Started on January 7, 2002
Completed on January 19, 2002
Such nice reviews, Kitsune's all floaty... Eh, need sleep. So here I bestow upon you part 2 for everyone who asked for it.
Zero POV
Dark and Light - Part 2
By Silver Kitsune
I felt the tranquillity of the scene wash over me as I sat under the large tree, a breeze playing with the hairs on the back of my neck.
"Zero."
She just kind of stood there, her hair twirling around her elegant frame. Her eyes slowly drifted towards mine, reaching out to my very soul.
"Zero."
But now her voice was changing. Instead of sounding gentle and comforting, she sounded almost angry.
Her eyes started to flicker, becoming cold and hard.
I stumbled to my feet, backing away. This wasn't supposed to happen...
She took a threatening step toward me, eyes boring into me.
I shivered as the breeze became a cold wind and the sun dipped behind the black clouds.
"Zero."
The word struck me like daggers. I took another step backwards, only to find my back knocking against the tree. I let my eyes venture up to meet hers again, then froze.
Her eyes burned with fury that I could only associate with one person...
She reached out her hand and wrapped her slim fingers around my neck, her eyes never leaving mine.
"Why?" I demanded softly with what little breath I had left.
And suddenly it wasn't the girl in my dreams but Hiead who was squeezing at my throat.
"Because I hate you."
* * * * *
I awoke with a start. My entire body was sheened in sweat, causing me to shiver. I pulled my blanket up closer around me, nestling into its warmth.
My eyes drifted over to the bed next to mine where Clay was slumbering peacefully, his soft snoring the only sound filling the room. My eyes now wandered over to Hiead's bed, which I found to be empty.
I quickly located the missing occupant. He was sitting in a small chair that had been tucked away the corner of the room, his knees pulled up to his chest. He stared vacantly into space, looking completely... lost.
I tried to look away but failed. When he looked vulnerable like that... I knew that he was human. It was a small comfort in the daily hell that he subjected me to.
He quickly caught my staring eyes and glared at me. He was never overly pleasant in the morning.
Scratch that, he was never pleasant.
I sat up and stretched, attempting to ignore his glaring eyes. The same eyes from my dream... God, he was even haunting me when I slept.
"You're up early," I commented with a yawn, a quick glance at the clock telling me that it was only 5:30.
"It's the only time this room is quiet," he commented, giving his own body a quick stretch.
It was kinda nice how his shirt rode up as he stretched, showing off his nice, smooth abs... Christ, I sound like a drooling schoolgirl. Stupid Zero. Hate Hiead. Evil. Gr.
The room fell quiet again, the steady cadence of Clay's snoring adding a rhythm to the silence. I closed my eyes, feeling my breathing begin to steady.
"I could kill you, you know...."
My eyes flew open. Hiead was now leaning over my bed, his eyes boring into me. I shivered as I remembered my dream. Those same eyes... so cold, so angry.
"I..." I fumbled to find words. I finally settled for confusion. "What?"
Hiead leaned in closer to me. "I could kill you..." he repeated. "I could touch you, I could hurt you, I could kiss you. I could do anything. Because *I'm* in control."
I pushed myself into a sitting position, trying to avoid his intense gaze. "What're you rambling about so early in the morning?" I murmured, shoving my bangs out of my eyes.
"You know what I'm talking about," he hissed, slamming me back against the headboard.
I flinched as my head knocked against the wall.
"You're powerless, you're nothing! I'm in control, not you!"
I saw his right wrist trembling from the strain of use. I carefully reached out and pulled it off of my shoulder, holding the bandaged wrist in my hand. "You shouldn't be using this."
He pressed me closer to the wall with his good hand. "Don't presume to tell me what to do."
I frowned at him, trying to show more annoyance than the rampant fear running through my body.
It washes over him all of the sudden. For no reason, he just turns on me, gets angry with me. Of course, there are times when he is well provoked, but that's a different sort of anger. He's actually happy to be angry when that happens. I see it in his eyes, how much he likes to fight me, to experience pain and to inflict it. I find that scary in a completely different way from the anger he's currently emanating.
I usually can't see it coming. One minute we're talking, the next he'll be jumping down my throat. It's not so much that he's angry with something I've done- it's more like he's angry with me for... who I am...
Ever since our first meeting, he's hated me, hated everything about me. We're two people who are so different, yet so the same. Sometimes I wonder if he wishes he was more like me...
But really, who am I to examine the psyche of Hiead Gner?
Hiead Gner who was currently pinning me against a wall and looked as though he wished for my blood to be splattered across the pristine white surface.
"Ne, Hiead, Instructor might be kinda pissed if you killed me before our pro-ing warm-ups today, uneven numbers and all. How about we put this off until tomorrow?"
Hiead blinked. Then he laughed softly and gave me a good shove into the wall as he got up.
I slumped against the headboard with relief. I was never quite sure how he was going to react to what I say. Sometimes he laughs, sometimes he gets even more pissed. Luck of the draw.
With his anger back down to a normal level, Hiead now trekked across the room as though nothing had happened. He gathered up his clothes, heading off for the shower.
Mm. Hiead. Shower. Dirty thoughts.
AGH. How can I be so infatuated with someone who was about ready to kill me five seconds ago? He's such an asshole, arrogant too. We're always fighting and he's always angry with me or smirking at me or acting all superior and he's rude and he's cruel and he has stupid hair and I hate him and I need him and I care about him, maybe even love him... Why me?
Sulkingly, I pulled the covers over my head.
It had been a week since my little midnight rendezvous with Hiead. Okay, so it wasn't really midnight. More like a mid-afternoon rendezvous. Only without the rendezvous part. Because it was more of a mutual kicking of the ass followed by some lusty making out and some utter confusion. So there wasn't really any midnight or any rendezvous, just lots and lots of confusion.
But then again, who am I to analyze the events that take place in my life? After all, I only live them.
I don't even think I can begin to understand what happened that day. I let my emotions get the better of me, and for that I'm kicking myself. I got so sick of fighting with Hiead that I actually conceded to him. I just couldn't take it anymore, it hurt too much. I think it was that sign of vulnerability that might have opened up the gates for what followed.
When Hiead kissed me... God, I didn't know what to think. In a lot of ways, it just really hurt, more than any physical pain he could ever inflict on me. I knew it wasn't real. Deep down, I knew he wasn't doing it because he cares about me. It's all just a game to him, something to keep him amused.
Then I confessed my feelings toward him. I'm so stupid. He's right, he does have the power now. He knows how I feel, and I'm sure he'll exploit it every chance he gets. Of course, I wasn't thinking about that when I said it. Maybe I was just hoping that if I said something, he might say something, too. I knew he was playing with me, yet I couldn't push down that glimmer of a hope. Why oh why oh why am I so stupid?
I think things have only gotten worse since then.
Hiead's mood swings toward me have gotten even more violent. One minute he'll be all over me, the next he'll be screaming threats at me. We haven't gotten into a physical fight since then, per se, though Hiead often finds the need to punctuate all points he makes with some sort of random act of violence toward me. Like shoving me against a headboard and slamming my head into the wall.
He's also gotten rather pissed at me about making him go to the infirmary. After Dr. Rill performed her examination, she thought it best to have him stay out of training activities for a few days. This apparently led to a rather big fight between the two. It ended with Hiead getting a flexible cast slapped on his wrist and a sentence of two weeks without training activities. All the while, Hiead insisted that his wrist was fine and that it could heal on its own. He is utterly impossible.
Something nudging me drudged me back into reality.
"Zero-kun, it's time for breakfast."
I peeked out over my blankets to find Clay anxiously hovering over my bed.
"If you don't hurry, we're going to be late."
"Who cares?" I muttered, sitting up. I turned an accusing stare towards his direction. "You ruined my introspection."
Clay raised an eyebrow.
"What, like it's not possible that I could be lost in serious thought?"
Clay raised his eyebrow again.
I glared at him in annoyance. "Why does everyone always assume that I'm some stupid airhead?" I snapped, shoving him out of the way as I got up.
He stumbled backwards a bit, looking up at me in surprise.
"I wasn't just placed here for everyone's amusement, you know! Contrary to popular belief, I am a living and breathing human being with thoughts and feelings, not that anyone really cares..." I felt about ready to cry. God, he was getting to me when he wasn't even here.
Clay blinked. "Zero..." He started to reach out towards me.
"Just leave me alone," I snarled, shoving his hand away and storming out of the room.
I wasn't even going to think about who I was acting like. I'd rather just boil in my rage and pretend that I'm mad at Clay. Because thinking about why I'm really angry hurts too much.
I love him, I hate him.
Why can't he just leave me alone?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Tada.
This kind of took me a while to write... It was going along fine until I started trying to complicate things by coming up with a plot. Silly me. I quickly gave up on that endeavor and returned to writing the first things that popped into my head. So if this story seems to have no direction, um, blame Newt Gingrich and my Hello Kitty calendar.
Questions? Comments? Criticisms? Send them in my direction: reviews & e-mail are always greatly appreciated.