chap1: omfg liek dudlyz detenmetd!
omg liek zerr wuz dis hairy poter d00d woh liek had grene iiz n stuf n he wuz a wyzurd n omfg stfu on wif da storee. he wuz under liek a wnido n sudenle dere wuz liek a BANG BANG BANG n liek it sond liek sxe n omg. n den big phat vermin he wuz all liek "OMG HAIRY WTF U DOIN SUN" n hairy wuz liek "SCRO U IM MAZTERBATIN FURGET DEM KITYS" n vermin wuz lek "OMG GRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!1111111111111231!11#!3!!" n hairy "OGM LIEK I HAT U" n liek run awai. he wunted 2 liek g2 howurz n be all liek wid hiz luvr dumledur n hav wildzchildz sxe omg liek eww. but hagrud wuz all havn sxe wid big phat gynt d00det n hairy wuz arused so he liek fold dudly n wuz al liek "OMG HAHAHA UR PHAT" n dudley wuz all liek "OMFG STFU HAHA U LUUUVVVV CEDRIK N U LUUUUUUV HIM N WUTN SXE" n hairy wuz all liek cryin n puld otu hiz wadn n omg hahahahahahaha lolololz "OMG FUX0RZ" n den dudly wuz cryinz n den sudenly BANG BANG BANG N IT WUZ DRARK N OMFG SCAREE WTF LOLOLLZZ HARDKORE GOHT. n den big liek manz cum n wer liek "OMG HAHAHAHA KIZZZZZ ME" n hairy wuz liek "OMG DUDLY I LUVVVVV U EPEXT PUNTANG" n den he FALED but he tryd agin n den dey went away n den dis scaree uld lady wid herpes cum n she wuz liek "OMG U SUK U GOT AIDZ." n hairy wuz liek "OMG WHOR U HO FO SHIZEL?"
omg liek zerr wuz dis hairy poter d00d woh liek had grene iiz n stuf n he wuz a wyzurd n omfg stfu on wif da storee. he wuz under liek a wnido n sudenle dere wuz liek a BANG BANG BANG n liek it sond liek sxe n omg. n den big phat vermin he wuz all liek "OMG HAIRY WTF U DOIN SUN" n hairy wuz liek "SCRO U IM MAZTERBATIN FURGET DEM KITYS" n vermin wuz lek "OMG GRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!1111111111111231!11#!3!!" n hairy "OGM LIEK I HAT U" n liek run awai. he wunted 2 liek g2 howurz n be all liek wid hiz luvr dumledur n hav wildzchildz sxe omg liek eww. but hagrud wuz all havn sxe wid big phat gynt d00det n hairy wuz arused so he liek fold dudly n wuz al liek "OMG HAHAHA UR PHAT" n dudley wuz all liek "OMFG STFU HAHA U LUUUVVVV CEDRIK N U LUUUUUUV HIM N WUTN SXE" n hairy wuz all liek cryin n puld otu hiz wadn n omg hahahahahahaha lolololz "OMG FUX0RZ" n den dudly wuz cryinz n den sudenly BANG BANG BANG N IT WUZ DRARK N OMFG SCAREE WTF LOLOLLZZ HARDKORE GOHT. n den big liek manz cum n wer liek "OMG HAHAHAHA KIZZZZZ ME" n hairy wuz liek "OMG DUDLY I LUVVVVV U EPEXT PUNTANG" n den he FALED but he tryd agin n den dey went away n den dis scaree uld lady wid herpes cum n she wuz liek "OMG U SUK U GOT AIDZ." n hairy wuz liek "OMG WHOR U HO FO SHIZEL?"