Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I haven't won the lottery yet, so I still don't own them.
Summary: Part 5 of the Game Show Network series. In this one, AJ and Meredith share in the ongoing insanity. The lovebirds go on The Newlywed Game, but will the marriage be over before the game is?
Friday Afternoon JAG HeadquartersAdmiral AJ Chegwidden paced in his office. Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie sat in the chairs opposite his desk. They were furiously taking notes as he threw out orders and assignments.
"Rabb, you and Roberts will work on the budget numbers. When I get back, I expect to have something to review. Have Commander Turner take the Grey investigation down in Norfolk. He can take Petty Officer Coates with him – he'll need someone with him to help."
"Is there anything else, sir?" Mac asked.
"Yes," he sighed. "Shoot me in the head for agreeing to this ridiculous idea of Meredith's."
"Sir?" Harm looked at his commanding officer in disbelief.
"Never mind. My flight leaves tonight at 8:00 pm, and you both have my cell phone number in case of emergency."
"Sir, what about Dammit?"
"Tiner will be taking care of her." His phone buzzed and he picked it up. "Chegwidden." He paused to listen. "Send her in, Tiner. Thanks." He hung up.
"We're done here, and Meredith has arrived, so-" he was interrupted by Meredith entering.
"Hello, dear," she walked up and kissed him soundly. "Are you ready to go?"
"As soon as I dismiss the Colonel and the Commander," he said pointedly, but with a smile on his face. They took his hint, saluted and left his office, trying not to laugh at the scene they had just witnessed.
"Isn't it exciting, AJ? We're going to be on national television!"
Exciting isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe this. More like stressful, he thought to himself. Out loud, however, he simply agreed with his ecstatic wife.
"Well, let's get going. We've got a plane to catch!"
Monday Morning Television Studio, Burbank, California"Sir," the makeup artist was trying to explain to an irate AJ Chegwidden, "We're going to have to put some powder on your head. Otherwise, the glare will show up on camera."
"Of all the goddam silly things," he swore. "Meredith, I hope you really are enjoying all the suffering I'm going through for you." He threw that comment towards the other makeup chair, where Meredith was trying to look inconspicuous, while holding back her laughter.
"Sir, no one will even notice. Trust me."
Meredith decided to speak up. "AJ, it will be fine. Stop making a fuss and let her do her job." At those words, AJ finally subsided, and the makeup artist threw her a relieved look.
"Twenty minutes until we start," another staff member shouted into the room.
"That's your cue to get on set," the makeup artist told them. AJ and Meredith made their way to the set.
The familiar theme music swelled as Bob Eubanks strode out onto the stage to the applause of the studio audience. He began to introduce the four couples. Meredith and AJ were the last.
"And finally, we have Admiral AJ Chegwidden, the Judge Advocate General and his lovely wife, Meredith Cavanaugh, a professor of Shakespeare. How long have you been married?"
Meredith answered for both of them. "Just about two months. And the engagement almost didn't happen, Bob."
Bob lifted an eyebrow as the audience and their fellow contestants laughed. "How?"
"His attempt to propose could be accurately called a comedy of errors. What could go wrong, did. Up to and including the dog eating the ring." The audience roared with laughter and AJ started shaking his head. There was nowhere for him to hide.
"Well, on with the game. The wives will go to the soundproof room, while your husbands will answer a few questions about you."
The women left the stage, and Bob proceeded to ask the questions. AJ had been through debriefing sessions that were less nerve-racking than trying to anticipate what Meredith's answers were going to be. After a brief break, they brought the wives back out.
"Ladies, you all know how the game goes. You will earn five points for each answer that matches your husband's."
The first question was pretty innocuous, and Meredith matched AJ's answer, along with two of the other wives. The next one was a bit tougher. "Where is the weirdest place you've ever made whoopee?" She paused to think, and then answered, "On his yeoman's desk."
AJ turned beet red. "Meredith!" he shouted, then got himself back under control. "I thought that was 'classified' information." He held up his placard, which read "Hot tub in the back yard."
"Looks like you two didn't match there," the host commented. "And I think there's another story behind your answer, but I don't think the censors would allow us to tell it …"
They finished up the first round, with AJ and Meredith tied for first with one other couple. AJ left for the soundproof room, praying that the humiliation was over. He was mistaken. After a little while they came back out, ready to match answers with their wives.
The first question was a softball – "Do you sleep with your toes pointing toward the ceiling, the floor or the wall?" AJ and Meredith matched on that – wall. Then came the kind of question he had been dreading.
"What is your husband's one hidden talent?" AJ hid his head in his hands. When Bob came to him, he looked around, desperate for some natural disaster to strike to save him. None came.
"AJ?" Bob asked.
"Belly dance," he whispered.
"What was that – I couldn't hear you," Bob said.
"Belly dance." AJ couldn't believe he was saying it.
Meredith beamed as she flipped her card up – she had "belly dance" too.
"Care to give us a demonstration, AJ?" Bob commented and the audience began chanting "AJ! AJ! AJ!" Meredith elbowed him in the ribs and hissed in his ear, "Go on up there. They won't stop until you do."
Now really red in the face, AJ reluctantly got up and began a slow, bump-and-grind movement of his hips that had the ladies in the audience screaming. He began to get into it, speeding up his gyrations, until Meredith pulled him back down beside her. "That's enough, dear. You can continue that later, for me."
After the end of the second round, Meredith and AJ were in second place. They matched answers in the third round, but lost to a young couple from Missouri, who jumped up and down in excitement as the announcer described their prize – a sectional sofa and matching end tables.
Thursday Afternoon
JAG Headquarters
AJ walked into the bullpen. The show had aired last night, and was as horrible as he had feared.
As he headed towards his office, he found his way blocked by workmen. He saw Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie.
"What's going on here?" he demanded. "You didn't put holes in the ceiling again, did you, Rabb?"
Rabb hid a smile as he shook his head no. Colonel MacKenzie replied, "This morning, Tiner requested a new desk. I thought it prudent to approve his request, sir."