A/N: Wow, it was only four days since I posted the last chapter! This is a bit quicker than I usually work but, I was bored, so here is the fifth chapter. Noone seemed to be able to tell me the full name of Peeves. Anigurl88, Yes it is Peeves the Poltergeist and yes he was once Human. Only three reviews needed to get this story to 30! Please Review! By the way, did you know that the word POSH used in this chapter actually means Port Out Starboard Home. So called because wealthy people would sit on the side of the boat facing the sun. The port side going out and the starboard side going home. Now you know. You didn't care anyway but now you know.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot. I thought that we would have worked that out by now.
Chapter Five- Peeves
For once he didn't laugh. I felt like laughing but I had to appear to be cool. Imagine that, a piece of material trying to be cool. Sounds stupid doesn't it. He looked really funny there. E hung above Hufflepuff table looking as white as a ghost. I make the worst jokes sometimes, that's what happens when noone takes the time to listen to them.
"Peeves." Barked out the headmaster. Back in those days there wasn't a deputy anything so he had to do it himself. He wasn't too bad as a headmaster but he did tend to get annoyed around the sorting.
A small boy with a posh look placed upon his face approached me. He sat down on the stool and put me on his head in a manner that seemed to suggest that he was more important than me. He was a thinking boy! There were many of them, well, there were many boys that were able to think. I was a thinking hat, one of a kind but I was apparently worse than this gentlemenly-breed-high-class-know-nothing-looks-stupid-Hogwarts-attending-posh-looking-wimp-probably-idiot of an idiot. As you could probably tell, I didn't like him. He would get nowhere in life by being conventional and boring. I decided to change his outlook on life.
Would you mind hurrying it up a bit.
Move it, I'm bored.
I am afraid that I have no idea what at all you are talking about.
What you saying. Back off!
Back off off what?
Oi! I'm stayin'.
Where are you staying, I am positive that I do not understand you one small bit.
Where's you're hole? What you sayin' to me?
Are you aware that you make no sense?
You know, you talk idiots.
What do I talk. Look, please just sort me.
I what! See here, sort me before I bash you in!
GRYFFINDOR!
I had done it. I had ruined the kids life in the 'posh' circle. Once he asked what I had said then he was definatly going under with the youth culture. Saying the equivalent of his words in a less-than-posh talk to him people would think that I had been speaking a totally different language to him.
After I told of his sorting Peeves zoomed out of the great hall. None of the students would have known of his posh old background and I suppose that it embarrassed him. Serves him right.
"Who shall I do next then? Most of you don't have to worry, you had sortings too boring to be told. Ahha, I know one that wasn't too boring but was just too pathetic...Neville Longbottom." I said.
A/N: Well, the next one is Neville. If I spelt it wrong please tell me. Shame. I like Neville as a character but it was just too good an opportunity to pass up. Please Review!