Son of Dread Series 3, Episode 3 – The Skank Hunter
We tried to get another name for this episode, we really did, but this name just wouldn't go away.
We join our heroes on their way to Pallet Town. Wait a minute…
Wait a minute; I'm blind! They must have booby-trapped their sun somehow.
Why are we repeating plot? (Plot that wasn't good the first time, might I add…)
Because everybody loves Pallet Town!
No they don't.
Bojack: Sure they do.
Bojack?! What're you doing here?
Bojack: Penny, you need two narrators to run a series.
Yeah, me and the event narrator.
Bojack: Okay, let me rephrase that. The event narrator doesn't count.
I can count!
Bojack: But you don't.
Oh, okay.
Well then… where's Zero?
Bojack: (makes that 'I dunno' sound that cannot be classified as a word)
Okay. Let's um, start the plot.
Bojack: Okay, you guys never found Zenith's glasses. Let's do that.
I'm sure we did!
Bojack: Well you must've forgotten to write it down.
It's KFC to the max!
"So do you have any idea where they might be?" asked Little Washu.
"Yeah, down a little… no further…"
"OKAY you two! Cut it out! We're going to find Zenith's glasses… again," said Shi-no, who hadn't spoken in a while.
"Well, the last time a saw them I was deep in the heart of skank territory, when I took my glasses off to see something and I was rushed by one thousand small assed skanks."
"So…Skanks stole your manhood…I mean glasses?" said Little Washu.
"Well, there is only one man that can help us." Said Shi-no.
"HI, I'm Jerry Springer and welcome to tonight's episode titled 'so you're kissing you neighbour's dog's cat's mothers…" Jerry continued to speak but everyone jumped off a cliff.
"I meant Steve Irwin," said Shi-no as he was free falling.
This falling thing will save us a blank of money. It saves on the backdrops.
"Um, Well let's send him a letter and join him on screen."
Steve walked slowly through the heart of Skank territory and as he snuck up on a herd of Skanks he turned and talked to the camera that was sending a live feed to the Free Fallers.
"Here I am, deep in the heart of Skank territory, trying to find…Crikey mate! Look at the tits on that one!" Steve yelled looking at a Skank. "Now I'm gonna stick my thumb up it's ass to make it really pissed off!"
Steve moved closer and shoved his thumb right up that Skanks Butt. Unfortunately the Skank liked it so she clenched her cheeks and Steve was stuck.
"Damn, there goes my plan," muttered Shi-no. "Looks like we have to go in there ourselves."
"No! The funding, think of the funding! Won't somebody think of the funding?!" screamed an off-stage voice.
Zenith coughed up some shrapnel.
"Now I can use this shrapnel to… to… send a letter to She-man in China begging for help!!" said Laggy-Lump-of-Flesh-mon.
But She-man can't help us, she's training to be a Shaolin warrior monk.
"Fine. We'll phone Camela," he said.
On the phone to CPamela…
"Hi, is Camela there?"
"No, but Pamela is. I'll get her for you."
Shi-no held the phone away from his head. "Heh heh heh, I got to talk to Camela's mother."
"Hello?"
"Hey Camela! Whassup?!!"
"Who the hell is this?!"
"It's Shi-no!"
"But you don't exist! You're just some odd delusion of Penny and Zero! And by the way my name is Pamela."
"Okedokey. Whatever you say, man. Well, will you give us a hand?"
"Whatcha doing?"
"Skank-bashing."
"Sounds like fun… but you have to do something for me."
"If this has anything to do with Zenith…"
"Stop calling me Camela! And stop paying out He-Man, She-Ra, and all of those really cool old cartoons!!!"
"Um, Penny! Come talk to Camel… I mean Pamela!!!"
"Hey Camela! Whassup?!!"
"Penny, stop calling me that…"
So after that phone call, we said we'd make one episode of Son of Dread where we didn't piss off Camela… But it wouldn't be this one.
So Pamela and Penny and the Son of Dread characters ran into skank territory, with really big sticks and rocks.
"It's skank-bashing time!" Was their warcry.
"Mwhahahahahaha!" yelled Cloud, "Penny will be stuck in my past forever. She keeps on dying before she can save. Mwhahahahahahah…and so on…"
"So," said Zenith, "Are we about to find my glasses?"
"No," said Little Washu, "We intend to keep this as a back up plot. So if the narrators can't think of anything then they can use this…"
Damn cloud and his Damn past…
Delayed reaction Penny…
A-HA, I'M TYPING AND NO ONE CAN EWVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME…
How do you pronounce Ewver…?
Don't ask me, I'm just a girl………
I thought you were a man…or something along those lines…
I'm JUST GENDER coNfuSed…
And Caps confused…
"Ummm," said Little wASHU, "Whats with the dots…?"
"What Dots…?" said Zenith…
"Those dots…oh no…a …box…?" Said Duccio, like a demented owl.
"Look," said Shi-no, "All I'm saying is, if Harry Potter is the spawn of the devil, then Harry's son would be the spawn of the spawn of the devil…"
"Hey," said Little Washu, "Aren't we in Skank territory…"
"God…She's right." Screamed Zenith, "And they're closing in…"
The Skanks had silently started to surround the group, as they had been talking about things so intelligent the Skanks had to change the topic fast before they started to doubt themselves.
"What are we to do, I need to poo…" said Duccio.
"That's it!" said the Laggy one whose name I could not be bothered to type, "Duccio, I hope you really do need to poo…"
ten minutes later the Skanks had finally got what they deserved. And the smell was nothing new to them.
I'd better take over from Penny, since nobody can understand her bloody ranting.
I'll rant you!
Ignore her.
Noahahaohooaho!!
She didn't know whether to say 'no' or 'nah'.
I'll nah you!
The Son of Dread characters all ignored Penny, because Penny sucks.
And I'm waaaay too lazy to write Son of Dread, so I'm going… And now I'm back.
But it's a bit late, since this is the end of the episode.
Bah.