Son of Dread Episode 5: The Explosive Dragon Fist – If Goku Can't Do It, Who Can?
Last time, on Son of Dread; almost shit-all happened.
Okay, here's what happened.
Hey, didn't I kill you?
Yes, and I still have a halo that tastes like pretzels. Now what happened, was Penny the other narrator killed me and Piccolo announced his undying love for me. That's about it.
You left out the part where I killed half of the Sailor Scouts, and two-thirds of the guardian cats.
Actually, since Luna and Artemis hadn't gotten it on yet, you have killed all of the guardian cats.
Who cares? Let's just go to the story.
Piccolo: "Am I in today's episode?"
Well you are now!
I'm outta here. Instant Transmission!
Piccolo: "No! Come back! I love you!"
That's it Piccolo, if you don't piss off, I'm going to practise my Kamekameha technique on you! Now, to Son of Dread!
"C'mon, Zenith! I want to go on the rollercoaster!" Little Washu said.
"Shut the hell up, Little Washu!" Zenith yelled.
"I'm sorry, Zenith," she said, sidling closer to Zenith as they reached the main gates to the theme park.
To those of you who didn't realize it, Little Washu was flirting with Zenith.
"I was not!" Little Washu denied.
"Yes you were," said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon, who had a really annoying Agumon-like voice.
They reached the ticket boxes.
"Two tickets, please," said Zenith.
"I SORREE! I NO SPEAK ENGGLEESH VEREEE VELL!" yelled the ticket salesperson.
"ME WANT TO BUY THREE TICKETS!" Zenith bellowed.
"BEFOREE YOU SAY YOU BUY TOOO TICK-TICKETTSS!" the salesperson answered.
"How do you know? I thought you didn't speak English very well," Little Washu asked.
"Okay, I was lying. Three tickets it is," the salesperson replied.
Little Washu holds out her purse to pay, but Zenith stops her, all manly like.
"I'll pay," he said. "My treat."
I bet Little Washu thinks this is a date!
"I do not!"
By the way Zenith, you're paying for me too.
"Okay," said Zenith, who was loaded (NO he's NOT a drug addict).
"Aren't you meant to be dead?" asked Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.
… Shut-up! Why does everybody ask me that question! Isn't my halo obvious enough?
"Does it really taste like pretzels?" asked Little Washu.
I don't think I really need to answer that question.
Stop it! You should really be more polite to the characters I've cast in this story!
I haven't killed any of them yet! What're you complaining about? Return to your place as an inactive narrator!
Inactive? What about all the people I've killed?
…
???
Piccolo: "???"
GO AWAY, PICCOLO!
Piccolo: "…"
Piccolo walks off into the backdrop. Bet he didn't see that one coming!
That's gotta hurt! Almost makes me feel sorry for him. Almost.
Listen! Shut-up! The only reason we're here is to tell Little Washu, Zenith, Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon and Shi-… Dammit! Where's Shi-no?
Oh yeah. I saw the owner of this park, Mr Popo, sending out his evil minions Pikachu and Mocchi to capture Shi-no.
"How did you manage to see that if you were hiding out in the land of the dead-people, away from Piccolo?" asked Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.
Stop questioning me!
Listen up, the only reason we came here was to tell you guys that MR POPO is the big evil supreme pizza dude that you have to kill to end this episode. If you don't kill him and his mini-pizzas…
Pizza?
"Pizza?" asked Zenith. "I should really pay more attention to what Penny's saying."
"It really doesn't matter," said Little Washu. "If you've missed anything, you can read the script."
Can I borrow a copy of that? I kinda lost the last one… down the toilet…
Little Washu, Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon and Zenith pulled out their scripts. They offered them to Merlin.
I am going to have to confiscate these scripts from you.
Merlin grabbed all of the scripts and shoved them into her pants.
Those scripts are my property!
Do you want them back?
…
What about you characters?
"I'm not touching those," said Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.
Listen to me! You cannot finish this episode until Mr Popo and his evil mini-pizzas are dead!
Pizzas are inanimate objects. I don't think they can die.
But you can!
Nope. I'm already dead.
"Just tell us what you were originally going to," Little Washu said angrily.
Look out! It's Mr Popo's evil henchmonsters Pikachu and Mocchi!
"Pikachu!" yelled Pikachu. Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon stepped in to fight him. Pikachu won with a bodyslam attack.
Don't worry! I'll kill both of them with my Special Beam Cannon!
Piccolo: "Hey! That's my attack!"
Piss off, Piccolo!
I'll have to get rid of him instead. I'm going to take you to…
Piccolo: "The movies?"
I'm going to Instant Transmission you to the new planet Vegeta!
Merlin ran over to Piccolo.
Sorry, looks like I won't be able to kill those idiot monsters. Don't make anything out of this. Instant Transmission!
Merlin and Piccolo teleported off the set.
"I'm gonna kill you Mocchi!" said Little Washu.
"No you're not chi!" said Mocchi. "We have Shi-no as a hostage chi!"
Pikachu pulled out a heavily drugged Shi-no out from behind the ticket stands.
"Pika, pika, pikachu!" translated: "If you don't want your only good monster to die I suggest you give in!"
"Noooo!" screamed Zenith. "If only we had the script! Then we'd know what to do!"
"Bloody Merlin!" cursed Double-Chainsaw-achu-mon.
Don't worry! I'll save you!
"How do you intend to do that chi?" asked Mocchi.
With the Explosive Dragon Fist! If Goku can't do it, who can? Answer that, Pikachu!
"Pikaaaaachuuuuu!" yelled Pikachu (by the way, that was an 'anybody').
Die!!!!!!
And so that was the end of Pikachu and Mocchi.
And this episode.
Why don't you die?!