for this afternoon! I just have to chill for awhile!"
"Plans? What plans?" Spike demanded.
"Giles, can I chain him up in your bathtub again? Please! Just for this afternoon? I don't want him going anywhere or doing anything stupid, and I...I...uh....have a date."
"Riley finally asked you out?" Willow exclaimed. "Good boy. I told him you'd say yes."
"Riley? Who's Riley?" Anya asked. "No one ever tells me anything! Did you know about this?" She poked Xander, who just shrugged and slumped farther down in the couch.
"Do you really think it's wise at a time like this," Giles asked as if reading a cue card. "Do you think it's appropriate?" He didn't bother waiting for her answer, knowing Buffy always did exactly as she wanted anyway, but took another deep swallow of the amber nectar in his glass.
"Giles, it's always a 'time like this'! I have a chance to spend some time with a nice, normal, very sweet guy. He's expecting me! We made a date and I'm going to keep it."
"Let me get this straight," Spike's quiet but deadly voice cut through the din. "You hold MY life in your hands and you're going on a DATE?!! No one goes anywhere until this is resolved!" Quick as an adder he slipped off the counter, seized a knife from the butcher block, and drove it through his hand, impaling it on the table. Blood geysered up from the wound.
Buffy gasped. Willow, Anya and Xander screamed.
"Did you feel that?" Spike asked casually. "Your hand hurt at all?"
"N-no," she answered, shakily, then with more confidence and the beginning of joy. "NO!!"
"Guess it was figurative after all," Giles mumured.
"Well, that doesn't necessarily prove anything!" Anya declared, playing devil's advocate to her earlier statement. "It was over-dramatic and impulsive, but didn't threaten Buffy's life at all. If they really share one life force you couldn't prove it without killing one or the other of them. That's just common sense!"
Spike pulled the knife back out of the counter and his hand with a stomach- churning slurping sound of tearing flesh. "Got a rag, Watcher?" he asked.
"That tears it," Buffy announced. "You're going in the tub! He's going in the tub, Giles. I'll be back later this evening, and if he's been good....MAYBE....I'll let him out." She grabbed a dishtowel from a drawer and quickly bound the vampire's hand with vicious tightness, then she grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him toward the bathroom.
Spike scowled from under knitted black brows as she manacled his wrists and criss-crossed chains around his body with single-minded determination.
"Oh, that's right Slayer. It's right back to square one then?"
"What's that supposed to mean? You think I should suddenly TRUST you now?"
"Well, you don't have to tie me up. It's not like I'm going anywhere 'til we get this ring business settled." He paused, cocked his head and favored her with the tongue-behind-the-teeth leer. "Unless.....Maybe you just get off on seeing me trussed up 'n vulnerable, eh? Is that your kick? No wait. Favorite turn-ons......let's see....the toe nibbling thing and some light spanking and, oh yes, ice on the nipples and....."
Buffy punched him in the nose and his head cracked back against the tile wall. She flushed bright red and Spike went dizzy from the combination of the blow to his head and the scent of all that delicious blood rushing just under the surface of her skin.
"Oooh, and you call yourself a white-hat? Torturing helpless creatures!"
Buffy leaned toward his face and hissed menacingly. "Look, Spike, I know some secrets too. I thought we were putting the whole thing behind us, but if you're going to open that can of worms, two can play."
If possible, Spike went even paler than his customary shade of snow. He swallowed and his lips thinned to a tight line.
"For that matter...." A little imp inside Buffy refused to drop it. "I know things you'd enjoy a lot less than being tied up here. Don't forget," her voice dropped to a whisper, "I know how you feel about, oh say.....dark boxes."
The stricken look in his eyes sent a momentary pang through her. And it wasn't the 'I'm delighted to have gotten a zinger in at the annoying vampire' kind of pang. Good old-fashioned guilt moved in and took up residence. As his eyes fell away from hers, she felt like she'd kicked some poor, mangy dog in the ribs.
Spike settled back against the porcelain, closed his eyes and rested his head on the cold, hard surface. "Ask the Watcher to bring up a blood pack if he gets the chance," he said tonelessly, dismissing her.
She stood there for another second, watching him. Even considered putting a rolled up towel behind his head. It really did look quite uncomfortable. Then she shook her head and turned on her heel, leaving him to his own warped vampiric thoughts.
Returning to the living room, Buffy found Xander and Anya had left; Xander to his most recent minimum wage job and Anya to check with an old acquaintance she thought might have some useful information. Sometimes it amazed Buffy how hard Anya tried to help, when, honestly, she and Willow treated her pretty shabbily.
Willow's face was inches from the huge book she was absorbed in. Giles was resting with an arm flung over his eyes. Buffy wondered if it was alcohol or residual spell results that were affecting him.
"Will, I'm heading back to the dorm. Want to go with?" she asked.
Willow looked up with a wan smile. "No. I have at least....two dozen more books I should go through. Think I'll be here awhile."
Buffy nodded and turned to leave.
"Oh, and Buffy. Again with the 'I'm sorry and owe you whatever you ask of me for the rest of my life!' and pleading temporary depression and bad judgment. 'Kay?"
Buffy pinned on a false, bright smile. "It's okay. You can stop apologizing now. Anything you can do to get these rings off will more than even the score."
Buffy traveled the long path to SU campus, barely aware of the bright day and passersby around her. She stopped at the local market to pick up some deli food for the picnic. She considered buying little storage containers so it would look like she'd made it herself, but decided that concealing things about oneself was not the best way to approach a new relationship. She moved in a dream as the greater part of her mind insisted on replaying a particular part of the previous night.
****** "It's all right. You can tell me anything, Spike. You know that. It's just you and me. Nothing we say leaves here." Her hand brushed through the tousled hair of the head that rested against her stomach, as she murmured. "Just you and me. We never have to have secrets. We have each other."
"Yeah?" he asked, quietly.
"Yeah," she assured. "You're mine now. I'm yours. Whatever bothers you, I want to share. Besides..." she added with a smile in her voice, "I showed you mine."
"It's just.ah, it's nothing."
"No. It's not nothing. I have these prophetic Slayer dreams so I know a thing or two about it. You said you have nightmares. Please, tell me what they're about. Please?"
He drew a deep breath. "Um. Trapped. Dark. Alone. Doesn't sound like much really. Of course I know what they're from, but even after all these years, I still have'em sometimes."
"And what are they from?" Buffy prompted, "Getting out of your coffin?"
"Well, yeah, there's that, but there's more.You might not want to hear this. It's about Angelus."
"Anything," Buffy said firmly. "Trust me. Tell me."
******
"Excuse me, miss? Are you going to pick something or just stand there?" Buffy came back to reality with a start, realized she was taking up space in front of the deli counter, and quickly shuffled to the side. She brushed her hand in front of her face as if shredding cobwebs, squared her shoulders, took a cleansing breath and tried to concentrate on today not some spell-induced hallucination. Everything about that night had been a sham, a trick. She had to remember that!
When she finally made it back to her dorm room, Buffy took one look at her bed and almost called Riley to cancel. Lack of sleep, psychological stress and the long drive had pushed her to the limits of her reserve. But instead of collapsing into much needed rest, she jumped in the shower and washed away the grime of the journey. She suppressed the thought of just what she was washing away as the soapy puff traveled over her private parts. Naughty Buffy thoughts - begone!
Again, as she chose an outfit, her gaze rested longingly on her pillow with Mr. Gordo perched jauntily atop it. Even Buffy was self aware enough to realize that at this point her need to go out with Riley was representational of something much bigger than a mere social date. She would not back down. She would not be defined by her Slayer role. She would not allow the bizarre twists of her life to control her. She WOULD go on a date with nice, normal-guy Riley.
********* Spike lay sullenly in the Watcher's tub, wondering how long it would take the wanker to get him some food. A persistent drip of water from the faucet had wetted one shoulder. Just another annoyance to add to the list.
He went over his battle plan regarding the Slayer: Get cursed wedding band off finger. Find army blokes and capture a scientist. Get chip out of head. Torture and destroy Slayer's friends. Torture and destroy Slayer. Leave Sunnydale. Forever this time.
He thought it was a pretty good plan. Wondered how he was going to execute it.
As his mind began to lose focus and drift off toward sleep again, Spike's thoughts inexorably began to revolve around the previous night. He may have given Summers ammunition to damage him, but she had her own confidences she was probably wishing she'd kept to herself.
****** Soft skin slid under his hand. Stroking her was like touching finest satin. He thought he could do this - just this - petting and feeling her warmth, forever....until her skin wore away under his fingers.
"So tell me, sweetheart, what's your biggest fear? 'Show me yours and I'll show you mine'," he added, voice dripping with sexual innuendo. "Oops. Too late. You already did." He chuckled when she smacked the back of his head. He kissed her belly and she went back to running her fingers through his hair. Making a frightful mess of it she was, no doubt.
"Well," she began, uncertainly. "I'm afraid of failure. Of not getting there in time to save someone. Of not being good enough."
"Too general," Spike dismissed. "Everyone's afraid of failure. Besides, love, I can tell from your voice that's not the one. Not the big one. The thing that wakes you up at night in a cold sweat." He continued stroking her gently, waiting for that to sink in, but as she remained silent, his impatience got the better of him and he just had to talk. "Go on. Give me more. Let it out. Put it all on me."
"I-I'm afraid...." Buffy's began. Spike's hand stilled as he tuned his full attention on the nuances of her voice. "I'm afraid....of being left behind. Of being...um....unwanted. Unlovable."
"No! Where would you get such an idea? Impossible! Who could not love you, my perfect angel?" Spike cut off as he realized what he'd said - 'angel'. Who else but that bog-trotting bastard could've mucked up her mind so? It was with surprise that he heard her answer...
"My dad," she said, simply.
He resumed his stroking motion, encouraging her without words to continue.
"He didn't just leave my mom, you see? He left me. Oh, of course they both said, 'It's not about you, Buffy, sometimes grownups just...blah, blah, blah. We both still love you as much as ever...blah, blah, blah.' It was all bullshit!"
The force of her exclamation, startled him. Not to mention that fact that he hadn't heard her use any word stronger than 'hell' since he'd known her. He wanted to jump right in with comfort words, 'I'm sure your father loves you' and the like, but for once Spike forced himself to silence.
"At first he called once a week - came over once every couple of weeks and took me out somewhere. After we moved to Sunnydale, I was the one who had to call him or we never would have talked at all. And do you know how many times he returned the favor? Do you know how often he called me? Once. Once to tell me he couldn't make it to my high school graduation. Which, as it turned out, was probably good, what with the Mayor's Ascension and all. The only other time we had plans together - for my birthday - he didn't even give me the obligatory call, just sent flowers and a note saying, 'Sorry honey. No ice capades this year.' and, oh, yes, a nice fat check."
Buffy drew a deep, shivering breath that tore his heart out. Spike's demon raged to the surface and his face shimmered into folds and fangs as he envisioned what he'd like to do to the man.
"That's me and my dad," she ended in a tiny, choked voice. "After that, when everything happened with Angel, as much as it hurt, I almost expected it. It was just rubbing salt in an old wound - nothing new for Buffy."
Spike pulled himself up on one elbow to face her. He put his hand to her cheek and forced her tear-filled eyes toward him. He glared at her with all the fierceness a 100 plus vampire could muster.
"You listen to me," he commanded, golden eyes glittering. "I'M here now! And you won't be rid of me so easily. NOTHING could make me stop loving you or ever conceive of leaving you. There's nothing in you that is not lovable. Only a pair of absolute cretins could even think about giving you up! Understand?" He cupped her chin and gave her face a little shake for emphasis. "You are mine now. I would NEVER leave you alone."
Buffy gave a little whimper and surged forward to hug him so tight around the neck she would've broken it if he wasn't superhuman.
"Love you, Spike! I love you," she murmured over and over.
"That's my girl." He soothed. "Spike's here now."
When their emotional outpouring had run its course, he slid back down to his comfortable place against her belly and resumed the stroking thing.
"Of course...." Spike allowed his words to trail off, as a wicked grin crept over his face.
"What? I can feel you smiling down there," Buffy demanded.
"Oh, just....You know I was lying about you having NO unlovable qualities, right? There's the short temper, the pettiness, the righteousness, oooh and priggishness. But mostly the whole 'better than thou' attitude AND the punching me in the face thing. THAT'S pretty unlovable." By now he was snickering against her skin.
"Thanks. You're a real comfort, Spike," she said, dryly, tugging on a handful of his hair.
He sobered and added in an intimate growl. "But, you know what I love best about you, my slayer? All of it! The whole package. Wouldn't be you without the warts, eh?"
*****
Spike snapped to wakefulness at the Watcher's tread coming up the stairs. Time to get his head out of his rear and face reality. Time to try and begin to put his Slayer demolition plan in action!
To be continued.....
Buffy pulled the huge car into the shade of the carport at Giles' apartment, then got out and had a bone-creaking stretch. God, she hated driving! She was stiff and exhausted and stupid Spike was crashed out like a baby in the back seat.
A little vindictive smile lifted the corners of her mouth and she swiftly pulled open the rear door of the car. Spike's upper half came tumbling out and he cracked his head a good one on the pavement. The vampire scrambled away from the line of sun that marked the edge of the carport's shadow.
"We're here," Buffy remarked dryly. Spike just fixed her with an accusing stare, then retrieved his blanket and wrapped himself again.
Just then Willow and Xander came spilling out of Giles' front door and ran to envelop Buffy in a group hug.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! So SORRY!," Willow said over and over. "Everything's my fault!"
"It is. It really is!" Xander chimed in, hugging just as fiercely. "Willow was a very naughty Wicca."
Spike, huddled in the deepest shadow of the carport, let out a bark of bitter laughter, "Hah!"
"Will, everyone makes mistakes," Buffy soothed. "It's okay. This was just....an exceptionally huge one." She broke away from the hug. "You want to tell me what the hell happened?"
"Oh, Buffy, I was hurting so much and I just wanted it to stop! I thought, 'How hard can it be to just use my will and control my feelings?' It was just a little spell, really. It was only supposed to affect me - not anyone else. But suddenly what I said about people came true. I -I told Giles he didn't 'SEE' anything, and....you get the picture."
"So you, what, wanted me to marry......" Buffy couldn't even say his name, but just gestured with her head toward Spike. Xander glanced at him and shuddered.
"Well, I wanted you to spend time with me, but you had to go look for doofy over there so I said to Xander...."
"If she needs Spike so much, why doesn't she just go....."Xander continued, and they all spoke in unison, "Marry him."
"Oh my god," Buffy murmured. She shook herself. "Well. What'd done is done. It was a mistake. It's over. Now let's find a way to fix this."
"Fix....." Xander asked. "What's to fix? You have wedding gifts to return or something?"
"Besides some paperwork, which can easily be taken care of, we have these." Buffy displayed her hand with the shining gold band to her friends.
"Ooh, pretty," Willow squealed reflexively. "Uh, I mean, Buffy, why don't you, you know, just take it off?"
"Demon-made. Immovable," Buffy explained succinctly. "Like, forever immovable." She jerked her head toward Spike again. "He's got one, too."
Willow grabbed her hand and examined the ring, trying to move it or even rotate it on Buffy's finger, but the band was melded to the girl's flesh.
"I am SO sorry," the young witch moaned.
"Bloody Christ!" Spike exploded. "Don't start that again. Can we take this inside? I'm parboiling out here."
"Remind me again why we just don't stake him or, easier yet, take his widdle blanky away and push him out in the sun," Xander complained.
"Xander!" Willow's eyes were wide. "We don't know anything about the spell that made these rings. The two of them may be joined in such a way that what happens to one happens to the other!"
The note in her voice of near-excitement at the possibilities, made Buffy feel the urge to take Spike's advice and pop her in the nose. Willow, locked and loaded in full research mode, led the group into Giles' apartment, babbling all the way.
*********
"Here it is," Giles exclaimed twenty minutes later, as he pulled yet another dusty book from the box he hadn't gotten around to unpacking. He flipped it open, muttering under his breath, as he flipped pages. "H'rassee....H'rassee.....ah! 'Pharsi dimension', 'peace-loving', 'mate for life'. Yes, Spike was quite right about their beliefs in fidelity. Ah! And here's the part about the rings.....only one paragraph, hm.... 'Two, pledging their lifelong troth to one another, shall become as one. The rings will bind them for all eternity. There shall be no separation, neither of flesh, nor breath, nor life....' That's it. Nothing about how to break the bond."
"What does that mean? Tell me it's not literal!" Buffy sounded slightly panicked. "Is it like Willow said? That what happens to one of us...."
"Not necessarily," the Watcher spoke with authority. "It could be...."
"I already don't have breath or life," Spike interrupted. "How does this apply to me?"
"We could stab Spike and see if Buffy feels it." Anya had arrived shortly after the honeymooners and was eager to make up for lost time on putting her two cents in. She added, thoughtfully, "You know, I've heard of these H'rassee, but they're not the vengeance type. Haven't had a call from one in...ever. Maybe they're on to something."
"Anya, you're not helping," Xander cut her off.
"As I was saying," Giles voice took on an edge. "It could be a figurative joining. I don't think we need to panic just yet."
"Easy for you to say!" Spike was up and pacing the room. "You're not the one with a hunk of metal welded to your skin! And psychically attached to a bird who lives to die!"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Buffy took a defensive stance with her arms folded across her chest.
"It means I don't intend to become dust because you have a fondness for throwing yourself at things bigger than you are."
"And even if the bond were more than figurative," Giles continued. "Perhaps, as Spike said, it isn't complete since you don't meet the criteria. In order to 'not be separated by flesh, breath, or life', you would first have to have possessed these things, correct? Spike, as we know, hasn't breath or life. And, the two of you...well....haven't 'shared' the pleasures of the flesh, so that......" A quick look up from his book at Buffy's face was all Giles needed. "Oh dear."
Willow, seeing Buffy and Spike's lightning-fast mutual glance, gasped. Anya let out a little snort of laughter.
"What? What?" Xander looked wildly around the room from one person to another. "Did I miss something? What?"
***********
"You don't understand. We were MARRIED!" Buffy explained for the twentieth time. "It was our wedding night!"
"Yeah, the spell. I get it. But, Buffy, Spike??!!" Xander was pale as a sheet and Anya hovered over him sponging his forehead.
"I think Spike is quite attractive," the ex-demon chimed in, helpfully. "It's only natural when human hormones come into play that these things happen. And you know vampires will jump anything that moves."
"Grow up, Harris," Spike growled from his perch on Giles counter. "Screw the screwing. What I'm concerned about is how to get this bloody thing OFF!" He turned to Giles, who was deep into his second Scotch of the day and had his head buried in his hands. "Look, Watcher, you know we vamps regenerate pretty quickly. I mean, look how fast I came back from having my spine mangled by your Slayer. What if I were to just," he made a snicking noise as he scissored his fingers, "cut it off. How long do y'spose it would take to grow back?"
Buffy grabbed her own finger protectively. "You are NOT going to cut our...your....my finger off!" She jumped up suddenly. "I can't deal with this anymore. We're getting nowhere. We still don't know if these rings are anything more than an...an inconvenience, and I have other plans for this afternoon! I just have to chill for awhile!"
"Plans? What plans?" Spike demanded.
"Giles, can I chain him up in your bathtub again? Please! Just for this afternoon? I don't want him going anywhere or doing anything stupid, and I...I...uh....have a date."
"Riley finally asked you out?" Willow exclaimed. "Good boy. I told him you'd say yes."
"Riley? Who's Riley?" Anya asked. "No one ever tells me anything! Did you know about this?" She poked Xander, who just shrugged and slumped farther down in the couch.
"Do you really think it's wise at a time like this," Giles asked as if reading a cue card. "Do you think it's appropriate?" He didn't bother waiting for her answer, knowing Buffy always did exactly as she wanted anyway, but took another deep swallow of the amber nectar in his glass.
"Giles, it's always a 'time like this'! I have a chance to spend some time with a nice, normal, very sweet guy. He's expecting me! We made a date and I'm going to keep it."
"Let me get this straight," Spike's quiet but deadly voice cut through the din. "You hold MY life in your hands and you're going on a DATE?!! No one goes anywhere until this is resolved!" Quick as an adder he slipped off the counter, seized a knife from the butcher block, and drove it through his hand, impaling it on the table. Blood geysered up from the wound.
Buffy gasped. Willow, Anya and Xander screamed.
"Did you feel that?" Spike asked casually. "Your hand hurt at all?"
"N-no," she answered, shakily, then with more confidence and the beginning of joy. "NO!!"
"Guess it was figurative after all," Giles mumured.
"Well, that doesn't necessarily prove anything!" Anya declared, playing devil's advocate to her earlier statement. "It was over-dramatic and impulsive, but didn't threaten Buffy's life at all. If they really share one life force you couldn't prove it without killing one or the other of them. That's just common sense!"
Spike pulled the knife back out of the counter and his hand with a stomach- churning slurping sound of tearing flesh. "Got a rag, Watcher?" he asked.
"That tears it," Buffy announced. "You're going in the tub! He's going in the tub, Giles. I'll be back later this evening, and if he's been good....MAYBE....I'll let him out." She grabbed a dishtowel from a drawer and quickly bound the vampire's hand with vicious tightness, then she grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him toward the bathroom.
Spike scowled from under knitted black brows as she manacled his wrists and criss-crossed chains around his body with single-minded determination.
"Oh, that's right Slayer. It's right back to square one then?"
"What's that supposed to mean? You think I should suddenly TRUST you now?"
"Well, you don't have to tie me up. It's not like I'm going anywhere 'til we get this ring business settled." He paused, cocked his head and favored her with the tongue-behind-the-teeth leer. "Unless.....Maybe you just get off on seeing me trussed up 'n vulnerable, eh? Is that your kick? No wait. Favorite turn-ons......let's see....the toe nibbling thing and some light spanking and, oh yes, ice on the nipples and....."
Buffy punched him in the nose and his head cracked back against the tile wall. She flushed bright red and Spike went dizzy from the combination of the blow to his head and the scent of all that delicious blood rushing just under the surface of her skin.
"Oooh, and you call yourself a white-hat? Torturing helpless creatures!"
Buffy leaned toward his face and hissed menacingly. "Look, Spike, I know some secrets too. I thought we were putting the whole thing behind us, but if you're going to open that can of worms, two can play."
If possible, Spike went even paler than his customary shade of snow. He swallowed and his lips thinned to a tight line.
"For that matter...." A little imp inside Buffy refused to drop it. "I know things you'd enjoy a lot less than being tied up here. Don't forget," her voice dropped to a whisper, "I know how you feel about, oh say.....dark boxes."
The stricken look in his eyes sent a momentary pang through her. And it wasn't the 'I'm delighted to have gotten a zinger in at the annoying vampire' kind of pang. Good old-fashioned guilt moved in and took up residence. As his eyes fell away from hers, she felt like she'd kicked some poor, mangy dog in the ribs.
Spike settled back against the porcelain, closed his eyes and rested his head on the cold, hard surface. "Ask the Watcher to bring up a blood pack if he gets the chance," he said tonelessly, dismissing her.
She stood there for another second, watching him. Even considered putting a rolled up towel behind his head. It really did look quite uncomfortable. Then she shook her head and turned on her heel, leaving him to his own warped vampiric thoughts.
Returning to the living room, Buffy found Xander and Anya had left; Xander to his most recent minimum wage job and Anya to check with an old acquaintance she thought might have some useful information. Sometimes it amazed Buffy how hard Anya tried to help, when, honestly, she and Willow treated her pretty shabbily.
Willow's face was inches from the huge book she was absorbed in. Giles was resting with an arm flung over his eyes. Buffy wondered if it was alcohol or residual spell results that were affecting him.
"Will, I'm heading back to the dorm. Want to go with?" she asked.
Willow looked up with a wan smile. "No. I have at least....two dozen more books I should go through. Think I'll be here awhile."
Buffy nodded and turned to leave.
"Oh, and Buffy. Again with the 'I'm sorry and owe you whatever you ask of me for the rest of my life!' and pleading temporary depression and bad judgment. 'Kay?"
Buffy pinned on a false, bright smile. "It's okay. You can stop apologizing now. Anything you can do to get these rings off will more than even the score."
Buffy traveled the long path to SU campus, barely aware of the bright day and passersby around her. She stopped at the local market to pick up some deli food for the picnic. She considered buying little storage containers so it would look like she'd made it herself, but decided that concealing things about oneself was not the best way to approach a new relationship. She moved in a dream as the greater part of her mind insisted on replaying a particular part of the previous night.
****** "It's all right. You can tell me anything, Spike. You know that. It's just you and me. Nothing we say leaves here." Her hand brushed through the tousled hair of the head that rested against her stomach, as she murmured. "Just you and me. We never have to have secrets. We have each other."
"Yeah?" he asked, quietly.
"Yeah," she assured. "You're mine now. I'm yours. Whatever bothers you, I want to share. Besides..." she added with a smile in her voice, "I showed you mine."
"It's just.ah, it's nothing."
"No. It's not nothing. I have these prophetic Slayer dreams so I know a thing or two about it. You said you have nightmares. Please, tell me what they're about. Please?"
He drew a deep breath. "Um. Trapped. Dark. Alone. Doesn't sound like much really. Of course I know what they're from, but even after all these years, I still have'em sometimes."
"And what are they from?" Buffy prompted, "Getting out of your coffin?"
"Well, yeah, there's that, but there's more.You might not want to hear this. It's about Angelus."
"Anything," Buffy said firmly. "Trust me. Tell me."
******
"Excuse me, miss? Are you going to pick something or just stand there?" Buffy came back to reality with a start, realized she was taking up space in front of the deli counter, and quickly shuffled to the side. She brushed her hand in front of her face as if shredding cobwebs, squared her shoulders, took a cleansing breath and tried to concentrate on today not some spell-induced hallucination. Everything about that night had been a sham, a trick. She had to remember that!
When she finally made it back to her dorm room, Buffy took one look at her bed and almost called Riley to cancel. Lack of sleep, psychological stress and the long drive had pushed her to the limits of her reserve. But instead of collapsing into much needed rest, she jumped in the shower and washed away the grime of the journey. She suppressed the thought of just what she was washing away as the soapy puff traveled over her private parts. Naughty Buffy thoughts - begone!
Again, as she chose an outfit, her gaze rested longingly on her pillow with Mr. Gordo perched jauntily atop it. Even Buffy was self aware enough to realize that at this point her need to go out with Riley was representational of something much bigger than a mere social date. She would not back down. She would not be defined by her Slayer role. She would not allow the bizarre twists of her life to control her. She WOULD go on a date with nice, normal-guy Riley.
********* Spike lay sullenly in the Watcher's tub, wondering how long it would take the wanker to get him some food. A persistent drip of water from the faucet had wetted one shoulder. Just another annoyance to add to the list.
He went over his battle plan regarding the Slayer: Get cursed wedding band off finger. Find army blokes and capture a scientist. Get chip out of head. Torture and destroy Slayer's friends. Torture and destroy Slayer. Leave Sunnydale. Forever this time.
He thought it was a pretty good plan. Wondered how he was going to execute it.
As his mind began to lose focus and drift off toward sleep again, Spike's thoughts inexorably began to revolve around the previous night. He may have given Summers ammunition to damage him, but she had her own confidences she was probably wishing she'd kept to herself.
****** Soft skin slid under his hand. Stroking her was like touching finest satin. He thought he could do this - just this - petting and feeling her warmth, forever....until her skin wore away under his fingers.
"So tell me, sweetheart, what's your biggest fear? 'Show me yours and I'll show you mine'," he added, voice dripping with sexual innuendo. "Oops. Too late. You already did." He chuckled when she smacked the back of his head. He kissed her belly and she went back to running her fingers through his hair. Making a frightful mess of it she was, no doubt.
"Well," she began, uncertainly. "I'm afraid of failure. Of not getting there in time to save someone. Of not being good enough."
"Too general," Spike dismissed. "Everyone's afraid of failure. Besides, love, I can tell from your voice that's not the one. Not the big one. The thing that wakes you up at night in a cold sweat." He continued stroking her gently, waiting for that to sink in, but as she remained silent, his impatience got the better of him and he just had to talk. "Go on. Give me more. Let it out. Put it all on me."
"I-I'm afraid...." Buffy's began. Spike's hand stilled as he tuned his full attention on the nuances of her voice. "I'm afraid....of being left behind. Of being...um....unwanted. Unlovable."
"No! Where would you get such an idea? Impossible! Who could not love you, my perfect angel?" Spike cut off as he realized what he'd said - 'angel'. Who else but that bog-trotting bastard could've mucked up her mind so? It was with surprise that he heard her answer...
"My dad," she said, simply.
He resumed his stroking motion, encouraging her without words to continue.
"He didn't just leave my mom, you see? He left me. Oh, of course they both said, 'It's not about you, Buffy, sometimes grownups just...blah, blah, blah. We both still love you as much as ever...blah, blah, blah.' It was all bullshit!"
The force of her exclamation, startled him. Not to mention that fact that he hadn't heard her use any word stronger than 'hell' since he'd known her. He wanted to jump right in with comfort words, 'I'm sure your father loves you' and the like, but for once Spike forced himself to silence.
"At first he called once a week - came over once every couple of weeks and took me out somewhere. After we moved to Sunnydale, I was the one who had to call him or we never would have talked at all. And do you know how many times he returned the favor? Do you know how often he called me? Once. Once to tell me he couldn't make it to my high school graduation. Which, as it turned out, was probably good, what with the Mayor's Ascension and all. The only other time we had plans together - for my birthday - he didn't even give me the obligatory call, just sent flowers and a note saying, 'Sorry honey. No ice capades this year.' and, oh, yes, a nice fat check."
Buffy drew a deep, shivering breath that tore his heart out. Spike's demon raged to the surface and his face shimmered into folds and fangs as he envisioned what he'd like to do to the man.
"That's me and my dad," she ended in a tiny, choked voice. "After that, when everything happened with Angel, as much as it hurt, I almost expected it. It was just rubbing salt in an old wound - nothing new for Buffy."
Spike pulled himself up on one elbow to face her. He put his hand to her cheek and forced her tear-filled eyes toward him. He glared at her with all the fierceness a 100 plus vampire could muster.
"You listen to me," he commanded, golden eyes glittering. "I'M here now! And you won't be rid of me so easily. NOTHING could make me stop loving you or ever conceive of leaving you. There's nothing in you that is not lovable. Only a pair of absolute cretins could even think about giving you up! Understand?" He cupped her chin and gave her face a little shake for emphasis. "You are mine now. I would NEVER leave you alone."
Buffy gave a little whimper and surged forward to hug him so tight around the neck she would've broken it if he wasn't superhuman.
"Love you, Spike! I love you," she murmured over and over.
"That's my girl." He soothed. "Spike's here now."
When their emotional outpouring had run its course, he slid back down to his comfortable place against her belly and resumed the stroking thing.
"Of course...." Spike allowed his words to trail off, as a wicked grin crept over his face.
"What? I can feel you smiling down there," Buffy demanded.
"Oh, just....You know I was lying about you having NO unlovable qualities, right? There's the short temper, the pettiness, the righteousness, oooh and priggishness. But mostly the whole 'better than thou' attitude AND the punching me in the face thing. THAT'S pretty unlovable." By now he was snickering against her skin.
"Thanks. You're a real comfort, Spike," she said, dryly, tugging on a handful of his hair.
He sobered and added in an intimate growl. "But, you know what I love best about you, my slayer? All of it! The whole package. Wouldn't be you without the warts, eh?"
*****
Spike snapped to wakefulness at the Watcher's tread coming up the stairs. Time to get his head out of his rear and face reality. Time to try and begin to put his Slayer demolition plan in action!
To be continued.....