I know. I know. I need to update a lot of my other fics, but this happens to be the one I have inspiration for…so…yeah…And I didn't choose Hurt or Fine Again, because I found an even more fitting song. It's called Even Deeper, by Nine Inch Nails. They own it, not meh. Oh and the person who suggested using Broken by Seether, I too love that song, but it doesn't fit the ending I have planned out, however the last chap will be a Seether song, the song Pig, if you know the song..it may hint the ending *wink wink*…Pan's POV…

Even Deeper

I woke up today
to find myself in the other place
with a trail of footprints
from where I ran away

I woke up today, but I wasn't here, I was in hell, that's right hell. The other place, the only place worse then here. All that was shown to me was how I feel, my digression, my runaway plan. My escape…

it seems everything I've heard
just might be true
and you know me
(well you think you do)
sometimes, I have everything - yet I wish I felt something

Perhaps he was right, maybe I'm just running away from my problems. But what does he know? Trunks doesn't know what I've gone through, or what made me this way, he just thinks because he once knew me…he can "figure me out" I had so much…I was so "fortunate".. So why did I become so numb?

do you know how far this has gone?
just how damaged have I become?
when I think I can overcome
it runs even deeper

How did it get this far, so bad, so fast? What happened to me? How fucked up am I now? My body is covered with scars…from the syringes…and razors….and my soul…I don't even want to think what I did to it…and here when someone offered to help…I just choose to sink even more into my depression…

and in a dream I'm a different me
with a perfect you
we fit perfectly
and for once in my life I feel complete
and I still want to ruin it

I can almost imagine what would happen if I accepted his offer…We could end up like his parents, Bulma and Vegeta, the seemingly perfect couple, they argue a lot, but none would be the same without the other. We could be like that. I could be whole. But I know I would try to ruin it. I would ruin it. I don't know how to handle happiness.. so its better to push him away..

as clear as day
this plan has long been underway
I hear them call
I cannot stay
the voice inviting me away

It's clear to me what I have to do, I need to escape again, they can't wish me back twice, right? I've had this planned too long to turn back now…

"Pan!" Mom

"Pan-chan!" Dad

"Panny!" Trunks

"Pan!" Grandpa

"Pan-chan!" Grandma

"Panny!" Goten

They're all calling me to come back but  I can't because the voice inside, the only one I listen to, is telling me to still run. So run I shall…

do you know how far this has gone?
just how damaged have I become?
when I think I can overcome
it runs even deeper

I feel somebody grab my arm. I gasp in surprise and find myself face to face with one of the people who probably "knows" me best…Grandpa…did they send him after me? Does he know how fucked up I've let me get? Suddenly, in front of the all-pure one, instead of feeling relieved or hopeful, I feel even worse…

everything that matters is gone
all the hands of hope have withdrawn
could you try to help me hang on?
it runs...

"Panny, why?" His voice is sharp, no pity, just curiosity. He wants the truth? How could he understand? But I'll try…

"It's too late for me, that's why Grandpa."

"It's never too late Pan" Is it true? Can he maybe help me? Can I be saved? Then the voice answers, no one saves a sinner.

"I'm sorry Grandpa, it's too strong" And then I fly off again, and he's probably sitting there in shock, I just hope he or anybody else won't follow me.

I straight
I won't crack
on my way
and I can't turn back

I'm not going to break this time…I can't…But I also can't turn back…no more pretending…now the real Pan comes out…I can't keep her suppressed any longer..

I'm okay

I'm on track

On my way

And I can't turn back

I'm going to be "okay" I don't need them…right? But where can I stay…I'm on track…but to where? I can't turn back, can't go "home", that much I know

I stayed

On this track

Gone too far

Can't come back

I stayed on this road so long…I've gone too far off, going back isn't an option anymore, is it? No…I have to go forward. Going back will only drag me down further…all I can hope is that they won't come after me…

I stayed

On this track

Lost my way

Can't come back

I'm pushing forward, like I always do, always following the same thin white line.  But where am I going? I feel lost…I don't know where to go…so lost…nowhere to go…all I know is this, I can't come back….right?

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Panny's the one running now! Like farther like daughter eh? Will she come back, or will someone find her? Next chap: Bra's POV……should be interesting ..as we all remember, Bra was not happy with Pan…not at all…