Never Marry an Anime Character
By Tione
Disclaimer: I laugh.
A/N: This spoofy little thing popped into my head when someone I know left their wife for another man. Enjoy munching on the Mary-Sue bashing.
"There, there, Mary-Sue. He was a jerk anyway," Samantha said soothingly over the phone.
You see, Mary-Sue's husband had left her.
"But he wasn't! *hic* He was *hic* hot and nice *hic* and I HATE HIM!" Mary-Sue sobbed back.
Mary-Sue was distraught.
When another failed attempt from Samantha at comfort came, Mary-Sue slammed down the phone and threw herself onto her pink bed, sobbing uncontrollable.
Until she remembered that crying made her look ugly. So she sat up and stared at the wall.
* * *
"Kurama left me, Katie! He left me! For Hiei, of all people!" Mary-Sue said miserably, sipping her black coffee.
Mary-Sue and her best friend Katie were seated at Starbucks, catching up. "I know. Hiei did the same to me."
They shared a look of absolute desolation and continued to sullenly drink their coffee.
Suddenly, Mary-Sue slapped her hands down and stood up. "You know what? We don't have to take this! I'm a spirit detective, the best in the biz!"
"Yeah, and I'm a fire demon!" Katie chimed in.
"We don't need them! They'll see; we're just fine without them!"
"And when they come crawling home again, see if we'll take 'em back!"
They stood there, shining with hope (completely oblivious to all the stares).
"Who are we kidding?" They asked simultaneously. Sitting down again, they sank back into depression.
Then Mary-Sue started to notice just how pretty Katie was.
* * *
"Stupid fox, I don't see why you're so concerned about them," Hiei snapped.
"I just wanted to make sure they're okay," Kurama stated serenely. "And I think they'll be just fine."
"You worry too much."
"You don't seem that annoyed when I'm worried about you."
"Hn."
Peals of laughter erupted from Kurama's mouth.
Short, sweet, to the point. I guess I couldn't help writing a happy ending for Mary-Sue because I actually felt sorry for her. Yech.