Demented Flower
By: Mystcgrl99
Disclaimer: No, I don't own the rights to Labyrinth, though I wouldn't mind owning a dress like Sarah's ball gown…
A/N: Written at Forensics (Competitive Theatre) camp. Need more be said?
Walking along one day, I saw a flower. Pretty little thing, nothing unusual about it. But then as I was looking at it, it looked back! Other than black eyed Susans, I didn't know flowers had eyes. So you can understand how disturbed I was when this particular flower opened it's eyes and stared back at me. Let's just say I freaked out. Basically, I tore the flower from the ground and started stomping on it. Then, from the hole in the ground made by the roots, there arose a stench so great, so vile, well, I lost my breakfast. And then the ground all around me deteriorated and I plummeted to who knows what. Just before I hit the source of the smell I grabbed a branch and pulled myself away. Before I could gather my wits, I lost consciousness.
When I came to I took in my surroundings. I found myself in the worst area possible. Five feet above the Bog of Eternal Stench. Damn. I really should stop putting hair dye in Jareth's shampoo. He always finds ways of getting even. I don't think I've ever known someone with such a temper. Well, aside from my mother at least. It really is fun to piss Jareth off though.
Back to the problem at hand, err, nose. HOW THE HELL DO I GET OUT OF THIS TREE?!!!
"Jareth!!! Get your sorry, spandex-clad ass out here and save me!"
"Must you always make fun of my clothes?"
"Will you ever wear a pair of jeans?"
"No."
"Then yes, I must. Now, be a dear and help me out of the tree."
"Why should I? It took me TWO WEEKS to get my hair back to normal, and I really don't like having hot pink hair! The goblins laughed at me."
"First, since when has your hair ever been normal? Second, because I'm a perfect little angel and oh so cute."
"Love the horns."
"They're only there to hold up the halo. Please help me down. I promise not to put hair dye in your shampoo anymore."
"Very well then."
With that Jareth produced a crystal and threw it at me. I knew learning to flirt and bat my lashes would pay off. Next I know I'm sitting in Jareth's lap in the throne room. Hmmm, not what I expected.
"You did this on purpose, didn't you?"
"Yes. There's a reason I wear tights you know."
"No, no, no, no, no, NO!! Bad mental image. *shudders* Jareth, you're pure evil, you know that?"
"And still you haven't moved from my lap."
"That's because you have both arms around my waist holding me here. If you don't let me go I'm going to wish you away!"
"Jordan, you do realize that that would be most ineffectual, seeing as I'm the Goblin King and you can't wish me away!"
"Yes, I can. I wish Santa Clause would come and take you away. Right now!"
"Santa Clause? Jordan, why the hell wou-" *poof*
"Wah! Ouch, my butt hurts. Jareth so needs to get cushions for his throne. I'm really glad I taught Mrs. Clause that recipe for peanut butter cookies. Having Santa in debt to you can be a good thing. Now let's see what havoc I can wreak."
Searching through my purse, I find some blue hair dye. I know what you're thinking. Yes, I promised I wouldn't put dye in his shampoo anymore, but I never said anything about his body wash! Jareth, the smurf Goblin King! Wow, I'm evil. *maniacal laughter*