Chapter 7: Failed tries
After the conversation had ended Arnaya was led to her new accommodation in one of the numerous guestrooms of the palace. The king had decided that it was best if they kept a close eye on her, bust most importantly, that she stayed in close reach, so that they could quickly consult her, whenever the need arose. The room was simple, clean and comfortable and provided her with a good view on the courtyard of the palace.
Arnaya was just sitting at her window and watched in fascination as a group of elvish travelers arrived, of whom an extraordinary beautiful she-elf with dark hair and fair skin immediately aroused her interest, when Gandalf the White entered the room for their magic lesson. She acknowledged his presence with a brief nod and immediately returned to her previous occupation of watching the new arrivals. Arnaya saw Aragorn run down the stairs quickly, his face an expression of delightful anticipation and happiness. Then she heard the rustle of fabric close by. She turned her head and noticed that the wizard had stepped next to her. He had a smile on his wrinkly face and his eyes sparkled contently while he watched the scene unfolding below them.
"Who are those people?" she asked him curiously, her eyes never leaving the happenings down on the courtyard out of sight.
"Lord Elrond and his daughter Arwen Undomiel," Gandalf informed her briefly. "But let's concern ourselves with the matters at hand, shall we? Let's start our lesson."
"Whatever," she turned around and stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest. Arnaya really didn't know what the sense of all this was. After all she already knew everything there was to know about magic. Her mother had taught her well in all those years and made sure she never made any mistakes when she cast her spells. She knew which potion to use at which occasion and was able to take care of herself.
The old wizard reached into one arm of his white cloak and produced a single candle. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me we are starting with the old candle trick."
"Well, we are," he grinned at her contently. "We have to start somewhere."
"Now watch me closely."
He positioned the candle on the table in front of him. He had barely sat it down when a hissing noise could be heard as the flame was magically ignited as by an invisible hand.
"That's an easy one. I could already do that when I was no older then ten years," she answered and stifled a fake yawn.
"Yes, but now you will be using white magic, instead of the dark arts."
"And how am I supposed to do that?" Arnaya asked skeptically.
"The most important lesson you will have to learn is that everything has a balance. There is a perfectly fitting counterpart to everything that exists in nature. There is good and bad, light and dark, joy and sorrow, life and death, to name only a few. Everything that exists in this world is connected by a complicated, but also very delicate network of energy. Our task is to respect the natural order of things. When we cast a spell, we have to take care that it doesn't disturb the balance."
"Everything we do has consequences. We have to take that in consideration when use magic, because with power comes responsibility. Never forget that. Magic is an art and a privilege that is only given to few chosen ones. It has to be practiced with wisdom and diligence, never with carelessness."
"So lighting the candle is not about how fast you succeed in doing it or how bright the flame sparkles, but about the way you take to achieve your goal. You have to use your power wisely. Respect the order of things, keep up the balance," he paused and studied her features. The young witch wore a very contemplative expression on her face. He wondered what was going on in her head right now.
"Do you still think this is a task that can be performed easily?" Gandalf looked at her questioningly.
"No, and I'm beginning to ask myself at which point of my life everything got so complicated," she said dejectedly and ran one hand through her long black hair.
"When you chose to make your own decisions and started to see this world through your own eyes," the old man said and threw her a sympathetic glance.
He could relate very well to how she felt at the moment. He was a man that had to take many responsibilities and sometimes their weight lay heavily on his shoulders. What had kept him going over years and decades, yes even centuries, was the fact that he had learned to enjoy the simple things of life, a habit that came naturally with his profession. But in this long time he had also learned how to deal with difficulties. First and foremost a wizard has to be a keen observer, not only when it comes to his surroundings, but also when it comes to himself, his feelings.
The sensation of confusion, which he was sure Arnaya experienced right now, can be something very distressing, but if you take a closer look at it its true nature will be revealed to you. It is merely the beginning of change. Confusion means that you are not sure that your perception of the world around you is correct. What follows is a revalidation of your own personal believes, an adaptation to the new reality that you are slowly beginning to discover.
His task was now to make sure that she learned this feeling was nothing but the starting point of a learning process. She would not realize if he told her so, she had to discover it on her own. She had to learn the she had to embrace change and not push it away. Change lets us grow as a person; it is the sun that ripens the once green and sour apple sitting on a tree branch and turns it into a delicious fruit, but like everything it needs time.
Gandalf thoughts returned to the situation at hand. "When you try to cast this spell, take your time. It won't work the first time around, maybe not even the hundredth time. Concentrate on the object, get to know every fiber of it, then you will succeed."
"What if I won't be able to do it?" she asked hesitantly. What he had just explained to her sounded very complicated. She had never thought about magic this way. It had come to her easily. She never had to put much time into casting a spell. Her magic had been quick, effective and dangerous.
"You will be, "was his simple answer.
"Our next lesson will start when you have completed your task," he informed her and turned to leave.
~
Arnaya sat on her bed, her eyes closed, her face a mask of deep concentration. Beside her on the nightstand stood the candle. Her mind was exploring its waxy surface discovering every irregularity, every drop of wax that had ever run down it. She imagined a flickering flame dancing on top of the candle. The way the warmth radiate from it and how it lightened the room. A little lake of warm wax formed under the flame that grew which each passing moment. Then the thick liquid passed the edge of the candle and run down it side like a river. It moved down slowly, ever so slowly until it landed on the wooden surface of her nightstand, leaving a little white stain. She opened her eyes to check if her efforts had been rewarded by success. She saw the candle flicker from the corner of her eye, but when she turned her head to look at it directly the flame stopped burning. Arnaya baled her slender hand to a fist and let it slump down on the cushions that lay on her bed. She had failed again.
The young witch had been spending the last hours with practicing the spell. It was very frustrating, because whenever she thought she would succeed, she discovered that she was not even remotely close to achieving her goal. She began to have the slight suspicion that somewhere there was a higher power that was watching her and amusing itself by playing little tricks on her every once in a while.
Arnaya decided that it was time for a break. She had a searing headache because of concentrating constantly and desperately needed a breath of fresh air. Her room wasn't guarded by any of the king's soldiers. She could explore her surroundings freely, at least to a certain extend. Gandalf had cast a spell on her so that she could move within the palace walls without hindrance, but not leave.
With huge energetic strides she paced down the long corridor, almost colliding with the person that just turned around the next corner. She let out a high pitched shriek and jumped back.
"Watch where you're going!" she hissed between clenched teeth. Arnaya was highly irritable, thanks to her fruitless efforts of lighting the candle, but she almost wished she could take back her harsh words when she discovered who the person was she had almost run into.
"Your mood seems even worse than the day we met," Legolas answered with an amused smile on his lips.
"Did your magic lesson with Gandalf not go well?" he asked her curiously.
"Don't even let me get started," she rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"I think even a three year old would do a better job than I. I practiced for hours, but couldn't even perform the simplest of all spells," Aranya said with a dejected look on her face.
"I do not know anything about magic, but I do know that every once in a while the mind needs a little distraction."
"You're right. You wouldn't by any chance know where the palace garden is?"
"I do and if you wish to I could accompany you there."
She nodded in response and they started to walk through the palace side by side.
"How are you feeling?" he asked after a while and true concern was ringing in his voice.
The young woman looked at him with surprise shining briefly in her eyes. She really hadn't thought that anybody was thinking and much less caring about how she was feeling. Arnaya at least owed him a sincere answer for his heartfelt concern.
"I don't know. Somewhere between angry, lost, guilty, frightened, desperate and confused," she had a sad smile on her face and her voice sounded soft and vulnerable and not at all like her.
Legolas stopped walking and lay a soothing hand on her shoulder. "I am sorry," he said with a sincere tone in his voice. "I do not know if that is any consolation to you, but those feeling never last. They will come to pass like everything in life does with time."
His kind words had struck a chord inside of her. Its soft tone rung through her body and penetrated the thick walls of defense she had built around herself.
"You shouldn't be so nice to me. I don't deserve it," she said. Her voice was shaky and barely above a whisper. The tension of the last days was finally getting to her. She was annoyed with herself for letting her feelings show so clearly, but she didn't have the strength to hold them back any longer. Arnaya bit down her lip and silently cursed herself for being so weak.
"Everybody who is sad deserves comfort," the elf answered softly.
The dam inside her broke and all she wanted to do was cry, but she wouldn't allow herself to show weakness in front of him. "Don't say another word!" she screamed at him, but her voice was not strong and intimidating as she had intended it to be, but filled with emotion and breaking.
She sucked in a shuddering breath and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself, but to know avail. It was too late. Her eyes filled with tears couldn't be held back any longer because they needed to fall, because they had to fall. Arnaya turned her back on him to hide her face. Maybe he would disappear and leave her alone like he should. Weakness was something disgusting and not to be tolerated.
"There is no shame in letting your emotions show."
"I..," she took a deep breath, "I won't cry. I won't! Not in front of you. "
"Those tears are nothing you have to hide. Let them fall freely. Maybe they will cleanse your soul."
A single tear trailed down her cheek. It was the first in many years. She had cried the last time when she was eight years old. Her mother had always said it was a sign of weakness and disgusting. So Arnaya had wiped away her tears and been strong. But now she couldn't be any longer. Her body shook with sobs and her knees got shaky because the emotions began to overwhelm her. Legolas couldn't stand idly by and watch her suffer. So he stepped up to her and gathered her in his arms without giving it a second thought. She was in pain and needed comfort and that was all the mattered right now.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi there! Hope you liked this. I will try to keep them chappies coming and update soon. Let me know what your thinking. Pretty please? :)
(to Musicgrl) Questions are never ever stupid!!! I really want Arnaya to be romantically involved with..let's say somebody *nudge nudge* But she is something like semi-evil and really confused it will take some time.
After the conversation had ended Arnaya was led to her new accommodation in one of the numerous guestrooms of the palace. The king had decided that it was best if they kept a close eye on her, bust most importantly, that she stayed in close reach, so that they could quickly consult her, whenever the need arose. The room was simple, clean and comfortable and provided her with a good view on the courtyard of the palace.
Arnaya was just sitting at her window and watched in fascination as a group of elvish travelers arrived, of whom an extraordinary beautiful she-elf with dark hair and fair skin immediately aroused her interest, when Gandalf the White entered the room for their magic lesson. She acknowledged his presence with a brief nod and immediately returned to her previous occupation of watching the new arrivals. Arnaya saw Aragorn run down the stairs quickly, his face an expression of delightful anticipation and happiness. Then she heard the rustle of fabric close by. She turned her head and noticed that the wizard had stepped next to her. He had a smile on his wrinkly face and his eyes sparkled contently while he watched the scene unfolding below them.
"Who are those people?" she asked him curiously, her eyes never leaving the happenings down on the courtyard out of sight.
"Lord Elrond and his daughter Arwen Undomiel," Gandalf informed her briefly. "But let's concern ourselves with the matters at hand, shall we? Let's start our lesson."
"Whatever," she turned around and stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest. Arnaya really didn't know what the sense of all this was. After all she already knew everything there was to know about magic. Her mother had taught her well in all those years and made sure she never made any mistakes when she cast her spells. She knew which potion to use at which occasion and was able to take care of herself.
The old wizard reached into one arm of his white cloak and produced a single candle. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me we are starting with the old candle trick."
"Well, we are," he grinned at her contently. "We have to start somewhere."
"Now watch me closely."
He positioned the candle on the table in front of him. He had barely sat it down when a hissing noise could be heard as the flame was magically ignited as by an invisible hand.
"That's an easy one. I could already do that when I was no older then ten years," she answered and stifled a fake yawn.
"Yes, but now you will be using white magic, instead of the dark arts."
"And how am I supposed to do that?" Arnaya asked skeptically.
"The most important lesson you will have to learn is that everything has a balance. There is a perfectly fitting counterpart to everything that exists in nature. There is good and bad, light and dark, joy and sorrow, life and death, to name only a few. Everything that exists in this world is connected by a complicated, but also very delicate network of energy. Our task is to respect the natural order of things. When we cast a spell, we have to take care that it doesn't disturb the balance."
"Everything we do has consequences. We have to take that in consideration when use magic, because with power comes responsibility. Never forget that. Magic is an art and a privilege that is only given to few chosen ones. It has to be practiced with wisdom and diligence, never with carelessness."
"So lighting the candle is not about how fast you succeed in doing it or how bright the flame sparkles, but about the way you take to achieve your goal. You have to use your power wisely. Respect the order of things, keep up the balance," he paused and studied her features. The young witch wore a very contemplative expression on her face. He wondered what was going on in her head right now.
"Do you still think this is a task that can be performed easily?" Gandalf looked at her questioningly.
"No, and I'm beginning to ask myself at which point of my life everything got so complicated," she said dejectedly and ran one hand through her long black hair.
"When you chose to make your own decisions and started to see this world through your own eyes," the old man said and threw her a sympathetic glance.
He could relate very well to how she felt at the moment. He was a man that had to take many responsibilities and sometimes their weight lay heavily on his shoulders. What had kept him going over years and decades, yes even centuries, was the fact that he had learned to enjoy the simple things of life, a habit that came naturally with his profession. But in this long time he had also learned how to deal with difficulties. First and foremost a wizard has to be a keen observer, not only when it comes to his surroundings, but also when it comes to himself, his feelings.
The sensation of confusion, which he was sure Arnaya experienced right now, can be something very distressing, but if you take a closer look at it its true nature will be revealed to you. It is merely the beginning of change. Confusion means that you are not sure that your perception of the world around you is correct. What follows is a revalidation of your own personal believes, an adaptation to the new reality that you are slowly beginning to discover.
His task was now to make sure that she learned this feeling was nothing but the starting point of a learning process. She would not realize if he told her so, she had to discover it on her own. She had to learn the she had to embrace change and not push it away. Change lets us grow as a person; it is the sun that ripens the once green and sour apple sitting on a tree branch and turns it into a delicious fruit, but like everything it needs time.
Gandalf thoughts returned to the situation at hand. "When you try to cast this spell, take your time. It won't work the first time around, maybe not even the hundredth time. Concentrate on the object, get to know every fiber of it, then you will succeed."
"What if I won't be able to do it?" she asked hesitantly. What he had just explained to her sounded very complicated. She had never thought about magic this way. It had come to her easily. She never had to put much time into casting a spell. Her magic had been quick, effective and dangerous.
"You will be, "was his simple answer.
"Our next lesson will start when you have completed your task," he informed her and turned to leave.
~
Arnaya sat on her bed, her eyes closed, her face a mask of deep concentration. Beside her on the nightstand stood the candle. Her mind was exploring its waxy surface discovering every irregularity, every drop of wax that had ever run down it. She imagined a flickering flame dancing on top of the candle. The way the warmth radiate from it and how it lightened the room. A little lake of warm wax formed under the flame that grew which each passing moment. Then the thick liquid passed the edge of the candle and run down it side like a river. It moved down slowly, ever so slowly until it landed on the wooden surface of her nightstand, leaving a little white stain. She opened her eyes to check if her efforts had been rewarded by success. She saw the candle flicker from the corner of her eye, but when she turned her head to look at it directly the flame stopped burning. Arnaya baled her slender hand to a fist and let it slump down on the cushions that lay on her bed. She had failed again.
The young witch had been spending the last hours with practicing the spell. It was very frustrating, because whenever she thought she would succeed, she discovered that she was not even remotely close to achieving her goal. She began to have the slight suspicion that somewhere there was a higher power that was watching her and amusing itself by playing little tricks on her every once in a while.
Arnaya decided that it was time for a break. She had a searing headache because of concentrating constantly and desperately needed a breath of fresh air. Her room wasn't guarded by any of the king's soldiers. She could explore her surroundings freely, at least to a certain extend. Gandalf had cast a spell on her so that she could move within the palace walls without hindrance, but not leave.
With huge energetic strides she paced down the long corridor, almost colliding with the person that just turned around the next corner. She let out a high pitched shriek and jumped back.
"Watch where you're going!" she hissed between clenched teeth. Arnaya was highly irritable, thanks to her fruitless efforts of lighting the candle, but she almost wished she could take back her harsh words when she discovered who the person was she had almost run into.
"Your mood seems even worse than the day we met," Legolas answered with an amused smile on his lips.
"Did your magic lesson with Gandalf not go well?" he asked her curiously.
"Don't even let me get started," she rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"I think even a three year old would do a better job than I. I practiced for hours, but couldn't even perform the simplest of all spells," Aranya said with a dejected look on her face.
"I do not know anything about magic, but I do know that every once in a while the mind needs a little distraction."
"You're right. You wouldn't by any chance know where the palace garden is?"
"I do and if you wish to I could accompany you there."
She nodded in response and they started to walk through the palace side by side.
"How are you feeling?" he asked after a while and true concern was ringing in his voice.
The young woman looked at him with surprise shining briefly in her eyes. She really hadn't thought that anybody was thinking and much less caring about how she was feeling. Arnaya at least owed him a sincere answer for his heartfelt concern.
"I don't know. Somewhere between angry, lost, guilty, frightened, desperate and confused," she had a sad smile on her face and her voice sounded soft and vulnerable and not at all like her.
Legolas stopped walking and lay a soothing hand on her shoulder. "I am sorry," he said with a sincere tone in his voice. "I do not know if that is any consolation to you, but those feeling never last. They will come to pass like everything in life does with time."
His kind words had struck a chord inside of her. Its soft tone rung through her body and penetrated the thick walls of defense she had built around herself.
"You shouldn't be so nice to me. I don't deserve it," she said. Her voice was shaky and barely above a whisper. The tension of the last days was finally getting to her. She was annoyed with herself for letting her feelings show so clearly, but she didn't have the strength to hold them back any longer. Arnaya bit down her lip and silently cursed herself for being so weak.
"Everybody who is sad deserves comfort," the elf answered softly.
The dam inside her broke and all she wanted to do was cry, but she wouldn't allow herself to show weakness in front of him. "Don't say another word!" she screamed at him, but her voice was not strong and intimidating as she had intended it to be, but filled with emotion and breaking.
She sucked in a shuddering breath and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself, but to know avail. It was too late. Her eyes filled with tears couldn't be held back any longer because they needed to fall, because they had to fall. Arnaya turned her back on him to hide her face. Maybe he would disappear and leave her alone like he should. Weakness was something disgusting and not to be tolerated.
"There is no shame in letting your emotions show."
"I..," she took a deep breath, "I won't cry. I won't! Not in front of you. "
"Those tears are nothing you have to hide. Let them fall freely. Maybe they will cleanse your soul."
A single tear trailed down her cheek. It was the first in many years. She had cried the last time when she was eight years old. Her mother had always said it was a sign of weakness and disgusting. So Arnaya had wiped away her tears and been strong. But now she couldn't be any longer. Her body shook with sobs and her knees got shaky because the emotions began to overwhelm her. Legolas couldn't stand idly by and watch her suffer. So he stepped up to her and gathered her in his arms without giving it a second thought. She was in pain and needed comfort and that was all the mattered right now.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi there! Hope you liked this. I will try to keep them chappies coming and update soon. Let me know what your thinking. Pretty please? :)
(to Musicgrl) Questions are never ever stupid!!! I really want Arnaya to be romantically involved with..let's say somebody *nudge nudge* But she is something like semi-evil and really confused it will take some time.