Buffy had been speeding to Angel. Heading to him and his hotel but she
never ended up there. Instead she had somehow ended up at his old mansion
in Sunnydale. She couldn't remember how but she stared out of the car
window at the looming building. Buffy opened the car door, stepped out and
slammed the door, piercing the silence. She walked slowly into the Mansion,
for the first time in years she felt small and insignificant.
She slowly knelt down on the floor by the fireplace. She stared into the floor, which still had the oh so faint bare Angel outline. From when he came back from another dimension, an evil horrible hell dimension. Near that spot on the floor she had left the claddagh ring he had given. He had come back from the hell dimension just as she was finally ready to try moving on. Of course she could never truly move on, how can a person forget their soul mate? When you're soul mates, you're eternally linked.
Angel watched from the doorway as Buffy tentatively traced his burnt outline on the floor with her finger. He also didn't know how or why he came to be at the mansion, his thoughts had been racing and he wasn't paying attention when he drove. He had been driving to Buffy's house when he ended up here instead. As Angel watched Buffy, she stopped tracing and slowly lifted her head up and met his gaze. She wasn't surprised to see him, just as he hadn't been surprised to see her.
Buffy blushed faintly in the dark shadowy mansion, then she realized there was no reason to be embarrassed. This was Angel, her Angel. His soulful brown eyes bore into her own light brown ones. She slowly stood up and smiled shyly.
"Angel." She said quietly, somehow through her frantic driving she had been expecting him to meet her.
"Buffy." Angel nodded slightly. He knew that whatever happened tonight, it was unstoppable, meant to be. It was part of fate.
"So now you know." She said in a voice stronger then she thought she had. Angel slowly nodded in his solemn way. Then just seconds later they were in each other's arms embracing, fast as lightning.
They held onto each other tightly, "I should have been there." He whispered into her hair. He was talking more to himself then Buffy. She pulled away from him so she could see his face.
"You didn't know." She said looking down at their feet. She didn't want to meet his gaze.
"But I did. I knew something was different the last time I saw you." Angel insisted. Buffy looked up at Angel, only mildly surprised.
"Isn't it amazing how everything can change in just a few seconds?" Buffy asked. Referring to dozens of events in her and Angel's lives. In seconds he had lost his soul and turned into the evil Angelus after they made love and he experienced true happiness. In seconds he regained his soul thanks to Willow's spell. But seconds too late, Angelus had woken the demon Acthla and opened a hell dimension. Buffy was forced to kill him, in seconds he was gone from her life. Seconds had turned back time, no how much she wanted to remember, the seconds stole her memory. All the seconds of the best day of her life, gone in an instant. When she was brought back from the dead, it was the seconds that gave back the lost day and left her empty. Hollow inside.
Seconds were no longer a time to Buffy and Angel. It was a living, breathing entity, which kept playing mind games with them. While that spun through Buffy's mind, Angel was mentally rereading her letter. Most vampires having amazing photographic memory and Angel was one of the best.
"You slept with Spike?" Angel asked, his voice seeped in hurt and pain. It wasn't a question, he already knew the answer. He just somehow hoped it would be denied, that it was untrue.
"Yes." Buffy said in a childish voice. He sometimes forgot she was so young. She usually seemed wise beyond her few years. "I don't even know why I wrote it. I wasn't thinking." Buffy didn't notice it but while she spoke she walked further and further away from Angel.
"I know why. You wanted to hurt me for hurting you." Angel stood still waiting Buffy's retreating figure.
"No." Buffy protested as she stopped walking. "That's not it. I just.. I used to tell you everything. We shared something really deep Angel. We stopped being able to talk. We started telling each other nothing. I used to be able to feel you. Even in L.A. in the beginning, I can't anymore. I can barely feel you now.
"There were so many times I wanted to tell you. Especially the days after. After time was turned back, I saw the pain in you. I was angry at myself for leaving you I couldn't bear to talk to you, so I left you again. Then months went by and you just seemed better off not knowing. With me dealing with all the pain of remembering. I stayed away, I thought it was for the best."
"Then I died." Buffy stated matter of factly.
"And then you died."Angel repeated, facing the horror of those words. He tried to stay as calm as Buffy seemed to be. He slowly walked over to her. "I was left behind. Without my soul mate. Somehow I was still here, still a part of this world. I didn't save you and I should have. I wasn't even there to try to protect you."
"You should have been. I thought of you." Buffy whispered.
"When I came back from Plyea I knew. As soon as I saw Willow, I could sense your absence in this world. I left for months, traveling the world. Trying to figure out how I could still be alive. I always thought that the moment you died, I would die too. But I didn't and I hated myself for it. For existing when I shouldn't, when I should have died years ago. For existing when you didn't and you should have." Angel blinked back tears.
"You existed for me." Buffy said softly. "You were still here so you could keep on doing good for me. So I could still be remembered, evil could still be fault. I died and the world kept spinning. Evil kept fighting, you kept fighting." Buffy raised an unsteady hand and placed it on Angel's cheek. "We exist for each other. When you died a part of you was still with me."
"You were still with me." Angel whispered back. Buffy melted into his arms and cried. Let herself be enveloped into his big strong arms, the only place she ever felt safe. They ended up in Angel's bed holding each other, letting all their sadness and love wash over them.
She slowly knelt down on the floor by the fireplace. She stared into the floor, which still had the oh so faint bare Angel outline. From when he came back from another dimension, an evil horrible hell dimension. Near that spot on the floor she had left the claddagh ring he had given. He had come back from the hell dimension just as she was finally ready to try moving on. Of course she could never truly move on, how can a person forget their soul mate? When you're soul mates, you're eternally linked.
Angel watched from the doorway as Buffy tentatively traced his burnt outline on the floor with her finger. He also didn't know how or why he came to be at the mansion, his thoughts had been racing and he wasn't paying attention when he drove. He had been driving to Buffy's house when he ended up here instead. As Angel watched Buffy, she stopped tracing and slowly lifted her head up and met his gaze. She wasn't surprised to see him, just as he hadn't been surprised to see her.
Buffy blushed faintly in the dark shadowy mansion, then she realized there was no reason to be embarrassed. This was Angel, her Angel. His soulful brown eyes bore into her own light brown ones. She slowly stood up and smiled shyly.
"Angel." She said quietly, somehow through her frantic driving she had been expecting him to meet her.
"Buffy." Angel nodded slightly. He knew that whatever happened tonight, it was unstoppable, meant to be. It was part of fate.
"So now you know." She said in a voice stronger then she thought she had. Angel slowly nodded in his solemn way. Then just seconds later they were in each other's arms embracing, fast as lightning.
They held onto each other tightly, "I should have been there." He whispered into her hair. He was talking more to himself then Buffy. She pulled away from him so she could see his face.
"You didn't know." She said looking down at their feet. She didn't want to meet his gaze.
"But I did. I knew something was different the last time I saw you." Angel insisted. Buffy looked up at Angel, only mildly surprised.
"Isn't it amazing how everything can change in just a few seconds?" Buffy asked. Referring to dozens of events in her and Angel's lives. In seconds he had lost his soul and turned into the evil Angelus after they made love and he experienced true happiness. In seconds he regained his soul thanks to Willow's spell. But seconds too late, Angelus had woken the demon Acthla and opened a hell dimension. Buffy was forced to kill him, in seconds he was gone from her life. Seconds had turned back time, no how much she wanted to remember, the seconds stole her memory. All the seconds of the best day of her life, gone in an instant. When she was brought back from the dead, it was the seconds that gave back the lost day and left her empty. Hollow inside.
Seconds were no longer a time to Buffy and Angel. It was a living, breathing entity, which kept playing mind games with them. While that spun through Buffy's mind, Angel was mentally rereading her letter. Most vampires having amazing photographic memory and Angel was one of the best.
"You slept with Spike?" Angel asked, his voice seeped in hurt and pain. It wasn't a question, he already knew the answer. He just somehow hoped it would be denied, that it was untrue.
"Yes." Buffy said in a childish voice. He sometimes forgot she was so young. She usually seemed wise beyond her few years. "I don't even know why I wrote it. I wasn't thinking." Buffy didn't notice it but while she spoke she walked further and further away from Angel.
"I know why. You wanted to hurt me for hurting you." Angel stood still waiting Buffy's retreating figure.
"No." Buffy protested as she stopped walking. "That's not it. I just.. I used to tell you everything. We shared something really deep Angel. We stopped being able to talk. We started telling each other nothing. I used to be able to feel you. Even in L.A. in the beginning, I can't anymore. I can barely feel you now.
"There were so many times I wanted to tell you. Especially the days after. After time was turned back, I saw the pain in you. I was angry at myself for leaving you I couldn't bear to talk to you, so I left you again. Then months went by and you just seemed better off not knowing. With me dealing with all the pain of remembering. I stayed away, I thought it was for the best."
"Then I died." Buffy stated matter of factly.
"And then you died."Angel repeated, facing the horror of those words. He tried to stay as calm as Buffy seemed to be. He slowly walked over to her. "I was left behind. Without my soul mate. Somehow I was still here, still a part of this world. I didn't save you and I should have. I wasn't even there to try to protect you."
"You should have been. I thought of you." Buffy whispered.
"When I came back from Plyea I knew. As soon as I saw Willow, I could sense your absence in this world. I left for months, traveling the world. Trying to figure out how I could still be alive. I always thought that the moment you died, I would die too. But I didn't and I hated myself for it. For existing when I shouldn't, when I should have died years ago. For existing when you didn't and you should have." Angel blinked back tears.
"You existed for me." Buffy said softly. "You were still here so you could keep on doing good for me. So I could still be remembered, evil could still be fault. I died and the world kept spinning. Evil kept fighting, you kept fighting." Buffy raised an unsteady hand and placed it on Angel's cheek. "We exist for each other. When you died a part of you was still with me."
"You were still with me." Angel whispered back. Buffy melted into his arms and cried. Let herself be enveloped into his big strong arms, the only place she ever felt safe. They ended up in Angel's bed holding each other, letting all their sadness and love wash over them.