Author's Notes: Halos to all my readers! Thanks for the reviews. Here's Chapter 2 of "Journal of Robert Goren". I can't believe I'm actually updating so soon. See? Reviews do make me work faster. Anyway, I talk way too much. Below is the story of course.

There's some language in this chapter. (People need to wash their mouths out with soap!)

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Journal of Robert Goren

Chapter 2, Part 1: Blame and Flashbacks

By CJSpooks

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After reading the first entry in Goren's journal, Eames had fallen asleep on the living room floor of his apartment. When she awoke, she squinted in the bright sunlight that came through the window. She then sat up and sighed.

"Damn it all…Goren didn't see this coming, right? Are you sure there weren't any death threats or any other preludes to warn him?"

"Eames, he was attacked on his way home from work. Shot in the gut…we're just such that it wasn't a robbery. He was the primary target."

"Shit. I should've driven him home."

"No one saw this coming. Don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. You know that."

"Yeah…but…"

"I'm giving you a few days off. Don't worry. We're going to find the son of a bitch who did this."

"Thank you sir."

Even after the conversation with Deakins, she still blamed herself. Eames sat on Goren's couch, thinking and trying to keep his voice clear in her mind.

"Good Morning, Eames." –Goren said as she walked up to the desk.

"Oh hey…"

"You seem somewhere else this morning."

"Yeah well…"

"You know, a mind away affects the work of today."

"Did you make that up?"

"Yes, actually."

"Cute…very cute, Bobby."

Goren, being the unique and intelligent person that he was, made up wise sayings and quoted so many people. But, he never said the three words he was holding in…

Oh God, Eames thought, I need to stop this. Eames was not one to dwell on the past and on death. She knew that she had to let him go…but it was hard. She kept remembering all the candid moments they had.

"Morning Bobby, what're you reading? One of those academic books for smarty pants that you love so much?"

"No, TV Guide."

"TV Guide? When do you have time to watch TV?"

"I really don't…I like reading the reviews and other articles."

"Okay, anything good according to the resident critics?"

"Um…well, I'm reading a review of this cop show. It's pretty good…but they say it lacks, and that the format is all wrong, not as good as the original."

"What format and it's a franchise? Since when do cop shows spring franchises?"

"Um…the format is quite interesting. They tell you already who committed the crime before the opening titles. And it's a pretty big franchise."

"That's weird. Why would you watch the rest of the show if you already know who did it?"

"It's the why that's so interesting. And the acting is very convincing."

"Oh okay…who's in it?"

"Vincent D'Onofrio and Kathryn Erbe are two detectives."

"Who?"

"I'm not sure…but they are quite talented. Kathryn Erbe is cute."

"Cute than me?"

"No one has more poise and is more beautiful than you, Eames."

"Thanks Bobby, you know how to make a girl feel special."

Then Bobby gave one of his small smiles that you miss if you don't look quickly enough. Eames then knew that he meant every word when he said she was beautiful.

Eames shook her head. She really needed to stop those miscellaneous trips down memory lane. She picked up Goren's journal and began to read the next entry.

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Chapter 2, Part 2: "I feel you"

They gave me a life that's not so easy to live.

Entry # 2

I guess I wasn't expecting this. Fate has dealt me a difficult hand…a very hard life to live, sometimes. I always wonder why. I'm thinking that my parents had something to do with it.

And they sent me on my way.

I'm the product of an aggressive wife beater/ lady's man and a paranoid schizophrenic. They are the main reason for why I am this way. I blame them…my father mostly. I don't blame my mother that much. She couldn't help it and what the hell could she do? My father was an asshole. He beat the crap out of us…my mother was just afraid. Though, most of the time, my father wasn't even there. He left us…I guess that fucked me up.

I've left my love and forgot my dreams.

I never had an actual love of my life and I guess I almost forgot how to (before I met Eames, that is). Before my worlds had cracked at the seams, I used to be a very well grounded and ambitious young man. I had hopes and dreams. After all these years, I kind of forgot them.

And lost them all along the way.

Now, because of how my life has turned out, I had to forget all of that…It's too late to get them all back.

Those little things you say.

Eames…back on the subject of my love (which I recently found again). She is the most beautiful woman. She is petite, blond, bright-eyed, intelligent, courageous, and funny.

Her sense of humor amazes the hell out of me. She comes up with one liners that make me laugh. I don't know how she does it. She always comes up with them at the right time. You can always love a person who tries to lighten up even the direst situations.

When words mean so much.

She can talk her way out of anything and everything. Her unique charm and wit…it takes my breath away.

You never back down.

When she's stuck on something (especially when she's pissed)…it's not a good idea to approach her the wrong way. Also, never stand in her way and tell her she can't co something. She's little but she packs quite a punch. She's very good…at playing bad cop. Her intimidating stare scares me sometimes…

When they all shy away.

People usually tend to keep their distance from us when we're deep in our work. I guess their intimidated my our (the Goren and Eames) dynamic. I wonder why…

You always listen to me.

Eames seems to be the only one who listens to me when everyone else stays away. She actually cares about my opinions and thoughts on things.

What do I get to get me through this sleepless night's?

Entry # 3

Damn…another sleepless night full of tossing and turning over and over. There're many nightmarish figures in my head prepared to torment me if I ever get to sleep tonight. I know I need to sleep…but what can help? I'm not going to take sleep medication…

What do I have to hold when no one's there to hold me tight?

This is not working…I wish I had someone to hold me and tell me everything's going to be all right. I need someone to be the glue that keeps me together.

And what do I see the only thing that gets me through this?

I wish Eames could be that person. She would stop all these things from tormenting me ever again.

That's what I feel and I feel you.

I'm guessing that it all sounds crazy that I think Eames can solve all my problems once I tell her everything… but I don't know. She seems like the one…the one I'm made for. I can't help it. Eames…she my love…

END OF CHAPTER 2

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What'd you think? Was is good or did it just suck? Please review to tell me what you think. The reviews really do help become a better writer. Thanks!

Coming soon: "Here without you" (With revised lyrics to go with the story)