Disclaimer: You know, if I actually owned Zelda, I would probably be a happy and fufilled person, instead of a bored and slightly deranged one who writes odd bits of fanfiction. Amaranth is mine, however much she may deny it. My various friends that pop up throughout the story own themselves and cannot be controlled. Trust me, I know.

Note: As I cannot write in any proper form, the astrixes (**) designate actions. For example, *becomes bored* would indicate that I really am getting tired of this and will stop soon. But not too soon. I have never written in this form before, so cut me a break, ok? Oh, and if you object to slash (same sex relationships), LEAVE NOW. You have been warned..which reminds me, in my world, Sheik is a guy. If you want to argue that, you know where to find me ...

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Amaranth: Greetings Earthlings! With my Magikal Author Powers, I have transported myself to Clock Town to do a little man-stalking. *Gives an evil grin* Let's see who's out today.. *Quickly scans area, only spies ugly worker-type guys* Hmmmmm..we may have to find a new hunting ground..to the Laundry Pool! *Skips merrily up the stairs*

Sheik: *Sits beside pool while staring at his reflection and strumming his harp-thingy* Damn I'm sexy!

Amaranth: *Spies Sheik* Damn he's sexy! *Smiles saucily and saunters over to sexy boy* Excuse me, are you busy?

Sheik: *Eyes Amaranth up and down, grinning* Not anymore..

Amaranth: Good. *Plops herself down into Sheik's lap* Because I don't plan on going anywhere for awhile. *Wraps her arms around his neck and grins at Sheik who grins back*

Sheik: *Puts arms around Amaranth's waist* Do you like the harp?

Amaranth: *Stares dreamily into huge blue eyes* Mmm-hmm...

Sheik: *Grins* Good, 'cause I've got a bigger instrument you'll like even better.

Amaranth: Horrible pick-up line, but OK.

*Major make-out session follows*

Link: *Strides purposefully towards the Laundry Pool place* Anyone seen a mask around here?

*Sheik looks up, sees HoT (Hero of Time) Link, dumps Amaranth on the ground and slinks forward*

Link: *Looks Sheik up and down* Damn you're sexy!

Sheik: Shut up and kiss me lover.

*Even more intense make-out session follows*

*Amaranth stands up, brushes the dust off her skirts, puts her hands on her hips and glares at the men, now feverishly making out against the wall*

Amaranth: Yes, well, that's very nice, BUT WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!?!??

*Kafei comes skipping over the bridge and points to HoT and Sexy*

Kafei: Do that with me!

Amaranth: Why you disgusting perverted little ten-year old!

Kafei: *Scowls* I'm not ten, I'm a man! I was just shrunk by that skull kid!!

Amaranth: Yeah, uh-huh, sure kid. *Looks around for available males (AKA, not Link or Sheik)*

*Kafei, giggling dementedly, pinches Amaranth's ass*

Amaranth: What the hell was that?!? *Turns and smacks Kafei who falls into the pool*

Kafei: I'm telling my fiancee on you!

*Frog jumps on his head and he sinks to the bottom*

Amaranth: *Still isn't paying attention* Mm-hmm.yeah..uh-huh.

*HoT Boy and Sexy are starting to get noisy*

Amaranth: You guys are no fun.for me anyway. So long! *Saunters away*

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How was that? There's more if you want it, but only if I get some reviews, and soon...