Ony day Merton was near his locker. He saw a girl, she was pretty, he liked her. Merton's friend Tommy came along and said "Hi" and Merton told him to shut up cause he was lookin at the pretty girl, only Tommy thought she was butt-ugly, she had piss-yellow hair and brown eyes, she was wearing a moth-eaten flannel shirt, no bra and what looked to be her brothers old gympants. But Merton ran right up to her and kissed her, she had only 3 teeth, all of which were yellow and rotting.

Tommy ran off in fear of the ugly looking hick girl, and Merton and the Hick girl ran off into the janitors closet to make out.

THE END