Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix (*sighs*)
This is the end…
Literally.
The last chapter.
I hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
And thanks again to all those reviewers!
Over 125 reviews for lousy 13 chapters (*sniff*)!
**
„Well, my congratulations Mrs Jumeaux! You're expecting…….TWINS!!" the doctor smiled at her and shook her hand.
Felice just shook her head in defeat and tried to get up from the gynaecologist's chair.
Not an easy undertaking because she already had the size of a grown up hippopotamus. Groaning and cursing, she dressed into her cheap tent-sized cotton dress and combed with the fingers of her right hand through her oily hair.
Outside the practice Two awaited her, smoking a cigarette and looking bored. He loaded her into the car.
"And?"
"I'm expecting Twins…"
"Again?? Well, that will be eight with those two then!" Two smiled ironically at her.
He opened the door to the messy and shabby flat they were living in and Felice dragged herself into the far too small and far too dirty living room.
There on the couch sat One, wearing jogging pants and an undershirt, holding a can of beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other and watching football on TV. He just casted her a short glance and snorted.
"When is lunch ready, I'm hungry!" he scratched his crotch and threw the empty can under the table. Children in the age between three and seven years stormed out of another room and clutched onto her cheap tent-sized cotton dress, all screaming and whining loudly, demanding candy or other things from her. They were all little white haired albinos.
Two accompanied his brother on the couch.
"Oh yes, I forgot to tell you. Your mother called today. She's visiting us for the next three months!!"
"Aaaarrrgh!!" Felice cried and bolted up in her bed.
In the pitch black darkness of her room she needed a few moments to orientate herself.
Nasty, nasty nightmare!!
She wiped the cold sweat out of her face and hastily checked if her scary dream had woken up the Twins who were, as always, sleeping in their room across the floor.
Luckily they were still asleep.
She looked at her clock. 3.27 in the morning.
Then she palpated her body.
Just to be sure that she hadn't developed into a hippo during sleep.
Everything alright with that too.
Relieved, she sank onto the mattress again and waited for sleep to come over her.
No chance.
Instead she discovered a sudden appetite for chocolate pudding.
Damn.
May be that pregnancy test wasn't such a bad idea after all….
**
Dressed only in her tiny nightgown (too hungry to search for her kimono), Felice sneaked out onto the corridor. She decided to stay in her human form, phasing would likely wake up One and Two and she didn't felt like explaining her sudden hunger attack right now.
She passed Neo´s and Trinity's room and took a moment to listen as she heard some mumbling and snoring that sounded suspiciously after Trinity.
"Grnndglfkjöf….Zzzzzhh..fat..yellow….caterpillar…oiiggghrremmmphhh..Cater..lhkkhkunfdgsfr….CATERPILLAR NOO ….Zzzzhhh ..must …look …pretty ..zzzhhh..ghrrmmkklkp"
Felice desperately tried to stifle a giggle.
Roaming the house at night was fun!
She decided to listen at the other doors too.
Boldly, she pressed her ear against Niobes and Morpheus room.
And heard a small, whining sound that reminded her of a lonely small puppy. She peeked through the keyhole. The light of the full moon showed her Morpheus who lay curled up in a foetus position and cuddled a pillow. Niobe was nowhere to be seen.
Felice shuddered. That was slightly creepy. And she could swear that that man wore a pink pyjama!
She entered the kitchen and opened the fridge. For an always hungry person like her, Barney's residence was the land of milk and honey. She sighed.
Hmm, chocolate, caramel or strawberry pudding?
Hmm, whipped cream or vanilla sauce?
Just as she had loaded her arms with a respectable selection containing out of a bit of everything, she heard footsteps. Quietly, she closed the fridge and hid herself in a dark corner.
She couldn't see who entered the kitchen; therefore she decided to return to her room to eat her prey. Sneaking on her toes, she made her way back through the corridor, balancing her pudding mountain on both arms which reduced her sight in the dark extremely.
And then it happened.
*BANG*
Felice wouldn't have believed that it would make such a noise if two fully with food loaded persons run into one another, if some one had told her so just a few hours ago.
The reality was worse.
She and the mysterious stranger collided with unexpected force and food flew with immensive speed and power through the air. Dishes landed on the tiled floor. A frustrated scream escaped her throat as her precious pudding landed on her, the stranger, the floor and the nearby walls, but mostly on herself. She felt a cooked potato painfully make contact with her forehead. Startled, she tried to maintain balance and stepped on a roasted chicken leg.
That was too much.
She stumbled and fell right into the other person and together they broke down in a loud crash.
Of course, such an accident couldn't go unnoticed…
Felice could hear all nearby doors snap open and then some one turned the lights on.
The mysterious stranger was Niobe.
Utterly shocked and embarrassed, the two women sat flat on the floor and looked at each other.
Felice covered in chocolate pudding and vanilla sauce and Niobe covered in sauce béarnaise, garnished with parts of roasted chicken.
One, Two, Trinity, Neo and Morpheus just gaped.
And then started laughing.
"Are you starting to make a habit of sneaking out of your room at night?" Two asked slightly angered but amused as he pulled her onto her feet.
One removed a trace of chocolate pudding with his finger from her face and licked it off.
"Hmm, I could get used to you being covered in chocolate. Look Two, should we allow her to shower or should we just lick it off her?"
"My dear brother always had a sweet tooth!" explained Two with a smirk as he noticed the shocked expressions of the others.
"Felice, was that really necessary? What if something happened to your….to you?" Trinity, who still firmly believed that her best friend was pregnant and therefore feared that something could happen to the baby, said frustrated.
"Come on love, what should happen to her in here?" Neo tried to calm his girlfriend.
Trinity, who still held a grudge against Neo because of the caterpillar incident, turned to him and took a pose that only could be described as really intimidating.
"Men!! Always this careless! I tell you what have could happen; she could have fallen and broken her neck. The Merovingian could have been returned and kidnap or kill her!" she screamed.
Neo just looked at her.
"Oh, is it this special time of the month again? Don't worry, love. I'm brewing you this tea and then you´re feeling-
"Aaaarggh! Shut up!" she screamed and then looked quite furious at Two.
"Best, you keep her in your room and take care that this sneaking out at night stops!" she eyed him sternly.
One grinned. That was what they wanted anyway all the time.
"Trin, stop ordering my husband around!" Felice snapped, angry that the vanilla sauce now dripped into her décolleté.
Trinity and the others just looked at her surprised. That was the first time ever that Felice defended the Twins verbally against some one!
Then she grinned smugly.
"That's my job!"
**
The next morning
Mental diary of Trinity:
What a day!
I just wanted to drive to the shopping mall and get that damned pregnancy test for Feli…okay, and perhaps do a bit shopping for myself.
Then first Niobe insisted to come with me, but refused to tell me why.
Okay, it's not that I mind company, but she's acting weird the last days. And sneaking out to the kitchen during the night is, while totally usual for Felice, very unusual behaviour for her.
But not enough with that, just as we entered the parking garage One stormed out and insisted to be taken to the shopping mall as well.
And of course, Niobe, who can't stand him in the least since he pulled that faces to her during our journey, had to start an argument.
I stopped it before it got to a fight and allowed One to drive with us if he kept nice. Both of them were very edgy today.
On the way, I pondered how best to purchase the pregnancy test without One finding out.
Advised therefore that we go shopping separated and meet again an hour later.
Then I tried to sneak to the pharmacy without being watched.
First attempt: stumbled into Niobe who was pestered by One. Didn't enter pharmacy and instead went to Calvin Klein for some nice underwear.
Second attempt: had almost reached pharmacy's entrance as I spotted One sneaking out of a jewellery shop next door to pharmacy. Had to back off to not be spotted. Went instead to book shop for diet guide. Watched Niobe sneaking out of pharmacy.
Third attempt: finally successful! Couldn't decide which test to buy, therefore bought seven different and hid them in unsuspicious brown paper bag.
Return journey very quiet because no one wanted to tell voluntarily what he bought. And every one of us clutched an unsuspicious brown paper bag on his lap.
**
Trinity dragged Felice into her bathroom and locked the door behind them.
"Where's Niobe?"
"I don't know, she stomped away as soon as we returned."
Trinity emptied the contents of her paper bag out onto one of the small tables in the luxurious bathroom Felice now shared with the Twins.
"Okay, let´s see…."
They opened all of them and read through the instructions.
"That's not too hard to understand, you just have to wait for the colour. Blue means not pregnant and pink means ´Oh shit!´." Felice ironically said. Her stomach was doing somersaults while she silent prayed for a miracle.
While Felice silently peed on the various test strips, Trinity smiled.
"What's so funny?" Felice wanted to know.
"I just wanted to know if I could be the god mother of your child….if you're really getting one!" she hastily added as she noticed her friends shocked expression.
"Really Trin, I want to have your problems!"
*Knock knock*
"What are you doing in there?" One wanted to know from the outside.
"That's none of your matters!" Felice screamed back.
"Well, hurry up! You're not the only ones who want to use the bathroom!"
"Men!" Felice rolled her eyes.
She finished preparing the tests.
"How do we smuggle them out of here?" Trinity whispered.
"I'm waiting!!" said One impatiently.
The two women scanned the room nervously.
"…3…."
"We need something to hide them in!" Felice whispered.
"…2…"
"There, take a towel, we're wrapping them in. Hurry!" Trinity panicked.
They grabbed a towel and piled the various tests and their packings on it. Then they formed a bundle out of it.
"…1…0…I'm coming in!!" One announced and phased into the bathroom.
"Really One, how could you? We could have been naked!" Felice scolded.
"Don't promise what you can't –
He eyed their bundle curiously.
"What do you have there?"
"As I said before, that's none of your matters!" Felice said and pushed Trinity out of the bathroom.
**
They sneaked out on the corridor.
"Where can we go?"
"Unfortunately not into our room, Neo´s taking a nap!" Trinity said.
"Well, that leaves Niobe. Let's see if Morpheus is around!"
They knocked at their door. No answer.
"Well, I don't think that Niobe would mind if we used her bathroom for a while!" Trinity said and opened the door.
"Niobe??" Trinity asked as they entered the room.
"Over here!" was the reply out of the bathroom.
They crossed the room and Trinity reached for the knob.
"We just wanted to ask if we could-
*BANG*
Felice groaned. It had happened again.
Just as Trinity was about to open the door, one hand on the knob, the bundle in the other, Niobe had opened it from inside and the two of them had collided.
The towel flew through the air and emptied its contents over the three women onto the floor. The tablet that Niobe had carried did the same.
"Not again!" Felice sighed and got to her knees in order to collect her pregnancy tests.
Niobe suddenly looked very embarrassed.
"Wait a moment, these are far more then we had!" Trinity proclaimed after they had gathered all test stripes.
"No wonder, five of them are mine!" Niobe said.
"Yours??" Felice asked puzzled.
Trinity just gaped.
Niobe looked first uncomfortable, then smug.
"Hey, you're not the only one here who possesses a love life, didn't you know?"
Felice blushed and Trinity started to giggle.
"Oh, I´m sorry, I´m sorry!!"
"Never mind. What are we doing now? Which belong to me and which to you?" Niobe asked.
Felice, Trinity and Niobe kneeled on the floor and looked at the pile of tests.
Silence.
"Well, there's just one thing that's for sure!" Trinity started finally.
"What?"
"If they all turn blue, no one of you is pregnant!"
"Then I suggest we just wait and see!"
"Okay!"
Fifteen dreadful minutes passed in silence.
As the only neutrally person, Trinity volunteered to examine the results.
Five more dreadful minutes passed.
"And?" Felice finally dared to ask.
"Stop torturing us and tell us the truth." Niobe insisted with shaking voice.
"Well, seven of them are blue….and five of them are pink." Trinity said.
"The problem is…" she continued.
Niobes and Felices jaws dropped.
"That Niobe bought the same tests as I did. Therefore I cannot say if the pink ones are yours or hers!"
"Oh…my….GOD!!" Felice screamed.
Niobe looked terribly pale for a person with naturally dark skin.
Suddenly, Felice resolutely got up from the floor.
"That's it. I'm going to see a doctor! I want certainty!!"
"You're absolutely right!!" Niobe said and together they stomped out of the room, leaving a grinning Trinity to clean up the mess.
So maybe she would become a god mother after all!
**
Trinity had just picked up the last pregnancy test as the door opened and Neo, Morpheus and the Twins entered.
"Here you are! We searched half of the castle after you!" Neo said relieved.
"Where are Niobe and Felice?" Morpheus asked.
"Yeah, where's our chocolate-" One got silent as he saw Two's disapproving look.
Then they noticed the garbage can Trinity was holding.
And its contents.
"What the hell? Trinity are you pregnant?" Neo gulped and staggered. Morpheus had to support him; otherwise he had fallen flat on his face.
Trinity opened her mouth to speak.
"I'm going to be a father! I'm going to be a…..daddy! Wohooo!!" Neo screamed happily and embraced his girlfriend.
"Oooohh, the poor child!" One mocked.
"Yes, I hope it will come after Trinity. Or could you imagine a child with that face?" Two snickered.
"Punished for life..hehehehe!" One smirked evilly.
Trinity suddenly smiled very sweetly as she freed herself out of Neo´s arms.
And very evilly.
"Excuse me boys, but unfortunately these are not my tests…."
The Twins stopped dead in their tracks.
Neo looked terribly disappointed.
"Not yours?" One asked sheepishly.
Two shuffled his feet and started sweating.
"No, not mine!" Trinity grinned.
Morpheus suddenly gulped. After all, they were in his rooms!
"Trinity, please enlighten us! Whose tests are these??"
"Well, some of them belong to Niobe and some of them belong to Felice!"
Now the Twins started staggering.
Trinity grinned at them.
"And some of them are negative and some are positive…." She tortured them.
"What does that mean?" Morpheus asked scared.
"We don't know yet. They have taken my car to visit a doctor!"
**
"That's not fair!" grumbled Neo, as the men and Trinity sat in the common room and waited for Felice and Niobe to return.
"They're getting a baby but we don't…"
Trinity patted his head.
"Oh shut up!" hissed Two annoyed.
One next to him hadn't said a word since they entered the room. He just sat there and looked like a goldfish, opening and closing his mouth again and again and just looking utterly stupid.
"We're too young to be fathers!" Two said to justify himself.
All others just looked at him.
"Okay okay, but we're way too much bad asses to be fathers!" he grumbled.
"I mean, can you imagine me, sitting in the kitchen, wearing an apron and feeding a baby? Seriously, that's not what we were made for!"
"You're absolutely right! You just don't deserve to be gifted with a child!" Neo hissed.
Just as the three of them were about to start a fight, they heard the front door open and then, excited voices.
Female voices.
Everything got deadly quiet.
Then Felice entered the room, looking almost ecstatic.
"Hey, why are you looking so sourly?" she chirped.
Then her gaze fell on Trinity.
A very guilty looking Trinity.
Felice tilted her head and sighed.
"Trin?!"
"Yes?"
"Well?"
"I'm sor..sorry I didn't mean to tell them, ahem ´twas like a kind of accident, really I wouldn't...I'm soo sorry!!"
"You've told them????"
Felice looked shocked at One and Two.
Two got up and nervously adjusted his tie. One slowly followed his example. But surprisingly it was Neo who spoke first.
"We want you to know, that we're there for you, if you should need our help! We wouldn't let you down, that's what friends are ffoooooor-"Neo finished his little speech with a high pitched little girlish scream. Two had stomped on his foot with the heel of his boot.
"Well, don't worry Cherie; we will take care of you and…"
"And the baby!" One finished the sentence.
"You won't need these idiots! You've got us to look after you and…"
"And the baby!" One said, eagerly to play his part in this difficult and important conversation.
"And I'm sure that there is some kind of upgrade for our program so that we are able to care for an expecting woman and for a…"
"And for a baby!" One said enthusiastically.
"Could you please stop that? It's annoying!" Two scolded his twin.
If he wouldn't know any better, he could swear that his other half became slowly intrigued by the thought of having to look after some wrinkly, funny smelling, incredible noisy, drooling, totally helpless and terribly annoying little midget. Babies and white suits just didn't get along….
"Well, that's nice to hear!" Felice said a little caught off guard.
"And when is now the big day?" Trinity asked eagerly.
"Excuse me?"
"The expected date of birth, when does the child come??"
"Which child?"
"What part don't you understand? I mean, when are you giving birth to your child?" Morpheus tried to explain.
Surely the whole excitement was just too much for the young mother.
"I'd love to tell you, if I would get one!" Felice snickered.
"WHAT??"
"You haven't let me tell a single word! I…am…not…pregnant!"
"Not pregnant?" Two said and sank relieved back onto the couch. He tried to resist the temptation to wipe the sweat from his forehead.
"No baby??" One sounded disappointed.
"Nope, no baby!" Felice said matter of factly.
"But all the throwing up?"
"Ah yes, the doctor told me that I'm allergic against Barney´s gumdrops he's feeding me all the time!" Felice laughed.
The door opened again and a dreamy looking Niobe floated into the room.
"But what do I do now with the baby clothing I already bought as a present for you?" Trinity asked sombrely.
Felice winked.
"You can give them to Niobe. After all, she's the one who's pregnant here!"
"WHAT???"
**
"Stay in touch, will you?" Trinity asked for the hundredth time as she embraced Felice.
They would finally return to Zion today.
Niobe and Morpheus were practically floating in the 7th heaven, smiling and whispering all the time.
Neo still had a melancholy look on his face.
Felices parents, who had spent the last days on a combined sight-seeing and shopping trip, had packed their bags as well and waited for the chauffeur to take them back to the airport.
"Of course I will!" Felice reassured her. She was a bit melancholy too.
Trinity watched the Twins who were whispering to their host since several minutes.
"What are you three going to do now?" she asked her friend.
"Hmm, they will move in my apartment. There's room enough for all of us. And after that…we will see, I honestly don't know yet!"
"Ladies and Gentlemen, if I could have your attention please?" Mr Barney suddenly announced.
The whispering died and everyone looked at him curiously.
"The young man over here, officially known as Mr One Jumeaux has something to say!"
All heads turned to One who gulped and then slowly approached Felice.
In front of her he bent down on one knee and took her hand.
"Felice my love, I know that this may look weird since you're already married to my twin and since we're technically just two halves of one and the same program, but nevertheless I want to ask you….Will you marry me?"
"Ahh…uhm..yes..I think.." You could tell, Felice was almost speechless.
One got up and slipped a ring on her finger, right above Two's wedding ring. One's had instead of one single stone two little black diamonds on it. It was designed to fit perfectly onto the other ring, so that the diamonds formed a little triangle.
Felices mother floated over to here in a cloud of vanilla perfume and embraced her daughter.
"Schatz, we have something for you!"
"It's a very old family heirloom. Take good care for it so that you can give it to your own children one day!"
Two slightly winced at the mention of ´children´.
"Give me your hands!" Felices father said.
Felice and One obeyed.
"I fear that little tradition is not well known any more these days.."
*SNAP CLICK*
"We call it the binding ceremony!"
Slowly One and Felice looked down.
Locked to their wrists was a nice pair of antique looking silver handcuffs.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
*The End (?)*
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