Disclaimer: I do not own Pippin or any of the other fellowship members in this fic. They all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien.
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Chapter 2…
It was a perfectly normal sunny day outside. Nothing seemed to be amiss. The shining sun was bearing down on the trodden path below, engulfing the hardened clay in its warmth, muddy piles forming in clumps where the sun's rays were beaming the hardest. The path was claimed by a peaceful silence. Not a creature could be seen or heard nearby. The silence did not last, for the trotting of a horse could soon be heard in the distance, its pace quickening with every trot. By the time it entered the scene, the horse was galloping at an incredible speed, leaving the picture as soon as it came. Silence once again fell upon the walkway.
"COME BACK HERE WITH MY CLOTHES, YOU STUPID HORSE!!!!"
A naked hobbit suddenly came streaking past, his hands conveniently positioned over the lower regions of his body. After this disruption, the ever so calming silence might as well have been wished good-bye never to be heard again, for the moment the naked hobbit left, a rustling soon followed, a creature emerging from the hidden shadows nearby.
"Uugghhh…" Rising too fast, Pippin let out an almost inaudible groan as he clutched his throbbing head with his hands. He quickly laid back down again and closed his eyes tightly as he waited for the pain to subside. Once he felt well enough and was able to think more clearly, Pippin, with a dazed but even more perplexed expression, thought to himself, What am I doing on the ground? Why did my head hurt so much when I tried to sit up? WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER ANYTHING?!
He racked his brain really hard for some answers. Just when Pippin was about to give up, the memory of that day's events flooded his mind.
Pippin woke up feeling very mischievous as he did most other days. Every day, his goal is to cause as much havoc as he can, and that day was not an exception. He had a feeling that he was going to cause more havoc that day than he had done any other day, and how right he was!
Pippin went to join the other members of the fellowship as soon as he was ready. On his way there, he remembered something incriminating he found out about Legolas that would help him in his goal to cause havoc. A mischievous grin crept up his face.
When Pippin reached his destination, he saw that the rest of the fellowship was holding a discussion. Pippin decided to join their conversation. "Hey, guys!" The other members of the fellowship turned to face him. With a smile on his face, Pippin continued. "Did you know that Legolas admires himself in the mirror while wearing women's dresses?" They all turned to stare at Legolas, whose face resembled a red tomato. To keep up with the pretenses, Pippin quickly wore an expression of fake guilt. "Oops. That was supposed to be a secret, wasn't it?" Suddenly, Legolas sprang up from his seat and started chasing Pippin. "You're not going to get away with this, Pippin!" he shouted. The fellowship looked on as Legolas ran after Pippin, who was giggling into his hand as he ran. Pippin quickly slipped into the shadows after turning a sharp corner, losing Legolas in the process. Pippin was ecstatic at how well his plan turned out, and he couldn't stop laughing. "One down…" he muttered.
Pippin looked around to see in which room he was. He saw a pink bed with a body-length mirror by its side and a few women's dresses hanging over it. "I must be in Legolas's room", he said to himself. He looked on the drawer and saw a hand-held mirror. He recognized it as Legolas's favorite mirror which he usually never leaves his room without. This must be my lucky day, Pippin thought, as he took the mirror from the stand and placed it in his knapsack. "Legolas will be so furious when he finds it missing!" Pippin exclaimed emphatically, a wide smile etched on his features. Pippin quickly slipped out of Legolas's bedroom and into the halls.
A glimmer of silver in the distance quickly caught his eyes. His curious nature took over. He went closer to the object to find out what it was. When he reached the object, he saw that it was Aragorn's sword, Elendil. I wonder what Aragorn would do if he found his precious in a pile of horse manure, Pippin thought, a mischievous grin once again claiming his face. He went outside where the fellowship were, minus Legolas, and saw Aragorn there. Making sure that Aragorn wasn't looking, he placed Elendil in the horse manure near the horse stables. He ducked out of there quickly. As he was walking away, in the distance, he heard an anguish cry, "Elendil!", soon followed by the angry exclamation, "PIPPIN!" As soon as he heard that, Pippin quickly ran away in another direction, guffawing the whole way. "Two down…"
Pippin looked up to see where his feet took him. He didn't know where he was exactly, but what he saw made him squeal for joy. "This must really be my lucky day!" he exclaimed, ecstatic, for what he saw was Gandalf's staff. Pippin knew that the staff never left Gandalf's side, even when he was taking a bath! "Yes, this must be my very lucky day!" Pippin took Gandalf's staff with him to the bathroom. He filled the toilet with as many sticks and leaves he could find, placed Gandalf's staff inside it, and flushed it. Suddenly, the water in the toilet started flowing over. Gandalf must have been nearby, for he entered the bathroom a few moments later. Pippin didn't even have time to escape. Gandalf looked at Pippin and then looked at the toilet. Pippin figured that he must have noticed his staff just then because Gandalf's face was getting so red, he thought he was going to have a heart attack right then. What Gandalf did next surprised Pippin completely. He just slumped against the wall to the floor, placed his face into his hands, and started to sob. "Fool of a Took…first time I decided to forego my staff…gonna be my last…" Pippin stared at Gandalf in bewilderment for awhile. Wow! Pippin thought. He's having a nervous breakdown! I actually caused Gandalf to have a nervous breakdown! Knowing that when Gandalf gets over his nervous breakdown he would be in a heap of trouble, Pippin quickly ran far away from them and started walking down a path.
"What a wonderfully splendid day!" Pippin exclaimed, a really wide smile taking over his face. "And it's only noon!" He was wondering how to cause more havoc when he found a black stone on the ground. There was something written on it in elvish, but he didn't know what it said. Suddenly, he realized he was really hungry. He looked at the stone and ate it. It left a very pleasant lemony aftertaste. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his stomach, a pain so blinding he felt like he was going to die, and he felt himself slipping away into darkness…
Pippin's mind was reeling from all the memories. He didn't let this get to him, however. He was able to remain unfazed and calmly sort out his memories. Now that I remember what happened to me, I must now figure out how much time has passed since I passed out, Pippin thought. He looked to see if there was anything around him that could aid him in his quandary. His eyes searched the area surrounding him until they rested upon the sun above. Well, let's see, he thought. Judging from the placement of the sun and using the fact that the fellowship has not come searching for me yet, I can conclude that not much time has passed since I left them and that it is probably only one hour past noon.
Pippin's eyes suddenly widened in surprise as he realized that he just figured out something using logic, and on top of all that, he did it all by himself with no one's help. Now Pippin might not be that smart, but he was smart enough to know that this was not a usual occurrence. In fact, he knew himself well enough to know that what just happened was, in actuality, impossible. Letting the fact that he had somehow grown smart not even overnight sink into his mind, Pippin let out a squeal of delight. The moment he heard his voice, however, his smile quickly turned upside down. Something about his voice was off. VERY off. Frowning, he tried to figure out what was wrong, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. A few moments passed when he let out a small gasp.
"My voice sounds like a girl's!!!" Pippin cried. Panicking, he quickly sprang upward from his sitting position to his feet. Pippin suddenly felt very light-headed. It felt like he was floating in air. Pippin peered downward to see why. "Eep", Pippin squealed, horrified to see that, instead of being a mere four feet from the ground, he was now more like six feet above it. Remembering that he was deathly afraid of heights, he suddenly felt very dizzy and let out a shrill girly scream.
After a few moments had passed, Pippin finally ceased his screaming. Calming himself, he looked down again and let out a loud gasp of surprise as he suddenly noticed what he was wearing. Instead of his usual green tights and vest, he saw that he was now wearing a long flowing blue dress made out of silk. He stared at it in amazement.
After getting over his initial shock, he scratched his head in wonder. He didn't recall seeing himself changing into this dress in his memories. In fact, he couldn't recall changing at all. He was utterly and terribly perplexed by now, and his bewilderment clearly showed in both his face and his eyes. Shaking his head, Pippin brought his attention back to the dress. He let his hands travel over the blue garment, marveling at its silky texture. He found himself feeling rather comfortable in it. "It feels so soft and cool against my skin", Pippin muttered. He jumped at the girl's voice, and looked around to see where it came from. "Who's there?" he asked, his voice wavering. Pippin suddenly remembered that it was his own voice. Embarrassed, he blushed. He still wasn't used to it being so girly, so he figured that that's why he must have momentarily forgotten. Relieved to know that that was the only reason he forgot and that it was not because of his stupidity, he felt the warmth quickly fading from his cheeks.
His thoughts reverted back to reality, and he looked down again to see what else has changed. "Eewww!" Pippin exclaimed, his nose scrunched up in disgust, when he caught a glimpse of his feet. Instead of being their normal hairy selves, they were abnormally hair-free. His gaze lingered for awhile on his feet before he started to become very curious as to how the rest of him looked. His eyes traveled up the length of his dress until they stopped at his chest. He was so surprised that his eyes were practically hanging out of their sockets. His chest was really big. Suddenly, he was very curious about how his face and hair looked.
He searched the ground with his eyes until they landed on his knapsack in the shadows nearby. Pippin bent down to pick it up. It seemed like forever to him when his hands were finally able to reach ground level. He took the knapsack with his hands and slowly stood up so that he wouldn't feel light-headed and dizzy like he did before. When he stood up again, he found that he was quickly getting used to the height difference and wasn't so scared anymore. He opened his knapsack and plundered into it with his hands. After much searching, he came upon what he wanted. "Ah, here it is!", Pippin exclaimed, carefully taking out the mirror that he had stolen from Legolas earlier that day.
Pippin raised the mirror until it was level with his face. As he got a clear look at his reflection, Pippin couldn't help letting out a small gasp. Aside from being Pippin's Wonderfully Splendid Day, that day was turning out to be Pippin's Full of Surprises Day as well. He was amazed at how gorgeous he looked. His face looked really smooth and rubbing his face with his hands confirmed this. He had a perfect complexion, too. He also noticed how his eyes were a lovely piercing blue, and how much they stuck out next to his sun-kissed golden blonde waist-length hair.
He smiled at his reflection. "Wow! I'm so pretty!" He was so pretty, he was practically drooling on himself. In fact, he was drooling on himself. As he daintily wiped away his drool with a piece of cloth he found in his knapsack, he noticed how his fingernails were perfectly clean and not chipped unlike how his fingernails were before his transformation. "I liked them unclean and chipped", Pippin pouted to himself. "They were easier to take care of that way."
After Pippin put the cloth and the mirror back into his knapsack, he was marveling over his new look. He couldn't place why exactly, but his reflection seemed very familiar to him. Suddenly, it came to him. "I look exactly like Legolas!" Pippin exclaimed, feeling very proud of himself for remembering. His expression of pride quickly changed over to one of disgust. "Eewww! How can Legolas stand having hair-less feet?" Suddenly, Pippin realized something.
"If I look exactly like Legolas, then am I an elf?" He quickly took out the mirror from his knapsack again and looked at his ears in the mirror. They were long and pointy. "I AM an elf!" Pippin exclaimed, happily. "And what a gorgeous elf am I!" Suddenly, Pippin had another realization. A mischievous gleam appeared in both of Pippin's eyes as a mischievous grin slowly crept up his face. "I look exactly like Legolas AND I'm a girl elf…"
And just like that, Pippin's Wonderfully Splendid Day just picked up a notch!
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A/N: I made Pippin a Mary-Sue!!! Hehe ^_^ I can't believe some people thought I killed him! I could never kill my cute ickle wittle Pupsy-Wupsy! Hehe ^_^ Well, I hope you all liked this chapter! Thanks for reading! ^_^
Schizo Elf Chick: I'm glad you like my fic! Thanks for reviewing! ^_^ And you never know…Legolas might really be a transvestite. I mean, he definitely has the figure for it! Hehe ^_^
J: Yay! I'm really glad you like this! And I'll definitely keep going! It's so much fun to write! Thanks for reviewing! ^_^
Shauna: Pippin humiliating Legolas is funny, isn't it? Hehe ^_^ Yes, I certainly think so. Ooh! So you're saying my fic is original and awesome? Yay! ^_^ Thanks so much for your review! It made me really happy! ^_^
Leggy44: Hey! I read your fic, and it is real funny! Thanks for telling me about it! ^_^ But I hate Legolas cuz of the way they portray him in the movies, really. I mean, I don't really care about Legolas in the books. I don't really remember him in the books, to tell you the truth. So whenever I insult Legolas, it's movie Legolas. Thanks for your review, though! I'm really glad you liked it! ^_^
Oddwen: What are you talking about? Of course Pippin's real! But you're right, he's not just some cutsie iddle real person. He's Pippin, the cutest iddle real person ever! Hehe ^_^ Thanks for your review AND placing me in your favorite's! You're the best! ^_^
tookcrazy & ancalime1283: How could you guys think I killed off Pippin? I would never ever EVER kill off Pippin. He's just too adorable! In fact, the only one I've killed off and the only one I will ever kill off is Legolas! Hehe ^_^ So, does this mean you don't hate this fic anymore, tookcrazy, and that you won't have to kill me? YAY! ^_^ Well, I'm glad that you like it now, tookcrazy, and I'm glad that you already liked it ancalime1283! Hope you liked this chappie! Thanks so much for your review! It was very entertaining! ^_^