Summary: Rory Gilmore's life was never been complicated. At least not until Toby Levy walked into her life. Charismatic and startlingly compelling, he and his ideals would change her life forever.
Rating: PG-13 for language and sexual innuendo. Nothing graphic.
Feedback: Greatly appreciated. I won't withhold writing for feedback, but it certainly makes it feel more worthwhile. I'd love to hear anything, a sentence you liked, a piece of the story, your general thoughts. Anything.
Author's Notes: The titles are all from e.e. cummings' poems. This takes place two years in the future, Rory's second year at Yale, and was written given my current frustration with Rory's love life on the show. I wanted to find her a new guy, one that wasn't like any of the others we've seen. Visualize Toby as looking like Adrien Brody. :) Everything from Yale is used fictionally, and may not always being completely accurate.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the other creators of the Gilmore Girls universe. Except for Toby. He's mine.
sweet small clumsy feet of April came into the ragged meadow of my soul
*
It was later than she'd thought.
Rory Gilmore squinted a second time at her watch as she made her way down the steps of the Sterling Memorial Library. Daylight savings time was throwing her off. She could have sworn it was only six or so, given how light the sky was. Instead it was already a quarter past seven. Sighing, she shifted her pile of books from one arm to the other. The evening had escaped her once again.
The night was warm, half lit in the twilight of early spring. In the distance a lawn mower buzzed; newly shorn clumps of grass lay along the edges of the path. A few small groups of students were making their way cross-campus from the dining hall, but it was deserted enough that she was able to walk alone with her thoughts.
Glancing enviously at a group of underclassmen playing frisbee on the lawn, Rory wished once again that she didn't have a ton of reading for her Human Societies class the next morning. It was her own fault for taking a class that met early Friday morning, but she often wished she could relax on Thursday evenings like most of her friends.
She lifted her face to the damp air and breathed in deeply. Spring was nice. She wondered what flowers Babette had decided to plant this year, and made a mental note to ask her mom the next time they spoke. Every year Babette picked one type of flower and planted it everywhere, paying no attention to aesthetic landscaping. Rory smiled absently, remembering the year Babette had decided on sunflowers: they had grown so tall she'd gotten lost whenever she had gone out to water the garden.
Hey, Rory, wait up! The friendly voice startled her from her reverie. She turned and squinted into the setting sun. The setting sun was at the girl's back, throwing her into silhouette, but given the cloud of curly hair Rory knew it had to be Judith Quinn, her roommate from freshman year. They were still friends, though they saw one another rarely now. Most of Judith's classes were in the math department.
Hey, how are you? Rory shifted her books to one side as Judith fell into step beside her.
I'm great! Judith skipped as she said the word. She'd always been relatively hyperactive. What are you up to?
Research for my sociology class. Rory held up one of the books she was carrying.
Judith grabbed the book from her and pretended to almost drop it because of the weight. God, how heavy is this?
It's less then five hundred pages, Rory protested.
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the Fates of Human Societies, Judith read aloud, then added dryly. Sounds fun.
Rory took the book back. It is. At Judith's doubtful look, she assured her,
Maybe for you. You like reading crazy novels and stuff. If I had to read that, I'd die. Since day one Judith had never been able to stomach reading something more than a trig textbook. Rory still wasn't sure how she'd made it through her English requirements.
She decided to change the subject from her appetite for books, a topic which always made her self-conscious. Where are you going right now?
Voice of Liberty meeting. Judith caught Rory's arm suddenly. Hey, you should come with me!
Rory was embarrassed to admit that she'd never heard of the organization but tried to cover. Yeah, I've always wondered: what do you guys do?
Um...we work on political causes, local and national. And we train people to be activists. It's awesome! Judith turned around and started walking backwards, facing Rory. Tell me if I'm going to walk into something, okay? She checked over her shoulder, then turned back. So...how about it? Wanna come?
I don't know, Rory stalled. I'm not really that political.
Everyone's political, Judith insisted.
My mom and I weren't really into that, Rory admitted sheepishly. We never talked about politics that much.
Judith stopped walking abruptly. Okay, no offense, Rory, cause I love you and I love your mom, but there are real issues out there! She flung out her arm dramatically as she said it, and the frisbee guys stopped playing to stare. Issues more real than where to find a good cup of coffee! Rory glanced away, embarrassed and a little stung. She could always count on Judith to tell her the truth, even if it hurt.
Judith's face softened. I'm sorry. She touched Rory's arm and they started walking again. I always do that. I didn't mean to imply that you never think about anything important, but it's never too late to start taking in interest in something beyond your daily life. She smiled. Come on, come to this meeting with me? Just for a little while?
Rory sighed. As Judith grabbed her arm and started hurrying her towards a nearby building she tried to amend her concession, I can't stay that long, though. I've got so much reading to do.
Sure, whatever you want. Judith waved her off, leading her down a flight of stairs into a basement lounge that was crowded with people. Rory was relieved to see that everyone was still milling about, chatting; she would've hated to enter with the meeting already in session. Someone stuffed a flier into her hand, but before she had a chance to thank the person Judith had pulled her towards an empty spot on a worn blue sofa. They squeezed into a space between a girl Rory recognized from her Ethics class the previous semester and a guy with blond dreadlocks.
Judith immediately started chatting with the girl, they were obviously friends, and Rory took the time to let her gaze sweep the room. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but this wasn't it. With the exception of the dreadlocks guy and one woman with blue hair, everyone was pretty average looking. It looked like a group of young adults she might find in any one of her classes. She looked down at the flier in her hand. It contained information about the annual Tolerance Parade that was that weekend. She folded it in half and slipped it between the pages of one of her books.
At the front of the room a young man straightened from a slouch against the wall, his face expectant as he stood at the front of the room. Rory sat up, sure that the meeting was starting. Yet no one aside from her was paying attention, conversations continued undeterred. The man saw Rory watching him and shot her a lopsided grin, shrugging as if to say Oh well. What can you do?
Rory looked away, embarrassed, only to find her attention drawn back to him a moment later. He was tall and gangly, with angular features and a large nose that was strangely attractive despite itself. Worried that he would notice her staring again, she dropped her gaze to his t-shirt, sage green with the statement: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed individuals can change the world, indeed it's the only thing that ever has. She liked the statement, and liked him by extension.
He was trying to get the group's attention. A little louder. His voice was light and gentle, tinged with mild humor. Rory sensed none of the impatience she had thought he must be feeling. Maybe he was used to this.
The room quieted slowly, conversations reluctantly dying out. He watched with a small smile until he had everyone's attention. Okay, I think we're all here, so let's get started. He settled comfortably onto the arm of the couch behind him, bracing himself with his long legs on either side. Rory noticed that his beat-up converse sneakers looked as though he'd walked cross-country in them.
He cleared his throat. I called this meeting because I've gotten word from a friend of mine that the health centers on campus are planning to stop prescribing the morning after pill. Completely. The administration claims... He raised his voice slightly over the murmur that swept through the room. ...they claim that they feel, given the supposed controversy of the pill, that they would rather avoid dealing with it completely.
But it's not even an abortion tactic! the girl beside Judith protested. It's a high dose of hormones that suppress ovulation—just like birth control pills!
She's right, someone else added. Rory couldn't see who was speaking. It's hypocritical to take away much needed health care just because they're afraid of bad publicity.
A guy sitting cross-legged on the floor spoke up. Okay, I'm not pointing fingers, but some people do use the morning after pill as a form of irresponsible birth control. And that sucks.
The man at the front leaned back, scratching his eyebrow. I agree, Matt. Totally good point. But my source says that's not the reason. Apparently some of the major benefactors for the college are big believers in the abstinence movement. They've threatened to pull funding if the college continues to dispense the morning after pill. They probably wanted to get rid of all birth control, but compromised. He allowed for a moment of silence before asking the question, My question is: what do we want to do about it?
The answers ranged from doing nothing to burning down the health centers. Rory sincerely hoped the person who had suggested that had been kidding, but given the fierce energy in the room she wasn't quite sure. As the debate raged she found herself rooted in place despite her best intentions of leaving. She'd never been faced with such an abundance of strong political opinions before, especially not from kids her own age. At some times throughout the course of the evening she was worried that a fight would break out, the discussion was so heated, but the man in charge always managed to say something diplomatic to calm everyone down. In fact, the more Rory watched him, the more impressed she was with his leadership skills. He had a quiet intensity to him, a disheveled charisma that she found fascinating.
In the end, a tentative decision was reached to start a campus-wide petition and send representatives to meet with the administration. If that didn't work there'd be another meeting, but general consensus was that an organized protest was the next option. The room slowly began to empty out as people stretched stiff legs and chatted in smaller groups. Rory checked her watch and was shocked to realize that it was approaching midnight.
You ready? Judith stood at her shoulder, grinning.
Yeah, let's go. As they headed for the stairs Rory cast one look over her shoulder, searching for the man among the crowd. He was deep in conversation with a group of people who all seemed to be talking to him at once. He didn't look up and Rory turned away.
Outside, it was raining lightly, the air more misty than truly wet. It was still warm enough to be comfortable. Rory and Judith walked in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the calm that was a fresh breath of air after the meeting.
Judith asked abruptly. When Rory didn't answer right away she gave her an affectionate push. What'd you think?
It...wasn't what I expected, Rory admitted.
Oh yeah? Judith hopped up on a low stone wall that ran beside the sidewalk. She was still shorter than Rory. What were you expecting? Girls with no bras and guys with long hair? Birkenstocks for all?
Rory said quickly. Judith snorted and she admitted sheepishly, Well, maybe a little.
Oh, Rory, Judith wrapped a playful arm around her neck. We have so much to teach you.
Rory was trying to study, and it wasn't working very well. The book, as she'd told Judith, was really interesting, but far too dense for this time of night. She closed it with a sigh, tossed it off the bed, then sent her millionth silent apology to whoever was living below her when it hit the floor loudly. As she reached over to turn out the light she was suddenly overwhelmed with a wave of homesickness, a desperation to hear her mother's voice. She wondered if it was too late to call, decided she didn't care.
Dialing hastily, she yawned, conscious of the overflow of things she wanted to say. There was the sound of the phone being dropped, a groan, and a muffled voice Rory recognized as her mother.
What was that?
I dropped the phone. A scraping sound, a quiet curse, then,
Hey, it's Rory. Rory reached over and searched for a pair of socks in her drawer. It was cold in her room. Can I talk to Mom for a second?
Uh, yeah, hold on.
Rory always felt a little embarrassed when Luke answered the phone, like she was intruding on her mom's private life or something. It was common knowledge that they were living together, but it was still weird to reach them in bed. At least this time they'd clearly been asleep.
her mother's voice was sharp with concern.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, I just...really wanted to talk to you right now. I'm sorry, is it too late?
Oh, babe, of course not. Hold on, let me just leave the room so he doesn't start complaining... Rory could hear her mother trip over something, then shut the door. Okay, what's up?
Nothing, really. I just wanted to talk.
There was a moment of silence, each waiting for the other to speak first. Finallay her mom broke the ice. Okay, how's school?
Pretty good.
What book are you reading right now?
For school or for fun?
Um...for school.
Guns, Germs, and Steel, for my sociology class. You wouldn't like it.
Hey, now, that's not fair! I might like it! What's it about?
The course of human history from a scientific point of view considering geographic and ecological patterns, as well as—
Okay, okay, you're right! her mom sighed. You are way too smart for me, kiddo.
No, I'm not. Rory said quietly. She had begun to tire of of the familiar refrain of Look how smart Rory is! It made her feel isolated. It was true that her mother didn't like the same books and hadn't gone to college, but she was brilliant in her own way. People always pointing out Rory's scholarly aptitude made her feel embarrassed instead of proud. Sometimes it was enough to make her wish that Jess was still around; he'd always matched her in intellectual curiosity if not in ambition.
she tried to change topics, I realized this evening that I forgot to ask you what flowers Babette planted this year.
Oh, I didn't tell you?!
No, what?! Rory settled a pillow behind her back, excited to be listening to a story from home. Sometimes that worried her, the fact that after two years Stars Hollow was still more home than Yale. She was happy at Yale, but she couldn't wait for each visit to her house, her town, each story of the wacky residents she'd known since toddlerhood. It made her wonder why she'd been unable to sever that tie and move on to a new phase of her life.
She planted cosmos this year, but it turns out Morey is ridiculously allergic.
Oh, boy. Rory smiled, recalling that Morey had one of the loudest sneezes she'd ever heard. What happened?
Well, they're living in Luke's apartment for the time being, and Apricot's living with us. Her mother dropped her voice. And he'd kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but that cat has found a soul mate in Luke!
You're kidding. Really? Rory was tempted to giggle at the idea of rough, gruff Luke cuddling with the tiny ball of orange fur that was Babette's cat.
I kid you not. He kept muttering things about killing it, until one time I found him watching TV with her curled up in his lap.
That little hussy!
I know. Trying to steal my man. I should be wildly jealous.
Rory felt a pang hearing about this family that existed without her. Occasionally it felt like her mother had replaced her with Luke in her absence. Her mom still seemed to care about her, but she didn't seem to need Rory the same way Rory needed her. Rory knew she was letting an unrelated situation play into her insecurities, but it still hurt sometimes.
Her mom yawned. I hate to do this to you, but is there any chance we could pick this up tomorrow? I'm really exhausted.
Of course. She paused, then asked the question before thinking it through. Hey, Mom? Do you think that colleges should be able to dispense the morning after pill?
Her mom's tone was suspicious. Did something happen?
No, not for me. Rory felt silly for having asked. I meant more in the general sense.
Not specific to you?
I don't know. She sighed again. I've really never thought about before.
So think about it. Is it too controversial or is it the students' right to have access?
I...don't know. Her mom sounded confused. Why are you so anxious to find out what I think? Is it for a class or something?
No, it's just— Rory stopped, realizing that she was about to say that she wanted to know what her opinion should be. The idea of it horrified her. She was twenty years old, and she was still waiting for her mother's opinion before forming her own. Never mind. Forget I asked.
She ended the conversation in a hurry and turned off the light, but remained sitting up in bed, trapped in thought. She wondered why she'd asked her mother that question, and why she was annoyed when her mother hadn't had an answer for her. If she no longer needed her mom, why did she care so much what she thought? And if she still needed her, how come that whole conversation had left her surprisingly empty?
Yeah, could I get, uh, a cup of coffee please? Yeah, no, just black's fine. Thanks.
The voice sounded familiar; Rory looked up from her notebook. She was sitting at a small table by herself at Durfee's, notes spread all around her as she attempted to start her sociology paper. Standing by the counter was the young man who had led the Voice of Liberty meeting the week before. He accepted his coffee with a nod, turned, saw her, and ambled over to her table, smiling in a way that made her think he remembered her.
So...is anyone sitting here? He indicated the empty seat. Rory shook her head mutely, wishing she could force herself to smile. He put down his coffee then pulled out the chair in a way that rattled the table and sent the cup flying, coffee spreading across her papers like cancer. She half started from her chair. He swore and immediately tried to stop the flow of coffee with his hands. Aw, jesus, I'm so sorry! Here, let me—
She grabbed a stack of napkins from the counter near her table. Don't worry about it! These stupid tables move so easily!
God, I'm such a klutz! he muttered, mopping at the coffee. Did I ruin anything?
She inspected the messy pile of papers, peeling apart two pages. No real damage done, she assured him. Not the first time I've spilled a drink on my work.
He tossed a few wet napkins into the trash and held up a hand as if baffled by himself. I'm an idiot. Listen, I'm just going to take my mostly empty cup and get out of your way, okay? I'm sorry I bothered you.
Rory had to laugh, feeling a little more at ease. No, go ahead and sit down. Really.
You sure? I might spill again.
I'll move my papers. She piled up her book and notes and put them on the floor next to her bag. He still stood there, hesitating. Come on, sit down.
He settled ungracefully into the chair across from her, long legs sprawled sideways, his arm hooked over the back of the chair. Today his grey t-shirt read Blessed are the Peacemakers. He extended a hand across the table that was proportional to his ridiculous height. Tobias Levy. I only answer to Toby.
Rory Gilmore.
He tasted the name and took a thoughtful sip of coffee.
It's short for Lorelai.
He thought for another minute, running a finger down the side of his goatee. German mermaid, he said finally, pointing at Rory. Right? She led guys to their deaths on the Rhine. A pause, then he asked, Do you live up to the name?
Rory was embarrassed. No. Not at all. I think my mom does, though. Or used to. Her name's Lorelai also. Although we spell it with an a' instead of an She blushed. I never talk this much.
I'm sure. He changed topics abruptly. So am I right in remembering that you came to the meeting the other night? Was that you?
Yeah, that was me. Judith forced me to come.
Forced you? His eyebrows, long and oddly elegant, lifted in surprise.
Well, not forced forced, more like pressured. No, not pressured, convinced. She convinced me to come. She rubbed the side of her head, laughed nervously. I sound like a complete idiot.
Hey, who's the fool who spilled coffee all over your work? He leaned back, arms locked behind his head. She avoided his eyes and turned her attention to tearing her napkin into small pieces. He changed the subject again. So, Rory, what year are you?
I'm a sophomore.
Huh. What's your major?
English. I want to be a journalist. She took a sip of her coffee, reminded herself to be friendlier. What about you?
First year of graduate school. I want to get my PH.D. in Political Science.
She nodded and studied him from beneath her lashes. Do you want to go into politics?
Yes, but not in the way you mean. He sat back, making a steeple of his index fingers and placing them beneath his chin. Listen, Rory, I'm actually pretty glad I ran into you. This Friday we're having another Voice of Liberty meeting.
The petition didn't work? she guessed.
He smiled slightly, ironically. We never really thought it would.
She thought for a moment. Do you want me to spread the word about the protest?
Eventually, but right now we're just trying to get a team together to plan the thing. He cleared his throat and leaned forward, his eyes intense, excited. The thing is, if we're actually going to do this, we have to get started right away. He shrugged apologetically. The two girls who organized all our protests last year graduated, so I'm sort of making this up as I go.
She reached for her day planner. When's the meeting?
It's at six, on Friday, but don't do this just because you feel obligated. He reached across the table and pulled the pen from her fingers, put the cap on and handed it back to her. Organizing a protest, a really good protest, is a lot of work. Think about this first, okay?
She nodded obediently.
He checked his watch and sat up abruptly. Shit, I was supposed to call someone half an hour ago! I hate to run out on you—
No, go ahead. She started to put her papers in her bag. I should probably head back to the dorm anyway. It was great meeting you, Toby.
He started to leave, then turned around at the door. I'm really sorry about the coffee.
Already forgotten.
Rory watched the narrow outline of his back fade into the night as he strode away, strands of his unruly dark hair clear against the deep blue sky. She had to admit to herself that she'd liked him just as much in person as she had while watching him at the meeting. He was warm and funny, of course, but it was the razor-sharp intelligence she sensed lurking beneath the surface that fascinated her. An idea crept into her head and took up residence before she noticed it. Once she did she was embarassed and tried to dismiss it as foolish and illogical, but the thought persisted, playing in the corners of her mind.
The thought was: by this time next year I will have kissed that man.
*