***
"T.. Tomorrow?", I found myself asking. "So soon?"
The room was dark, and he muttered something. It was said in what I recognized as an amiable tone, so I was rather certain that he hadn't said anything bad.
And indeed, he hadn't. The bed creaked as he shifted his weight to the floor, crossed the room and increased the illumination. He did it gradually enough that my eyes adjusted quickly to the request I'd made of them, to tell me that Andros wasn't angry or annoyed with me.
He came back to the bed, and seated himself once again. "That's better." He said, smiling.
I smiled back, a genuine smile. That surprised me. I guess I was just so relieved that he hadn't come in to scold me for being so distant the past few days.
I guess he understood that I needed a little time to let my blood cool. Looking at him that evening, I saw a different person than the tired, haggard boy from a couple days ago. He looked as if he'd had time to relax and indeed, let his own blood cool. Things were getting better, I could tell that from the atmosphere. No stifled "hello"s or uncertain gestures lingered in the corridors of the ship. People were beginning to go away, and the Rangers were relieved. All of us were relieved, and things were getting back to normal.
And if it were so evident to me, despite the fact that I'd barely come out of my quarters except for meals, then it must be so.
"So... this is the time Cassie was talking about.." I said, breaking the silence.
"What did Cassie say?" Andros asked.
"The time when we 'get some peace'.. that the mobs finally leave us alone." I paused, still smiling. "We're really going there."
"Yeah.. we really are. Everything we talked about... we'll finally see it again."
I looked at him, how his eyes were glittering with anticipation, and real joy. It couldn't help but bring at least one tear to my eye. I still vibrantly remembered our conversation in the cargo bay. We were just like kids again, talking and laughing and wondering, just like before. We'd talked all night, until finally I blanked out with happy exhaustion.
It was such a cherished moment of mine, and for a moment I felt so ashamed for ever doubting the happiness I felt. With my brother, it was just like being home again.
And now, we really were going home.. again.
I looked up at the ceiling, and I almost felt completely free. Free of every offense I'd ever committed. Every crime, every.. everything.
"What are you thinking about?" Andros suddenly inquired.
I lowered my head and looked behind me, at the pillow. "I'm just thinking... trying to remember what everything looked like."
"It.. it might not look the same.. I mean, not exactly." He said as gently as he could.
I laughed, despite the words he said. "No.. of course not. I don't expect it to."
"But... um.. I'll show you.. where we lived. That'll be the first thing, the most important."
"Do you think our parents are going to be there?"
It was probably a dumb thing to say. Magical thinking, I suppose. But he didn't encourage me to feel shame for the question I'd just asked. Instead, he shrugged boyishly.
"I.. I really don't know. But I hope so."
I nodded my head, tears in my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Me...me too."
He nodded too, and put his arm around me. It was an impromptu gesture, but I didn't reject it.
I'm not sure how long we sat like that, both of us very obviously crying, but neither of us eager to get away any time soon.
And suddenly morning couldn't come fast enough.
***
"T.. Tomorrow?", I found myself asking. "So soon?"
The room was dark, and he muttered something. It was said in what I recognized as an amiable tone, so I was rather certain that he hadn't said anything bad.
And indeed, he hadn't. The bed creaked as he shifted his weight to the floor, crossed the room and increased the illumination. He did it gradually enough that my eyes adjusted quickly to the request I'd made of them, to tell me that Andros wasn't angry or annoyed with me.
He came back to the bed, and seated himself once again. "That's better." He said, smiling.
I smiled back, a genuine smile. That surprised me. I guess I was just so relieved that he hadn't come in to scold me for being so distant the past few days.
I guess he understood that I needed a little time to let my blood cool. Looking at him that evening, I saw a different person than the tired, haggard boy from a couple days ago. He looked as if he'd had time to relax and indeed, let his own blood cool. Things were getting better, I could tell that from the atmosphere. No stifled "hello"s or uncertain gestures lingered in the corridors of the ship. People were beginning to go away, and the Rangers were relieved. All of us were relieved, and things were getting back to normal.
And if it were so evident to me, despite the fact that I'd barely come out of my quarters except for meals, then it must be so.
"So... this is the time Cassie was talking about.." I said, breaking the silence.
"What did Cassie say?" Andros asked.
"The time when we 'get some peace'.. that the mobs finally leave us alone." I paused, still smiling. "We're really going there."
"Yeah.. we really are. Everything we talked about... we'll finally see it again."
I looked at him, how his eyes were glittering with anticipation, and real joy. It couldn't help but bring at least one tear to my eye. I still vibrantly remembered our conversation in the cargo bay. We were just like kids again, talking and laughing and wondering, just like before. We'd talked all night, until finally I blanked out with happy exhaustion.
It was such a cherished moment of mine, and for a moment I felt so ashamed for ever doubting the happiness I felt. With my brother, it was just like being home again.
And now, we really were going home.. again.
I looked up at the ceiling, and I almost felt completely free. Free of every offense I'd ever committed. Every crime, every.. everything.
"What are you thinking about?" Andros suddenly inquired.
I lowered my head and looked behind me, at the pillow. "I'm just thinking... trying to remember what everything looked like."
"It.. it might not look the same.. I mean, not exactly." He said as gently as he could.
I laughed, despite the words he said. "No.. of course not. I don't expect it to."
"But... um.. I'll show you.. where we lived. That'll be the first thing, the most important."
"Do you think our parents are going to be there?"
It was probably a dumb thing to say. Magical thinking, I suppose. But he didn't encourage me to feel shame for the question I'd just asked. Instead, he shrugged boyishly.
"I.. I really don't know. But I hope so."
I nodded my head, tears in my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Me...me too."
He nodded too, and put his arm around me. It was an impromptu gesture, but I didn't reject it.
I'm not sure how long we sat like that, both of us very obviously crying, but neither of us eager to get away any time soon.
And suddenly morning couldn't come fast enough.
***