"Today's English lesson is about diphthongs," said Mr. Ratburn as he wrote some pairs of vowels on the chalkboard.
Muffy/Brain was too absorbed in thought to hear the teacher's words.
"It's the only logical explanation," she said to herself, "so it must be the answer. I've got some kind of mental disorder, maybe schizophrenia, and it's making me think I'm Alan Powers, but I'm really Muffy Crosswire. And I can no longer tell fantasy from reality, so no matter how convincing Alan's memories and life experiences may appear, they're nothing but a delusion."
Muffy's lips curved into a faint smile.
"Muffy's parents...I mean, my parents...are rich enough to afford treatments. I may have to spend some time in a mental hospital, but then I'll be cured, and I'll think I'm Muffy again, and I'll live happily ever after."
An hour or so later, Muffy was pacing back and forth on the playground during recess, a look of determination on her face.
"Why is it so hard for me to accept this?" she mumbled. "Science leaves no alternative. My real name is Mary Alice Crosswire. I am, and always have been, and always will be, a girl. Nothing I do will ever change that."
Muffy paced and mumbled, then paced and mumbled some more, and then heard a familiar voice.
"Sorry to throw off your groove, Muffy," said Francine, "but you haven't said a thing about the movie tonight, and we're wondering if it's still going to happen."
Muffy stopped pacing and looked up to see Francine, Sue Ellen, and Fern standing in front of her. "Uh...movie...tonight?" she stuttered.
"Yes, Muffy," said Fern impatiently. "We're all going to see 'Spy Brats 7: The Unstoppable Sequels of Doom', remember?"
"You haven't been acting like yourself today," Sue Ellen remarked. "Maybe my statue did put a curse on you after all."
Confusion filled Brain's mind as he stared through Muffy's eyes at the three girls, but it was soon replaced by clarity. "This is just what I need. Maybe hanging out with the girls will help jog my memories of being Muffy."
"I...I'm sorry," said Muffy. "I don't know how I could have forgotten about that. I'm just...I'm just having a bad brain day, I guess."
Francine grinned. "Oh, we understand, Muffy. It's easy to forget about unimportant things like movies when you're in..."
Francine's implied meaning slowly dawned upon Muffy.
"Love?" said Muffy, sounding a bit frantic. "Who am I in love with?"
The other girls giggled.
"You really do have memory problems," Fern commented.
"Maybe it's time for a CAT scan," added Sue Ellen.
Muffy let out an exasperated sigh. "You're just trying to torment me, aren't you?"
"Just meet us at the theatre at seven," said Francine. "Tie a string to your finger so you don't forget."
"See you then," said Sue Ellen as she and Francine turned to leave.
Shortly, Fern and Muffy were left alone in the playground.
"Fern, who am I in love with?" asked Muffy earnestly.
"You really don't remember?" said Fern as she and Muffy walked toward a bench.
"No, I really don't," said Muffy. "Remind me."
"We were just teasing you," said Fern as she and Muffy sat down. "You're not in love with anyone, as far as we know."
"What a relief."
Fern suddenly became serious. "As for me, it's a different story."
Muffy gasped. "You...?"
"It's Alan," said Fern somberly. "I don't like calling him Brain."
Muffy's expression changed to one of shock. Inside her head, Brain's mind struggled to remain calm. "She's not talking about me," Muffy/Brain said sternly to herself.
"You're the one with all the advice," Fern said to her. "There must be a way to get Alan to notice me. I'd like to look him in the face and tell him how I feel, but I'm sure I would just turn into a poodle of nerves."
"You meant to say puddle, right?" said Muffy.
"Yes, I did."
Muffy appeared to become discouraged. "Normally, I would have plenty of free romantic advice to give out, but...Sue Ellen's right. I haven't been myself. Fern, I'm afraid I may be suffering from some dire malady."
Fern sighed. "You remind me of Alan when you use words like that. You're trying to say that you're sick, right?"
"Uh...yes. I think I'll go and see a doctor. Tomorrow."
"Maybe you should go today," Fern advised.
"No, I'll be fine," said Muffy as she rose from the bench. "I'll see you at the movie tonight."
As Muffy walked away and left Fern behind, Brain's mind continued to muse over this astonishing turn of events. "Fern...I never imagined...."
"Stop it," Muffy grumbled. "Stop thinking like a boy."
----
At about 8:30 p.m. that evening (the Spy Brats sequels were getting shorter and shorter), a crowd of people, mostly children, filed out of the Elwood City Googolplex. Among them were Muffy, Francine, Sue Ellen, and Fern.
"That was the best one yet," said Francine. "The sequels just get better and better."
"I think I'll be a spy when I grow up," said Sue Ellen.
"Why wait?" Fern responded.
"As for me," said Muffy with a hint of melancholy, "I haven't given up on the fashion model thing."
Muffy's limo was parked at the curb in front of the theater. "See you tomorrow," she said to the other girls as she climbed into the vehicle.
As Muffy fastened her seat belt, Bailey the chauffeur turned his head. "How was the movie, Miss Muffy?"
"It was...superlative."
As the limo pulled away from the curb, Muffy/Brain considered the events of the day. Going to the movie with the girls had been fun and enjoyable, and she had learned a few things about their secret lives that she (or, at least, Brain) hadn't known before. However, she could still not remember the slightest detail of Muffy's life previous to May 12th. Yet science demanded that the memories had to still be there, somewhere in her mind, unless they had been ripped away by some unspeakable trauma...
Not long afterward, Muffy had changed into her white nightgown, and Mrs. Crosswire was pulling the covers over her as she lay in her water bed.
"Good night, Mom," she said sweetly.
"Good night, Muffin," said Mrs. Crosswire, kissing Muffy on the cheek.
As Mrs. Crosswire turned out the lights and exited the bedroom, Muffy/Brain started to make plans for the next day. The first thing she would do was schedule a doctor appointment. Hopefully she would fully recover before long, but until that day came, she would try her best to be the Muffy that everyone knew and...tolerated.
She smiled. "Being a girl isn't such a bad thing. And being a stinking filthy rich girl...well..."
Suddenly Brain noticed the rays of the sun slipping through the blinds and landing on his face. He sat up quickly.
He was on his own bed, in his own room...in his own body.
A look of astonishment spread across his face.
"It was a dream," he muttered. "I dreamed I was Muffy. That was weird."
The dream, as he called it, had been incredibly vivid and realistic, but he pushed it from his mind as he climbed out of his bed.
Moments later he arrived in the kitchen of the Powers home, still dressed in his blue pajamas. His parents were seated at a dining table; his mother was eating cornflakes, and his father was reading the newspaper. The front page read, "Unrest Continues in Karjakistan", and the date was May 12th.
"Morning, Alan," said Mrs. Powers.
"Morning, Mom," Brain replied, smiling. "You won't believe the crazy dream I had last night."
"Tell me," she said.
"I dreamed I was..."
At that moment the phone rang. Mrs. Powers rose from the table and went into the living room, where she answered the phone.
"Hold on, I'll get him," Brain heard his mother say. "Alan, it's for you. It's Muffy."
Brain, wondering why Muffy would call so early, hurried into the living room and took the phone. "Hey, Muffy."
"Uh...hi, Brain," said Muffy on the other end. "How are you doing today?"
"Oh, I'm fine," Brain replied.
"I've got a question for you," said Muffy. "What's sixty-eight times forty-one?"
"2788," Brain answered effortlessly. "Anything else?"
"No," said Muffy. "I'll see you at school."
The call was cut off, and Brain hung up. He walked back to the kitchen, where his mother had put down eggs and bacon for his breakfast.
"What was that about?" asked Mr. Powers as he turned the page of the newspaper.
Brain picked up a strip of bacon and took a bite out of it. "It was Muffy. She wanted to know what sixty-eight times forty..."
Mr. Powers lowered his paper. "What?"
Brain had spit out his bacon and turned ghastly pale...