Playground school bell rings again

Rain clouds come to play again

Has no one told you she's not breathing?

Hello I'm your mind giving you

Someone to talk to

Hello?

If I smile and don't believe

Soon I know I'll wake from this dream

Don't try to fix me – I'm not broken

Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide

Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping

Hello, I'm still here

All that's left of yesterday…

All that's left…

All she could think was how nice it was to lie in limbo, blood still warm on her skin, to not have to think – not have to feel. Tears leaked out through eyes that refused to open. She wouldn't open them. The temptation of never having to wake and face reality again was too great. A feeling of ecstasy filled her as she thought of never having to face anyone again. Never having to put on a face. Never facing that insuppressible feeling that she was different – that she didn't belong there, anywhere.

But when I had you my life took a dip…She was a burden to her mother, a burden to everyone. Conceived by an accident. She wasn't wanted here. No one needed her…it would be better if she just left them. I want you to understand, Hermione, that your father has cared for you ever since you were born…Maybe someone wanted her? Maybe there was a slim chance that she was wanted by someone? Your father has cared for you ever since you were born…Cared for her? Cared for her so much that he almost killed her on several occasions?

Why was her life like this? Why couldn't she have a normal life, without Hogwarts, without all that had happened over the past six years? Why couldn't she just rewind, and start again? She would agree with her mother this time; agree not to go to Hogwarts, agree to stay in the small town where she lived and never have anything to do with wizards or witches. She would never find out about Remus, she would never have to be beaten, never experience the stinging pain of a foot in the chest – never know what a broken rib felt like…

"Hermione…Hermione…Oh Hermione, I'm so sorry…" Her mother's voice calling to her, so close she was practically whispering in her ear. Hermione couldn't stop another flood of tears finding their way down her cheeks, but she didn't care anymore. Her mother was still alive, and she was next to her. Hermione's eyes snapped open, and she turned towards the voice that was calling her. And got the shock of her life.

Her mother was indeed lying next to her, but she was barely alive. Her chest was rising and falling irregularly – she was having trouble breathing. Her face was soaked in sweat, plastering her hair to her face, and sliding down her neck in drops. She was trembling.

"Hermione, Hermione…" Her mother struggled to talk. "I'm so sorry…I couldn't stop him Hermione, I couldn't. He said something…Crucio! That was it…" Hermione reached out a hand and clasped her mother's. It was immediately encased in a vice like grip. "You were always a quiet baby, Hermione."

"No one ever answered to my screams." Hermione's voice was strangely calm. Anger pulsed through her blood. She knew without asking who had put the cruciatus curse on her mother. Slytherin. But her mother kept talking.

"You kept falling into things…tables, chairs…"

"His fist." She didn't even ask where he was. She didn't care if he was alive or dead.

"You never told me anything…"

"He said he'd get me if I did." If you ever tell Jill about anything, anything that happened today, you'll regret it. I'll get you, Hermione, I will. What's a man if he can't order around his females? She flinched at the memory, and had to close her eyes to block it out. When she opened them, the woman lying next to her was dead.

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

*

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it.

This chapter took me three days peeps. Oh, and guess what. The other day I chipped a piece of my ankle joint – the left one. I phoned Abu up to tell her…only to find she's gone and done the same thing with her right leg!