Title: Insanely True Ch 4
Author: LovelyPsychopath
Pairings: HP/DM
Comments: Ahh. Sorry again for taking so darned long! I've gotten really lazy. I swear, I spend all of my time listening to music, reading, and wondering around aimlessly. Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to my very best friend, and soul mate (in a friendly way, mind you!) Lottie.
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The two boys arrived in Hogsmeade around 11:00am. The sun was shining brightly, and both were in high-spirits. Draco smiled, and looked over at Harry.
"So, where to first?" Asked Draco.
"Hmm. That's a tough one." Harry said, with mock seriousness.
"Honeydukes!" The both chorused, and headed off for the candy shop.
It was a small shop, with a large and colorful front window. The bright candies displayed in the window could tempt any passer-by into the store. Harry's eyes gleamed in a particularly hungry manor when he laid eyes on some very delicious looking pumpkin flavored toffees.
"Let's go in!" Harry said in an excited voice. It was almost as if they were children again, enjoying the simple pleasure of a candy shop.
The two boys rushed in, each going straight towards their favorite sections. Draco stared wide eyed at the marvelous selection of sweets. It'd been months---no, years since he had allowed himself to indulge in candy. Ever since he had discovered his mental problems, he had been subconsciously punishing himself. It was now that he realized this.
He allowed his fingers to lightly trail over the brightly colored lollies wrapped in shiny clear plastic. The lump in his throat and the tightness in his chest were making him slightly dizzy. He picked out a green one, probably sour apple, and a dark red one labeled 'blood orange'.
Draco held the lollies loosely in his hands. He suddenly felt feverish and unstable on his feet. He looked down at the candy he was holding, only to see the green and red beginning to swirl together. Draco stifled back a cry.
"Not now, not now, not now, not now! If there's a god, please, not now." Draco repeated nervously to himself, slightly rocking on his feet. The blond could feel his heart palpitating in his chest. Each beat felt as if his heart would jump out of his throat.
"Oh God!" Draco moaned. Everything was swirling together, and he no longer cared about trying to appear normal. He sat right down on the floor, and tossed the candies in his hands aside. Acting on instinct, he curled into a fetal position.
"Draco! Did you know that there are eight new flavors of...?" Harry's face paled. He rushed over to Draco's side, not caring about the puzzled expressions of the other customers.
Harry squatted down next to Draco, and wrapped his arms around the shaking boy. The Slytherin clung onto Harry for dear life, and began to sob into his chest.
"I'm so sorry! So, so, so, so, fucking sorry!" Draco moaned.
"Shh.it's alright Draco. You didn't do anything wrong." Harry murmured into Draco's ear, while gently rocking him back and forth.
After what seemed like an eternity, Harry pulled Draco up. With one arm still around Draco's waist, they walked out of Honeydukes.
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Harry walked Draco over to a bench, and sat them both down. The Gryffindor waited for the boy next to him to speak, not wanting to force the issue. After about 10 minutes, Draco allowed his eyes to meet Harry's.
"I'm so sorry for ruining the day, Harry." Draco sounded incredibly child-like and vulnerable.
"No, no! Draco, listen; you didn't do anything wrong at all." Draco looked relieved, so Harry continued. "Tell me; what happened?"
The blond's whole body seemed to slump, and his eyes turned downward.
"It's just---looking at all of that candy made me realized something. I've been subconsciously punishing myself---for being the way I am. I've stopped doing things I enjoy. I don't eat candy, listen to music, read books, or anything else that I enjoy. I don't even wear sweaters when it's cold, just so the cold'll sting my skin." He took a long pause, before continuing. "When I realized those things---I just sort of freaked out. I just couldn't believe that I had done that to myself. It made me realize how weak I really am." Draco looked hesitant to continue, and Harry sensed this.
"You're not anymore weak than anyone else Draco. We all have our weaknesses. It's normal. Even I have my times of weakness."
"I know, it's really silly of me to blame everything on myself, but, I really can't help it. One moment I was standing there thinking, and the next, everything was swirling."
"Swirling?"
Draco's cheeks burned with embarrassment. "Yeah, swirling. All of the colors and people, and shelves of candy, well, they just all kind of swirl together, until I can't differentiate them from each other. Oh god, I must sound like a complete psycho-a needy psycho."
"Draco, it's alright. I don't even know right now what to say that can comfort you---just know, that it'll be alright in the end. I'll be there, Hermione will be there, and even Ron'll be there for you if you ever need anything. Just remember that life is too big for anyone to handle on their own. It's okay to break down every once and a while."
Draco wanted to say something. He wanted to thank Harry, hug Harry, do anything, say anything, but at that exact moment, he found that he couldn't do a thing. He could only sit there, giving Harry a heartfelt look of appreciation. The Gryffindor waited for him to find his voice.
"Thank you Harry-just, thank you." Harry nodded.
"I have an idea. How about we go get some lunch, my treat?"
"No way, Potter. You've done enough for today. Lunch is *my* treat, today!"
Harry laughed. "Well, I can see you're feeling better! Lead the way then, *Malfoy*."
The two boys headed off for lunch, laughing and not thinking about the weight on their shoulders. Today was the present. They could think about tomorrow when it came.
Author: LovelyPsychopath
Pairings: HP/DM
Comments: Ahh. Sorry again for taking so darned long! I've gotten really lazy. I swear, I spend all of my time listening to music, reading, and wondering around aimlessly. Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to my very best friend, and soul mate (in a friendly way, mind you!) Lottie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The two boys arrived in Hogsmeade around 11:00am. The sun was shining brightly, and both were in high-spirits. Draco smiled, and looked over at Harry.
"So, where to first?" Asked Draco.
"Hmm. That's a tough one." Harry said, with mock seriousness.
"Honeydukes!" The both chorused, and headed off for the candy shop.
It was a small shop, with a large and colorful front window. The bright candies displayed in the window could tempt any passer-by into the store. Harry's eyes gleamed in a particularly hungry manor when he laid eyes on some very delicious looking pumpkin flavored toffees.
"Let's go in!" Harry said in an excited voice. It was almost as if they were children again, enjoying the simple pleasure of a candy shop.
The two boys rushed in, each going straight towards their favorite sections. Draco stared wide eyed at the marvelous selection of sweets. It'd been months---no, years since he had allowed himself to indulge in candy. Ever since he had discovered his mental problems, he had been subconsciously punishing himself. It was now that he realized this.
He allowed his fingers to lightly trail over the brightly colored lollies wrapped in shiny clear plastic. The lump in his throat and the tightness in his chest were making him slightly dizzy. He picked out a green one, probably sour apple, and a dark red one labeled 'blood orange'.
Draco held the lollies loosely in his hands. He suddenly felt feverish and unstable on his feet. He looked down at the candy he was holding, only to see the green and red beginning to swirl together. Draco stifled back a cry.
"Not now, not now, not now, not now! If there's a god, please, not now." Draco repeated nervously to himself, slightly rocking on his feet. The blond could feel his heart palpitating in his chest. Each beat felt as if his heart would jump out of his throat.
"Oh God!" Draco moaned. Everything was swirling together, and he no longer cared about trying to appear normal. He sat right down on the floor, and tossed the candies in his hands aside. Acting on instinct, he curled into a fetal position.
"Draco! Did you know that there are eight new flavors of...?" Harry's face paled. He rushed over to Draco's side, not caring about the puzzled expressions of the other customers.
Harry squatted down next to Draco, and wrapped his arms around the shaking boy. The Slytherin clung onto Harry for dear life, and began to sob into his chest.
"I'm so sorry! So, so, so, so, fucking sorry!" Draco moaned.
"Shh.it's alright Draco. You didn't do anything wrong." Harry murmured into Draco's ear, while gently rocking him back and forth.
After what seemed like an eternity, Harry pulled Draco up. With one arm still around Draco's waist, they walked out of Honeydukes.
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Harry walked Draco over to a bench, and sat them both down. The Gryffindor waited for the boy next to him to speak, not wanting to force the issue. After about 10 minutes, Draco allowed his eyes to meet Harry's.
"I'm so sorry for ruining the day, Harry." Draco sounded incredibly child-like and vulnerable.
"No, no! Draco, listen; you didn't do anything wrong at all." Draco looked relieved, so Harry continued. "Tell me; what happened?"
The blond's whole body seemed to slump, and his eyes turned downward.
"It's just---looking at all of that candy made me realized something. I've been subconsciously punishing myself---for being the way I am. I've stopped doing things I enjoy. I don't eat candy, listen to music, read books, or anything else that I enjoy. I don't even wear sweaters when it's cold, just so the cold'll sting my skin." He took a long pause, before continuing. "When I realized those things---I just sort of freaked out. I just couldn't believe that I had done that to myself. It made me realize how weak I really am." Draco looked hesitant to continue, and Harry sensed this.
"You're not anymore weak than anyone else Draco. We all have our weaknesses. It's normal. Even I have my times of weakness."
"I know, it's really silly of me to blame everything on myself, but, I really can't help it. One moment I was standing there thinking, and the next, everything was swirling."
"Swirling?"
Draco's cheeks burned with embarrassment. "Yeah, swirling. All of the colors and people, and shelves of candy, well, they just all kind of swirl together, until I can't differentiate them from each other. Oh god, I must sound like a complete psycho-a needy psycho."
"Draco, it's alright. I don't even know right now what to say that can comfort you---just know, that it'll be alright in the end. I'll be there, Hermione will be there, and even Ron'll be there for you if you ever need anything. Just remember that life is too big for anyone to handle on their own. It's okay to break down every once and a while."
Draco wanted to say something. He wanted to thank Harry, hug Harry, do anything, say anything, but at that exact moment, he found that he couldn't do a thing. He could only sit there, giving Harry a heartfelt look of appreciation. The Gryffindor waited for him to find his voice.
"Thank you Harry-just, thank you." Harry nodded.
"I have an idea. How about we go get some lunch, my treat?"
"No way, Potter. You've done enough for today. Lunch is *my* treat, today!"
Harry laughed. "Well, I can see you're feeling better! Lead the way then, *Malfoy*."
The two boys headed off for lunch, laughing and not thinking about the weight on their shoulders. Today was the present. They could think about tomorrow when it came.