Water poured from the brass faucet, filling the smooth marble tub. Muffy/Brain glanced at the digital temperature control again, hoping she didn't need to change the setting in order to avoid a scalding.
Her eyes scanned the multitude of bottles lining the side of the tub. Three different kinds of shampoo, three bottles filled with something called conditioner, various moisturizers, lotions, and salts...
"Where do I start?" she wondered. Brain only needed a dab of shampoo to wash his short hair, but maybe girl hair had more complicated requirements.
Discouragement filled Brain's mind and Muffy's heart. "I should just go back to bed, pretend I'm sick, and sleep until this ends. But what if it doesn't end? What if I'm stuck like this?"
Muffy/Brain fumbled with her nightgown, looking for buttons, a zipper, or some other way to remove it. "Besides," she thought, "I've got a feeling the answer is at school. At least I hope so. I don't think it's here in Muffy's..."
Her train of thought was interrupted by a dreadful realization.
Brain had no sisters. He had never seen a girl with no clothes before...
----
In the lavishly furnished Crosswire dining room, Ed Crosswire sat at the pine table, reading the newspaper. The date on the front page was May 12, and the headline read, "Unrest Continues in Karjakistan".
"Listen to this one," he said as he perused the opinion section. "Someone must stand up to the evil empire of Crossliar Motors."
"Hmm, that's clever," said his wife, Millicent, as she sat at the other end of the table, holding a pencil and working out a crossword puzzle.
Claude, their uniformed manservant, stood next to the range, sprinking brown sugar over three bowls of oatmeal.
"Here's another one," Mr. Crosswire continued. "You're better off mulching your garden with the money you would spend on a Crosswire car."
"What's a five-letter word for avarice?" Mrs. Crosswire asked him.
"Darned if I know," he answered. "And darned if I know why these people keep coming back if they hate my cars so much. I'm not the only car dealer in Elwood City."
At this moment Muffy walked into the dining room, applying a brush to her moist hair with weak, ineffectual strokes. Mrs. Crosswire noticed that the back of her dress was open, and reached over to fasten the buttons. "We were starting to think you'd drowned," she quipped.
"So," inquired Mr. Crosswire, "how was your bath?"
"Educational," Muffy replied.
"Where are your stockings?" asked Mrs. Crosswire.
"I knew I forgot something," said Muffy emotionlessly.
"I will get ze stockings," said Claude as he walked quickly out of the dining room.
As Muffy pulled a chair away from the table and sat down, Mrs. Crosswire took a bowl of oatmeal from the counter and placed it in front of her. "Here's your oatmeal, Muffin."
"Good," said Muffy lackadaisically as she picked up a spoon. "No better way to start the day than with a little fiber in your diet."
Mr. Crosswire lowered his newspaper and looked at Muffy with surprise. "Who are you and what have you done with Muffy?" he asked.
Muffy dropped her spoon, startled.
Mr. Crosswire smiled. "You usually don't like oatmeal."
"Oh, yeah," said Muffy as she tried to form a convincing grimace. "Eww! Vomitrocious!" she added without conviction.
"That's more like it," said Mrs. Crosswire, who then watched with a bit of surprise as Muffy quickly shoveled spoonful after spoonful into her mouth.
Claude returned to the dining room with Muffy's stockings. Muffy laid down her spoon while Mrs. Crosswire removed her shoes and started to fit the stockings onto her legs. Brain, still trapped in Muffy's head, found this unfamiliar method of dressing rather uncomfortable.
While Claude started to clean the counter tops, Mrs. Crosswire placed Muffy's shoes on her feet again. "Now let me do something about that hair of yours," she said as she started to braid Muffy's hair.
"Hmph," grunted Muffy as she started to wolf down what was left of her oatmeal.
"So what's the agenda for school today?" asked Mr. Crosswire as he folded the newspaper and set it down.
"Science test," Muffy answered with a mouth full of oatmeal. "But I shouldn't have any trouble."
"I'm glad to hear that," said Mrs. Crosswire as she took a bowl of oatmeal from the counter. "You usually do poorly on science tests."
"Uh, well," said Muffy nervously, "I shouldn't have any trouble because...er, Brain and I studied together yesterday."
"That's good," said Mr. Crosswire as he rose from the table. "Alan's a smart boy. He has a bright future."
Mr. Crosswire checked his watch and hurried out of the room. Muffy put down her spoon, and for a moment appeared deep in thought.
"Er, Mom, how many women scientists are there?"
Mrs. Crosswire gazed at her for a second, as if surprised at the question.
"Oh, there are many," she answered.
"Do they get to do the same things that the men scientists do?"
"Yes," said Mrs. Crosswire, "most of the time, I think. Why do you ask?"
Mr. Crosswire entered the dining room again, clutching his briefcase. He grabbed a bowl of oatmeal and a spoon, and quickly downed a few bites.
"Well," said Muffy, "if I'm like this for the rest of...I mean, er, science is just one thing I've been considering, but I don't know if I'm good enough at it."
"Don't give up on the fashion model thing, Muffin," said Mr. Crosswire as he put down the bowl of oatmeal, kissed his wife, and rushed out of the mansion.
Muffy rose from the table, and Claude handed her a tote bag and a lunch box. "Time for school, madamoiselle."
As Mrs. Crosswire accompanied Muffy to the front of the mansion where the limousine waited, Brain's mind was racing. "I can't do this. I can't live somebody else's life. Why is this happening to me?"
Carrying her bag and lunch box, Muffy walked slowly and determinedly...right past the limo.
Bailey, the chauffeur, lowered the window and called her. "Miss Muffy!"
Muffy walked a few more steps before realizing that Bailey was calling to her. Turning around, she walked back toward the limo, opened the door, and climbed inside.
"So this is how...we Crosswires travel," she muttered as she fastened her seat belt.
Bailey didn't respond, but pulled the limo out of the driveway, and was soon driving down the street in the direction of Lakewood Elementary.
Muffy/Brain looked down with disgust at the uncomely attire she had been forced to wear. Inside her head, Brain's mind spun in circles, searching for an explanation of, and possible escape from, his predicament.
"It's got to be a dream. But if it isn't a dream, what is it? Maybe it's a rupture in the space-time continuum. Maybe the other kids were affected too. But what if I'm the only one? And how will the others react if they find out I'm really The Brain, doomed to walk the earth as a female?"
As Muffy/Brain pondered what her classmates might do if they learned the truth, she involuntarily started to giggle.