Summary: Rory Gilmore's life was never complicated. At least not until Toby Levy walked into her life. Charismatic and startlingly compelling, he and his ideals would change her life forever.
Rating: PG-13 for language and sexual innuendo. Nothing graphic.
Feedback: Greatly appreciated. I won't withhold writing for feedback, but it certainly makes it feel more worthwhile. I'd love to hear anything, a sentence you liked, a piece of the story, your general thoughts. Anything.
Author's Notes: The titles are all from e.e. cummings' poems. Thank you for those who were willing to risk reading this story and who were so patient for an update. I had a crazy spring. Everything from Yale is used fictionally, and may be inaccurate; I did my best with the research. I provided the cast list below so everyone could know what these new characters are supposed to look like.
Disclaimer: I do not own any original characters. They belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the other creators of the Gilmore Girls universe. The others are mine.
Cast List:
Adrien Brody as Toby
Keira Knightley as Margot
Iyari Limon as J.J.
Zhang Ziyi as Emma
Corey Sevier as Andy
Brittany Snow as Libby
Matt Czuchry as Diego
sonnet entitled how to run the world)
*
So then he said to me Look, last night was great, and if you want to do it again, anytime, that's fine with me. But I'm just not looking for a commitment right now.'
There's a spot. Rory indicated the open seats with her breakfast tray and picked up her pace, glancing back towards her friend Margot as she walked. So what did you say? When he said that?
Margot smiled innocently as they settled facing one another across the table. I said, Well, Matt, I have to say I'm not looking for a commitment right now either.' She paused for effect. I'm just looking for someone who's a good fuck, so you probably won't be hearing from me anytime soon.
Rory gasped, delighted and horrified. You didn't!
I did. Margot tried to keep a straight face as she spread butter on her blueberry muffin.
Rory regarded her friend with a mixture of shock and awe. Margot's frankness and ease regarding sex never ceased to catch her off guard, yet she still took a measure of vicarious delight in hearing about each escapade.
Wait, isn't he in your psychology class? Won't that be really awkward?
Margot shrugged. It's a large class. I'll avoid him.
Rory took a sip of her coffee and shuddered; she missed Luke's. You make it sound like it's not a big deal.
It's not a big deal.
For you, maybe.
Margot rolled her eyes. It's not a big deal for anyone who isn't afraid of sex.
I'm not afraid of sex, Rory said. I'm just waiting for the right person.
Margot stuck out her tongue.
Rory giggled,
It was an ongoing debate between them, one they'd decided to handle lightly instead of delving into philosophical discussion every time the subject came up, which was often. No matter what arguments were used, Rory would always believe that Margot slept with too many guys and Margot would always be convinced that Rory needed to loosen up and get laid.
Two years away from home hadn't done much in the way of erasing the girl-next-door element in Rory's character. Her one drinking experience was at a dorm party, where she'd tried a sip of beer on a whim and almost spat it out in disgust. She still avoided walking past the rooms where the marijuana smoke was omnipresent, even in the middle of the day. College made it easy to be shy, to blend into the background of large lectures, to build a sweet little world for herself of schoolwork and weekends at home and hanging out with her few close friends.
In stark contrast, Margot was outgoing and popular, perfectly happy to attend frat parties on the nights she wasn't hanging out with Rory. Family connections and field hockey had gotten her into Yale; academics bored her. Tall and model-thin, with high cheekbones and a striking combination of brown eyes and blond hair, she was the kind of girl who turned heads when she walked by. After years of hanging out with slightly offbeat Lane and abrasive Paris, it caught Rory off guard to suddenly be the one. Guys always hit on Margot, jotting down her phone number on the palms of their hands, while Rory waited patiently by her shoulder.
In a lot of ways, Margot reminded Rory of her mother. Her parents, Eloise and Francis van Haas, were respected members of Hartford society and good friends with the Gilmores, which was how the two girls had been introduced. Margot was an accident, the youngest child in her family by far and indulged to the point that she tended to think the world revolved around her. She hated her parents and their world and did her best to ignore their wishes regarding just about everything. Yet despite that, she was warm and funny and fiercely loyal to her friends, perfectly happy to forgo a party if Rory needed to talk.
Margot exclaimed suddenly, setting down her orange juice. She swallowed then asked, Are you going home this weekend?
I wasn't planning to, why?
My parents are having this huge dinner party and...there's someone I really don't want to face alone.
Uh oh, Rory said knowingly. Who'd you do this time?
Margot leaned across the table conspiratorially. Okay, remember that son of my parents' friends who you met at our Christmas party this year?
The really cute one? You slept with him?!
No, his younger brother. Steven. At Rory's look she held up her hands in protest. I know, I know, it was a really stupid idea, but he was like a cute little puppy, always following me around. And I was really bored! I thought it'd be a win-win situation!
Let me guess: it wasn't? Rory drained the last of her coffee. What happened?
Margot looked down, busying herself in tidying the dishes on her tray. It was his first time, and...let's just say that the sprinklers came on during the national anthem, if you know what I mean.
It took Rory a second to unravel what she meant. Oh! You mean he—?
Yes, unfortunately. Margot stood abruptly and Rory followed, both carrying their trays. Anyway, I really, really don't want to get stuck alone with him this weekend. Please say you'll come and protect me?
Rory opened her mouth to say sure, she was happy to help, and plus she wanted to get a look at this kid Margot had deflowered, when she remembered the Voice of Liberty meeting. She really wanted to stick to what she'd told Toby and go to it. I'm really sorry, but I have this...meeting.
You're kidding! Margot wailed. What meeting?
Rory pushed some hair behind her ear, Voice of Liberty?
Margot stared at her as they walked. Isn't that that radical left-wing group?
Rory shrugged, I guess so.
Margot said shortly.
Rory asked.
Nothing, I just didn't know you were friends with people like that.
Rory suddenly felt defensive. I'm not really friends with them per se. I just said I'd come to the next meeting, and I'd feel bad if I didn't.
Oh, okay. The slight measure of relief in Margot's voice was enough to make Rory study her profile as they cut across the grass. She stayed silent for a minute, trying to figure out what about the conversation was bothering her.
If I was friends with them, she asked, that wouldn't be a problem, right?
Silly, of course not! Margot slung an arm around her shoulders. As long as you don't start running around making trouble and getting yourself arrested, I have no problem with it. She pulled away and started walking backwards away from Rory. I'm leaving right after class, so I'll see you Monday, okay?
Rory nodded, burying her hands in her pockets. Call me if little Stevie corners you, okay?
Oh, I will. Margot rolled her eyes and waved.
It wasn't until after Margot disappeared that Rory realized what had upset her about the conversation. Margot's tone had been patronizing throughout, in a way that was either new or that Rory had never noticed before. The realization made her uncomfortable, and also the tiniest bit angry.
Rory stared uncertainly at the door, shifting the weight of her bag on her shoulder. She was pretty sure she was in the right building, and the red bumper sticker taped to the door that read If You're Not Outraged, Then You're Not Paying Attention was a pretty good indicator, but she still felt strange just barging into the meeting. It had been one thing with Judith dragging her the other night; it was quite another to muster the courage to walk in on her own. What if no one wanted her there? What if Toby didn't even remember who she was?
Someone was walking towards the door, she could hear a voice growing louder, ...right back, unless they're out. The door was yanked open and Rory found herself staring at a young woman with a brightly colored bandana wrapped around her dark hair. the woman said warily. Can I help you?
Is this the Voice of Liberty meeting? Rory asked.
Sure is. The woman tapped the bumper sticker authoritatively, gave Rory a tight smile, and started up the steps. Go ahead in.
Rory gathered her confidence and pushed open the door, making her way into the room. It looked different empty, surprisingly smaller than she'd remembered. She counted five people sitting in one corner, talking; Toby had his back to her, but she recognized his slender fingers when he ran them through his hair.
A sweet-faced Asian girl was sitting in the armchair facing the door, her long legs crossed neatly over the arm. She spotted Rory and smiled. Come on in. At her words Toby craned his head around to look, caught sight of Rory and grinned, jumping to his feet.
Rory, you came! Fantastic! He turned back to the others, one hand on her elbow. Guys, this is Rory. She wants to help out.
Rory shifted nervously under the gaze of strangers. Toby's touch on her bare arm was more distracting than she would have liked to admit. Am I...late?
Hell no, he laughed. We can't start without J.J. and she went to get drinks. He pulled her towards the group. Come on, have a seat.
Rory sat awkwardly on the ground, feeling clumsy with her bag. A dark-haired man was stretched out on his back beside her, practically spread-eagled and for all appearances dead to the world. A blonde girl was seated in the second armchair, her legs draped over the shoulders the equally blonde guy sitting in front of her.
Toby slouched comfortably, moving his arm up onto the back of the couch. Here, I'll introduce you to everyone. This is Emma, he indicated the Asian girl beside him, and, across from me we have Libby and Diego. Libby gave Rory a chipper and a little wave; Diego nodded. And this slacker, Toby aimed a gentle kick at the body on the floor, this is Andy.
Andy lifted his head a fraction to glance at Rory, dropped it and raised his arm in a gruff salute.
Rory looked down at her hands, hoping they'd return to their conversation and stop watching her. Toby had wedged himself into the corner of the couch in the position that seemed to be his favorite, one arm on the back and the other on the armrest.
Andy suddenly slammed his hand down on the floor. Rory was the only one to startle. What the hell is taking J.J. so long?
Andy just pulled an all-nighter, Libby explained. He's in desperate need of caffeine.
Rory smiled. I can sympathize.
There was an awkward silence. Emma resettled a pad on her lap and started writing again. Diego tilted his head back and said something softly to Libby; she laughed and started massaging his shoulders. Andy's leg twitched. Rory hesitantly met Toby's gaze; he winked. Rory looked down and smiled to herself, feeling a little more at ease.
Sorry it took so long! J.J. burst back through the door, carrying six cans of soda. Andy, they only had decaf Pepsi so I got you a Coke instead. Hope you don't mind.
Andy groaned and fumbled blindly for the can she'd placed beside him, while J.J. flopped down beside Toby on the couch, throwing her head back against his arm in mock exhaustion. She sighed dramatically and wisps of hair flew away from her face. He smiled down at her. What'd you get for me?
Are you kidding me? J.J. sat up and leaned away from him, shielding two cans of Sprite. These are both for me. Go get your own damn drink.
Shut up, he responded affectionately, reaching out a hand and shoving her bandana down onto her forehead. She growled and dropped the sodas to fix her hair. He seized the opportunity to grab one of the cans.
J.J. pushed her bandana back into place, looking flushed. Did I miss anything while I was off playing waitress?
This is Rory, Libby offered helpfully.
Hi Rory.
J.J. popped the tab on her soda, downed a gulp like she was doing tequila shots, and gestured with the can, how'd you fall in with these losers? Rory opened her mouth to answer but J.J. had already moved on, demanding of the group, What are we waiting for? Let's get started!
Emma swung her legs to the floor and leaned forward, handing out sheets of paper, Here's the most relevant information I found on the morning after pill, so we can make sure we're all up to speed on the facts. She looked chagrined. Sorry, I didn't bring a copy for you, Rory.
That's okay, she can have mine, J.J. said quickly. I'll look on with Toby. She handed over the paper to Rory, who took it with a small smile.
The group lapsed into silence. Rory bowed her head over the paper in her lap, desperately willing herself not to notice the way J.J. was leaning against Toby's shoulder, saying something quietly that make him grin and shake his head, chuckling.
The dramatic part of her wanted desperately to fake a missed appointment or sick stomach, and bolt from the room, up the stairs, and out of the building, never to be heard from again. But the idea of calling attention to herself in such an embarrassing way was more overwhelming than the interior humiliation of realizing that she'd completely misinterpreted Toby's friendliness as flirtation.
Rory didn't stay because she realized that a political cause was more important than a cute guy. She stayed because she felt guilty admitting her own superficiality, because she was too timid to escape an unbearably awkward situation. She stayed for all the wrong reasons.
But she stayed.
Libby leaned forward to grab another handful of pretzels. This friend of mine in the graphics department said he can print us t-shirts and signs for free, if we provide the materials.
Andy was sprawled in one of the armchairs, arms and legs all going in separate directions. He's probably hoping he'll get lucky. He dodged the pen Libby threw at him.
Either way, it's great! Toby leaned forward excitedly. Emma, can you look into how much it would cost to get a bunch of t-shirts, say a hundred, wholesale?
Already on it. Emma was busily flipping through the yellow pages. Cell phone? Diego offered his. She unfolded herself from the chair and walked away, plugging her ear so she could listen.
Over two hours had passed since the start of the meeting, and Rory was starting to forget that a world existed beyond the room. She'd never imagined the work and dedication that went into planning those strikes and protests that were scattered through the pages of her high school history textbook. And this was really small scale, compared to most. She'd realized, rather sheepishly, that she'd been laboring under the false impression that people just showed up at these kind of things, as if by some kind of righteous coincidence.
When are we actually going to do this? Diego asked, biting at a fingernail. Do we know?
Toby slid off the couch and grabbed a few pretzels. He remained crouched beside Rory for a moment, thinking.
Libby didn't look up. She and J.J. were bent over a stack of scrap paper, brainstorming slogans.
Can you call the campus health centers and try to find out what day they've booked the most appointments? We want as much exposure as possible when we do this.
Toby said quietly to Rory. Watch her, she's great at this kind of stuff.
Like an actress getting into character, Libby fluffed her hair and smiled expectantly, waiting for an answer on the other end. Hi! I was wondering if I could make an appointment with Dr. Lockwood this week? She waited patiently. Oh, no, I can't do Tuesday...um...let me check...Wednesday I have an interview then...do you have anything earlier that day? Oh. Do you have anything on Thursday because that would really be the best—you're completely booked on Thursday? Okay, let me see —no, I'm going home for my sister's wedding on Friday. Tell you what, I'll see if I can reschedule my interview, and I'll call you back. Thanks. Okay, bye! Libby hung up, looking pleased with herself. Diego applauded.
Toby asked.
Libby bent down and stuck her cell phone back in her purse. She just couldn't imagine fitting me in on Thursday. Apparently a new receptionist accidentally double-booked a bunch of appointments.
Wow, that's convenient. J.J. turned her gaze to Toby. Is that enough time? To raise a crowd?
He shrugged and straightened up, walking a little to stretch his legs. I hope so. I mean, who do we know will help, besides us?
Um, Emily and Wendy, definitely.
What about Joanna?
J.J. scrunched up her face.
Rory leaned back against the side of the couch. She didn't know any of the people they were discussing; once again she felt like an outsider among this group of people. After the first few minutes of the meeting everyone had acted like she didn't exist. Not meanly, just going about their planning unaffected by her presence. The few times she'd tried to voice a suggestion she'd been cut off or drowned out by someone oblivious to her attempt to be helpful. She wasn't sure whether to be hurt or annoyed, so she'd settled for a restless, discontent feeling somewhere between the two.
Emma was back, scribbled figures all over the page of her notebook. Toby peered over her shoulder. What's the news?
Good. I found a place having a closeout sale. Fifty cents a shirt if we buy over a hundred.
Sounds workable. What colors?
Emma made a face. We have a choice between mint green and rust.
For the love of christ, not mint green! Andy ordered, massaging his temples. I refuse to wear it. I'll quit.
Toby looked amused. Better go with the rust. When can we have them by?
Libby, is that enough time for your friend to print them? Plus our signs?
I think so. As long as we have a slogan designed by then.
Okay, let's get on that.
Already ahead of you, J.J. announced. She held up a rough sketch of big block letters and read it aloud, Unwanted Pregnancies Ruin Lives.' Short and simple, right?
Rory sat up a little straighter. For the first time it occurred to her that the medical care for which they were fighting could have seriously impacted her mother's life twenty years ago. And hers by extension.
I was thinking, Diego spoke up, that we could have a little picture with the words on the front—Libby said she'd draw it—and on the back we could have a few of the more positive statistics, how the morning after pill allows people to avoid unwanted pregnancy and stuff.
Toby crossed his arms. I like it.
But pregnancies don't necessarily ruin people's lives. The words came from Rory's mouth, surprising her with their sharpness.
Well, yeah, J.J. said lightly, undeterred. It doesn't always apply. But, she looked around to the others for support, a confident smile playing at her mouth, what self-respecting woman these days wants to give up her education and goals to raise a child?!
Rory knew that was her cue to nod and acquiesce, to agree that anyone in their right mind would think so too, to blend into the background again. Instead, she felt herself filled with an emotion that she'd often read about in books, but never experienced firsthand: righteous indignation.
She cleared her throat. My mom had me when she was sixteen.
The silence lasted only a few seconds, but it was still awkward. J.J. glanced away, whether embarrassed or annoyed it was hard to tell. Rory could feel her face getting hot. Andy broke the silence from where he was sprawled in one of the armchairs by guffawing loudly.
Well done, J.J., he said, applauding a few times for sarcastic effect, that was an open mouth, insert foot' moment if I've ever heard one.
Shut up, J.J. ordered. Now she definitely seemed embarrassed.
Well, we don't have to decide anything right now, Diego said hurriedly.
Of course not, Libby answered. Mike just needs the design by Monday.
That concession seemed to signal the end to the meeting, and Rory was immeasurably relieved as the others stood and stretched, beginning to gather up their scattered papers and trash. J.J. was the first to leave, slinging a woven bag covered in political buttons over her shoulder and hurrying out of the room; Rory could hear her pounding up the stairs outside. Diego twisted from side to side like a runner or a gymnast, loosening his back. Toby waited behind the rest, holding onto the straps of his yellow backpack with both hands, like a little kid. As soon as Rory headed for the door he fell into step beside her.
Glad you came?
She thought the question over seriously, and realized that her overall feeling towards the meeting was more positive than she'd thought. Or maybe it was just that talking to him seemed to put her in a better mood. I think so. She smiled up at him, liking the way he was watching their feet as they walked. You guys are a little intimidating at first.
I can see that. Toby nodded, accepting her comment. He glanced at her suddenly. You're coming back though, right?
I guess so. If you want me to come.
I invited you before, didn't I? And you know what? I knew it. He grinned, pointing to her. I knew you'd come through for us.
She blushed. You knew? she asked doubtfully.
I knew, he said emphatically. You just had this—this look in your eyes; when I got home that evening the first thing I said to J.J. was We have a live one! She's in for the long haul!' He chuckled. Now you have to be at the meeting on Sunday, or I'm going to look pretty stupid.
I'll come, she said softly. They walked in silence for a minute. Rory tried to ignore the ache in her stomach after hearing Toby mention going home to J.J. She slid her hand up and held onto her own elbow, rubbing the skin nervously. Is...J.J. mad at me?
he asked incredulously, laughing. Because you dared to contradict her? Of course not!
Are you sure? she asked nervously. She seemed kind of annoyed.
He shook his head, looking amused. That's just J.J.
He rubbed a hand over his goatee. Look, you gotta understand about J.J. She comes off as really pushy and stuff, but it's just...how she is. She's totally harmless. There was a pause, then he added fondly, She needs a verbal smack down now and again.
Rory studied her hands. Sounds like you know her pretty well.
He smiled absently but said nothing.
Feeling depressed again, Rory looked away, blinking in the light of a street lamp. she said self-consciously, stopping beneath the light. I live in that direction. She pointed over her shoulder.
Oh, sure. He nodded, half to himself, then kicked her lightly on the leg. So, I'll see you on Sunday then?
You will, she nodded, smiling.
Until tomorrow, then. He sketched an elegant bow, grinning, and under the streetlight his angular face was thrown into high relief. She was reminded of a courtly Victorian gentleman, only scrappier and more ethnic. And wearing sandals.
She turned towards the dorm, hugging herself against the night chill. As much as she was already trying to repeat a mantra of he's taken he's taken he's taken to herself, she couldn't ignore the newfound thrill of his smile. It was vaguely tempting to run back and kiss him, to throw caution and decorum to the wind, but he was gone when she risked a look behind her.
The next afternoon Rory returned to her room after lunch to find the light on her answering machine blinking furiously. She pressed play and flopped on the bed, absently plaiting her hair into two braids. Maybe she'd cut it short, just to try something new.
The first message was from Margot. Rory, it's me. She was speaking in a room that echoed. Listen, I can't talk for long because I'm hiding in the bathroom at the golf club—I'm having lunch with my parents—but I just had to tell you two things. There was a pause and her voice dropped. One: the second time was so much better than the first, thank god. Two: little Stevie? Ain't so little, if you know what I mean! She giggled. Okay, gotta go! Call my cell if you need me!
Rory pressed delete. There was a long silence as the second message began to play. Hey, Rory. It's J.J. From Voice of Liberty. She cleared her throat, and Rory sat up, listening. It took some work to track down your number, but anyway...I, uh, wanted to let you know that you were totally right to call me on being...insensitive, yesterday. I—We're really...very happy to have you helping us; we always need more honesty, you know? Anyway...I, uh, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
The message had Toby's fingerprints all over it, but Rory didn't care. She grinned to herself and bounced a little on the bed. Toby had taken her side.