I could have sworn I just heard a bird.
***
I was much younger, the last time I heard that familiar call. It struck me as odd, that birds from around the universe gave the same cry when confronted with danger. Of course, to birds, danger can be something as simple as a laughing little girl running under its tree, sitting down and giggling as she hid from her companion. Or.. it could be something else.
Oh.. he sounds angry. He's calling for me.
But that wasn't right.. I wasn't doing anything wrong. It was just a game.
Because, the first few months, after the last day I saw my parents, I played those little games with myself... most children who are faced with tragedy do, so I hear.
My first instinct, after his somber voice told me my family was dead, was to doubt him. Naturally. I looked at his cold face and shook my head. "You're lying!" I screamed angrily, bitter tears stinging my cheeks. "You're lying and I hate you!!! I want you to take me back home, now!!"
His eyes of course showed no emotion. They were, after all, nothing more than red glass. "You don't want me to do that."
"Yes I do!! I want to go home!!"
He hesitated, for a long long time. My blood was boiling. How dare he, after all. How dare he say things like that.
"You.. understand.. your home is destroyed. Your parents and brother are dead. But if you insist, I will take you back to your planet." He stood up and snapped his fingers. "You there. Set a course for KO-35."
My second instinct was to laugh. You see... I don't remember what I saw on KO-35. I really don't. It was as if my life were a film reel, with a large section lying separate from the rest of the film. I had a feeling, always, that if I simply looked in the direction of that cut scene, balled up and tattered just below me.. well, I would remember it all. But I decided not to.. instead, I accepted it. And I went on as if they'd never existed.
Easily.
It was just a game.
I hid behind the tree and looked up into its sparse branches. The heat was stifling and nearly all vegetation on the planet was dead or dying from the lack of water. I wiped my brow and sighed as I heard him calling for me.
And then, all at once, his voice faded into the distance, and a higher pitch took it over. I looked above me, and there I saw the bird. Its movements were surprisingly sharp for its assuredly poor health. It looked about it as if it expected a lush crop of grains to pop up right before it.
Being the child I was, I stared at it with fascination. It was rare that I saw examples of a flourishing natural state of being. Even at my young age, I had totally foregone everything natural about myself. My hair was purple, I wore totally unbreathable leather and metal, my eyes were even trained not to see the beauty in anything, only its potential for self-fulfillment.
So why this bird enthralled me so, I will never know. Maybe its resillience, its innocence and total surrender to the world around it.. I have no idea.
Its cry still pierced me, though. It looked perfectly happy, until it cried out, and all at once, I heard every woe the small creature was experiencing as loud as my own inner woes. While this bird was crying out in hunger, discomfort, frustration, it seemed it was also relaying a message to me.. and at the time, it made no sense. I just felt so lonely all of a sudden.
He appeared next to me then, of course. He was so stealthy I didn't even notice he was there until his smooth, even voice spoke to me.
"Astronema, what are you doing..."
He seemed to see the bird at that same moment, and he looked at me. Then, without a word, I lifted my wrath staff, and took a shot at the bird.
Its small body jumped in shock, but it wasn't able to lift itself up from its perch, so it merely kept crying out.
I had meanwhile dropped my staff, angry and confused. It didn't make any sense to me...
He knelt down in front of me. Never sat.. just knelt. And he took my face in his hand, with surprising gentleness.
"That's good. You must never let the enemy doubt your power."
My eyes widened at what he said. "How.. how is that bird the enemy?!" I asked incredulously.
"First and foremost.. that which is not artificial is the enemy. That which embodies the traits of those who claim to be 'good', 'natural', is the enemy. Don't feel pity for its mournful cry. Beneath the most mournful of cries, there is the intention of good, and potential malice toward you. Good causes more problems than it solves. Do not ever forget what those who practice 'good' did to you."
I shook my head, biting my lip.
"Perhaps it is not so much the bird that is the enemy. Perhaps it is simply.. what the bird represents. I understand how the human eye seeks out beauty. I implore you not to see its current state as beautiful."
He then looked upward and with a single nod, shot ray beams at the bird, slicing it open and spilling blood over the tree. Its clawed feet unwillingly released the perch and in a graceful arc, the bird plummeted to the ground before my feet.
"Its live state was wasteful. Distracting. Placed there by the spirit of goodness to confuse and anger you. This way.. it is neither a distraction, nor a threat to you." He stood up and held out his hand for me to take.
And I took it.
It was all a game, after all.
***
***
I was much younger, the last time I heard that familiar call. It struck me as odd, that birds from around the universe gave the same cry when confronted with danger. Of course, to birds, danger can be something as simple as a laughing little girl running under its tree, sitting down and giggling as she hid from her companion. Or.. it could be something else.
Oh.. he sounds angry. He's calling for me.
But that wasn't right.. I wasn't doing anything wrong. It was just a game.
Because, the first few months, after the last day I saw my parents, I played those little games with myself... most children who are faced with tragedy do, so I hear.
My first instinct, after his somber voice told me my family was dead, was to doubt him. Naturally. I looked at his cold face and shook my head. "You're lying!" I screamed angrily, bitter tears stinging my cheeks. "You're lying and I hate you!!! I want you to take me back home, now!!"
His eyes of course showed no emotion. They were, after all, nothing more than red glass. "You don't want me to do that."
"Yes I do!! I want to go home!!"
He hesitated, for a long long time. My blood was boiling. How dare he, after all. How dare he say things like that.
"You.. understand.. your home is destroyed. Your parents and brother are dead. But if you insist, I will take you back to your planet." He stood up and snapped his fingers. "You there. Set a course for KO-35."
My second instinct was to laugh. You see... I don't remember what I saw on KO-35. I really don't. It was as if my life were a film reel, with a large section lying separate from the rest of the film. I had a feeling, always, that if I simply looked in the direction of that cut scene, balled up and tattered just below me.. well, I would remember it all. But I decided not to.. instead, I accepted it. And I went on as if they'd never existed.
Easily.
It was just a game.
I hid behind the tree and looked up into its sparse branches. The heat was stifling and nearly all vegetation on the planet was dead or dying from the lack of water. I wiped my brow and sighed as I heard him calling for me.
And then, all at once, his voice faded into the distance, and a higher pitch took it over. I looked above me, and there I saw the bird. Its movements were surprisingly sharp for its assuredly poor health. It looked about it as if it expected a lush crop of grains to pop up right before it.
Being the child I was, I stared at it with fascination. It was rare that I saw examples of a flourishing natural state of being. Even at my young age, I had totally foregone everything natural about myself. My hair was purple, I wore totally unbreathable leather and metal, my eyes were even trained not to see the beauty in anything, only its potential for self-fulfillment.
So why this bird enthralled me so, I will never know. Maybe its resillience, its innocence and total surrender to the world around it.. I have no idea.
Its cry still pierced me, though. It looked perfectly happy, until it cried out, and all at once, I heard every woe the small creature was experiencing as loud as my own inner woes. While this bird was crying out in hunger, discomfort, frustration, it seemed it was also relaying a message to me.. and at the time, it made no sense. I just felt so lonely all of a sudden.
He appeared next to me then, of course. He was so stealthy I didn't even notice he was there until his smooth, even voice spoke to me.
"Astronema, what are you doing..."
He seemed to see the bird at that same moment, and he looked at me. Then, without a word, I lifted my wrath staff, and took a shot at the bird.
Its small body jumped in shock, but it wasn't able to lift itself up from its perch, so it merely kept crying out.
I had meanwhile dropped my staff, angry and confused. It didn't make any sense to me...
He knelt down in front of me. Never sat.. just knelt. And he took my face in his hand, with surprising gentleness.
"That's good. You must never let the enemy doubt your power."
My eyes widened at what he said. "How.. how is that bird the enemy?!" I asked incredulously.
"First and foremost.. that which is not artificial is the enemy. That which embodies the traits of those who claim to be 'good', 'natural', is the enemy. Don't feel pity for its mournful cry. Beneath the most mournful of cries, there is the intention of good, and potential malice toward you. Good causes more problems than it solves. Do not ever forget what those who practice 'good' did to you."
I shook my head, biting my lip.
"Perhaps it is not so much the bird that is the enemy. Perhaps it is simply.. what the bird represents. I understand how the human eye seeks out beauty. I implore you not to see its current state as beautiful."
He then looked upward and with a single nod, shot ray beams at the bird, slicing it open and spilling blood over the tree. Its clawed feet unwillingly released the perch and in a graceful arc, the bird plummeted to the ground before my feet.
"Its live state was wasteful. Distracting. Placed there by the spirit of goodness to confuse and anger you. This way.. it is neither a distraction, nor a threat to you." He stood up and held out his hand for me to take.
And I took it.
It was all a game, after all.
***