Chapter Four
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The next morning Darien had already left for work and the five scouts were spread out in the living room in various positions. When they had first arrived, Serena had received a big hug from both Mina and Raye, along with assurances that they didn't hate her. Soon though there had been a fight started between her and Raye. This time though, unlike normal, both Lita and Amy had come to Serena's defense. Raye had shut up, obviously sensing that there was more going on then her and Mina had already learned.
With a large breath and a look at Lita and Amy for courage, she had once again related her story. Once again, she felt everything just as she had when it had first happened. Though this time the emotions were dulled somewhat, probably because this time she was more readily able to convince herself that it wasn't happening again. It was now only a story.
Like before, there was a silence when she was done. This time though she didn't bolt. She stayed seated to hear what they had to say. Both of them were furious. Mina was the first to calm down and she wrapped her arms around Serena and shed the tears that Serena found she just didn't have in her this time. Raye was a different story.
Lita was the first to react when Raye pulled out her henshin stick. Grabbing it from Raye's fingers Lita yelled, "That is not going to solve anything! I wanted to do the exact same thing yesterday but I least I showed some control!"
That managed to hold Raye in the apartment. It couldn't hold her still, she paced the length of the apartment, trying to calm herself but fuming with rage all the same.
"Are you going to be okay?" Mina asked, concern showing in her big blue eyes.
"No," Serena answered truthfully. "I don't think I'll ever trust anyone, and especially a man, quite so much ever again. I am still so scared that if I leave here, he is going to find me. If he does he is going to be so awfully mad."
Oddly enough with Mina kneeling in front of her, Amy and Lita occupying the couch on either side of her and Raye pacing like a caged panther, she did feel slightly safer than before. There was just one thing missing. She almost grasped what it was but before she could, Raye spoke and the thought was gone.
"We should go to the police," Raye demanded. "If we can't go after him as scouts, the police would be the next best thing." She was actually already going for the phone when a fierce grip on her arm stopped her.
Serena held Raye's arm as tightly and firmly as she could. "You can't involve the police. If he found out... If he knew I had turned him in it would only make him madder. He would kill me." This last she added in a whisper but it held as much conviction as the rest. She pleaded with her eyes. Praying that just this once Raye would listen to her.
"Oh Meatball Head," Raye sighed, her anger drained when faced by such fear. Disengaging her arm from Serena's grip, she hugged her leader. This once she wouldn't hide her own feelings. If Serena could be so open with hers then she could at least let the other scouts know what was under her anger.
Serena returned her friend's hug, grateful that for this moment at least Raye had lowered her walls. The two of them returned to the couch where all five girls settled down to watch movies and gossip. Anything to keep Serena's mind occupied.
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Darien lounged on the couch. He was content for now. Work at the hospital had been easier today and he had made it home on time. Then Serena's friends had stayed for supper, in fact, it was a couple hours after supper and they had only just left. Now it was just him and Serena. There was only one thing that was bothering him. Though all the girls now knew what had happened to Serena, she still had not told him. Sighing he turned his gaze away from the television to where she sat on the floor, running a brush, his brush, through her hair. He might as well wish for the moon, he was probably more likely to get that then get her to confide in him.
He totally forgot about the show as he watched Serena brush her hair. Seeing her hands running through after the brush reminded him of the night before. As he had watched her sleep, he had fought the urge to run his own hands through her hair. He was feeling the same urge but, shall we say, a little more acutely. Abruptly he stood and turned off the television. "You weren't watching that were you?" She shook her head in the negative. "Okay," he plopped back down on the couch, "Let's talk."
"Talk?" Serena squeaked, dropping the brush, "About what?"
Darien shrugged. "How about you. I know absolutely nothing about you except that you like Sailor V games, food, and, at one time, had a crush on Andrew."
When she picked the brush up, he could see her try and hide her blush behind her hair. "That was a long time ago," she insisted.
Darien felt a wave of relief. Since he had recognized how he felt about Serena, he didn't have to wonder why. "So, tell me something I don't know."
"Like what?"
"Anything."
Darien could tell she was thinking because her brushing suddenly became more like a reflex when she took her concentration off it. "Well, I live with my parents and my younger brother, Sammy. My parents are in America now and Sammy is staying at a friends. I don't think he even knows I am not at Lita's place. My best friend's in the whole world are the Lita, Amy, Raye and Mina. Though they are more than friends, they're…" She stopped talking and suddenly appeared rather distressed about something.
"They're what?" Darien encouraged, worried by her abrupt silence.
"They're... they're...." Serena stumbled over the words, "They're like sisters to me." Darien leaned back on the couch. He knew that was not what she had originally planned to say and now it seemed like she was disinclined to say anything else.
"It's getting late. We should probably get some sleep." He did not miss her look of relief and he couldn't help but feel a little hurt by it. To him it was so clear that she was still tense around him, despite the fact that she was almost normal around her friends. If maybe a little quieter. He responded to her when she said goodnight then he once again retreated to the balcony. Knowing it would be awhile before he would be able to fall asleep.
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Serena lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, silently yelling at herself. She couldn't believe she had almost told him about the scouts, about her being Sailor Moon. It's not as if he would have believed her anyway, he probably didn't even believe the scouts actually existed. Still, she had almost told him. He knew she hadn't said what she intended, the look on his face had told her that. Still, before that almost slip, she had been having a good time. Why Darien wanted to know about her she had no idea but it had felt good to talk to someone who actually listened. Not like Aaron. She grimaced into the dark at the thought of him but forced herself to continue along that line of thought. She had learned one thing while telling her story over. The more she made it sound like a story the easier it was to handle.
Looking back, she remembered all the times she had tried talking to Aaron about herself. Now that she was actually thinking about it, she realized that he had never been interested. Not like Darien had been interested earlier. Aaron had always found a way to take what she was saying and apply it to his own life. Soon her story would be forgotten and he would be talking about himself. If she ever tried to bring the topic around to herself, or even just make a comment, he would ask if she ever shut up and let someone else talk. Thinking about it now, she had to smile at the shock look that would have appeared on his face if she had said the same thing to him. The smile was quick to disappear though, because she knew that once the shock had worn off, he would have been angry.
Another thing that had surprised Serena, besides Darien's interest, had been her own. She had fully intended on asking him the same questions he had asked her. On top of that, she had felt relaxed, as if she could trust him with all her secrets. She drifted off to sleep wondering when the arrogant jerk she had known had turned into the Darien she was staying with now.
It was just slightly after noon the next day. The girls were due to arrive in a short while so now it was just Serena and Darien. For once, Serena wasn't thinking about Aaron and was instead truly enjoying herself. Over the past few hours, she had told Darien her favorite color was pink, she loved rabbits, that her birthday was June 30. He had wished her a happy belated birthday. He also now knew that despite how bad she was at it, her favorite class was home economics, mostly because the best teacher taught the class. Now he also knew that she had always thought he was an arrogant, pigheaded jerk. Well, okay, he had always known that but she had to tell him again when he started teasing her about being a klutz. The cause of this particular argument had been her practically falling out of her chair when she tried to sit down. Darien had commented that he was amazed she hadn't started wailing. They had both ended the argument laughing though.
In turn, Serena had learned some new things about Darien. She now knew he was single, and barely ever dated. Strangely, she felt a subtle relief hearing that, but she pushed it away. She found out that his birthday was actually today, August 3. Upon hearing that she had insisted that they bake a cake and had turned the day into an impromptu party. The cake was already half gone; Darien had insisted she eat more than one piece because it was a special occasion. She had reluctantly agreed, then the two pieces had turned into three and she hadn't felt bad about it. Serena had also learned that his favorite color was black, which had led to a heated discussion on whether black was actually a color. Darien also like to read and enjoyed Physics.
"Ugh," Serena commented, "You'd get along with Amy well enough then." She made a face and was pleased when Darien laughed.
"It's not that bad," Darien insisted.
Before Serena could prove to him just how bad it really was the phone rang. All the tension returned and she crouched on the floor, where she had been laying, watching Darien as he got up to answer it. She released a sigh of relief when he said it was one of the girls for her. Getting up she skipped over to the kitchen and, taking the phone from him, plopped down on one of the stools. "Hello?"
"Serena, this is Mercury." The voice on the other end was urgent.
"Mer…" Serena stopped herself and glanced over at Darien. He did not appear to have noticed her slip. "Amy, what's happening?"
"We need your help, Serena. And we would have appreciated you having your communicator with you."
"I'm sorry Ames. I just couldn't.... I stopped carrying it."
"Obviously," Mercury sounded a bit annoyed. "Are you coming?"
Serena was silent for a moment. After what happened last time, she was not sure she could handle it. Nevertheless, the scouts did need her, and as Luna would say, it was her responsibility to be there. "I'm sorry Ames, I just... I can't." Before Mercury could say anything else, Serena hung up the phone.
"Is everything all right?" Darien asked.
"Sure, everything is fine. They just won't be able to make it like planned." Even to her own ears, she sounded more than a little distracted. Abruptly she stood and started to pace. Hopefully the movement would calm some of her worry.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Darien get up and approach her. She stopped to look at him until he stopped only a step away. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," she said immediately. A moment later she amended, "No. Nothing is right." Burying her face in her hands she whispered, "I can't do anything right."
She felt a soft touch on her arm and though she jerked away, he did not remove his hand. Serena let him lead her to the couch, where she sat down. Then he sat on the other end. The emotions that warred within her were ones she couldn't explain. She was relieved that he understood her aversion to touch but disappointed that he now seemed so far away.
His voice was quiet when he spoke, "Sometimes it helps to talk about what is bothering you. It makes the problem seemed less harsh."
Serena couldn't argue with that. She had experienced it first hand these past few days. "I wish I could talk to you, to anyone, about this... this other fear. But I can't, no one else but the girls can know, and they don't understand."
"What about the fear that has you too scared to leave my apartment? Can you talk about that?" His voice was persuading and Serena almost did tell him. But she didn't know how he would react. The girls are, well, girls and they are her friends. Darien though, she did not know him and since he was a guy, he would probably say it had been her fault. That she had deserved it.
"No," she whispered, her worry draining her, "I can't tell you that either." Even she could tell she had hurt him with this admission and she was quick to apologize. "I'm sorry Darien. Sorry that I can't tell you what you want to know, and sorry that I wreaked your birthday."
Surprisingly, Darien chuckled. "Trust me Serena," he said, "Just not being alone has made this the best birthday I've had in a long time."
There was a long silence while Serena worked up the courage, and a way to talk to him without giving away her secret. Finally she asked, "Have you ever... wanted to help a friend... but knew deep down that... whatever you did would make things worse... and this made you to afraid to help in the first place? Even though your friend would be happy and things would get better for a little while."
She watched his face as he thought about her question. Serena could tell he was trying to figure out exactly why she had asked, as well as thinking about how to answer her. When he spoke, he spoke each word slowly, making sure he knew exactly what it was he wanted to say. "I don't think that I have ever been in the kind of situation you have just described. There is this group of... friends that always seem to be getting themselves in trouble, though. I always end up help them. I don't know why, since I know they could probably fix things on their own and later there will be the same problem all over again. I help because I feel I have to, I guess, not worrying about the right and wrong of it."
Serena thought about his answer for a long time. Though he hadn't really answered her about the being afraid part she figured she could apply what he said to her own situation. That was why she had fought with the scouts in the past. Not because Luna had told her to, or because Raye yelled at her when she didn't. She fought with the scouts because she felt she had to, felt that she couldn't just sit by and watch, but had to help to make sure no one got hurt.
"Did that help?" Darien interrupted her train of thought.
Smiling a small but heart felt smile at him she nodded. "You'll never know how much."
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From that moment on, she had relaxed visibly. Though, until her friend called back she hadn't relaxed completely. After though, she had seemed like the old Serena, at least to Darien she had. That attitude had continued for the past two days. Yesterday her friends had shown up and she had convinced him, and them, that they needed to have a real birthday party for him. With, of course, more cake. They spent the whole day eating cake and whatever other food Lita could whip up, playing games, and watching movies. He would have been completely happy to sit and watch the girls but Serena had insisted he join in, it was, after all, his party. She had dragged him from his stool with words and looks, not once touching him. In fact, that was the only thing that still troubled him, she still did not trust him enough to come anywhere close to physical contact with him, even just by accident.
Today had been calmer though. Only Mina had shown up, the others already had plans. They had spent the whole day in his room gossiping. While he sat on the couch, reading and wondering what they were talking about. His curiosity was piqued by the occasionally giggles, 'no way's, and 'you have to be kidding's that were loud enough to reach him. They had only come out of there twice, for lunch and then supper. Just after supper, Mina had insisted it was time she left. He had seen her wink at Serena before walking out the door, and it was a look he was sure neither of them realized he had witnessed.
Now he was once again lounging on the couch, watching Serena where she sat on the floor, brushing her hair. It had become a habit for them, he guessed. In the evening, they were always sitting just like this. Him pretending to watch television and her pretending not to notice he was watching her. Darien was sure that she knew he watched her, because occasionally he would see her glance in his direction, blush slightly, at least now, and then go back to brushing her hair. At first she had shivered when she noticed he was looking at her but slowly the shivering had become blushing and he could only hope that meant she was no longer so against having him near.
Just as he suspected she would she glanced over at him again. Only this time she did not look away. Instead, she said shyly, "I was wondering, would you like to... that is... do you want to…" She could not get the rest of her question out it seemed so she simply held the brush out to him.
Darien almost jumped to take the brush before she could change her mind. He managed to go slow though, not wanting to scare her in any way. Carefully he settled on the couch behind her. With a gentle hand, he urged her back a bit. He held his breath as she decided and let it out when she hesitant obeyed, moving back until she was just in front of his knees. Slowly Darien reached out with the brush, still not sure if she meant her offer. Then he was brushing her hair and finally able to run his hands through it. Her hair felt like silk and he thoroughly enjoyed the feel of his hands running through its length. Surprisingly, he felt himself start to relax as well as sensing that she was too. He forgot completely about the show as he concentrated on the girl sitting in front of him.
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Mina had been right; the feel of someone else doing her hair was heavenly. Serena let her head roll forward so that her chin was resting on her collarbone. When that started to hurt, she pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her forehead on her knees, careful of her eye, though the bruise was almost completely gone. All of today her and Mina had some interesting conversations, though mostly about why she should not be afraid of men or of being a sailor scout. She had agreed with the latter but she didn't think she would ever get over her fear of men. When she had told Mina just that, the other blond had said, "Well, you're not scared to be staying here with Darien are you?" Serena had to answer truthfully that no, she wasn't. To which Mina had replied, "Do you think that may mean something?" When Serena had looked at her doubtfully, Mina had a ready reply, "I am the scout of love. I would think I'd know what I'm talking about."
Serena had not been able to think of a come back to that then and she couldn't now. Besides, Mina had gotten her to thinking. It was true, even that first night Darien had found her she hadn't been scared of him, not really. He hadn't once been his normal arrogant self in the whole time she had been here. In fact, he had been the exact opposite and if she did not know better she would think she was falling for him.
Shaking her head to clear away that thought she leaned into the brush. Totally and completely enjoying herself. Every once in awhile she would feel a brief tugging but overall Darien was being much gentler than she usually was. Allowing her thoughts to wander she must have dozed off. The next thing she knew Darien was shaking her gently, urging her to wake up. Smiling sleepily at him she reached up and found that her hair was braided its whole length, making a golden rope that reached to her ankles. "Thank you," she managed to say before she yawned.
She must have started a chain reaction because then Darien yawned. Giggling she took the hand he offered and pulled herself to her feet.
"Good night Serena." She heard softly behind her.
Turning back she replied and added, "Sweet dreams."
The saying must have applied to herself as well because for the first time since Aaron raped her she did not have a single nightmare.