Author's note: Sorry it took so long but work gets overwhelming when the school year stars and I live on a state of perpetual exhaustion. Things have calmed down a bit so I will be posting more often. This fic is going to be getting a lot darker before it ends. We are going to be seeing a sadistic Buffy that will match Angelus' own cruel streak. If this is not your thing you may want to stop reading now. Otherwise stay tuned and please keep reviewing.

Chapter 15

Xander suppressed a yawn as he pulled into his assigned parking spot. It had been a very weird, painful day.

The pain came from having to break Buffy's heart. His brave and loyal friend did not deserve such a callous betrayal. And he hated the fact that he had been the one to reveal the vampire's deceit.

The weirdness was owed to the fact that recapture orders for subject 17 were not forthcoming. This was very odd considering than less than a year ago he had been the institution's most wanted.

He wished he knew what exactly was going on in the Initiative.

Xander locked his car and headed towards his apartment building. As he went he massaged the back of his neck with his right hand. He always carried stress in this area and needed Anya's magical hands to make the ache recede. Hopefully she would have some time to do so before she went to work in a couple of hours.

He entered the building and took the elevator to the third floor. Usually he would take the stairs but he was just too tired at the moment. All he wanted was to cuddle next to his fiancee and sleep away his worries. He got to his floor and let himself in to his quiet apartment. Breathing a sigh of relief he dropped his keys, ID and wallet in the little box in the side table and went into his room shedding his garments as he went. When he got to the master bedroom he was glad to see that Anya was still in bed. Once or twice she had left for work before he got home in order to get ready for a sale. But today she was buried underneath the heavy jacquard comforter. Only a lock of soft blond hair was visible.

Xander smiled and after removing his remaining clothing climbed into bed. Anya stirred and snuggled closer to him. She was warm and smelled sweet. He inhaled her familiar scent. Anya was just what he needed after a hard day's night.

He was just about to fall asleep when he heard a barely audible question.

Are you okay?

He sighed "I did what I had to do"

"But something is wrong"

"Beyond wrong. It is cruel and I hate myself for having done it"

Xander had her full attention now. She turned on the small lamp on her night table.

"Tell me"

And he did from Buffy's risky gambit to save Spike's life to his betrayal. He did not skim over his own involvement in both instances. Anya listened to him enraptured. She knew he was keeping something from her but this was too much. A Slayer in love with a vampire? Something she'd never seen in a millennium.

"And how did she take it?"

"She was shocked. I left her at home and offered to call Willow but she refused"

"Maybe she'll prefer a vengeance demon instead of a witch" she volunteered.

"Huh?"
"Well. Wouldn't you?"

"I get what you are saying Ahn but Buffy is not like that. She would never stoop…"

"If you finish that sentence you are sleeping on the terrace for the rest of your life" Anya warned.

"Ah. Right. Its just that Buff is not like that, she would never call on a vengeance demon no matter how much that bastard deserved it"

"Maybe you're right. And just maybe she wants to do it herself"

"I don't think so" he said with conviction.

"You'll be surprised what betrayal can do to a person. Remember 'hell has no fury'"

"Not for her"

"I hope you're right"

***

She finally left her bed sometime after noon. Her first stop was the shower in which she tried to wash away the signs of her own weakness. Her folly.

The pain had been so bad that she'd used another being to quench it however momentarily. And to make things worse that other being was one of her closest friends and she made him into an object, a distraction. She couldn't stoop any lower.

She left the shower and walked backed wrapped in her fluffy white towel. Still, she felt dirty but had a deep suspicion that the warm water could never really wash the stain of guilt away.

Oh God Angel.

Buffy sat on her unmade bed and contemplated the wrongness of what she had done. She knew without a doubt that the souled vampire harbored a deep feeling for her. Feelings that were bordering on love if not already there. And what had she done? She took advantage of his vulnerability and tried to forget Spike's betrayal with Angel's body and soul.

She was a horrible person.

What was worse was that her rage had not been abated. She still wanted to destroy Spike for what he had done to her. Hurting him through Angel was not enough. Buffy wanted to go for the jugular.

Time would eventually give her the opportunity.

***

"So tell me mate. Just how did you pull it of"

"Pull what of?" Angelus asked innocently.

"The soul-losing. What finally set it off?"

Angel smiled maliciously. "It seems that the curse had a unimaginable loophole and I hit upon it in the most delightful way"

Spike rolled his eyes. No one could be more vague than the Great Poof.

"Just spill it"

"It was a clause. Since the curse was supposed to ensure my unending misery it would be negated once I experienced true happiness"
"What did you do, order the happy meal?" The blonde vampire asked with a smirk.

"No. Things were a little more interesting than that. All it took was the Slayer touch"

Buffy. "What did you do to her?" Spike roared as he grabbed his grandsire by the throat. The older vampire grabbed Spike's wrist and managed to release his hold. The two vampires glared at each other until realization washed over Angel. His smile became more pronounced as he went for the jugular.

"Why, Spike I didn't know you cared. As for your lady-love I fear that she may not be as lily-white as you thought?"

"What do you mean?" there was a dangerous tone to his voice.

"It just that if I had known how easily she would give it up, I wouldn't even have bothered"

And it all came crashing down.

TBC.

Author's note: Even if I do not write NC17 fics the decision made by fanfiction.net is a troubling one. If you feel the same way make sure to sign the online petition at: www.PetitionOnline.com/KeepNC17