SNAPE'S DIARY
Today was Valentine's Day. Very interesting. "50 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!!" Oops, sorry, my mistake. "Are we lonesome tonight?" Not anymore Snapey old boy it seems that sending myself a Valentine made people notice me. I feel a great balloon of happiness welling up inside my heart. Is this love?? Aargh it exploded. Oh well it seems to have been only a pocket of gas. Must run.
DRACO MALFOY'S DIARY
Dear Diary,
I am the best. Had a good snog with everyone. Yes I AM the best. My hair is awfully nice. Oooh, I bet you wanna feel my hair.. *Malfoy rubs his hair against his diary, while making orgasmic noises* Mmmm.definitely the best. Love, Draco.
SALAZAR SLYTHERIN
Dear Diary, Today was Valentine's Day! I sent myself a Valentine, although I forgot I placed a bomb inside the card so I blew my face off. Whoops my eye just fell out...that's better. "SHERBERT LEMON?" "Oh, hello Dumbledore! Did you notice the new look?" "No. I did not. I am blind." "Lets get it on."
FLAVOUR 48
Something fell on Harry's head. It was bird shit.
FLAVOUR 49
The old man leaned on the bench, breathing heavily. With a cracked voice he shouted "Expelliarmus!" and fell to his knees. He groped for a broom. Reaching for one, he placed it between his knees. "Zoom, zoom!" he whispered as he remembered the good old days of Quidditch. "Hello Mr. Potter. How are you today?" a kind voice asked him. He mumbled to himself and writhed on the floor. "Lets get him out of here." The kind voice said in an undertone not meant for the old man's ears. But the old man heard. He heard everything. He turned his face up to the nice man. "Go..go away!" he cried. A white cloak enveloped him as he was carried away. Away to the mental institution. THE END.
Today was Valentine's Day. Very interesting. "50 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!!" Oops, sorry, my mistake. "Are we lonesome tonight?" Not anymore Snapey old boy it seems that sending myself a Valentine made people notice me. I feel a great balloon of happiness welling up inside my heart. Is this love?? Aargh it exploded. Oh well it seems to have been only a pocket of gas. Must run.
DRACO MALFOY'S DIARY
Dear Diary,
I am the best. Had a good snog with everyone. Yes I AM the best. My hair is awfully nice. Oooh, I bet you wanna feel my hair.. *Malfoy rubs his hair against his diary, while making orgasmic noises* Mmmm.definitely the best. Love, Draco.
SALAZAR SLYTHERIN
Dear Diary, Today was Valentine's Day! I sent myself a Valentine, although I forgot I placed a bomb inside the card so I blew my face off. Whoops my eye just fell out...that's better. "SHERBERT LEMON?" "Oh, hello Dumbledore! Did you notice the new look?" "No. I did not. I am blind." "Lets get it on."
FLAVOUR 48
Something fell on Harry's head. It was bird shit.
FLAVOUR 49
The old man leaned on the bench, breathing heavily. With a cracked voice he shouted "Expelliarmus!" and fell to his knees. He groped for a broom. Reaching for one, he placed it between his knees. "Zoom, zoom!" he whispered as he remembered the good old days of Quidditch. "Hello Mr. Potter. How are you today?" a kind voice asked him. He mumbled to himself and writhed on the floor. "Lets get him out of here." The kind voice said in an undertone not meant for the old man's ears. But the old man heard. He heard everything. He turned his face up to the nice man. "Go..go away!" he cried. A white cloak enveloped him as he was carried away. Away to the mental institution. THE END.