Disclaimer: As well as the usual disclaimer, I must note that the form of the poem is modeled on the Beatles' "Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)."

"Longbottom Leaf (I Chose Bilbo)" – sung by Gandalf


I once had a pipe, or should I say, it once had me
It fit in my pack, isn't it sweet, Longbottom Leaf?

I picked up the pipe in the Shire one day all unaware
Of how it would damage my lungs and leave smells in my hair

I sat in an inn, watching them all, smoking a bowl
They discussed their quest, worried but keen, who'd make fourteen?

They asked if I knew of a burglar to help them – he'd have to be daft
I told them I did if a Hobbit would be good enough

And so they agreed, and as you know, I chose Bilbo
He also smokes weed, isn't it sweet, Longbottom Leaf.