Title: It's My Time
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the WWE or its Superstars.
The last few weeks have been pretty hard for me but I am lucky enough to say I have great friends that have been trying to keep my mind off of everything. The girls take me shopping every chance they get. And the guys have been telling non-stop jokes and doing everything in their power to get me to smile. I love them all to death. It helps to forget about the heartache even if just for a little while. Day by day it gets a little better and maybe someday I will completely be over Hunter. I think if I keep telling myself that then hopefully one day I will believe it.
As for Hunter and I, we haven't spoken to each other on a personal level since that night. We have had to speak now and again about work related things. What is there really left to say? I still love him but he made it clear it he has no feelings for me. Alexia of course is never at a loss for words and every chance she gets she throws it back into my face that she slept with Hunter. I swear to god if she doesn't stop soon I will kill her. Yesterday it took both Glenn and Mark to hold me back.
Sometimes when Hunter is in the ring training or working out a match I will sit up in the stands and watch him. For just a few minutes I can pretend we are still together and just enjoy looking at him. Then reality hits me and I hold back the flood of tears. Every time we run into each other in the hall he always looks like he wants to say more to me but he stops himself in time. Then again it could just be wishful thinking on my part. I try to let everyone believe I am doing better then I actually am. The first few days following " The Break Up" everyone walked on eggshells around me. I didn't want to get out of bed and go to work. I didn't want to do anything.
Finally one day Mark couldn't take it anymore and barged into my room, threw me into the shower again and turned it on full blast. He said everyone was sick and tired of watching me wallow in self-pity. He told everyone to stop babying me and that it was time for me to just start dealing with everything. Yes it hurts when you get your heart broken but life does go on. I admit everything he said made sense but it wasn't until he said one more thing that it finally gave me the motivation to get off my ass and start living my life again. " Jessica do you see Hunter walking through life in a daze all the damn time? Does he look like he hasn't eaten properly in days? No you see him living his life, yes I know it hurts but you have to realize he's not grieving over you publicly but I'm not saying he isn't upset and maybe he lets it show in private but the thing is he isn't acting like the world has ended. Now get your ass out of that shower and get ready we're going to lunch with our friends." After he said all of that he didn't wait for a response from me, not that I think he actually expected one. But he was right; I needed to live my life, life without Hunter. I had a wrestling career that was finally taking off. In the coming weeks I would be distancing myself from Chris a little bit to have my run at the women's title.
Things with Chris were a little strained in the beginning but over time things are right back to the way they were. We've really let loose in our storyline and had some pretty memorable moments on the air. I have to admit there have been a few close calls. For example one time they shot a bit with us backstage kissing before his match. I was supposed to moan out his name but instead I started to say Hunter. Luckily enough for me Chris heard me start to slip and kissed me on the mouth. I felt like such an idiot, one reason being that I wasn't focusing on my job and two being I think I may have hurt Chris's feelings.
Of course Shawn is still around trying to convince me to go out with him. I do admit in the beginning after the whole break up that the bad evil side of me wanted to say yes in hopes that it would get back to Hunter. But I'm not like that. Two wrongs don't make a right. God when did I become such a girl scout.
Sometimes when I'm alone in my room like I am right now I relive that moment when I broke up with Hunter. I always knew we both had tempers and reacted first and thought about things later on. If I just hadn't opened my mouth and let my anger get the best of me that night then we could very possibly still be together. I never told anyone how I really felt about Hunter. I couldn't stand to see their pitying looks. Aw poor Jessica, fell in love with a guy that first chance he got slept with another woman.
I still can't shake the feeling that I don't know the whole truth about what went on that night. Too many things fit together perfectly like a puzzle. How did Shawn know Alexia was in Hunter's room? Why did Hunter tell me I didn't understand the circumstances? I just can't explain it. A quick glance at the clock tells me I better get my ass in gear if I want to make it to the arena on time. I'll have to think about this stuff more in depth later on.
Review as always
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the WWE or its Superstars.
The last few weeks have been pretty hard for me but I am lucky enough to say I have great friends that have been trying to keep my mind off of everything. The girls take me shopping every chance they get. And the guys have been telling non-stop jokes and doing everything in their power to get me to smile. I love them all to death. It helps to forget about the heartache even if just for a little while. Day by day it gets a little better and maybe someday I will completely be over Hunter. I think if I keep telling myself that then hopefully one day I will believe it.
As for Hunter and I, we haven't spoken to each other on a personal level since that night. We have had to speak now and again about work related things. What is there really left to say? I still love him but he made it clear it he has no feelings for me. Alexia of course is never at a loss for words and every chance she gets she throws it back into my face that she slept with Hunter. I swear to god if she doesn't stop soon I will kill her. Yesterday it took both Glenn and Mark to hold me back.
Sometimes when Hunter is in the ring training or working out a match I will sit up in the stands and watch him. For just a few minutes I can pretend we are still together and just enjoy looking at him. Then reality hits me and I hold back the flood of tears. Every time we run into each other in the hall he always looks like he wants to say more to me but he stops himself in time. Then again it could just be wishful thinking on my part. I try to let everyone believe I am doing better then I actually am. The first few days following " The Break Up" everyone walked on eggshells around me. I didn't want to get out of bed and go to work. I didn't want to do anything.
Finally one day Mark couldn't take it anymore and barged into my room, threw me into the shower again and turned it on full blast. He said everyone was sick and tired of watching me wallow in self-pity. He told everyone to stop babying me and that it was time for me to just start dealing with everything. Yes it hurts when you get your heart broken but life does go on. I admit everything he said made sense but it wasn't until he said one more thing that it finally gave me the motivation to get off my ass and start living my life again. " Jessica do you see Hunter walking through life in a daze all the damn time? Does he look like he hasn't eaten properly in days? No you see him living his life, yes I know it hurts but you have to realize he's not grieving over you publicly but I'm not saying he isn't upset and maybe he lets it show in private but the thing is he isn't acting like the world has ended. Now get your ass out of that shower and get ready we're going to lunch with our friends." After he said all of that he didn't wait for a response from me, not that I think he actually expected one. But he was right; I needed to live my life, life without Hunter. I had a wrestling career that was finally taking off. In the coming weeks I would be distancing myself from Chris a little bit to have my run at the women's title.
Things with Chris were a little strained in the beginning but over time things are right back to the way they were. We've really let loose in our storyline and had some pretty memorable moments on the air. I have to admit there have been a few close calls. For example one time they shot a bit with us backstage kissing before his match. I was supposed to moan out his name but instead I started to say Hunter. Luckily enough for me Chris heard me start to slip and kissed me on the mouth. I felt like such an idiot, one reason being that I wasn't focusing on my job and two being I think I may have hurt Chris's feelings.
Of course Shawn is still around trying to convince me to go out with him. I do admit in the beginning after the whole break up that the bad evil side of me wanted to say yes in hopes that it would get back to Hunter. But I'm not like that. Two wrongs don't make a right. God when did I become such a girl scout.
Sometimes when I'm alone in my room like I am right now I relive that moment when I broke up with Hunter. I always knew we both had tempers and reacted first and thought about things later on. If I just hadn't opened my mouth and let my anger get the best of me that night then we could very possibly still be together. I never told anyone how I really felt about Hunter. I couldn't stand to see their pitying looks. Aw poor Jessica, fell in love with a guy that first chance he got slept with another woman.
I still can't shake the feeling that I don't know the whole truth about what went on that night. Too many things fit together perfectly like a puzzle. How did Shawn know Alexia was in Hunter's room? Why did Hunter tell me I didn't understand the circumstances? I just can't explain it. A quick glance at the clock tells me I better get my ass in gear if I want to make it to the arena on time. I'll have to think about this stuff more in depth later on.
Review as always